TrUberSex 08: R1 (1159 hits)
Category: RomanceRating: 1.76 on 58 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Sacrilicious (View user info) at 2008-05-14 15:42:32 EDT
When I was 15 years old, I had my first real boyfriend. He was hot and a year older than me, and soon we were totally in love, like forever!! as teenagers are wont to be.
We were just beginning to discover each other's bodies, so we of course would find any excuse to be alone. He was fairly experienced for a 16 year old, having done the deed with a few girls (sluts, of course) before he dated me. I however, being the virginal flower that I was, was nowhere near ready to OMG do it in the true sense.
He told me he loved me and he'd wait as long as he needed until I was ready. I fell hopelessly more infatuated with him for this, and terribly conflicted over my moral code at the time. I was raised a good Catholic girl, after all.
So I did the obvious, and decided on a compromise- I'd learn really fast how to give amazing head, and we'd have a glorious sexual relationship based on oral sex. He didn't know at the time that this would also be a first for me, so I was really taking my chances here. Apparently, I was a quick learner and he seemed pretty happy with my solution..but I wasn't quite ready to let him reciprocate.
One night, we were parked in his car just across a small wooded area near my house. Since most of our time together was at each others' houses with vigilant parents around, even our best moments up until then still involved clothes. So what had been mostly innocent teen foreplay up until that point (as far as my half was concerned), became much more intense- and within minutes we were naked in the backseat, and I spontaneously decided it was time to let him return the favor.
We were so hot at that point that neither of us noticed the police officer until he was knocking on the window and pointing his flashlight toward us. Startled, my boyfriend came up and we stared into the glaring eyes of the law.
I was 15 years old, naked, and was not supposed to be alone in cars with boys. All I could do was pull his body down on top of me, bare-assed and all, to hide my own body from the cop. Fortunately once he saw the look of embarrassment on my face and was certain I was not there against my will, he just got in his car and left. No questions or anything.
And that was the night of two firsts of many for Sacrilicious. Since then, I've become quite skilled at allowing someone to satisfy me orally, and also deftly avoiding getting into any real trouble with the cops, no matter how bad the situation might look at first.
User Reviews
Submitted by simple_catalyst (user info) at 2008-06-04 10:48:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2008-05-16 06:46:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2008-05-14 18:43:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
When I was 15 years old, I had my last real boyfriend. He was fat and twenty years older than me, and soon we were totally in love, like forever!! as paedophiles are wont to be.
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I hardly think fucking a 15 year old qualifies someone for pedophile status.
I mean to say, imagine you're there in your pedo ring, swapping pictures and eating scones or whatever. Daryl is there showing off pictures of the 9 year old he cornered in the supermarket toilets whilst his mum was taking a dump and Peter has a photo of two six year olds being bathed that he took with his distance lens. Then you pull out a fistful of polaroids of a 15 year old sucking your willy and wearing your pajamas.
You'd be laughed into the street.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2008-05-16 03:00:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
works for me...
Submitted by Falafel (user info) at 2008-05-15 22:29:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2008-05-14 21:53:51 BST (#)
Ranking: 2
Bald bajiners suck.
===========
You choke on that lie!!!
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2008-05-15 14:50:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I think i called it right away that you'd win. congrats! funny stuff.
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2008-05-15 11:59:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Busted by the troopers. Classic.
This reminds me that my stepson is 15 now and his girlfriend lives down the street. My husband and I just bought one of those wooden frame futons for our sunroom.
The boy informed us that these futons open and can be used as a bed. He must've thought we:
1. needed to know this info
2. didn't know this already
3. weren't aware that he is sexually active
4. were born yesterday
Apparently his girl has one in her cellar.
This really brought me back. I can remember the day I gave my very first blowjob. Memories....
Thanks Sac.
Submitted by Ltap (user info) at 2008-05-15 11:06:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
So I did the obvious, and decided on a compromise- I'd learn really fast how to give amazing head, and we'd have a glorious sexual relationship based on oral sex.
-----------------------
A lot of technically virginal Catholic girls do the same, not surprisingly.
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2008-05-15 09:33:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2008-05-14 17:48:37 CDT (#)
Ranking: 0
FG- I have a morbid curiosity to hear that song now.
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Oh you do, do you?
I had to look around quite a bit, but I found it. And I did it just for you, so now you must love me forever and ever and ever.
Also, I am not responsible for any suicides or homicides resulting from listening to this song.
Listen at your own risk.
http://www.normalbobsmith.com/nobsradio/wp-content/uploads/2008/04/there_comes_a_smile.mp3
Jesus
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2008-05-15 09:20:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by lostnphound (user info) at 2008-05-15 08:08:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Charlton_H (user info) at 2008-05-15 05:08:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
JESUS LOVES THE LITTLE CHILDREN OF THE CORN
Submitted by czwij (user info) at 2008-05-15 04:16:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
cops
back seats
first of many....
hmm
so, what are your rates?
things make much more sense now that i have completed my speed reading course
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2008-05-15 04:15:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
What is it about police and snooping on people having sex in cars?
Also this story is hott.
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-05-15 03:57:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Loved the italics
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2008-05-15 00:26:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
How do you do that? Do you just keep typing *lick*?
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2008-05-15 00:05:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
http://gabbly.com/http://www.ubersite.com/
I want to give you e-head
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2008-05-14 21:32:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Risque!
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2008-05-14 21:04:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I have a similar story but the cop was played by the chick's crazy father.
Submitted by JMG114 (user info) at 2008-05-14 20:45:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No comment.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-05-14 19:18:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Oops. I spelled oops wrong. I'm semi-crocked and by myself this evening.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-05-14 19:18:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Opps. I thought you were the other 7 posts that I'm exchanging insults in.
I'm winning in all of them.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-05-14 19:17:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Than you better march on down to the ballpark and blow Ryan Howard because he's shitting the bed.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2008-05-14 19:14:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Hey, don't blame me, I'm a Phillies fan!
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-05-14 19:01:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Fuck the Sox. I'm hoping the Rays win the division and everyone involved with the other 4 shitbag teams in the East gets fired.
Go A's.
PS. Email me a picture of your hole.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2008-05-14 18:48:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm sorry to hear that, Apollo. I'm sure things will turn around for you someday:(
FG- I have a morbid curiosity to hear that song now.
I scanned the comments and it sounds like everyone is doing Sox posts for each other and sending me videos and candy. Sweet.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2008-05-14 18:43:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
When I was 15 years old, I had my last real boyfriend. He was fat and twenty years older than me, and soon we were totally in love, like forever!! as paedophiles are wont to be.
Submitted by Fungah (user info) at 2008-05-14 18:40:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2008-05-14 16:46:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
so you'll organize the entire uber directory, but won't do a simple red sox tribute post for me (and orgasmatron) ?
bearfucker
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2008-05-14 16:45:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
so you'll contribute a post to this lame ass contest, but won't cough up a simple fucking pic for me?
i see how it is
---------
So, you'll send me videos depicting you doing the filthiest shit imaginable in a red sox jersey, but you won't even buy me flowers on my birthday?
I see how it is.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-05-14 18:28:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
OK...this got me semi-erect. Then again, I have a 6 o'clock golf buzz going.
Submitted by peckerhead (user info) at 2008-05-14 18:02:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Holy F Cow do I need practice typing.
... discretion...
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2008-05-14 17:54:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i enjoyed this.
i want to write one of these but my most embarrassing/awkward sex story involves me saying "you fed me too much tequila, i'm stopping."
Submitted by peckerhead (user info) at 2008-05-14 17:49:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Good story and well told.
+2 for police officers who use this kind of disctetion from time to time. The town I grew up in had a number of these cops.
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2008-05-14 17:44:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
i'm back to a -2 because the queers have moved in, totally ruining the entire post and its heterosexual nature
sorry but my decision is final
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2008-05-14 17:15:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Spare me your sugar-laced lies, Fib Imp. You can't dip a turd in sugar and call it a candy bar.
I mean you CAN -- Baby Ruth has been doing it for years - but that's neither here nor there.
Doubling the situation back on itself like a college student trying to blow himself will not distract the public from your obvious inability to keep to your word. You can fool the normals, but you're not fooling (around with) me (anymore).
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2008-05-14 17:10:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2008-05-14 16:58:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
scourge the bearfucker is the father of false promises. He shits blood lies and burps a contagion of half-truths and broken words. Perjurers and false witnesses do not suffer the fires of hell. Rather, they tongue the asshole of the Prince of Bullshit, His Holy Lord Bearfuck XXVIII.
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if that wasn't so loaded down with your obvious lust for me it would be hurtful.
also, i have broken NO promise. i promised Bosh i'd +2 molest his account and i followed through. we just never set a specific timeline. this sort of structure is necessary in an agreement between a gentleman and two redsox fans.
Submitted by matnotharry (user info) at 2008-05-14 17:08:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2008-05-14 21:53:51 BST (#)
Ranking: 2
Bald bajiners suck.
---
Stick to adults
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2008-05-14 17:01:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2008-05-14 16:58:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
scourge the bearfucker is the father of false promises. He shits blood lies and burps a contagion of half-truths and broken words. Perjurers and false witnesses do not suffer the fires of hell. Rather, they tongue the asshole of the Prince of Bullshit, His Holy Lord Bearfuck XXVIII.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2008-05-14 16:55:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i'll make the same deal with you i did with him:
you write it and i'll post it along with a stamp of approval.
or, option two, be patient and i'll get around to it eventually.
i'm thinking sometime in october.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2008-05-14 16:53:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Bald bajiners suck.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2008-05-14 16:53:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Agreed, Boshman. Bearfucker indeed.
Yes, I'd
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2008-05-14 16:46:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
so you'll organize the entire uber directory, but won't do a simple red sox tribute post for me (and orgasmatron) ?
bearfucker
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2008-05-14 16:45:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
so you'll contribute a post to this lame ass contest, but won't cough up a simple fucking pic for me?
i see how it is
Submitted by Lib (user info) at 2008-05-14 16:40:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Kracka (user info) at 2008-05-14 16:35:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
OOH OOOH *raising hand*
i have a video camera
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2008-05-14 16:32:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
haha, awww how sweet.
nostalgic memories </3
Submitted by Fungah (user info) at 2008-05-14 16:09:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Awwwww
;)
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2008-05-14 16:02:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Jesus Sac
I know someone who has that record by Jim and Tammy. The first, last, and only time I heard the title song 'Oops, there goes a smile,' I wanted to commit suicide.
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2008-05-14 16:01:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i'm metaphorically lifting your face from my lap to check your pupils
Submitted by shadow (user info) at 2008-05-14 15:49:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
A group of drug dealers...came across me and my teenage other
=========
sounds messy and exciting
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2008-05-14 15:56:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Me too. Have a video camera?
Shadow- the library? But that's a good kid's turf..you'd think dealers would understand that.
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2008-05-14 15:53:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
i mean...
not really i just like watching you go down
you know, like in the story!
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2008-05-14 15:52:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
i mean offended
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2008-05-14 15:52:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2008-05-14 15:44:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Like Brdn, I've told this story on Uber before. But it fits the comp.
===================
wait a second this was cannibalized?
i am offensive!
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2008-05-14 15:50:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I have no idea why you included that picture, but it was a great story!
Submitted by shadow (user info) at 2008-05-14 15:49:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
oh dear.
A group of drug dealers who worked out of the parking lot in the local library (why?) came across me and my teenage other in the old Jeep WAY back in the day.
We climbed very quickly into the front seat and sped off into the night half-naked. They chased the Jeep right out of the parking lot onto the street.
Hilarious.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2008-05-14 15:47:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2008-05-14 15:44:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Like Brdn, I've told this story on Uber before. But it fits the comp.
http://www.ubersite.com/m/116667
Submitted by Beano312003 (user info) at 2008-05-14 15:43:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Apparently, I was a quick learner and he seemed pretty happy with my solution
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No shit Sherlock!
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2008-05-14 15:43:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
do you still have the outfit because perhaps i've been too rough on you