Dont marry! (444 hits)
Category: NoneRating: -1.06 on 20 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Traxadron (View user info) at 2008-04-28 11:22:50 EDT
She likes Starbucks.
She doesn't cook, says I should wait till we get married, which is a joke, cause I don't know what in the name of god gave her an idea I might be interested in doing that. She cleans pretty well.
But she snores sometimes, I snore louder. She buys me presents, and I like them most of the time. They are of good use to me. I buy her almost nothing, dont see a need to waste money. I do pay for dinner 60% of the time, and I also by Astroglide all the time. I buy porn, she wont do it.
I win all of the arguments, fights. I am also smarter than her. She makes good money but not more than me.
Sex is awesome, she give amazing head and is a great sport in bed, which is good when I am tired and just want to lay back and let do the deed. She is also always up for sex which is always a plus!
She is head over heels for me, in love, deep. I am not anywhere near that, and never will be.
She is very honest, clean and pure. Something I used to cherish so much in my previous relationship. Now it makes me sick.
I used to be the guy who sent flowers to a loved one at work, with chocolates. I don't do that for her, or anyone else for that matter as I don't love anyone, except my dog, and parents.
Marriage material or not???? I kind of gotta decide before the summer starts!! Its been almost a year, and I dont want to waste her time or mine more than we have to. Sex is good though.
User Reviews
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2008-04-28 12:16:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
She doesn't cook, says I should wait till we get married, which is a joke, cause I don't know what in the name of god gave her an idea I might be interested in doing that.
Sex is awesome, she give amazing head and is a great sport in bed, which is good when I am tired and just want to lay back and let do the deed. She is also always up for sex which is always a plus!
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She will blow you but won't cook for you until you're married? What the chefuck?
Wait, or did you just make up the sex paragraph? Yeah, I think that's it.
Wait, or did you just make up the paragraphs that describe a relationship with a girl? yeah, I now think that's it.
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2008-04-28 12:13:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
The tribe has spoken. You should not get married. You SHOULD commit suicide. Go. Make with the drinking of the Drano or the stabbing of yourself in the stomach.
Submitted by traxadron (user info) at 2008-04-28 11:57:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Killer reviews... Keep them coming you cum buckets!!
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2008-04-28 11:55:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
She's dumber than you? How is that even possible? A Crisco'd toilet paper roll would be a few IQ points above the author of THIS shit.
Don't get married. In fact, cut off your dick so you never reproduce. Your head too.
Submitted by Ltap (user info) at 2008-04-28 11:48:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Why are you asking us?
You're a moron. Die. Now.
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-04-28 11:48:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
What kind of idiot would seek an opinion HERE?
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The kind of idiot that believes his wife enjoys sex. Haha.
Submitted by Nellypaal (user info) at 2008-04-28 11:46:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
What kind of idiot would seek an opinion HERE?
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2008-04-28 11:41:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
The institution of marriage is a large, steaming crock of shit but that doesn't change the fact that you are a huge, rancid, festering boil and should be lanced immediately.
Cocksmith is indeed a good adjective to describe you.
I hope she fucks your best friend.
Have a nice day.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-04-28 11:41:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
You sound like quite the catch, Shitforbrains.
Submitted by GodChicken (user info) at 2008-04-28 11:40:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2008-04-28 11:27:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by SgtHartman (user info) at 2008-04-28 11:25:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
hmmmm what would you trade up for? a girl who sucks in bed, doesnt buy you shit, lies all the time, fucks people behind your back, but she can cook a good steak?
what are you a fucking moron, grab her up and lock her down before she realizes what an asshole you are and finds someone better.
or don't cause she'll eventually realise what a fucking moron you are anyway and divorce you costing you tons of money and turning you into an even bigger cocksmith than you already are.
Submitted by BeforeEmily (user info) at 2008-04-28 11:40:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2008-04-28 11:34:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No, you're not marriage material.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2008-04-28 11:33:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
So you're a shit, you've put that across pretty clearly here, but we don't judge at Uber. You can be a shit if you want; it's smelly but it's natural.
Thusly you should be true to yourself. Meaning that you will never, ever find anyone right to marry because lets be truthful; what kind of woman would that be? Some manner of aggresive equal? You couldn't live with that, you'd just argue all the time.
I reckon you should marry her and treat her like dirt. Belittle her, break her. Grind her down and fuck her arse when she's asleep. If she ever gives you any shit you can just punch her and then whip her with your belt.
All we ask is that you post about it on Uber, with pictures, so we can get off on your hatred for awhile before somebody informs the authoraties and you're taken away to share a cell with I_H_A_K_F.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2008-04-28 11:33:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
fuck off
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-04-28 11:31:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Do whatever makes you happy. Remember, marriage isn't forever anymore.
Submitted by SgtHartman (user info) at 2008-04-28 11:28:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2008-04-28 11:27:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by SgtHartman (user info) at 2008-04-28 11:25:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
hmmmm what would you trade up for? a girl who sucks in bed, doesnt buy you shit, lies all the time, fucks people behind your back, but she can cook a good steak?
what are you a fucking moron, grab her up and lock her down before she realizes what an asshole you are and finds someone better.
or don't cause she'll eventually realise what a fucking moron you are anyway and divorce you costing you tons of money and turning you into an even bigger cocksmith than you already are.
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touche' sir, touche'
Submitted by PepsiCoke (user info) at 2008-04-28 11:27:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
lol
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2008-04-28 11:27:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by SgtHartman (user info) at 2008-04-28 11:25:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
hmmmm what would you trade up for? a girl who sucks in bed, doesnt buy you shit, lies all the time, fucks people behind your back, but she can cook a good steak?
what are you a fucking moron, grab her up and lock her down before she realizes what an asshole you are and finds someone better.
or don't cause she'll eventually realise what a fucking moron you are anyway and divorce you costing you tons of money and turning you into an even bigger cocksmith than you already are.
Submitted by SgtHartman (user info) at 2008-04-28 11:25:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
hmmmm what would you trade up for? a girl who sucks in bed, doesnt buy you shit, lies all the time, fucks people behind your back, but she can cook a good steak?
what are you a fucking moron, grab her up and lock her down before she realizes what an asshole you are and finds someone better.
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2008-04-28 11:25:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
You come across as a great catch.