People say some interesting things around here... (1057 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 0.58 on 45 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Rob Berg (View user info) at 2008-05-06 03:18:48 EDT
All of these were found or modified from the comment section of this very site...
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Damn those obscene jesters! Why can't they leave my thorny crown alone!?
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Sticks and stones may break my bones but you're still one ugly motherfucker.
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There is NO way of verbalizing how much you hurt the planet by being on it.
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Nobody gives a fucking fuck you dickless bag of bloody shit.
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You'll soon realize that you're an insignificant twat. You're but one tiny little speck in a sea of over six billion other little specks. One day, the life will inevitably leave your mortal coil and you will cease to be. Unless you do something worth remembering, you'll quickly be forgotten - an unwritten chapter in a book that you'll have never read. What tangible mark can you possibly leave in this realm if you sit at your keyboard and espouse wisdom that is so obviously beyond your understanding?
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If I had a Delorean I'd introduce your mother to a rusty coat hanger.
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I hope your dog shits liquid shit in your mouth while you're sleeping.
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Fuck yourself somewhere small and tight.
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I'd probably fuck you in the mouth.
Just so I could tell your mom.
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I'm going to become rich and famous after I invent a device that allows you to stab people in the face over the internet.
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I laughed. I cried. I plucked myself bald and used it to stuff a pillow for suffocating your mom.
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You make the baby Jesus vomit blood and cry.
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I hope your brain gets sodomized by a drunk homeless guy.
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I wish Vader were real...then he could choke you.
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I hope a bear attacks, eats you, shits out your skull, and wipes with Charmin.
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I could fart in my pants, pull out a microscope and look at all the poo particles jumping around and that still would be more entertaining than you.
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You worthless puddle of cow spunk.
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GOD TOLD ME I'M MORE FUN THAN JESUS
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Good for you, now go jerk off on some flowers.
User Reviews
Submitted by Mr_Trollope (user info) at 2008-06-23 03:34:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Wow, you should own Ubersite.
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2008-06-23 02:16:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
...but great BURN.
You really showed all 4 people who might bother to read this "ancient post" just how super witty you are and what a loser you think I am.
Good for you. I hope that made you wet.
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2008-06-23 02:10:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
heh...
Or just saw a funny comment on another post and thought I would add it to the pile.
Oh, and you'll notice the comment before it was a few days ago. Funny after all of this time - and even paying enough attention to my digital persona to actually know that I am about to have a little baby girl any day now - that you STILL manage to get it so wrong.
I think you are a pretty cool anonymous individual and quite frankly it's people like you that make this site so frustrating for me.
I'm sure you or some other eager nerd will spin that into some kind of character flaw.
Ah well.
Submitted by pandora (user info) at 2008-06-23 01:57:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
obsessively guarding ancient posts from completely impotent comments even though he has a baby on the way or possibly already born below
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2008-06-23 01:41:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Go fuck a five o'clock shadow.
Submitted by woolfe (user info) at 2008-06-12 06:46:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by Wildman (user info) at 2008-05-09 00:48:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Uber is the place for people who walk away from real-life conversations and say to themselves:
"Goddamn it, I should have said........"
And you know what????
THEY STILL CAN'T EVEN GET IT RIGHT HERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-05-08 23:15:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2008-05-08 22:25:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2004-04-28 14:49:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
You worthless puddle of cow spunk. I wish that for every shitty post you put up, five pubic hairs would be plucked from your shriveled nutsack, you piece of shit.
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ahahaha...
How did I remember that?
*shoots self
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2008-05-07 00:20:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by indoninja (user info) at 2008-05-06 10:11:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I bet you are one of those people who trys to tell Dane Cook's jokes at parties to show people how witty you are.
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Are they worse than those people who steal other people's jokes about Dane Cook to pretend they are witty on Ubersite?
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2008-05-07 00:15:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
heh.
I figured this would go over a little better.
To all the pseudo-concerned dorks below - I credited the whole site, hardly my fault you didn't pay attention the first time around.
If it wasn't that I'm sure you'd find something else to get all scabby about.
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2008-05-06 19:24:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
you should do an uber lexicon, bart should sue, and then the judge should throw out the entire case because there's no discernible monetary value to the site or its contents
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2008-05-06 14:04:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals (user info) at 2008-05-06 04:27:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
OK, but they're not my style.
None of their songs are about throwing Ds on a report card covered in Fs.
THAT is music.
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that's not a lie.
best music video ever. i laughed harder while watching that video than the rest of that week combined.
Submitted by GangsterSquid (user info) at 2008-05-06 14:00:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I laughed. I cried. I plucked myself bald and used it to stuff a pillow for suffocating your mom.
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When I first read this I thought it said, "puked myself bald and used it to stuff a pillow for suffocating your mom."
For some reason...I am more amused by the idea of stuffing a pillowcase with my own vomit and using it to kill someone. Fantastic.
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2008-05-06 12:07:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
p00p
Submitted by SgtHartman (user info) at 2008-05-06 11:53:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
damn my worst fears are confirmed, I have never said anything witty enough for Rob to remember.
Submitted by GodChicken (user info) at 2008-05-06 11:44:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I laughed. I cried. I plucked myself bald and used it to stuff a pillow for suffocating your mom.
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+2 for me being in here.
Submitted by rorrim (user info) at 2008-05-06 11:42:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Submitted by Beano312003 (user info) at 2008-05-06 09:08:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Hey Rob, this post is kind of like you magazine idea... you get to use other peoples stuff and get the credit for it!
You didn't credit ONE of those quotes to the originator!
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2008-05-06 11:33:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by X54 (user info) at 2008-05-06 11:24:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Great! Now that you've compiled all these witticisms, you can send them out in one of those chain emails everyone loves to get. Don't forget to include a link to Ubersite so recipients know where to go for more of the same. This may be the spark that ignites your Ubermagazine idea!
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2008-05-06 11:06:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You forgot all the times I threatend to eat people's skulls. :(
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2008-05-06 10:43:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2008-05-06 10:35:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
those are all horrible things to say to other humans. we should all be mindful of others feelings at all times.
also, this is the worst '-2's that deserve +2's' post i've ever seen. no credit given, no linkety dinks so we can all go thumb through the trainwrecks that inspired them. you're really a selfish man, rob. i hate you now.
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2008-05-06 10:27:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by indoninja (user info) at 2008-05-06 10:11:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I bet you are one of those people who trys to tell Dane Cook's jokes at parties to show people how witty you are.
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I loled at this. I'm not sure if it's accurate or not, but MAN it's funny when people try to pass off someone elses material as their own.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2008-05-06 10:17:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Thank you for believing in me Darko <3
Submitted by indoninja (user info) at 2008-05-06 10:11:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I bet you are one of those people who trys to tell Dane Cook's jokes at parties to show people how witty you are.
Submitted by GangsterSquid (user info) at 2008-05-06 10:08:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I imagine Shlongy is to thank for at least one of these.
Submitted by Linus (user info) at 2008-05-06 09:49:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Flowers, I've gotta try that.
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2008-05-06 09:37:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
"people"
which ones?
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2008-05-06 09:29:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I didn't pay much attention to the magazine thing, but I'm with Beano on crediting your sources.
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2008-05-06 09:18:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
If there were one thing in this world I'd think Sacrilicious was fairly decent at, it'd be giving me erections
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2008-05-06 09:16:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
If there were one thing in this world I'd think I was fairly decent at, it'd be insulting people on uber :(
Submitted by Beano312003 (user info) at 2008-05-06 09:08:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Hey Rob, this post is kind of like you magazine idea... you get to use other peoples stuff and get the credit for it!
You didn't credit ONE of those quotes to the originator!
Submitted by Toshi (user info) at 2008-05-06 08:40:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Hope you took a breath when reading that sentence Caulaincourt.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2008-05-06 08:37:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
alter bridge singer looks like a blonde jared leto singing nickelback-like boring rock.
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2008-05-06 08:32:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2008-05-06 08:04:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Comments like this keep me on uber
Submitted by Banjo (user info) at 2008-05-06 04:28:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
hahahahahahaha, why say fighting and nasty remarks are a waste of time when they are soooo entertaining!
The internet - a place where you can say all the things you want to say but never get a chance in real life less the men in white suits come and lock you up.
Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals (user info) at 2008-05-06 04:27:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
OK, but they're not my style.
None of their songs are about throwing Ds on a report card covered in Fs.
THAT is music.
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2008-05-06 04:23:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
meh
Submitted by Director (user info) at 2008-05-06 04:22:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Phallic. Dude. I was willing to forgive you for being a lawyer.
I was willing to forgive you for being a pompous ass.
Hell man, I was even willing to forving you for being Australian.
But you go too far, my little Ozzie friend. You go to far.
ALTER BRIDGE ARE TEH ROXERZ!1!1!
Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals (user info) at 2008-05-06 04:08:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Alter Bridge are abhorrent. This post, less so.
Submitted by Director (user info) at 2008-05-06 03:32:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You'll soon realize that you're an insignificant twat. You're but one tiny little speck in a sea of over six billion other little specks. One day, the life will inevitably leave your mortal coil and you will cease to be. Unless you do something worth remembering, you'll quickly be forgotten - an unwritten chapter in a book that you'll have never read. What tangible mark can you possibly leave in this realm if you sit at your keyboard and espouse wisdom that is so obviously beyond your understanding?
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Listen to Alter Bridge. OMFG DO THEY EVER ROXERZ!1!111!1!one!1!11
Submitted by Toshi (user info) at 2008-05-06 03:30:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Some of these are truly hilarious. Phallic couldn't of said any of them.
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2008-05-06 03:24:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
... and no - not all of them were directed at me.
: )