My balls itch... call maintenence! (279 hits)
Category: NoneRating: -1.77 on 10 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by nahnoneofit (View user info) at 2008-04-29 01:06:30 EDT
So this is a funny little story explaining why the human race is doomed as a whole. I work in a home for a state funded agency that enriches the lives and otherwise habilitates the mentally disabled. What does that entail? Basically I sit around and chill with a few guys who live in this house all day, we play frisbee, cook on the grill, go out for icecream (your taxes pay for my trip to ben and jerrys while i get paid.... with your tax money ). Basically my job is titties.
Anyways I walked into work a little early this morning and I see a dude, in his fifties Im guessing, standing over the television with a toolbox. He says hes from maintinence and hes here to move the tv.
Apparently, my coworkers need to call maintenence to have a 25 inch tv moved from one end of the room to the other. So I'm like "okay dude, Ill help you" and I move the tv to the stand across the room.
we then proceeded to tackle the problem of moving the coaxial cable from the hole in the floor it came up from to another hole he had to drill into the basement where the new location of the television would be. Sounds pretty straight foward right? well, not to Mr. Maintenence it didnt. He stood there staring at the cable in his hand, scratching his head and looking around the room like he was gonna cry. Im pretty sure I saw steam coming out of his ears when I suggested that the basement would be a good place to start.
Ahhhh, my tax dollars at work. So Im in basement, doing this guys job, feeding the wire into the new hole he drilled on the other end of the room. Then came the moment I realized there is no hope for humanity:
This fifty year old man, a testament to half a century of wisdom, experience and knowledge, this person whose occupation is based on basic common sense, takes JUST enough wire to reach the television, leaving the rest in a tangled mess from basement ceiling to basement floor for SMART people like me to trip on next time were down there! wtf!!
I mean I'm not freakin macguyver over here or anything but come on, Its not rocket science. What was going through this guys head?
Maintence dude "uhhhh...wire not in right spot... me scared of big scary problem... me want go home and watch simpsons".
In short, I contest that this kid can do your job better then you can and look sexy doing it.
User Reviews
Submitted by nahnoneofit (user info) at 2008-04-30 21:18:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
i just got out the shower dicks
Submitted by Adamdidit2u (user info) at 2008-04-29 21:38:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
soap
learn to use it
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2008-04-29 04:44:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Torn hoodie w/ band name? check.
Astroglide on thumb? check.
Zits? check.
Can't grow a beard and insists on show that inability to all? check.
Congratulations. You're in the 5th percentile for being laughed at by the general population
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-04-29 04:30:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Is this a blog? what is this?
And stop chewing/biting your fingernails. Yuck.
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2008-04-29 03:19:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Have a wash.
Submitted by potatomanjack (user info) at 2008-04-29 03:13:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I took a dump today, and while wiping, I got some doody on my thumb. The way the poop coated my thumb bore a striking resemblence to your face with that those locks of shit draping the sides, and specles of turd instead of features.
Oh yeah,
-2 Die
Submitted by DeathJester (user info) at 2008-04-29 02:50:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Wearing old, ragged clothing and having long greasy hair does not make you Kurt Cobain.
Have a wash and a shave, tramp.
Submitted by Wildman (user info) at 2008-04-29 02:32:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Nice eyes, are those M&M's or did you just get your shit packed?
Submitted by BeforeEmily (user info) at 2008-04-29 02:06:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
or you could learn how to spell. jesus fuck
Submitted by Fartman (user info) at 2008-04-29 01:43:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Your right thumb looks greasy. Did you just pull it out of your ass?