Steroid Scandal Rewrites History (571 hits)
Category: NewsRating: 1.66 on 15 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by jasumthin (View user info) at 2008-04-26 15:48:32 EDT
Years after the most celebrated upset in history, the sports world was rocked as another steroid scandal came to light. The claim that "slow and steady wins the race" was shattered as pictures linking the Tortoise to human growth hormone have recently surfaced as part of a three-year investigation. The Tortoise became a worldwide overnight sports legend following his defeat of the Hare in their historic race in August of 1973.
Life after that fateful day was never the same for either competitor. The tortoise found himself with multimillion dollar endorsement deals, a cameo spot on Love Boat, and his own life of nutritional supplements. Unfortunately, the same could not be said about the Hare.
Unable to cope with the embarrassment and let down from the historic defeat, the Hare started down a much darker path. Following the loss he became a recluse and fell into a life of drugs and alcohol. His use spiraled out of control resulting in a divorce in 1979, numerous arrests or drug and alcohol related charges, and ultimately his suicide in 1984.
In a DEA raid, files linking the Tortoise to BALCO were recovered from offices in Florida. The BALCO company has also been linked to allegedly supplying other professional athletes with steroids and other performance drugs including Barry Bonds, Jason Giambi, and Marion Jones. Attempts to contact representatives for the Tortoise and BALCO have been unsuccessful, as they have not returned any phone calls or emails.
This revelation is yet another upset marred by the use of steroids and illegal performance enhancing substances. In March of 2007 after a lengthy investigation, it was confirmed that David had illegal growth hormones found in his system following his victory over Goliath, the champion of the Philistines. The results of the post-fight drug test were finally made available by the Catholic Church after a lengthy legal battle concerning sealed Vatican files and the Freedom of Information Act.
User Reviews
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2008-04-29 13:12:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Yozz (user info) at 2008-04-28 15:15:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Love
Exciting and New
Come aboard
We're expecting you
The Love Boat
soon will be making another run
The Love Boat
promises something for everyone
Set a course for adventure,
your mind's on a new romance
And Love
won't hurt anymore
it's an open smile
on a friendly shore
It's Love
Welcome aboard it's love
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2008-04-28 14:15:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You stole this idea from me.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2008-04-28 10:26:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
meh
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2008-04-28 09:38:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2008-04-28 08:38:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Director (user info) at 2008-04-27 20:49:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This is the kind of stuff I used to write. Case in point:
http://www.ubersite.com/m/85247
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2008-04-27 18:38:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Banjo (user info) at 2008-04-27 15:38:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
lol, funny stuff.
Submitted by Replen (user info) at 2008-04-27 14:35:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by TheBrad (user info) at 2008-04-27 01:34:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Was a plus one until the david and goliath Part.
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2008-04-26 21:51:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Ltap (user info) at 2008-04-26 20:08:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This could have been bad, but it was good. Congratulations.
Submitted by spyder882001 (user info) at 2008-04-26 19:48:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
roids are ruining all the good games
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2008-04-26 16:22:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Okay, this was kinda funny...