Fuck Dolphins (256 hits)
Category: GraphicsRating: -1 on 12 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by ilikesteak (View user info) at 2008-05-02 17:42:13 EDT
I don't trust dolphins. Smart bastards. Misleading with their bottle noses and high pitched form of communication. It sounds like they're laughing at me. Mocking me.
I'm demoting them to fish. They don't belong in the mammal class. Just swimming around like they own the place. I'll bet they piss in that water. They don't do it for fun like people, no; they do it because they're just stupid fish. Get a damn job. You're a pox on our economy. Can't even be properly used for military applications. They just swim around wherever they please, not doing anything useful.
But what about "SeaWorld" they cry. We perform for the amusement of children. Have you ever been to SeaWorld? It's worse than Euro Disney, where Mickey talks with what seems to be the French version of a cockney accent, and is just as likely to rob you as he is to molest your child. Your kind would be put to better use as steaks and filets. All that water could be sent to Las Vegas. They're in a drought, and you just swim there, lording all your precious water over them.
They don't even work well in movies. Flipper sucked. The whole time I was waiting for it to murder that little bastard, and I walked away disappointed. Murder always gets at least one point for awesomeness, and flipper lost that point. Name a good movie with dolphins as a character. I'll save you the few seconds of skimming imdb and let you know there aren't any.
They ruined tuna by not being in cans of it. Back when tuna was dolphin, the world was good and pure, full of vigor and life. I just can't eat tuna anymore. Now I have to switch to other canned foods for immediate meat with little to no preperation required. It just looks like cat food now. Dolphin has brought down an entire source of food.
We're even trying to communicate with them. I've talked to them, and I can tell you what a dolphin is thinking about. This is most of our conversation
Steak: Hi.
Dolphin: Fish.
Steak: Ok... How are you
Dolphin: Water!
Steak: I wasn't aware that that was an emotion or feeling.
Dolphin: Fish?
Steak: I'll bet you could use a toaster in there. I'll go get one for you.
Dolphin: Swimming.
Steak: I'll just leave this plugged in so you can use it right away.
Dolphin: Fish!
I hate them all.
User Reviews
Submitted by BeforeEmily (user info) at 2008-05-02 20:04:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
GTFO
Submitted by pen_name (user info) at 2008-05-02 19:37:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
better than your last post
Submitted by Banjo (user info) at 2008-05-02 19:18:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Don't fuck dophins... this is nasty not to mention logistically difficult... I dunno... ... fuck sake man... this is terrible... I didn't even read anything but the title... and you have know I dea how hard it is to typed it is at the moment but I]m pretty sure this is wrong... blah!
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2008-05-02 18:48:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Finkle is Einhorn! Einhorn is Finkle!
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-05-02 18:43:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Yeah, they suck. They need a QB, among other position players.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2008-05-02 18:34:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2008-05-02 18:22:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Didn't read it, not going to.
I'm just being petty - that seems to be going around these days.
===================
Only with self-centered control freaks who want to run the site. You're still pissed that Steak told you that you LOST to me. Which you did. We could call a truce if you promise to stop calling foul names when someone disagrees with you.
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2008-05-02 18:22:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Didn't read it, not going to.
I'm just being petty - that seems to be going around these days.
Submitted by ilikesteak (user info) at 2008-05-02 18:17:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I hate most things. Dolphins just so happen to be on the list.
Submitted by Hookhand (user info) at 2008-05-02 18:12:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Working Magic Eye Auto +2!
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2008-05-02 17:59:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
:)
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2008-05-02 17:46:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2008-05-02 00:06:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
http://www.sexwork.com/family/dolphins1.html
Submitted by Director (user info) at 2008-05-02 17:44:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I like Dolphins a lot more than I like people.
Fuck Las Vegas, I say. Let em' burn.