A new day to celebrate (772 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.73 on 28 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by drogoroch (View user info) at 2008-05-07 07:35:57 EDT
Due to nice weather and having a life which involves meeting friends and family and having fun, I have found myself behind with current TV programmes. Bearing that in mind I watched last weeks episode of 'You're a cunt so you're fired' otherwise known as the Apprentice or something, yesterday when I felt a wee bit poorly. Sir Alan having a laugh at the expense of 16 wannabe millionaires. Ah viewing at its finest, considering the alternative is soaps that seem to think that they have a meaningful message to pump out.
So by the amazing powers of catch up TV, or voodoo magic, I was able to watch an episode that was aired last Wednesday, yesterday! It was amazing I can tell you. I mean who would have thought it when I was born that one day we would be able to catch up on all the crap programmes that you had missed? Yippee!
Last night, week, they had to come up with an original idea for a greeting card and occasion. The brilliant people came up with two ideas. The first being Singles Day, a day to celebrate being single, how sweet. They didn't really think about who was going to send the cards to the single person but that is by the by I guess, they are much more intelligent than the average Joe or Joe'ess on the street after all. The wonder came when they decided that the day would be the 13th of February, yes you heard right the day before valentines day, the day created by high street card sellers and florists to bugger men in the arse. Clever!
The second idea was my personal favourite. Environmental week cards. Yes what a great plan that sounds like. Any budding environmentalist can purchase a card, recycled toilet paper of course, and send a patronising message to people to make them 'Aware' of the problems we are facing; as if they could miss the amount of environmental shite we get force fed everyday. How very noble of them. Sadly they seem to have missed the point due to fact that sending these cards would produce more unnecessary waste. Strange that they didn't see that coming seeing as they are so smart and all.
The idea of creating a new day for card companies to cash in on did get my mind a wondering though. What if we could come up with an idea? What if we could create a completely new day for people to get ripped off for? It would be great fun. So I got out my crayolas and a scabby piece of paper and started scribbling.
And I think I have it. A day for everyone. A day for cards and presents and an excuse for a piss up.
'Call them a Cunt day.' 7th May every year.
Due to my extensive market research, outside asking the smokers which is more than the intelligent twats did, I have decided that this is a day that would be amazingly popular.
Basically the idea is this. On the 7th of May every year you send out loads of cards to people who you believe deserve to be called a Cunt, actually you may want to buy and send them earlier just so that they arrive in time for the 7th of May. Now I bet your mind has just thrown up at least 2 or 3 names of people who would benefit from such a card, you may have just scrolled up to look at my username to make sure you spelt it right.
You could have such fun with this. As with the anonymous Valentines Day card you would sit excitedly at your desk on the 7th of May waiting for the post to arrive to see how effective you had been. 'Who thinks I'm a Cunt this year I wonder?' You could have competitions with your mates to see who could get the most cards.
You could buy 'Off the shelf' cards or manufacture them yourself including your very own messages to insult someone.
'Roses are Red
Violets are blue
You're a real Cunt
And you smell of Poo Too!' Ahh so sweet.
'Surprise! You're a Cunt!' Everyone likes being surprised.
'I've met my fair share of Cunts but you are the first one I have actually wanted to bury my fist in.'
Every year 540,000 Cunts die, here's hoping that this is your Year!' Encouragement is always good.
Now I think this day could really take off but we need people to get 'Involved' so as to get the message out there. Our governments won't like it, as they know that their mail boxes will be overflowing with lovely messages but we mustn't let that stop us. Sign the petition and get 'Call them a Cunt Day' recognised.
Remember everyone who gets in your way is a Cunt!
User Reviews
Submitted by Replen (user info) at 2008-05-11 16:23:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
quality idea, although cunt then may become too popularised and we're going to need a new, more offensive word for me to describe my ex-girlfriend.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2008-05-07 16:29:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm greatly offended by your terminology.
Submitted by Darth_Famine (user info) at 2008-05-07 13:56:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
the pic got me, my coworkers now think that I am a cunt because I can't stop laughing
Submitted by Lib (user info) at 2008-05-07 12:33:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Yozz (user info) at 2008-05-07 10:08:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Jesus - May 7th every year at Orphelia's house is going to look like that courtroom scene from "Miracle on 34th Street".
Submitted by DrogoRoch (user info) at 2008-05-07 09:49:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2008-05-07 09:46:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
you're right as usual!
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Naturally.
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2008-05-07 09:46:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
you're right as usual!
Submitted by DrogoRoch (user info) at 2008-05-07 09:39:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm thinking the first one HotWillie, it seems to say it all.
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2008-05-07 09:38:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
roses are red
this post of yours blew
if that makes me a cunt
well what else is new
or
roses are red
cunts are light pink
one of 'em smells
and one of 'em stinks
your choice mate!
Submitted by DrogoRoch (user info) at 2008-05-07 09:34:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Then I would agree Beano! He definately gets a Card
Submitted by Beano312003 (user info) at 2008-05-07 09:32:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by DrogoRoch (user info) at 2008-05-07 09:13:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Beano- Was that the military guy?
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Yeah, Simon.
Submitted by beeltea (user info) at 2008-05-07 09:30:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
this is a great idea
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2008-05-07 09:22:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'd vote for that as a global holiday, with some regional variances of course.
Submitted by DrogoRoch (user info) at 2008-05-07 09:13:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Beano- Was that the military guy?
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2008-05-07 08:50:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
If Uber has had any effect on me, it is this: Every day, I have to refrain from using "cunt" as a term of endearment when addressing my wife and child.
"Hi. What have you c- ... *guys* been doing today?"
Submitted by Beano312003 (user info) at 2008-05-07 08:44:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I went to school with a fella off this years show...he was thrown off after week 4 (i think).
Was a loser then, is a loser now.
This taught me one thing.
NOTHING EVER CHANGES.
EVER.
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2008-05-07 08:39:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by czwij (user info) at 2008-05-07 08:11:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
so cunt is only used on special occasions then.
so merry xmas you cunt could be construed as correct.
in turn, you calling someone a cunt, makes them special indeed.
"i love ya, ya big cunt" would be the highlight of emotion coming from little monster.
___________
My God...Someone got it! I'M ONLY BEING AFFECTIONATE YOU BASTARD!
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2008-05-07 08:36:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by DrogoRoch (user info) at 2008-05-07 08:32:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I always try to keep cunt for special occasions. It normally is just for the fact that cunt is involved.
Hurty it aint your word so I'm using it! pffft
Submitted by czwij (user info) at 2008-05-07 08:11:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
so cunt is only used on special occasions then.
so merry xmas you cunt could be construed as correct.
in turn, you calling someone a cunt, makes them special indeed.
"i love ya, ya big cunt" would be the highlight of emotion coming from little monster.
wow. english is rather confusing.
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2008-05-07 08:07:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by czwij (user info) at 2008-05-07 08:04:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2008-05-07 07:42:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm not playing unless it becomes a national holiday. I need at least ten beers (or to be so pissed off that my brainand mouth disconnect) before Iwill call anyone a cunt.
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how bout silly twat, then?
or how many beers need to utter silly twat?
___________
None at all. I swear like a trooper apart from cunt. I save that for very special occasions.
Submitted by czwij (user info) at 2008-05-07 08:04:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2008-05-07 07:42:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm not playing unless it becomes a national holiday. I need at least ten beers (or to be so pissed off that my brainand mouth disconnect) before Iwill call anyone a cunt.
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how bout silly twat, then?
or how many beers need to utter silly twat?
Submitted by czwij (user info) at 2008-05-07 07:53:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
this will confuse many with my
"you're and asshole. merry christmas."
cards that i send out.
i am sorry,i cannot support this as it will confuse too many that i have lost it wishing them a merry xmas in May.
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2008-05-07 07:51:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Wow. Did they really come up with an 'Environmental Day'? Surely they found out it already existed?
And in any case, for me at least, a day without cunt is a day without sunshine. I don't want to see my favourite insult popularised by anyone other than Irvine Welsh. Possibly Johnny Vegas or Dylan Moran.
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2008-05-07 07:42:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm not playing unless it becomes a national holiday. I need at least ten beers (or to be so pissed off that my brainand mouth disconnect) before Iwill call anyone a cunt.
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-05-07 07:38:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I like the sound of this.
You cunt.
Submitted by orph (user info) at 2008-05-07 07:38:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
my list is quite long
Submitted by DrogoRoch (user info) at 2008-05-07 07:37:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Damn! This post needs more Cunt.