Once Upon A Time... (742 hits)
Category: Politics -> LibertariansRating: 0.7 on 28 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Director (View user info) at 2008-04-27 17:40:26 EDT
There was a little puppy. He was a happy little puppy. He had a good mamma doggie, and his pappa doggie was stern but kind.
This little puppy had lots and lots of puppy friends. He also had lots and lots of puppie brothers and sisters. Our little puppy was never lonely.
One day our little puppy, whose name, by the way, was Alfred Wainwright Binson III, decided to take a walk, all by himself, becaues he had never really been alone before in his blessed little puppy life.
As he was walking along a pretty little forest path, the puppy found a stream of water. Since he was so thirsty he had a nice long drink of water. It was cool and refreshing. As he was drinking, he saw his reflection in the water. So he bit at it. He didn't really understand when it rippeled away. His ears stood up halfway, and he cockd his little puppy head. When his reflection came back, he smiled at it. It was a pretty reflection, and even though he figured it was another puppy, he liked all other puppies, so he just smiled. It smiled back, of course, and our puppy was happy. And no longer thirsty, or hot.
After a while, Alfred Wainwright Binson III continued on his way. He came to a big, beautiful meadow at the end of the forest, and romped and romped and romped in the meadow for hours on end. He chased some butterflies, and sneezed whenever he stirred up pollen. Oh, what fun!
Pretty soon, Alfred noticed it was getting dark. He decided he'd better head on back home. So backtracked his steps through the meadow, into the forest. He came back to his spring, and had another long, delicious cool drink, which was perfect after his romp in the meadow. He smiled at his reflection some more, and his reflection smiled back.
He was such a happy puppy.
Alfred Wainwright Binson III left the stream and went on back to his farm. There he told his family all that had happened that day, and everyone was happy. After that, they all went to sleep and Alfred snuggled up in a pile with all his puppy brothers and sisters.
It was a fine end to a nice day.
Thankfully, Jack McCallum was nowhere in sight.
User Reviews
Submitted by maf54 (user info) at 2008-05-14 03:48:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No srsly... You're a bodybuilding jailmates sex toy... but the alcohol and lack of wife/life numbs the pain.
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2008-05-02 16:59:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
haha
You petty fuck.
Wanna know why you are such a miserable failure at life?
Karma.
Go have a drink, cocksmith.
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2008-04-29 16:48:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2008-04-29 13:09:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Fartman (user info) at 2008-04-29 01:56:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Director (user info) at 2008-04-27 18:12:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Well if it doesn't work out you can come live in my cardboard box with me.
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I just bought a new refrigerator. If you're thinking of adding-on, the box is yours.
You're welcome.
Submitted by jasumthin (user info) at 2008-04-28 22:10:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2008-04-28 13:38:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Homer: This place is depressing.
Grampa: Hey! I live here.
Homer: Oh, well, I'm sure it's a blast once you get used to it.
-- Homer Simpson
Bart vs. Thanksgiving
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2008-04-28 08:46:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh, what fun!
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2008-04-28 07:11:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Beano312003 (user info) at 2008-04-28 07:04:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Advice:
Stay away from Uber.
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WTF? If he doesn't are you going to prowl around his house at night and take pictures of him when he's in the shower?
Submitted by Beano312003 (user info) at 2008-04-28 07:04:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Advice:
Stay away from Uber.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2008-04-28 05:17:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Needs more gun battles in a public school.
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2008-04-28 05:11:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2008-04-27 21:03:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
How do the homeless have a computer?
______
The kind of homeless people that have had to go and stay with their mother until they get a new flat and job. Job should be fixed by this afternoon though.
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-04-28 05:09:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Uber needs more levity.
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2008-04-28 01:04:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I... I don't understand.
Isn't Jack's thing with cats???
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2008-04-27 22:30:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2008-04-27 22:21:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Actually I've done some volunteer work in KARN, Knoxville's homeless shelter. From what I hear it is pretty standard that all residents MUST not be in the building between 8 A.M. and 6 P.M. Unless they're an expecting mother. The residents have one television with basic cable and one computer per roughly three family units. The femal and child population have a rec room thing with several t.v.s and computers. The male sector have beds and group showers and nothing else.
What I'm getting at is that homeless shelters aren't aimed at giving their residents 'fun' things, but rather aimed at getting their residents jobs.
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2008-04-27 22:00:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Doodles has never heard of a homeless shelter with a DSL modem?
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2008-04-27 21:03:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
How do the homeless have a computer? Not to mention the internet or the desire to post on Uber.
Submitted by Director (user info) at 2008-04-27 20:57:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
A GODDAMNED MASTERPIECE!
Submitted by Director (user info) at 2008-04-27 20:44:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
This is a fucking masterpiece.
Submitted by Banjo (user info) at 2008-04-27 19:09:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Usually I'd be reaching for a bucket right now and asking what kind of sickly sweet love parade have I landed in and where's the nearest fire exit? Fortunately I've just watched 27 Dresses, I'm feeling all girlie mooshy and all I want ro say is, "Aww, puppies are so cutesy wootsy and Lil M and the Dir, I hope everything works out for you."
Enjoy x
Submitted by Director (user info) at 2008-04-27 18:12:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Well if it doesn't work out you can come live in my cardboard box with me. Just to make him jealous, of course. I wouldn't take advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Not me. No sirreee bob-a-roonie.
Really! I wouldn't! Scouts honor!
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2008-04-27 18:07:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
It could work out yet...............hahaha. Yet somehow I don't think it will.
Best of british to you sir.
Submitted by Director (user info) at 2008-04-27 18:04:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Watch out for the drinking though. That's where I seriously went wrong, wound up in jail, etc., etc., etc...
All over a woman, too.
*Sigh*
Submitted by Director (user info) at 2008-04-27 18:01:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Yeah. That's a bitch.
Sorry, for whatever happened.
:-(
Ah well. You're still young, and you have fantastic bewbs.
You'll be allright. I hope.
:-)
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2008-04-27 17:56:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You might want to give it a couple more days. I'm still getting randomly angry and then bursting in to tears, then drinking waaaaaaaaay too much and getting angry again stage. I'm going to stick to rage for now, it's much healthier.
Once that stage is over though....Rebound baby!
Submitted by Director (user info) at 2008-04-27 17:53:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Hey, I'm homeless, broke and single too. Wanna make out?
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2008-04-27 17:48:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm going to 2+ because I am homeless, broke and now single. I know you've had some seriously crappy times and that makes me feel a little less sorry for myself. So, thank you for that.
You will be burnt for this post though. Method will shit himself.