Humans (245 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 0.2 on 6 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by shandythedog (View user info) at 2008-04-29 21:14:16 EDT
I've been lying in bed unable to sleep. It crossed my mind that I was not alone in this condition. Presumably millions or even billions of little human heads all over the globe sometimes find themselves awake in the middle of the night, thinking.
Apparently there are about 6.5 billion of us humans. But it is hard to actually conceptualise a number like 6.5 billion.
A decent sized sports stadium fits about 100,000. But a sports stadium is designed to allow people to watch sports. It's not designed as an efficient container of humans. A properly designed space occupying the volume of a sports stadium could obviously contain a lot more live humans - you wouldn't need the sports field, for a start, and the seats wouldn't need to be tiered to provide a view of the sports field. The shape could be a cube rather than a bowl. I should think at least a million people could be seated in a space the volume of a sports stadium. Probably more, but let's say a million.
So if we lined up 1,000 of these cubes we could fit one sixth of the world's population in them. Six rows of 1,000 cubes would fit everyone (quite comfortably, I would think). Every single human being could be allocated a seat. The rest of the globe could be entirely free of humans, they could ALL be sitting in one of the 6,000 cubes. The 6,000 modified sports stadiums wouldn't take up much space, much less than a single big city. The whole planet could be empty of humans, except for that one spot.
Dead humans would take up even less space. I dare say you could get at least 10 million dead humans into one cube, perhaps even more, perhaps 100 million. In this sense, 6 billion doesn't seem so many after all. Everyone could be rounded up and chucked into a decent sized hole in the ground, and that would be the end of us.
We humans have persuaded ourselves that we are very attractive to look at, or at least that some of us are. We put pictures of ourselves on TV and on the internet and on magazine covers all the time. We like to look at ourselves in mirrors. Humans paint pictures of themselves and then pay millions of dollars for these pictures. But from another point of view, we are surely one of the ugliest mammals alive. We are possibly even more ugly than those dogs that don't have fur. Humans are freakishly ugly animals. Perhaps that's why we are intent of enslaving all the other animals and destroying the planet - we are jealous of beauty.
This rarely acknowledged fact of our ugliness, combined with the current fashion for 'green' recycling, plus the generic state of anxiety and misery most of us live in, presents a magnificent business opportunity.
Trees, plants and animals are generally much more beautiful than we are. Think of undulating green fields, trees swaying in the breeze, deer frolicking, birds singing, dew drops glistening on flower petals, etc, etc. Compare this to weird hairless humans sitting on their toilets in their pokey little ensuites, wiping at their arseholes with little bits of paper, rubbing toothpaste on their stinking decaying teeth, worrying about whether their houses are enviable enough.
These are the kinds of images I will use to promote my Mass Eco Recycling and Rebirth Centres. I will need government cooperation to remove the legal barriers to suicide, but once that's done I have no doubt business will boom. Imagine if there was no social taboo or stigma associated with going to a nice place (charming gardens, tasteful decor, pleasant music, friendly staff), alone or hand-in-hand with your children and loved ones, drinking a pleasant sleeping draught, and your body then being conveyed into the recycling chamber. The nutrients from your ugly human body are then redistributed to the beautiful green grass, the flowers, the trees, the birdies, the deer, etc. You will in a sense become a part of this true beauty. A true makeover! What a contrast to those gruesome makeovers where plastic surgeons wiggle your ridiculous ugly human nose around a bit and suck a bit of fat out of your ridiculous ugly human buttocks.
Most of us have thought of suicide from time to time. How nice it would be if, when the effort of maintaining an enviable house becomes too wearying, when the thought of going to work seems unbearable, when everything becomes depressing and pointless, we could just decide, fuck it, let's go to the Rebirth Centre, I want to be part of something beautiful.
User Reviews
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2008-04-30 09:53:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I just now read this... really thought provoking.
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2008-04-29 23:30:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
This afternoon I met a guy who was on the Forbes list of wealthiest individuals on Earth. He wasn't top-tier; he was in the $1-2B range (I looked him up). Nice guy.
Fish around in your pocket and pull out two dimes, a nickel, and three pennies. Twenty-eight cents. Can you imagine the power you'd have if you could give every single person in the world twenty-eight cents?
Yeah, me neither.
Submitted by SkullBiter (user info) at 2008-04-29 21:50:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Continue to fast.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2008-04-29 21:38:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
how fight clubish!
this stirred up the adolescent in me.
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2008-04-29 21:33:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
fasting sucks
Submitted by shandythedog (user info) at 2008-04-29 21:17:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
oops, sorry about that
i must have been effected the ciggarette i just smoked
i have been fasting for almost three days,and i justdiscovered that having a ciggie in such circumstances drives you crazy
has anyone else experiemented with fasting?