Uberdirectory 2008 Camwhore (1113 hits)
Category: GraphicsRating: 1.6 on 72 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Berty (View user info) at 2008-05-07 04:41:48 EDT
So yes, that's me. I apologise for being an ugly, funny looking, deformed, caricature of a real person.
It is my crime, it is also my punishment.
User Reviews
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2008-07-08 15:33:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
*glares*
Submitted by Unabonger (user info) at 2008-05-19 05:48:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
waYO! I'm high again!
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2008-05-14 06:35:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by loopdeloo (user info) at 2008-05-13 14:12:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Plus, Berty has been in a short film. It had the worst mugging ever, and a duck.
Howard the duck?
-----------------------
No.
Let us never speak of this again.
Submitted by loopdeloo (user info) at 2008-05-13 14:12:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Plus, Berty has been in a short film. It had the worst mugging ever, and a duck.
Howard the duck?
Submitted by Toshi (user info) at 2008-05-12 05:59:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hangin out with Yoda were you?
Submitted by SunnyG (user info) at 2008-05-12 05:46:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
English boi!
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2008-05-07 15:02:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
He honestly is in a wheelchair
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2008-05-07 14:32:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i think this wheelchair business is a all just a bunch of malarkey.
Submitted by coley (user info) at 2008-05-07 13:48:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2008-05-07 13:06:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
they put lights on that bridge now
spoil all my fun
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2008-05-07 13:06:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Majestic!
many points
durham IS a shit hole.
this is not Really in durham, only the county off.
good photo
berty really is crippled, but there's no fucking way I'd put his wheelchair in my car, so obviously he had to be carried. What you can't see are two cunningly positioned toddlers holding onto his legs, holding Berty erect.
Submitted by DeathJester (user info) at 2008-05-07 13:05:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
It is unfortunate that your right hand is over your crotch, and there are clearly childrens' playthings in the background.
Plus, Berty has been in a short film. It had the worst mugging ever, and a duck.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2008-05-07 13:05:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by X54 (user info) at 2008-05-07 12:46:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Shit man, all that hair to hide your ears? What you really need is a beard.
-----------
If I did that I'd be a hairless guy with big ears and a ludicrous beard. In England we call people like that 'northerners'.
Submitted by X54 (user info) at 2008-05-07 12:46:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Shit man, all that hair to hide your ears? What you really need is a beard.
Submitted by SPECIALk (user info) at 2008-05-07 12:32:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Berty's black..pass it on.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2008-05-07 12:12:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Stop having your friend hold you up and get back in your wheelchair.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2008-05-07 12:10:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
okay
Submitted by BeforeEmily (user info) at 2008-05-07 11:21:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Haute.
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2008-05-07 10:58:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
<3
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2008-05-07 10:41:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Jesus Drogo, I'm in a wheelchair not starring as the genie in Aladdin on Ice. Why would I need a harness?
Submitted by shadow (user info) at 2008-05-07 10:40:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
haha @ CaptainT,
Ethiopian...
Submitted by DrogoRoch (user info) at 2008-05-07 10:21:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You mean they carried you into a pub? and then propped you up like some toy against a table? That is gold!
Did they have a front harness for you or was it a back one?
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2008-05-07 10:17:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Touche
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2008-05-07 10:14:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2008-05-07 10:04:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2008-05-07 06:52:07 CDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2008-05-07 07:28:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
wheres your wheelchair, Cripple McCripsAlot?
--------------
Well this photo was taken when I visited Redskies and Inion in Durham. Now this pub was Red's local, just down the road and up a hill, but we decided that rather than mess about with the chair with all the steps and everything that they'd just bundle me into the car and carry me into the pub.
Apparently carrying someone into a pub rather than out of it was too much of a novelty for Jake to overlook.
Anyway, this is a picture of me looking silly having been propped up against a table in the beer garden. It was last year sometime and I think I was making some daft joke about being able bodied.
======================
Oh come off it now, we all know you're a world-class Olympic athlete with the body of an Ethiopian god. :)
--------------------------
In fairness Amun-Ra is often pictured seated, perhaps he was mobility challenged as well!
Submitted by GangsterSquid (user info) at 2008-05-07 10:13:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I love the homeless guy jacket.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2008-05-07 10:04:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2008-05-07 06:52:07 CDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2008-05-07 07:28:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
wheres your wheelchair, Cripple McCripsAlot?
--------------
Well this photo was taken when I visited Redskies and Inion in Durham. Now this pub was Red's local, just down the road and up a hill, but we decided that rather than mess about with the chair with all the steps and everything that they'd just bundle me into the car and carry me into the pub.
Apparently carrying someone into a pub rather than out of it was too much of a novelty for Jake to overlook.
Anyway, this is a picture of me looking silly having been propped up against a table in the beer garden. It was last year sometime and I think I was making some daft joke about being able bodied.
======================
Oh come off it now, we all know you're a world-class Olympic athlete with the body of an Ethiopian god. :)
Submitted by DrogoRoch (user info) at 2008-05-07 09:58:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Is it explained below why you are standing up? Only I thought you said you were in a chair and I cant be bothered to read the reviews.
Submitted by shadow (user info) at 2008-05-07 09:52:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Aww. You're kinda cute in that "poetic artfag movies done in black&white" sort of way.
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2008-05-07 09:44:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
quite the heroic angle
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2008-05-07 09:18:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
There are like three bridges spanning the river, and two of them connect to the University campus (unless I'm mistaken). I can't remember which one's which but I wouldn't worry. As long as you're not a paralytically drunk girl you'll probably be okay.
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2008-05-07 09:12:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
seenit.
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-05-07 09:05:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
...But good if you're a rapist?
Where is this bridge, exactly?
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2008-05-07 08:55:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2008-05-07 08:13:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I cannot stress enough how shit Durham is. You will be bored to tears.
-----------------------
Hurty has never before been more right. I have several friends who went to University there and they had nothing good to say about the place. It's cold, hilly, dull and violent.
There is a bridge that the student body nicknamed 'the evil bridge' because it was poorly lit and suffered a huge number of attacks and rapes on students. The bridge was owned by the church and they refused to improve the lighting as it would "spoil the aesthetic.
That's the kind of place Durham is: a shithole under a thin veneer of austerity.
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2008-05-07 08:51:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2008-05-07 08:27:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
if i whisper can you hear me?
hahhahaha
i too once sported long beautiful flowing hair. since then I've tried growing it back but i lack the patience to get past the holy shit what the fuck do i do wiht it now phase.
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2008-05-07 08:27:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
if i whisper can you hear me?
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2008-05-07 08:22:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
http://www.swedishgirl.se/swedish_girls_vs_british_nightclubs/UK/british_nightclubs_01.jpg
==========
I wouldn't touch that with yours.
Submitted by czwij (user info) at 2008-05-07 08:18:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
baying harridans?
so what? as long as they have warm skin.
breathing is optional.
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2008-05-07 08:13:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I cannot stress enough how shit Durham is. You will be bored to tears.
Some Geordie lasses sound good, some sound like baying harridans, and that is usually what they are.
Anyway, I know some excellent pubs in Newcastle, e-mail me if you want a list as this is top secret information.
andylreid.at.gmail.com
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-05-07 08:09:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I am going for a night out in Newcastle but staying at my mate's in Durham. I went to visit him a few years ago, seemed a nice wee town.
Geordie accents on girls are sexy, too.
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2008-05-07 08:06:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Durham is a shite hole full of posh cunts and over priced beer. Newcastle is much better.
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-05-07 08:03:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Durham? I am going there soon.
Any recommendations?
Submitted by czwij (user info) at 2008-05-07 08:02:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i could care less if you were green or blew, really.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2008-05-07 08:01:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by czwij (user info) at 2008-05-07 07:57:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
well.....
------------------
*with a twinkle in his eye*
Am I, czwij? Am I?
Submitted by czwij (user info) at 2008-05-07 07:57:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
well.....
at least you are white.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2008-05-07 07:52:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2008-05-07 07:28:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
wheres your wheelchair, Cripple McCripsAlot?
--------------
Well this photo was taken when I visited Redskies and Inion in Durham. Now this pub was Red's local, just down the road and up a hill, but we decided that rather than mess about with the chair with all the steps and everything that they'd just bundle me into the car and carry me into the pub.
Apparently carrying someone into a pub rather than out of it was too much of a novelty for Jake to overlook.
Anyway, this is a picture of me looking silly having been propped up against a table in the beer garden. It was last year sometime and I think I was making some daft joke about being able bodied.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2008-05-07 07:28:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
wheres your wheelchair, Cripple McCripsAlot?
Submitted by Unabonger (user info) at 2008-05-07 07:01:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
nice...coke in England...no wonder you people have bad teeth.
I'm kidding...
but I'm not.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2008-05-07 06:57:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
England is the land of late nights and cocaine, Una. We never sleep, but we sure do rub our faces a lot.
Submitted by Unabonger (user info) at 2008-05-07 06:51:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
wtf are you people doing up at this hour? it's fucking 4 on the west coast!!
Submitted by orph (user info) at 2008-05-07 06:45:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
A sterling example of modern English manhood.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2008-05-07 06:40:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I can assure you that this is Redskies local and I was the youngest person there.
Actually it's funny you should mention children. The other day I was in the supermarket buying a box of cereal (Berty is poor), and this kid kept rubbing up against my leg. It was proper, proper, creepy. I reckon it's like that woman who trained her son to suck her nips. I didn't say anything though because I am a coward.
WOMEN, I AM AVAILABLE!
Submitted by Unabonger (user info) at 2008-05-07 06:36:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I think the most enjoyable experiences I had with long hair was getting sick and having to comb dried barf out of it in the morning.
great fun.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2008-05-07 06:34:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I had no idea you were a kiddietoucher, Berty. I really like this photo.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2008-05-07 06:33:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
That link doesn't seem to work.
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2008-05-07 05:58:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
http://images.allmoviephoto.com/2002_Reign_of_Fire/2002_reign_of_fire_010.jpg
If you didn't like it, why did you steal the jacket?
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2008-05-07 05:56:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Wasn't that the thing with the dragons? That was a terrible film.
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2008-05-07 05:44:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Were you in 'Reign of Fire'?
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2008-05-07 05:43:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Unabonger, you could wear a wig.
Also drugs won't make your hair frizzy. I'm sure that if you buy some oils, lotions and potions to treat your mop you can, once again, have beautiful hair that blows in your eyes when your driving and dips into your beer when you're drunk.
Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals (user info) at 2008-05-07 05:42:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Let me rephrase that. You sound as jaded as someone that is 50 years old.
The emoticon was an experiment in emoticons. I have no idea what it means.
:-&
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2008-05-07 05:42:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Love to Berty
Submitted by Unabonger (user info) at 2008-05-07 05:41:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I had beautiful, long hair in high school...it grew out before i got into poisoning my body for fun. When I cut it all off, I thought I'd never grow it back...I saved so much money on shampoo.
When I was 24 I decided to grow it out again...years of tobacco and drug use made my beautiful blond hair frizzy, inflated and ugly.
I hate having short hair. Someone needs to invent some shit so I can wake up in the morning and decide to have long hair for the day.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2008-05-07 05:36:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Also why do people keep going "oh, I thought you were some haggard, over the hill, eleventy year old mess" when I tell them how old I am?
I am a young, vulnerable, member of society who needs your money and your women.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2008-05-07 05:30:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals (user info) at 2008-05-07 05:20:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I thought you were over 50.
:k
----------------
I originally thought that you were a hot bird who was scared of the world. Life is full of dissapointments.
What is with that emoticon? Is it some manner of Navarro "he speaks with forked tounge" thing?
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2008-05-07 05:22:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
If I were to ever cut my hair then my ears would no longer be covered from casual glances.
I mean that'd be it then, really the end. I'd have to, perhaps even be forced to, live in some dank place out in the woods. Money on benefit to shop at Liddle using plastic bags I've gathered up from bushes in the park. No job of course; unemployable after that teenager in a school blazer cut my face up like a jigsaw on the bus. Cold all the time, cold and scared. Sitting in that draughty shack out in the woods with my arms wrapped around my shoulders and knees.
*shudder*
So no, I'm not going to cut my hair.
Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals (user info) at 2008-05-07 05:20:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I thought you were over 50.
:k
Submitted by Unabonger (user info) at 2008-05-07 05:08:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
you should never cut your hair, it's great...course I'm drunk, high and rolling...
Submitted by pen_name (user info) at 2008-05-07 05:05:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GzMM9kfU8-Q
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-05-07 04:51:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
So I'm not the only one that hangs about near the playground...
Neat.
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2008-05-07 04:50:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2008-05-07 04:47:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
You shouldn't apologize.
But yeah - yer weird lookin'.
Hippy.
Submitted by Beano312003 (user info) at 2008-05-07 04:44:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hi Berty, that's your facebook picture I do believe.
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2008-05-07 04:44:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment