TruberSex: It hasn't improved all that much. (1176 hits)
Category: RomanceRating: 1.75 on 45 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by drogoroch (View user info) at 2008-05-15 05:02:03 EDT
In the mind of the 16 year old Drogo he was a sex god of mammoth proportions. Every night he would while away a few precious seconds to have some sexy time with the glossy ladies popular at the time, ah Club magazine so wipeable.
In the Easter Holidays of 1993 Drogo was hornier than a dog on heat and no amount of dry humping furniture or whacking one off the wrist was doing the job. Drogo had met a girl a few days previously and rumour had it that she was easier to lay than a fitted bed sheet, a task Drogo had never been all that good at but a challenge is a challenge.
Through much cajoling Drogo managed to convince Sarah that a camping trip into the woods would be fun and a good way to spend some time together. With bags packed they set off to a spot Drogo knew about, a nice clearing in the middle.
Drogo knew it was time to deal with his tent, the excitement had got the better of him, so he quickly forced back his dirty thoughts and set forth to deal with erection. Taking out his shiny poles he ensured that they were extended perfectly checking them to make sure they had locked in place and were firm enough. He then gently slipped them into their sheaths, so as to make sure he didn't rip the material. Pegging followed and soon he was able to stand back and bask in the glory of his tent making ability. During this time Sarah had kept he lips wrapped around the hole of the inflatable mattress, blowing for all she was worth.
With the site set up an uncomfortable silence descended on the duo, what to do now? Drogo had planned most things, food, tent, site, condoms, firelighters, marshmallows, more condoms (seriously over inflated view of his ability?) and of course booze, sadly the young Drogo hadn't actually thought about how to broach the subject of getting her to 'open up' so to speak.
He looked at her, she looked at him. He smiled, she smiled back. A thought came to him and he reached into his sack and produced a couple of beers. He handed her one and she smiled again. This was going well. Suddenly her sweet voice said:
"So what should we do now?"
Drogo's simple mind went into panic. He knew what he wanted to do, he knew what his body yearned to do, but he didn't know how to make it sound okay without it being ....
"I guess we could fuck."
Silence followed. A tumble weed that had no place in the middle of a clearing in a wood in Oxfordshire, decided that it would be a good time to race his mate to the other side.
"I.....ummm....I think that came out wrong." Drogo stammered.
Sarah stood open mouthed looking at the walking hormone she had decided to go camping with in horror.
"Ummm? Are you hungry? I could get a fire going. Yeah a fire will be good."
She remained with her mouth open. Drogo quickly repelled the thought that she was standing like that because she wanted to start off with a blow job, the look in her eyes screamed at him as if to say putting his knob in her mouth at this time wouldn't really be a very good thing for future reproduction chances.
"I can't believe you just said that you bastard."
"Yes I'm sorry; I didn't really mean it to come out in such a blunt way. I really am sorry. Here I'll get some food on."
Drogo sorted out a fire whilst she sat on an old stump sipping her beer. Drogo then got some food on, burgers and sausages and warmed some rolls. They then ate in silence. Drogo sat there and visibly slumped as his virginity sat beside him laughing and waving two fingers in his face, the bastard even whispered:
'I'm going to be with you until you're 30 you loser, hahahaha'
With food complete and still nothing said they sat there and had a few more beers.
"I think I will go to bed." And Sarah stood up and disappeared into the tent.
Drogo sat outside in the cold wondering what the hell he was going to do now. Did he go into the tent as well? His virginity was sitting there beside him laughing and whispered:
'Scrub what I said before. I'm going to be here until you die, which won't be long judging by the weather out here.'
And then salvation.
"You can come in you know, you must be freezing out there."
Drogo jumped up, in more ways than one. Strange that despite the knowledge that you are a complete div certain parts of the anatomy still think that they are in with a shout.
He crawled into the tent and managed to put a foot in her face. She laughed as he struggled out of his shoes. He then attempted to get in his sleeping bag when she said:
"You better take off your clothes you idiot, and get in here with me it will be warmer."
Virginity sneered at the entrance to the tent:
'You're still not going to get any Loser Boy.'
Drogo slipped into the sleeping bag next to Sarah and for the first time in his life he felt the closeness of a female form other than his mothers or sisters. The inevitable happened and the young Drogo found himself rather aroused.
"I.....i......I'm sorry."
"Shut up." She leant over him and kissed him on the lips. She was still wearing her underwear and the feel of it on his skin gave him another jolt. Her hands ran down his body and caressed him.
Drogo was in a state of disbelief. Virginity looked in from the doorway and said:
'Well fuck me.'
The sex was shitter than you could imagine. Drogo had read up about what was supposed to happen, he had studied the videos to see what to do. He knew that it started with a blow Job, followed by a few rubs and a wee lick and that by 10 minutes in she was supposed to be on her knees with him ploughing her from behind. He also knew that she was supposed to be moaning like a banshee.
The reality is embarrassing to think about.
As soon as she had touched him he had been overcome with excitement. He whipped off his pants (Underpants). With that done he rolled onto his side and gave her tits a squeeze. He then fumbled with her knickers until they were off, he tried the bra but saw that as far too much to deal with. He placed a hand on her fanny and after a few rather rough rubs he decided it was time. With condom on, eventually, he had himself ready at the gate.
In he went, she did moan but in retrospect it was no doubts due to the thorough lack of preparation he had given her.
In no less, or more, than 3 strokes Drogo was done.
Virginity laughed from the door:
'Oh you the man. Before disappearing from Drogos life forever.
"Wow I kind of expected that to be better." Panted Drogo.
"You're telling me?" Came the tired voice of Sarah.
User Reviews
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2008-11-14 15:04:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by no1hasdis (user info) at 2008-11-14 14:46:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
How did I miss this gem?
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2008-11-14 14:46:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
drogoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
happy birthday you sexy beast
Submitted by sage104 (user info) at 2008-11-14 14:38:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Fuckin' Scorpios.
Happy birthday, even though I dont know you.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2008-11-14 14:23:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
happy birthday virgin
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-11-14 12:12:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!
Submitted by The_Drake (user info) at 2008-05-30 09:38:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I forgot to rate this.
And I'm in a really fucking good mood!
Submitted by JustAnotherStudent (user info) at 2008-05-17 09:41:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
The voice of virginity was beautiful.
I feel a bit sorry for teenaged boys. All that buildup, just to result in... that.
Please tell me you gave her something better later that night?
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-05-16 06:33:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Littlebint (user info) at 2008-05-16 03:48:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2008-05-16 03:41:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
So apparently LittleBint = Drogo. Nice.
--
What? I didnt understand the insult from hotwillie is all. It was a bit high brow for me this morning I think.
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2008-05-16 03:41:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
So apparently LittleBint = Drogo. Nice.
Submitted by Littlebint (user info) at 2008-05-16 03:36:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2008-05-15 14:39:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
wake me when it's over, i thought in the middle of drogo's latest, chuckling myself to sleep as i realized that exact phrase is not entirely unfamiliar to the author himself
--
You will have to explain that a bit more for me Willie as I dont get it, I guess its some insult but it's early on a friday and I need it to be expanded for me, probably in pictures as I like me some good pictures.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2008-05-15 23:54:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This story sounds very familiar.
Submitted by shadow (user info) at 2008-05-15 16:49:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
aww.
You know Jonukah also lost his virginity in a tent, from what I hear.
Can't believe the girl who popped him is getting married... makes me feel quite old.
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2008-05-15 15:05:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2008-05-15 14:39:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
wake me when it's over, i thought in the middle of drogo's latest, chuckling myself to sleep as i realized that exact phrase is not entirely unfamiliar to the author himself
Submitted by matnotharry (user info) at 2008-05-15 13:52:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Classic stuff
Submitted by TheGoat (user info) at 2008-05-15 13:35:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
filename
Submitted by Lib (user info) at 2008-05-15 13:13:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2008-05-15 12:39:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Heh, very good.
Submitted by Ballare (user info) at 2008-05-15 12:13:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Butt-zilla, butt-zilla, butt-zilla.
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2008-05-15 10:42:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Ltap (user info) at 2008-05-15 10:24:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"So what should we do now?"
"I guess we could fuck."
----------------------
Awesome.
Submitted by Yozz (user info) at 2008-05-15 10:03:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"his virginity sat beside him laughing and waving two fingers in his face, "
Funny
Also, Filename
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2008-05-15 09:57:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
True stories are ALWAYS the funniest.
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2008-05-15 09:29:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2008-05-15 08:52:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Damn, that sucks.
Submitted by czwij (user info) at 2008-05-15 08:51:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
just frustrating. none of them want me.
or better
i want them all. ALL!
this is not normal.
what i wouldn't do for a dose of asexuality.
fucking loxley!
i want to be indifferent, but i can't. just can't....
sob...
Submitted by DrogoRoch (user info) at 2008-05-15 08:46:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by czwij (user info) at 2008-05-15 07:41:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
good story, but should you really be puting pics of your mom and aunt to go with this story?
gentlemen, consider yourselves lucky you are not in prague today.
if it gets any hotter and i must go outside, i will surely be charged with sexual assualt before the sun goes down. this place is sodom. help.
--
Don't try and hide it. This is just you trying to point out how lucky you are to be in Prague around all those fitties with next to nothing on.
Dont try and lie I have seen through your ruse young man
Submitted by lostnphound (user info) at 2008-05-15 08:09:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by orph (user info) at 2008-05-15 07:43:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
2
Submitted by MyNameIsTim (user info) at 2008-05-15 07:42:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
good.
Submitted by czwij (user info) at 2008-05-15 07:41:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
good story, but should you really be puting pics of your mom and aunt to go with this story?
gentlemen, consider yourselves lucky you are not in prague today.
if it gets any hotter and i must go outside, i will surely be charged with sexual assualt before the sun goes down. this place is sodom. help.
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2008-05-15 07:07:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by frankthebear (user info) at 2008-05-15 05:26:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
you were replacing all the characters with uberuser names, it was funny as shit!
-----
STFU. At least we won't have to read one of these from your LARPing ass.
Submitted by Nellypaal (user info) at 2008-05-15 06:05:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Heh
Submitted by hour_man (user info) at 2008-05-15 05:58:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Quite amusing mate
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2008-05-15 05:54:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
ahahahhahahaha
Good story
Submitted by frankthebear (user info) at 2008-05-15 05:26:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
you were replacing all the characters with uberuser names, it was funny as shit!
Submitted by Beano312003 (user info) at 2008-05-15 05:26:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
A CONDOM!? at 16.. FUCK you were grown up (not least organised!).
Submitted by DrogoRoch (user info) at 2008-05-15 05:21:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by frankthebear (user info) at 2008-05-15 05:03:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
you ever going to got back into that Lord of the Rings thing you were doing?
--
What Lord of the Rings thing was that? There are few things I havent finished but I cant remember a Lord of the Rings one, sorry.
Submitted by DrogoRoch (user info) at 2008-05-15 05:09:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Charlton_H (user info) at 2008-05-15 05:05:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
SHUT THE FUCK UP SAYETH THE LORD
--
He may very well do, but I hear he told you to fuck off when you arrived upstairs, due to your thing with that Monkey.
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-05-15 05:08:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Three strokes? You're my hero.
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2008-05-15 05:06:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Haha, the bit with the voice of virginity was class. I'm kind of bored of all these 'First Time' posts though. More innuendo than 'Jamie and His Magic Todger' as well, nicely done.
Submitted by Charlton_H (user info) at 2008-05-15 05:05:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
SHUT THE FUCK UP SAYETH THE LORD
Submitted by frankthebear (user info) at 2008-05-15 05:03:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
you ever going to got back into that Lord of the Rings thing you were doing?