Hell Patrol (pt. 3) (154 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.6 on 5 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by X54 (View user info) at 2008-05-06 20:48:05 EDT
Pt. 1: (http://www.ubersite.com/m/116469) In which Major Winstead, an American military advisor in South America, observes unsettling behavior among the men of Captain Masmela's infantry company during a raid on a rebel position.
Pt. 2: (http://www.ubersite.com/m/116485) Flash back one day to Major Winstead's first meeting with Gail Gertrude, an observer from the pharmaceutical consortium working with the Pentagon to develop combat performance enhancing drugs. The men of Captain Masmela's company have been selected for a trial run.
Hell Patrol (pt. 3 of 5)
Major Winstead's hangover was finally subsiding when the choppers came in. Gertie sat next to him on the grassy airfield going over her equipment--working the slide on her pistol, inspecting her magazines, checking her medical kit and camera, testing the edge on her knife. She'd cut her hair right down to the scalp. With her large, hooked nose and skinny neck she looked, thought Winstead, like a giant, baby bird.
The choppers made two false landings as diversions before dropping the company off at dusk. The patrol stopped a few hundred meters from the landing zone and waited for darkness, then set out toward the objective.
The jungle was pitch black. The only light came from small rectangles of luminous tape sewed onto the back of each man's helmet, and from some kind of glowing vegetation growing here and there on the ground. The going was steep and slippery, but the men made good progress. Winstead noted with approval how quietly they moved. He also noticed Gertie had no trouble keeping up.
By 0100 they reached the river that marked the last checkpoint before the objective. The patrol halted and Winstead moved forward to ensure the river-crossing went smoothly. Masmela greeted him at the front of the column. "Do you see, Major, how well it goes?" he whispered.
Winstead agreed. "We're right on schedule." They waited while one man swam a rope across the fast-moving river. The current made the crossing tricky, but provided safety against piranhas. Once the rope was in place the rest of the patrol crossed. As each man waded into the black water the captain whispered a word or two of encouragement in Spanish.
It took another hour to reach the objective rally point; one last ridge stood between the patrol and the rebels.
Masmela gave orders for the men to take the activant.
User Reviews
Submitted by thecaes (user info) at 2008-05-07 10:18:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Holy short installment Batman
It was written fairly well, it's just a pacing and flow problem that I have with it -- the order of the posts and the shortness of this one. I didn't realize for a few lines whether or not I was reading an installment that took place after your first post, or before it. I think you're just breaking the story up too much.
Otherwise, not bad though.
Submitted by orph (user info) at 2008-05-07 08:45:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
this one should have been longer
Submitted by czwij (user info) at 2008-05-07 07:39:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
good
Submitted by joedaddy (user info) at 2008-05-07 01:58:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2008-05-07 00:01:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This is the only one I have read in the series - I'm terribly ADD.