Hunting for Hoochies (738 hits)
Category: Quotes & StoriesLabels: fiction
Rating: 0.84 on 39 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Flash Harry (View user info) at 2008-04-24 06:50:07 EDT
Dave peered through the leaves, watching intently. The afternoon was growing late, and the sun set on the idyllic clearing in the trees. It was almost time to eat, and Dave's stomach rumbled in protest. His appetite had not been sated all day, which was bad news in this forest, where corpulence was a sign of power, and obesity an indication of rank.
His beady eyes were fixed on the brunette who rambled through the long grass, collecting dry twigs for firewood. She would be a perfect captive. She had four limbs, and a fine, curved outline. The skimpy animal furs were small enough that Dave could assess her fully. Her pale skin appeared promisingly unblemished, and her frame was strong enough to suggest that her bones were sturdy and strong. Just the way he likes them.
Dave's gaze flitted away from the girl for a moment, to scan the edge of the clearing. He wanted to guarantee he was not about to walk into a trap set by one of his enemies. The girl was almost certainly the daughter of one who wished him dead. He turned his nostrils to the air and sniffed cautiously.
He detected nothing suspicious. His stomach churned again, as though in agreement, encouraging him. He placed his dirty hands around it in a consoling manner. 'Soon we shall eat,' he whispered to it gently.
The girl, oblivious to his attentions and singing gaily, bent down to gather her pile together. Her buttocks rose proudly, facing him, teasing him. Dave licked his grimy lips at the sight of their meaty promise. His loincloth rose slightly, betraying the swelling in his cock at the sight of the helpless girl's lips peering through her spread legs.
His arousal was inconvenient, but hardly disastrous. Selecting a heavy stone from the ground, Dave clenched it between his fingers, and with a silent swish launched it into the air.
The rock whistled through the sky, the light from the setting sun dancing on its smooth surface. With a tender thud, it landed plum on the girl's head. Her legs crumpled, and she sank into a quiet heap in the grass.
Dave sprung into life. Clutching a long-handled axe, he swiftly broke from the sheltering trees and dashed towards her prone body, ducking low. The impressive beef on his stomach swung in time with his powerful thighs, and his eyes scanned the surrounding woodlands instinctively as he ran.
The girl was still conscious when he reached her. She moaned in confusion, and her face contorted with pain. He stood above her, his beastly penis pulsing with wild enthusiasm and his bulbous stomach churning angrily. Her eyes met his, and she opened her mouth to scream.
Dave's foot, filthy with muck and dirt, stamped over her lips, muffling her yelps. She tried to bite, but his skin was so calloused that he barely noticed. He calmly heaved his weapon above his head and brought it down hard, connecting with the side of her knee. A crunch told him it shattered on impact. Now the bitch wouldn't run. Dave likes them prone.
He leaned down and grabbed her roughly by the hair, and began walking back to the trees, dragging her bodily behind him. Her cries of fury and pain fell on deaf ears; her pile of dry twigs abandoned.
Dave whistled a jolly tune as he returned to his cave. His stomach and his cock growled and throbbed for his attention in equal measure. He would enjoy deciding which to sate first. A broad grin fell across his grubby lips; it had been a good day. Dinner and a wife, albeit a brief one.
The girl's roars of protest went on, and Dave decided to fuck her before he ate her.
He likes them feisty.
User Reviews
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2008-04-25 04:49:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
So yeah...
Didn't like this really.
Submitted by shitfuck (user info) at 2008-04-24 23:03:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
So was rape invented back then or what?
Submitted by Lib (user info) at 2008-04-24 12:37:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by SgtHartman (user info) at 2008-04-24 12:20:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
nice
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2008-04-24 09:48:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Awesomely big thunderstorm rocking up. It's making me all goose pimply.
I just wanted to tell someone....carry on.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-04-24 09:36:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No, I asked him, he turned me down.
I'm not made for marriage. Unless we started swinging with Ron and Barbara from next door when we hit 40.
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-04-24 09:33:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Wedding? I thought it we were just gonna hump...
Submitted by DrogoRoch (user info) at 2008-04-24 09:22:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Uber wedding below how sweet!
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-04-24 09:20:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
What Drogo said - this is why FJ and I are *perfect* for one another.
:)
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2008-04-24 09:16:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
I almost enjoyed this but you're kind of an ass so I'm rating the post AND the poster. I'd show you the maths for this but it's all rather complicated.
Submitted by DrogoRoch (user info) at 2008-04-24 09:06:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Do you actually write anything that doesnt mention, or bear reference, to fucking? Only all your stuff seems to follow a very similar vein, a throbbing one.
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2008-04-24 08:33:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
It's like this post, only two hours long and brilliant.
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-04-24 08:32:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Never heard of it.
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2008-04-24 08:32:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2008-04-24 08:32:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
You've done way better.
Just watched Cannibal Holocaust by any chance?
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2008-04-24 08:16:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
and your mom is fucking rubbish
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2008-04-24 08:14:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
blah blah blah you're still a big vag, boy
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-04-24 08:14:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
His post was rubbish and steak deserves to win. End of.
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2008-04-24 08:14:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
hey, he started by -2ing my post that is up against his in a competition
Fair is Fair
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-04-24 08:12:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Ugh, Muddy and FJ are at it again.
FJ it wasn't nice though, he could win!! And I have a prize!!
Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals (user info) at 2008-04-24 08:06:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Hahaha this was pretty good.
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2008-04-24 08:06:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
FUCK YOU AND YOUR -2
Submitted by Nellypaal (user info) at 2008-04-24 08:02:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Heh.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-04-24 07:56:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hahaha @ Banj.
Submitted by Banjo (user info) at 2008-04-24 07:49:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-04-24 12:34:57 BST (#)
Ranking: 0
What do I win?!
=============
A dirty weekend sound okay?
What birth control do you favour? I go for the old 'spunk on belly' method.
------------
Has method approved you spunking on his belly? Orph - do you want his spunk after its been on method's belly? Could you love the child anyway?
Submitted by creep_firebombing (user info) at 2008-04-24 07:44:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-04-24 07:24:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Broken knees could lead to interesting positions, no?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
That reminded me of a conversation I once had with TigerLilly. We were talking about sex when she said something to the effect of, "You'd be surprised what I can do. Legs get in the way." I laughed and got a hard on at the same time.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-04-24 07:42:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh obviously, with 5 children already and another 2 on the way, I don't bother with such trivial things as birth control.
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-04-24 07:34:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
What do I win?!
=============
A dirty weekend sound okay?
What birth control do you favour? I go for the old 'spunk on belly' method.
Submitted by TheGoat (user info) at 2008-04-24 07:29:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
*horny
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-04-24 07:29:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
They have rough sex, like we did last night, then he eats her, also like last night.
What do I win?!
;)
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-04-24 07:24:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Broken knees could lead to interesting positions, no?
If anyone wants to write a 'Part 2' for this then feel free. I had ideas for what would happen but my work's a bit too busy at the minute.
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2008-04-24 07:19:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Poor knees
Always get the short end of the stick.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-04-24 07:09:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No, Dave works really.
See, you should have posted *this* for Uberotica.
You lose.
lol.
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-04-24 07:05:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Keith? Sounds like a pharmacist.
I should've called him something powerful. Like 'Thor'
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-04-24 07:02:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Keith.
Submitted by Banjo (user info) at 2008-04-24 07:02:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
made me laugh
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-04-24 07:02:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
What name would you prefer love?
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-04-24 06:57:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
First Alan, now Dave. Are you going through every crap name you can think of?
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-04-24 06:55:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This is crap. Give it up Flash.