Ol' Flea-Bitten Blues (1234 hits)
Category: Quotes & Stories -> PoetryLabels: poetry
Rating: 0.55 on 84 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Flash Harry (View user info) at 2008-05-02 08:28:53 EDT
May I introduce a man who lives in every town,
He doesn't know an awful lot, but he knows his way around.
There among the men in suits, waffling on the phone,
People crowd around him, yet he feels so damn alone.
In shops he's but a mannequin, the streets are where he crawls,
Watchin' happy families keeps him quite enthralled.
Sitting, grinning, straining hard to avoid undue offence;
Funny how he reeks of guilt yet swears his innocence.
Thru' sleepless night he asks himself where it all went wrong,
Past glories tease his lonely now, doubts collect in throngs.
How can he have nobody when people fill his streets?
Were unanswered questions raindrops they'd be coming down in sheets.
Lookin' hard into his eyes, they betray unhappy thoughts,
The wheels of life have come undone, he wasted all his shots.
One day things will right themselves, one day he will be jolly;
But for now he's miserable, so fuckin' melancholy.
User Reviews
Submitted by loveinbrevity (user info) at 2008-07-21 11:13:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2008-05-03 21:07:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2008-05-03 20:16:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
i'm sorry, but that was fucking horrible.
you need to mind your syllable count a bit. getting that last word to rhyme doesn't a poem make. some of those lines were so contrived and stretched to get them to rhyme...gah
just plain fucking bad.
===================
Counting on one's fingers to achieve the proper number of syllables is OK. Arranging the wording for good reading is fine, as well.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2008-05-03 20:16:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
i'm sorry, but that was fucking horrible.
you need to mind your syllable count a bit. getting that last word to rhyme doesn't a poem make. some of those lines were so contrived and stretched to get them to rhyme...gah
just plain fucking bad.
Submitted by jasumthin (user info) at 2008-05-03 13:07:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by spyder882001 (user info) at 2008-05-02 19:22:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Director (user info) at 2008-05-02 16:49:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I kinda liked it. But I just happen to like dogs. A lot.
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2008-05-02 16:33:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Doesn't do much for me.
Is "Flash Harry" intended as a reference to Harry Nilsson? If so, um...I don't know...cool.
Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2008-05-02 16:30:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
I can't imagine why this would garner 76 reviews, but I don't think I'll read them to find out.
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2008-05-02 11:59:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by DrogoRoch (user info) at 2008-05-02 10:42:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Reading every other line I got 'I really sleep with me' and I do! Every night, the problem comes when I wake up and I realise what I have done, then I just feel dirty, but that could just be the sheets.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-05-02 10:38:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Ol' STFU
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-05-02 10:37:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-05-02 15:34:38 BST (#)
Ranking: 2
I
could
really
confuse the
issue
sleep with me?
===========================
I'm gonna stick my neck out here.
*looks around sheepishly*
I'd love to.
Submitted by Toshi (user info) at 2008-05-02 10:36:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I cant believe Carter won.
Submitted by Toshi (user info) at 2008-05-02 10:36:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
This is great snooker. These two are best mates.
Finally he potted the pink!
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-05-02 10:34:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I
could
really
confuse the
issue
sleep with me?
Submitted by Beano312003 (user info) at 2008-05-02 10:34:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Toshi (user info) at 2008-05-02 10:27:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Perry may just of thrown it away with that error though. Carter seems to be getting better.
O'Sullivan is a great player but for reasons unknown I hate him nearly as much as I hate Chelsea.
-------
Geez.. see THAT pink miss!
Far too early for any mistake to be match defining.
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-05-02 10:33:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
How are we pronouncing this?
===============
Pro-zay-ik...
Submitted by DrogoRoch (user info) at 2008-05-02 10:30:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-05-02 10:22:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh Drog, I put a line there, how confusing, you can read the 2nd part to my review too.
--
You need to point out when the line break means I cant read and when I can, because this thing will throw me.
I'm just going to flaunt this rule though and say anyone can read anything I say, if they are feeling particularily desperate, to hell with which line I'm typing on.
*breaking the law breaking the law*
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-05-02 10:28:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
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Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-05-02 15:26:19 BST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-05-02 14:43:02 BST (#)
Ranking: 2
I will give you 100 quid if you think of a word that ryhmes with my surname!!
=======================================
Prosaic?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
How are we pronouncing this?
Submitted by Toshi (user info) at 2008-05-02 10:27:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Perry may just of thrown it away with that error though. Carter seems to be getting better.
O'Sullivan is a great player but for reasons unknown I hate him nearly as much as I hate Chelsea.
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-05-02 10:26:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-05-02 14:43:02 BST (#)
Ranking: 2
I will give you 100 quid if you think of a word that ryhmes with my surname!!
=======================================
Prosaic?
Submitted by Beano312003 (user info) at 2008-05-02 10:25:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Toshi (user info) at 2008-05-02 10:22:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Joe Perry to win.
----------
Its going to be closer that the o'sulivan v hendry match.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-05-02 10:22:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh Drog, I put a line there, how confusing, you can read the 2nd part to my review too.
:)
Basically, these comments are like texts, you can't translate tone of voice and an emoticon would help people understand that yes! you are angry :/, or yes! you are joking ;)
Plus, they would really make the place look pretty if they were similar to the ones they use on MSN.
Submitted by Toshi (user info) at 2008-05-02 10:22:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Joe Perry to win.
Submitted by Beano312003 (user info) at 2008-05-02 10:21:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Snooker loopy nuts are we...we're all snooker LOOP-EEEEEEEEE
Submitted by DrogoRoch (user info) at 2008-05-02 10:16:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-05-02 10:13:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This is why, drogo, I ask for the compulsory use of emticons on each review.
--
Why?
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-05-02 10:14:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
:o)
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-05-02 10:13:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This is why, drogo, I ask for the compulsory use of emticons on each review.
I did email bart with my suggestion, saying how Uber would be a happier place if we finished every comment with a :) if we were being nice, :) if we were joking and :/ if we were beig cruel, but the campaign never really took off. :( -(sad)
Submitted by DrogoRoch (user info) at 2008-05-02 10:09:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-05-02 10:05:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Leaving a line means talking to someone else. Sorry!
-----------------
You are seriously narked buy someone you have never met? How odd.
--
Narked???
hahahahahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahahahahahahaah *breathe* Hahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahaha
This place, and no one on it, narks me Orphelia. It just helps me while away my fridays before I go home.
I didnt know about the 'Leaving a line'= talking to someone else thing. So I was merely appologising for butting in.
Actually who am I talking to on this line?
or this one?
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-05-02 10:07:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I am not naming names because I atually really rather like the person, which reminds me, I should email to say hi.
I also got emails from someone who pretended to be another user and then his wife. That was seriously fucked up. Plus, I get emails from lurkers who tell me how pretty I am, I ignore them. Obviously blind as well as a fruitcake.
Submitted by Toshi (user info) at 2008-05-02 10:06:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Well my email address is there for anyone to offer any advice regarding stories I write not for personal correspondence. Can't imagine anyone would want to contact me to tell me about alters anyway.
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-05-02 10:05:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
The sun is beating down on the tonic wine-stained streets of Glasgow.
I am not using any of my alters today, I forgot the passwords :o(
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-05-02 10:05:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Leaving a line means talking to someone else. Sorry!
-----------------
You are seriously narked buy someone you have never met? How odd.
I thought we Brits were friends, all one big happy fanily lol.
Are you near a M&S? If so, pop out to the food area and go to the bakery shelf and purchase a peach custard flan. It will unnark you. I think I just tasted heaven.
Submitted by DrogoRoch (user info) at 2008-05-02 10:04:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Who sent you emails like that Orphelia? They sound a little involved with this place.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-05-02 10:02:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I was just warning you Toshi of what could happen to you. It happened to me.
It is raining here.
Submitted by DrogoRoch (user info) at 2008-05-02 10:02:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-05-02 10:00:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
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Submitted by DrogoRoch (user info) at 2008-05-02 14:56:55 BST (#)
Ranking: 0
what alter would that be? I hardly have time to be here on my own, seems I only get Fridays these days. Which is a bummer
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
lol. You pressume I meant you???
I left a line, no I was talking to FJ. Sorry. :)
--
Oh of course.
Leaving a line means talking to someone else. Sorry!
I thought I would answer anyway, seeing as I'm here for a bit.
Submitted by Toshi (user info) at 2008-05-02 10:00:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-05-02 09:57:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Toshi, wait until you give someone a '+1' and you get emails saying 'why the +1? I thought we were friends' and emails accusing you of 'knowing Hurty has alters' when you don't actually have a clue.
Or worse, wait til you start sending them
------------------
Is this all aimed at me? This is all very confusing. Seems to me no one should care about what rating a post gets.
Everyone should be happy, the sun is shining and life is good.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-05-02 10:00:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
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Submitted by DrogoRoch (user info) at 2008-05-02 14:56:55 BST (#)
Ranking: 0
what alter would that be? I hardly have time to be here on my own, seems I only get Fridays these days. Which is a bummer
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
lol. You pressume I meant you???
I left a line, no I was talking to FJ. Sorry. :)
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-05-02 09:57:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Toshi, wait until you give someone a '+1' and you get emails saying 'why the +1? I thought we were friends' and emails accusing you of 'knowing Hurty has alters' when you don't actually have a clue.
Or worse, wait til you start sending them.
Submitted by DrogoRoch (user info) at 2008-05-02 09:56:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
what alter would that be? I hardly have time to be here on my own, seems I only get Fridays these days. Which is a bummer
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-05-02 09:55:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh well, I contradict myself on a website, no worries, it isn't a crime.
Isn't your alter coming out to play today?
Submitted by DrogoRoch (user info) at 2008-05-02 09:55:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
A bit? Understatement there Toshi
Submitted by Toshi (user info) at 2008-05-02 09:54:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This website seems a bit 'nutty'
Submitted by DrogoRoch (user info) at 2008-05-02 09:53:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-05-02 09:50:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Drog, you hint how I hang out on FJ's posts, which I love, Hell, we made one together, and it seems to irk you as does my giving him (worthy) +2's. But, I have done the same on your posts and you never complained then.
--
Hahahaha
We never did this ammount of hanging out. It doesnt irk me that you give him +2 is you see them as worthy, my point there was that you had said you didnt read the posts yet +2 them anyway. Which I now know was all a big joke, you kidder you.
And I wasnt hinting that you hang out on Flash posts, I dont need to because its obvious you do, no hint required.
Your comments here on this post were a contradiction.
Submitted by Toshi (user info) at 2008-05-02 09:53:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Sorry, I just gathered that ratings don't play too big a part with regards to the actual content.
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-05-02 09:50:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
If you like it Toshi, where is the +2 love, eh?
My inspiration is the foul mood I woke up in today. Good poetry always comes from a stinking bad demeanour.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-05-02 09:50:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Drog, you hint how I hang out on FJ's posts, which I love, Hell, we made one together, and it seems to irk you as does my giving him (worthy) +2's. But, I have done the same on your posts and you never complained then.
That is all.
Fin.
Submitted by Toshi (user info) at 2008-05-02 09:47:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
This ranks as one of my favourite amateur poems. What gave you the inspiration? Apologies if you have already gone over this.
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-05-02 09:46:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Hey, I took a shot. You rhyme mine then, smarty-pants.
Submitted by DrogoRoch (user info) at 2008-05-02 09:46:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-05-02 09:44:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Well, if you are going to assume the contridiction p.o.v, check out your own comments, littlesweety.
--
I need you to point it out for me. Come, shame me. I am aware of no contradiction of mine, but will readily admit one if I have made one. I am nothing if not fickle
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-05-02 09:45:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Magic?? Ugh. Ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh!
FJ you are fired!
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-05-02 09:44:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Um...'magic'?
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-05-02 09:44:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Well, if you are going to assume the contridiction p.o.v, check out your own comments, littlesweety.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2008-05-02 09:43:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I read this most intriguing poem; more words I shall not spew;
So I'll be on my jolly way and leave you with a two.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-05-02 09:43:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I will give you 100 quid if you think of a word that ryhmes with my surname!!
Submitted by DrogoRoch (user info) at 2008-05-02 09:42:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Not trying to get the better of anyone. Just bored and playing around and its really quite fun picking at things.
Oh a scab!
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-05-02 09:40:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Cut it out drogo, shame on you trying to get the better of an internet stranger.
Minge, of course you would think of that. Mail FJ.
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-05-02 09:39:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Yeah, 'door hinge' is the best.
Or how about 'more minge'...?
Submitted by DrogoRoch (user info) at 2008-05-02 09:38:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-05-02 09:36:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh no, Drog, you misunderstood, my comment *was* aimed at you, but not you alone.
But it was handy as like I said, FJ likes constructive feedback, positive or negative.
--
So you call me big headed for the presumption that you were talking about me, and then turn round and say that you 'were'. Ahh I get it contradiction, it must be one of those Joke things.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-05-02 09:38:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I googled it and door hinge ryhmes with orange!
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-05-02 09:37:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
'Flange'? I don't even know what that is...
'Turtle' would probably suffice for 'purple', now that I think about it.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-05-02 09:36:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh no, Drog, you misunderstood, my comment *was* aimed at you, but not you alone.
But it was handy as like I said, FJ likes constructive feedback, positive or negative.
Flange for orange
Submitted by orph (user info) at 2008-05-02 09:36:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
nurple has always helped me.
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-05-02 09:35:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I see. Any better suggestions missy?
Submitted by DrogoRoch (user info) at 2008-05-02 09:34:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-05-02 09:32:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
STFU Drogo. I can give my reasons for my +2, how big headed to assume it was directed at you.
You baffoon.
--
Yes OKAY orphelia
Seems odd that we were talking about it on another post and you bring it up here though in the same day. But I will just see it all as a big coincidence and let it go.
Believe me there is no big head here.
Go for Lozenge Flash.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-05-02 09:34:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Also, FJ likes feedback on his posts. I am merely satisfying him.
FJ if you used any of those for 'orange' on here, it would be an auto -2.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-05-02 09:32:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
STFU Drogo. I can give my reasons for my +2, how big headed to assume it was directed at you.
You baffoon.
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-05-02 09:31:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I would rhyme 'orange' with: strange, derange, maybe lozenge (although that would be one weird poem).
Not perfect rhymes, but I think I could get away with it.
Submitted by DrogoRoch (user info) at 2008-05-02 09:30:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Get over it Orphelia, everyone else has.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-05-02 09:27:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Also, for those who take too much notice of what I rate (get lives) I +2 as; I love poetry, the poem evoked an emotion in me, I really liked the last two lines and I know exactly the feeling of being alone in a crowd of people.
Well done.
Submitted by DrogoRoch (user info) at 2008-05-02 09:25:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Merple? Kind of like Mermaid people. Totally made up but you can have it.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-05-02 09:22:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
What about orange?
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-05-02 09:10:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I can rhyme anything.
Except 'purple'.
Submitted by bjrog2 (user info) at 2008-05-02 09:07:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for being able to rhyme melancholy
Submitted by DrogoRoch (user info) at 2008-05-02 08:52:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Beano312003 (user info) at 2008-05-02 08:51:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by DrogoRoch (user info) at 2008-05-02 08:49:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Beano312003 (user info) at 2008-05-02 08:46:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
The dog looks like a cool dog.
--
Agreed! Looks like he could rip a guys balls off whilst still looking at you with puppy dog eyes.
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Look how he's taking up more of the pavement than needs be... as if saying..."go on, just DARE to ask me to move"
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You have a problem with my Paint bitches?
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2008-05-02 08:51:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
http://herman.manateepower.com/
Submitted by Beano312003 (user info) at 2008-05-02 08:51:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by DrogoRoch (user info) at 2008-05-02 08:49:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Beano312003 (user info) at 2008-05-02 08:46:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
The dog looks like a cool dog.
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Agreed! Looks like he could rip a guys balls off whilst still looking at you with puppy dog eyes.
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Look how he's taking up more of the pavement than needs be... as if saying..."go on, just DARE to ask me to move"
Submitted by DrogoRoch (user info) at 2008-05-02 08:49:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Beano312003 (user info) at 2008-05-02 08:46:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
The dog looks like a cool dog.
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Agreed! Looks like he could rip a guys balls off whilst still looking at you with puppy dog eyes.
Submitted by odin (user info) at 2008-05-02 08:46:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by Beano312003 (user info) at 2008-05-02 08:46:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
The dog looks like a cool dog.
Submitted by DrogoRoch (user info) at 2008-05-02 08:44:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Beano312003 (user info) at 2008-05-02 08:37:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
some real cluncky lines.
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But I liked the dog.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2008-05-02 08:37:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
NO SINGING, NO DANCING, NO SMOKING, NO SMILING, NO HAVING FUN...
... AND NO FUCKING POETRY OR ELVES.
- Manfred Von Bertstein Proper-Berg
The G'ist Jew in de Toon
Submitted by Beano312003 (user info) at 2008-05-02 08:37:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
some real cluncky lines.
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2008-05-02 08:30:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Cool, though using "Thru'" really fucked me off.