Reading + Hair Hippos (1436 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 0.81 on 77 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by ghola (View user info) at 2008-04-16 20:19:57 EDT
Due to poverty, laziness, etc, I've been reading online journals/zines lately and have come across some killer stories. Here are some stand out favorites.
http://www.monkeybicycle.net/archive/Woodward/intellectual.html
http://www.pindeldyboz.com/bsgsusan.htm
http://www.mcsweeneys.net/2008/3/12shaw.html
http://www.thievesjargon.com/workview.php?work=1052
http://failbetter.com/26/HavelEnough.php?sexnSrc=Latest
http://www.darkskymagazine.com/2008/01/14/hog-ripping/
http://www.juked.com/2008/02/ruiner.asp
http://www.diceybrownmagazine.com/roughton.html
http://wordriot.org/template_2.php?ID=1431
http://www.thievesjargon.com/workview.php?work=1045
http://nanofiction.org/archive/20080408prathnalor.html
http://www.postroadmag.com/12/fiction/Kimball.phtml
http://www.pequin.org/archives/2008/christopherluppi/serious.php
http://www.unsaidmagazine.com/exclusives/index.html
http://hobartpulp.com/website/september/jones.html
http://pequin.org/archives/2008/brianfoley/theideaofmichael.php
http://friggmagazine.com/issuenineteen/poemsstories/fiction/King/Leroy.htm
http://www.mcsweeneys.net/2008/3/6bridgman.html
http://www.toasted-cheese.com/ezine/2008/8-1/phillips.htm
http://www.wordriot.org/template_2.php?ID=1445
http://www.wanderingarmy.com/archives/136.html
Also, I have recently cut all my hair off. Hair is dumb. Inside your hair, there are tiny creatures who very much resemble hippos. These hippo's function in life is to make your head slightly heavier. With a such a heavy, fat head, you'll become depressed. Tiny hair-hippos feed off depression. They'll grow larger and larger until you die. I'm avoiding this.
User Reviews
Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals (user info) at 2008-06-15 22:54:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
tfits?
Submitted by Fungah (user info) at 2008-06-15 20:12:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I've always thought that you look like a real life peppermint patty, but grown up, and beautiful of course.
Submitted by Beano312003 (user info) at 2008-05-13 11:55:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh, and thanks for the stories.
Submitted by Beano312003 (user info) at 2008-05-13 11:54:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
you look about 13 !
Submitted by ruthless (user info) at 2008-05-11 00:27:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
ghola is adorable.
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2008-04-22 18:36:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You used to look like a pseudo-dyke. http://www.ubersite.com/m/83335
Now you look like a teenage boy.
Kill the freckles, do it.
Submitted by Titus (user info) at 2008-04-20 22:19:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
but this is the only angle I care about, it's the money-shot angle
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2008-04-20 12:48:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
you can't tell what i look like from that angle. i could be much MUCH uglier than you think.
Submitted by Titus (user info) at 2008-04-20 10:45:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
With a nose job and collagen injections you'd be quite pretty.
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2008-04-20 09:37:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
*nods to Berty and Hurty*
I'm not even in the water yet and of course it's wireless.
Submitted by beeltea (user info) at 2008-04-18 14:36:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
hair hippos, eh? I think I'm going to cut mine short too.
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2008-04-18 06:28:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
If your internet is wireless then living on water ain't gonna help.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2008-04-18 05:55:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2008-04-17 11:06:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2008-04-17 10:46:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2008-04-17 10:33:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
NO!
My gay crappy Lap Top and the whore that is Uber are having a fisting competition at my expense. The result is making me and the baby Jesus cry ever lasting tears of blood and rage. Further more I lackthe ability, internet connect or another computer to deal with this violation. I do however have a can of petrol outside and I am seriously concidering letting forth my vengance against my tormentors.
------------------------------------
Hey, do not blame Uber for your decision to live on a water borne caravan.
____________________________________
What has the 'water borne caravan' have to do with anything?
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Internet connections are the new leylines and... I DON'T KNOW OKAY!? I WAS THinking something like "water bl4cks netwebebey connecticons" but that is retarded because you are moored.
My brain iisn't working properly. Perhaps I will have a brain stroke like Emissions Impossible and end up becoming obsessed with Little Britian before my premature death.
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2008-04-18 05:40:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
.
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2008-04-18 05:39:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2008-04-17 19:00:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Cute swoopy hair thingy, B.
I've been seeing your links on the thing and I'm going to sit down and read when I'm done doing this stuff I'm doing.
Submitted by GangsterSquid (user info) at 2008-04-17 18:14:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I find your sense of humor quite sophomoric and your taste in literature pompous.
Nevertheless, I haven't seen these before so +0.
Submitted by Lib (user info) at 2008-04-17 12:46:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2008-04-17 11:23:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You didn't need to shave off your head, you just needed to douse it with some good ol' Bald Eagle killin DDT. Kills Hippos DEAD.
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2008-04-17 11:18:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
http://www.notellmotel.org/poem_single.php?id=1345_0_1_0
http://www.notellmotel.org/poem_single.php?id=1335_0_1_0
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2008-04-17 11:06:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2008-04-17 10:46:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2008-04-17 10:33:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
NO!
My gay crappy Lap Top and the whore that is Uber are having a fisting competition at my expense. The result is making me and the baby Jesus cry ever lasting tears of blood and rage. Further more I lackthe ability, internet connect or another computer to deal with this violation. I do however have a can of petrol outside and I am seriously concidering letting forth my vengance against my tormentors.
------------------------------------
Hey, do not blame Uber for your decision to live on a water borne caravan.
____________________________________
What has the 'water borne caravan' have to do with anything?
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2008-04-17 10:57:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
you're right.
and you're welcome.
i guess.
+2 for exposing me to new things
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2008-04-17 10:46:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2008-04-17 10:33:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
NO!
My gay crappy Lap Top and the whore that is Uber are having a fisting competition at my expense. The result is making me and the baby Jesus cry ever lasting tears of blood and rage. Further more I lackthe ability, internet connect or another computer to deal with this violation. I do however have a can of petrol outside and I am seriously concidering letting forth my vengance against my tormentors.
------------------------------------
Hey, do not blame Uber for your decision to live on a water borne caravan.
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2008-04-17 10:33:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
NO!
My gay crappy Lap Top and the whore that is Uber are having a fisting competition at my expense. The result is making me and the baby Jesus cry ever lasting tears of blood and rage. Further more I lackthe ability, internet connect or another computer to deal with this violation. I do however have a can of petrol outside and I am seriously concidering letting forth my vengance against my tormentors.
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2008-04-17 10:29:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
it is nice that you read three of them though. thank you.
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2008-04-17 10:29:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2008-04-17 10:19:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
the three of those i read were not very good
-
we like different types of writing. i would be astonished if you liked any of them or chose to label them "good."
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-04-17 10:24:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
LitleM, are you ok sweetheart?
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2008-04-17 10:19:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
the three of those i read were not very good
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2008-04-17 10:19:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
FUCKING UBER
I WISH IT WOULD STOP DOING THAT
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2008-04-17 10:18:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Christ....For a second there I thought you were saying you cut all your hair off because you had lice.
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2008-04-17 10:11:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i'm changing my rating, that's all you need to know
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-04-17 10:10:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'll pass on the blow job, thanks. See if scourge will do you instead.
Off to the golf tournament, losers.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2008-04-17 09:57:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Hey, blow me, I got here well after this was posted.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-04-17 09:48:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I already called her...shows what YOU know.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2008-04-17 09:34:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
That's not all your hair, you realize. You should go balls ou...um, ovaries out...and just buzz it all off. Unless by "cut off all my hair" you meant everything but your head. If so, expect Shlongy to call you within the hour.
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2008-04-17 09:25:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Christ...at first I thought you were saying you had cut all your hair off because you had lice.
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2008-04-17 09:19:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
most of them are quirky/amusing/short.
This one is actually from a print mag:
http://www.postroadmag.com/12/fiction/Kimball.phtml
Go read it. It is my favorite.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-04-17 09:16:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i havent read much content yet, i am judging the e book by their covers.
besides, i have trouble reading anything other than black type on white background.
you have such a nice complexion.
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2008-04-17 09:11:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-04-17 09:00:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
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Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2008-04-17 13:49:08 BST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-04-17 08:20:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Some of those site are appalling.
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I hope they are all appalling.
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huh?
---
Everyone had different aesthetics. I trust that somewhere there are stories you like to read and they are different from the stories I like to read. This is good, I think. I also assume that somewhere there exists an online lit mag that encompasses these stories, which you could read and then support the small press. I am glad your tastes are different than mine. It is difficult for me to judge art that someone has put effort into. Art isn't like a door. I can judge a door. I can say, "That door hasn't been hung properly."
I am feeling generally amiable this morning. My mentor and favorite professor has recently passed away. This has changed my attitude and writing in unexpected ways.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2008-04-17 09:08:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
If hot babes take to the road in a vehicle with untinted windows then they have accepted the risks of being flash photographed (or simply flashed for that matter). No court in the land would have convicted you.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-04-17 09:07:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
bertys spelling is correct. we'd know, it was our language first. :)
Submitted by Rhymenocerous (user info) at 2008-04-17 09:05:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2008-04-17 08:59:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Rhymenocerous (user info) at 2008-04-17 08:52:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You take a lot of pictures of yourself while driving.
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I am inclined to believe she has a boy who's specific purpose is to photograph Ghola in the car. That is just how organised she is.
=========================
"organized" lulz ur spelilng iz pore. But srsly, taking pictures in the car is dangerous. I took a picture from the back seat of our Yaris in Iceland, the flash went off and we almost crashed into a car full of hot babes who wanted to party. We really dodge the bullet on that one. Girls have cooties.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-04-17 09:00:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
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Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2008-04-17 13:49:08 BST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-04-17 08:20:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Some of those site are appalling.
---
I hope they are all appalling.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
huh?
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2008-04-17 08:59:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Rhymenocerous (user info) at 2008-04-17 08:52:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You take a lot of pictures of yourself while driving.
------------------------------------------
I am inclined to believe she has a boy who's specific purpose is to photograph Ghola in the car. That is just how organised she is.
Submitted by Rhymenocerous (user info) at 2008-04-17 08:52:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You take a lot of pictures of yourself while driving.
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2008-04-17 08:49:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-04-17 08:20:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Some of those site are appalling.
---
I hope they are all appalling.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2008-04-17 08:35:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-04-17 08:28:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
hey, matnotharry, ghola kind looks like you! :)
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Yeah, only Matnotharry has bigger boobs.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-04-17 08:28:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
hey, matnotharry, ghola kind looks like you! :)
Submitted by matnotharry (user info) at 2008-04-17 08:23:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
My essay has gone out the window, thanks for that
(no really, thanks)
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-04-17 08:20:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Some of those site are appalling.
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2008-04-17 08:12:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hi
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-04-17 07:23:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
THIS DESERVES A BETTER RATING.
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2008-04-17 07:22:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by moneyshotforyou (user info) at 2008-04-17 06:56:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I would make a comment here but I am sure natural selection will take care of you.
Submitted by sexualchocolate1984 (user info) at 2008-04-17 06:30:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I would so tap that....
.....If she'd stop crying and cutting herself. Fucking EMOs.
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2008-04-17 03:58:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Emo + Links = -2
Submitted by Hookhand (user info) at 2008-04-17 03:33:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'd hit it
Submitted by DeathJester (user info) at 2008-04-17 02:37:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
EEEEEEEEEEEEMOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Submitted by joedaddy (user info) at 2008-04-17 02:34:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
that collection of sites just might be the worst i've ever seen, but i guess it's just a matter of taste
Submitted by pen_name (user info) at 2008-04-17 01:46:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
seems like a good opportunity of a linkwhore.
http://www.ubersite.com/m/77166
http://www.ubersite.com/m/67338
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2008-04-17 01:25:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
your nose is huge
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2008-04-16 23:21:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2008-04-16 21:25:04 CDT (#)
Ranking: 0
lol @ apollo's classism
it's more like cashism.
i'm still a scumbag.
Submitted by SPECIALk (user info) at 2008-04-16 23:08:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
hair hippos...hehehe..heheh
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2008-04-16 22:25:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
lol @ apollo's classism
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2008-04-16 21:30:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Can't touch this (x2)
Can't touch this (oh-oh oh oh oh-oh-oh) (x2)
My-my-my-my music hits me so hard makes me say oh my Lord
Thank you for blessing me with a mind to rhyme and two hyped feet
It feels good when you know you're down
A superdope homegirl from the Oaktown
And I'm known as such
And this is a beat uh u can't touch
I told you homegirl u can't touch this
Yeah that's how we're livin' and you know u can't touch this
Look in my eyes man u can't touch this
You know let me bust the funky lyrics u can't touch this
Fresh new kicks and pants
You got it like that now you know you wanna dance
So move out of your seat
And get a fly girl and catch this beat
While it's rollin' hold on pump a little bit
And let me know it's going on like that like that
Cold on a mission so pull on back
Let 'em know that you're too much
And this is a beat uh u can't touch
Yo I told you u can't touch this
Why you standing there man u can't touch this
Yo sound the bells school is in sucker u can't touch this
Give me a song or rhythm
Making 'em sweat that's what I'm giving 'em
Now they know when you talk about the Ghola
You talk about a show that's hyped and tight
Singers are sweatin' so pass them a mic
Or a tape to learn what it's gonna take
And now he's gonna burn
The charts legit either work hard
Or you might as well quit
That's word because you know
U can't touch this (oh-oh oh oh-oh-oh) (x2)
Break it down
(Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh oh-oh) (x4)
Stop Ghola time
Go with the flow in a spin if you can't move to this
Then you probably are dead
So wave your hands in the air
Bust throught the moves run your fingers through your hair
This is it for a winner
Dance to this and you're gonna get thinner
Move slide your rump
Just for a minute let's all do the bump
Bump bump bump yeah
U can't touch this
Look man u can't touch this
You'll probably get hyped girl
'Cause you know you can't u can't touch this
Ring the bell school's back in break it down
(Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh) (x4)
Stop Ghola time
(Oh-oh oh oh oh-oh-oh) (x2)
(Oh-oh oh-oh oh-oh oh-oh)
(Oh-oh oh oh oh-oh-oh) u can't touch this (x3)
(Oh-oh oh oh oh-oh-oh) break it down
(Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh) (x2)
Stop Ghola time
Every time you see me that Ghola's just so hype
I'm dope on the floor and I'm magic on the mic
Now why would I ever stop doing this
With others makin' records that just don't hit
I toured around the world from London to the BAY
It's Ghola go Ghola
mc Ghola yo Ghola and the rest can go and play
U can't touch this (oh-oh oh oh oh-oh-oh) (x2)
U can't touch this (oh-oh oh-oh-oh)
Yeah u can't touch this
I told you u can't touch this (oh-oh oh-oh-oh)
Too hype can't touch this
Get me outta here u can't touch this
(Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh)
Submitted by ilikesteak (user info) at 2008-04-16 20:50:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Also, the time is currently: GHOLATIME
Ten minutes from now, it will be: GHOLATIME
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2008-04-16 20:47:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
MY WORD THAT IS A CHEAP CAR
Submitted by Ltap (user info) at 2008-04-16 20:35:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Wow, you really do look like a 10-year-old male Thai hooker.
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2008-04-16 20:30:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 willie masturbation
Submitted by ilikesteak (user info) at 2008-04-16 20:30:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
What car is it?
My car is like a clown car, because I'm way taller than it, and I treat it like a rally car, because the engine doesn't cut at a certain speed.
(Don't worry, I hate driving too)
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2008-04-16 20:28:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
look how fast rob shows up at steak masturbation time!
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2008-04-16 20:28:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
I WILL READ ALL THOSE STORIES FOR SURE!
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2008-04-16 20:27:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 WILLIE.
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2008-04-16 20:25:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
steak masturbation time?
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2008-04-16 20:24:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
yup. got a raise. bought a car. back to zero.
Submitted by ilikesteak (user info) at 2008-04-16 20:23:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
But I thought you got a raise?
Hippos are one of my favorite animals. I imagine them as lovely, as opposed to the reality that they kill more people than sharks every year. Fucking sharks!
Also: Guess what time it is?
Submitted by Badlands (user info) at 2008-04-16 20:22:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Thanks. I'll check these out. But you forgot: http://www.ubersite.com/u/Badlands