i dropped my alpha-bits in the bible. (853 hits)
Category: Quotes & Stories -> PoetryRating: 0.75 on 26 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by puck (View user info) at 2008-04-28 16:06:22 EDT
it ain't often the sun sets in the east
or when lawn gnomes start walking and build houses out of
the tree trunks left from
the land you were clearing to make a swimming pool.
God only knows how many people I've killed.
it's been seven days and nights, and we're still falling
but that's just what the gypsies said
to her as she stood at
the edge of the bridge.
God only knows how many more will fall behind.
they held their cellphones close
with the five-oh set to speed dial like a safety light
still the same damn blue of
their television set behind
their locked and bolted doors.
God only knows how many reruns they've watched.
the apocalypse is a blind girl's dream matey
i remember i shagged her when I was drunk
a fortnight ago before I left for
St. Petersburg
where the whiskey cost a shilling less
God only knows how many lives I've lived.
hidden in the attic with footsteps underneath
they sure ain't looking for no mice
and Annie's just a sad tale these days
on the required reading list
at your local High School.
God only knows what else they're learning.
User Reviews
Submitted by peacenik_in_hell (user info) at 2008-04-29 16:27:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-04-29 11:02:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
+2 for effort
-2 for failing to rhyme
_____________
oh god I knew it
my first free form poem in months
criticized, of course.
Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2008-04-29 15:31:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This was alright, and your exchange with Oathmeal was only +1 worthy.
Submitted by Lib (user info) at 2008-04-29 13:11:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2008-04-29 13:04:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
.
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2008-04-29 13:04:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2008-04-29 11:22:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-04-29 11:02:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
+2 for effort
-2 for failing to rhyme
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2008-04-29 08:37:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
meh
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-04-29 04:49:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Val (user info) at 2008-04-29 00:53:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
schlongy's old, but for the club, not like, the earth. plus method told me his semen tastes like fruit loops.
and i severely enjoyed this poetry.
Submitted by jasumthin (user info) at 2008-04-28 22:08:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2008-04-28 20:41:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Cool. I, on the other hand, am eleven or so years older than Shlongy. Eleven times as smart, as well.
:)
Submitted by peacenik_in_hell (user info) at 2008-04-28 20:35:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2008-04-28 20:30:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Pfffftttt!!! Shlongy isn't middle-aged. He's a fucking youngster.
_______________
hey, i'm just going by his pictures. he looks middle aged to me. but then again, i'm a fucking youngster.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2008-04-28 20:30:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Pfffftttt!!! Shlongy isn't middle-aged. He's a fucking youngster.
Submitted by peacenik_in_hell (user info) at 2008-04-28 20:26:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
and the more i think about it, the more i realize that's the highest compliment i'm ever going to get from Shlongy.
Submitted by peacenik_in_hell (user info) at 2008-04-28 20:20:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-04-28 16:52:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
I gave you a point for telling oathmeal to go fuck himself, in that gayly poetic manner of yours.
_________________
holy shit! SHLONGY gave me a compliment. not only that, but he recognizes me as an individual. oh. i feel blessed.
am i the only one creeped out by a middle aged man calling a twenty year old gayly poetic?
didn't Chris Hansen do something about this like two years ago?
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2008-04-28 18:14:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 puck
Submitted by BeforeEmily (user info) at 2008-04-28 17:31:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
this would have been funny if it hadn't sucked so hard
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2008-04-28 17:14:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2008-04-28 16:20:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by peacenik_in_hell (user info) at 2008-04-28 16:15:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by GangsterSquid (user info) at 2008-04-28 16:12:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Fucking kill yourself you emo piece of shit.
_________________
i tried, but then I only went across the street so I just wrote this and held you down and made you read it.
-----
I not a fan of poetry in general and usually don't read/rate it on Uber, but this exchange is worth a +2.
Submitted by Wildman (user info) at 2008-04-28 17:02:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
i dropped a deuce on a post
Submitted by GangsterSquid (user info) at 2008-04-28 17:00:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Shut your fucking senile trap Shlongy you washed up troglodyte.
Isn't there a 9 iron somewhere that needs your weak, wiry hands on it you insufferable dickhead?
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2008-04-28 16:58:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
God only knows how this will be rated.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-04-28 16:52:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
I gave you a point for telling oathmeal to go fuck himself, in that gayly poetic manner of yours.
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2008-04-28 16:20:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by peacenik_in_hell (user info) at 2008-04-28 16:15:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by GangsterSquid (user info) at 2008-04-28 16:12:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Fucking kill yourself you emo piece of shit.
_________________
i tried, but then I only went across the street so I just wrote this and held you down and made you read it.
-----
I not a fan of poetry in general and usually don't read/rate it on Uber, but this exchange is worth a +2.
Submitted by peacenik_in_hell (user info) at 2008-04-28 16:15:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by GangsterSquid (user info) at 2008-04-28 16:12:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Fucking kill yourself you emo piece of shit.
_________________
i tried, but then I only went across the street so I just wrote this and held you down and made you read it.
Submitted by GangsterSquid (user info) at 2008-04-28 16:12:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Fucking kill yourself you emo piece of shit.