I hate you're fucking girlfriend. Fuck you! (725 hits)
Category: NoneRating: -1.03 on 48 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by "I got aroused by Molly Cyrus's back" (View user info) at 2008-05-15 19:06:40 EDT
I hate your fucking girlfriend. Understand that. Got it. Fuck her and fuck you.
Uber I'm going to give you a rant. This has happened to me and I'm really pissed about it. Listen up friend. Yeah you asshole, the one that claimed we would be friends forever and pussy would never come between us. You fucking suck.
I have two friends uber that have fucking changed who they are in such a drastic way that it pisses me off. I fucking hate the way they have become and I'm going to tell you about both of them. Let me start off with James.
James was the fat kid. Excuse me is the fat kid. He was a funny fuck, always giving me truffle shuffles and was my best friend on the team my first year during baseball. He played catcher a funny fat fuck and had an honesty about him that I still love till this day. James was a virgin. I have seen him in the weakest point of his life crying in front of me that he wanted a girlfriend. In fact he needed one it was pretty pathetic and I kept his virgin secret for a good year before everyone found out because he told a lot of people.
James went from being the hug giving fat guy to an over sensitive, cowardly bitch of man. He got a girlfriend who was friends with me first. I introduced him to Caitlin. Now don't get me wrong Caitlin is a big girl too and they had a cute "fat couple" thing going there. She was funny and was essentially the girl version of James. But then James got all fucking weird with her. He started getting mad when she would come over and sit with us or else get drunk with us and he wasn't there. (We lived together at the time) and he basically quit baseball for her. Yep. Just like that this douche bag quit baseball telling me that he wanted more time for her and to hang out with us. (Complete utter bullshit).
He fucking just turned into a fucking liar. We would ask him to hang out and he would use lame excuses and use her as his excuse. I can't because of Caitlin; I can't because she wants to do this. We all look at him like "What the fuck does it matter about her?" I mean he was our friend first. So he made us hate her. They would hold up together as if they were "Bonnie and Clyde" (why do people always do this) and make it seem as if it is them against us. We didn't do anything but act the way we always acted but then she started to fucking chirp. That's what girlfriends fucking do they fucking chirp off about shit that doesn't pertain to them.
We have always treated James a certain way. He's the younger guy on the team, he's the goofy guy so we always jump on him wrestle around, just hug him, noogies just little brother type shit. James never minded it. In fact many a time he has said quote.
James: Perkman I like it when you mess around with me and stuff. I don't mind getting hit in the nuts that's man shit. That's just the way we mess around.
That's what he said to me because Uber me and my boys are basically in a fraternity. So take that into consideration. Then he changed his clothes. I mean that really kind of irked me. My buddy who is a cute guy (for a fat kid he's on the good looking spectrum) who didn't need to dress all fancy started to try and buy smaller shirts, all of a sudden his weight was an issue and he didn't like us calling him "fat, chubs, biggie, tiny" all the little joke names we call each other. He hated it. He would sit in the mirror and ask me if he looked good or else "fat" in this shirt and I would reply its you that makes you look fat not the shirt and he would get pissed.
He just fucking changed and it was the girlfriend. She didn't do anything. It was the way he perceived he should act because he had a girlfriend and we would all just look at him like he was an idiot. It was like he watched the notebook or something fucking gay and decided that was the way he should act. It was all just fucking weird. My best friend became a Nancy right before my eyes and I couldn't do anything about it. Now were at the end of the road and were kind of pissed at him.
He missed out on our last 7 months together. I mean he missed out on it and were on our last 3 weeks and he's trying to crawl back. So yesterday when I threw a beer at his fucking head and got pissed off and he asked why I was mad the asshole should have already known. I hate him and his fucking girlfriend. Not because of her because of what he made her represent. I knew when he got a girlfriend it would be the end of our friendship and our original group.
James is a pussy too. If you tell all the fucked up shit he does or did he will tear up and apologize and get quite then he will tell you how sorry he is. But then he does it again. I really don't know how I got in so deep with this kid. But I feel it was a waste of time and that hurts me the most. I don't like just tossing away or losing friends but I'm not going to jump hoops to be friends with anyone.
What is the point? He never brings pussy (all his girlfriends friends are fat like her) he never buys alcohol and when he does drink he drinks like a bitch. I mean this guy gets mad if we tell him to take shots. I mean what the wonderfuck? Are you kidding me? He will get pissed off if we ask him to drink with us or else he feels obligated to drink.
Every time he does something lame instead of just laughing it off he goes into some crap about " You guys need to respect that I'm not like you, I don't like to drink and party all the time blah blah blah". I just look at him and say "Were in college" that's what were supposed to do.
I don't know. I should have known because it was his first pussy. We all know a fat kid with a pussy is like a beer in a cave his ass was going into hibernation with her. I just hate the fact that I lost a friend. But I think I put a lot of enthuses on the friendship only because I felt you have to have that "group of guys" you understand?
I mean that group of five guys that are all going to be in your wedding, your best men, your bachelor party, going on trips, having crazy stories and I tried to incorporate him in that but he never fit in. He was like a 5th wheel in our group of friends and he didn't like what we liked nor did what we did.
He can't take a fucking joke which is essential if you hanging out with us. We will tease and make fun of everyone in the clic. That's why we have so much fun. We just joke around and laugh and have fun. But he just gets too butt hurt.
Obviously it's because he got picked on when he was little. His insecurity show through in every fat roll or every time he bitches about something obscure. We had a huge argument yesterday because some girl texted him that wasn't his girlfriend and I just started to tease him about it. I mean all I fucking said was...
Perkman: haha you gonna fuck around on your girlfriend? Take what's yours.
James: Dude stop! STOP! I didn't say that, I didn't say that"
I'm just like what the fuck is wrong with you. I'm not going to tell her if you did because I hate her and I don't give a fuck. Plus Its only me and you here what is your problem. I can't stand people that can't take a joke and James is becoming one of those.
My friends and I hangout with each other to be immature and mess around. Were trying to hold on to our youth for as long as we can. James is trying to get old to try and get respect the thing he doesn't understand is that it is earned. Not given. Whatever I hate his girlfriend and I hate him.
Fuck it another friend bites the dust. Tomorrow I will give you my buddy "Tyler and Jessica" Now those two went bat shit crazy.
User Reviews
Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2008-05-18 00:34:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2008-05-15 23:10:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
i love toe's delicate nature. how she speaks so softly and looks never to offend even when trying to help someone correct their own obvious shortcomings.
a more delicate and gentle soul has never existed.
surely this woman drinks naught but droplets of the morning dew? and certainly she dines on nothing more than the petals of short lived exotic flowers?
an angel.
an ephemeral vision of love and tenderness
<3
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I'm glad that someone gets me. I'm all about raindrops and roses and whatever the fuck retards go on about :)
Submitted by Beano312003 (user info) at 2008-05-16 05:30:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
He was a funny fuck, always giving me truffle shuffles
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I do fucking not want to hear what you and your gay boyfriend do to one another. I mean, what the fucking hell is wrong with you mate?
Submitted by CarterPFly (user info) at 2008-05-16 05:16:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I read your rants and you come accross as a complete tool.
Man, whats wrong with you? Its like you really believe your a normal ok guy with a couple of character faults but you're not, you're a seriously seriously deluded asshole. I have no doubt that if any of your mates thaught they would get clean away with murdering you they would do so in a heartbeat.
Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2008-05-16 00:23:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Fuck you, please.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2008-05-15 23:10:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
i love toe's delicate nature. how she speaks so softly and looks never to offend even when trying to help someone correct their own obvious shortcomings.
a more delicate and gentle soul has never existed.
surely this woman drinks naught but droplets of the morning dew? and certainly she dines on nothing more than the petals of short lived exotic flowers?
an angel.
an ephemeral vision of love and tenderness.
<3
Submitted by VileSin (user info) at 2008-05-15 23:05:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
This time with comment.
Submitted by VileSin (user info) at 2008-05-15 23:05:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2008-05-15 22:54:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
everyone chooses their signifcant other over their friends. In fact,the best way to tell when the relationship is heading south is when they start hanging out with you again without their partner.
and also YOU'RE a fucking moron, if anyone in this world deserves herpes AND Aids - it would be you.
Submitted by Ltap (user info) at 2008-05-15 22:31:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I actually completely read this and I don't think "your" makes a single appearance at all. This isn't a matter of forgetting, he thinks it's actually "you're". His being admitted to any kind of college rather than driving a garbage truck shows how downhill education has gone.
Submitted by Amontillado (user info) at 2008-05-15 22:16:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Your grammar's really gone downhill over the years.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2008-05-15 21:58:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
i really don't care if you do or you dont old egg.
just helping you out is all.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2008-05-15 21:26:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2008-05-15 21:17:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
hahha
no.
fail below.
===================
And I should believe you WHY??
:0
Submitted by Ltap (user info) at 2008-05-15 21:25:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Also, you realize that you've essentially driven your friends away? I mean, you kicked the guy in the nuts. No wonder he got pissed off at you. The only wonder is why he took your shit so long.
Submitted by Ltap (user info) at 2008-05-15 21:19:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
You're =/= your.
Seriously, how fucking stupid are you people? This is repeated over and over, all over the internet. Come on!
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2008-05-15 21:17:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
hahha
no.
fail below.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2008-05-15 21:15:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Someone thinks Perky = Apollo?
What a concept!!!!
True.
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2008-05-15 21:05:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You're from SoCal, right? And you say shit like "brah" and you're the typical all-American jock yeah?
"Yeah, bollocks you fucking cunt. Its going to hit you when we say "Fuck off, cunt" then you're really going to feel like shit. "
Fucking Brits can't stay in character.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2008-05-15 20:55:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by PerkMan (user info) at 2008-05-15 19:15:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I need feed bag on the sitiuation
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
*snort*
BWAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2008-05-15 20:47:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Sometimes I think that I have problems with my friends, drama, breakups, not getting along, and I think how bad things are, and I wish that there could be a time when everyone was at peace and happy to be with one another. Then I look at your posts and realize how worse off some people have it. So thanks, I guess.
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2008-05-15 20:46:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
attn ghey menz
Submitted by HellRazer (user info) at 2008-05-15 20:46:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Stop bitching because some chick stole your boyfriend.
Oh yeah:
You're = you are
your = shows possession
It's a real shame that it's too late to fix that title.
Submitted by Ballare (user info) at 2008-05-15 20:31:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
SERIOUSLY FUCK OFF
Submitted by PerkMan (user info) at 2008-05-15 20:12:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Thanks Genko. Honest feed back is the shit! But on a related note am I wrong for feeling this way about my buddy? Should we let him back in for our final road trip? or else should I say "Too little too late" because I have always wanted to say that.
Submitted by Genko (user info) at 2008-05-15 20:10:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
The post actually wasn't that bad, but two spelling/grammar mistakes were apparent before I even clicked on it and your "jokes" explaining those mistakes aren't funny. Go to bed.
Submitted by ilikesteak (user info) at 2008-05-15 20:03:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by PerkMan (user info) at 2008-05-15 19:59:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
genko- wow man. Really? You get sued? it was joke shit for brains. Plus my ass you're all about the disney you fag. But alright whatever. So what you think about the post?
Submitted by Genko (user info) at 2008-05-15 19:56:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I can't turn on the radio without hearing that cunt's name, dumbass, it doesn't matter how old I am. And if you honestly think you'd get sued for mentioning that you're attracted to a celebrity, you're even dumber than I thought.
Submitted by PerkMan (user info) at 2008-05-15 19:53:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Linus so am I. Its what I think as well. I guess friends are just there until you find a twat then fuck them. But in the end he's going to end up fucked because when she leaves he will really be alone.
Submitted by Linus (user info) at 2008-05-15 19:50:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Yeah, I know what you're talking about, but I never count on people to put friends before (even on par with) their romantic relationships; I've been fucked over too many times thinking that.
Perhaps I'm simply jaded in that respect.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-05-15 19:47:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Nice job with the spelling and grammar in the title, you fucking retard.
Submitted by PerkMan (user info) at 2008-05-15 19:42:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
yeah right football head you know you love me. Apollo you fat ass.
Submitted by PerkMan (user info) at 2008-05-15 19:41:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Linus- It matters Linus because this is a closing chapter in my life. I wanted us to be buds I mean I really did. I wanted to have one person that I could stay friends with as I aged and be like " he fucking knows me" yaknow? But that wasn't the case. Were leaving and that is that. He missed out on a lot and this little crap he's trying to pull now isn't going to do anything.
Plus I just liked teasing the guy really. Me and my friends are like Jackass. But on a serious note I actually cared about the guy. It sucks to see someone you care about not even give a 'fuck' if your leaving or dying or anything. It hurts because you try and look at him and say " I did a lot of this for you". It just sucks. He chose a twat over his friends and sports and its like I don't even know this guy anymore. This isn't my friend.
I keep telling James that when he loses me he will have lost a true friend.
He also keeps telling me I'm not his "older brother" I know I'm not you fucking twat I just like to treat him like family since we both don't have family around. I don't know we have a dysfunctional friendship but we do care about each other. It just sucks to know that this is it. And it didn't have to end like this. But it is so fuck it. You understand?
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2008-05-15 19:37:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
you're mental.
Submitted by Linus (user info) at 2008-05-15 19:36:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm talkative due to being stoned on painkillers, yay.
Submitted by Linus (user info) at 2008-05-15 19:35:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I gotta ask though, why does this even matter if you're all leaving and shit?
Submitted by PerkMan (user info) at 2008-05-15 19:32:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Hey asshole I had to say "Molly" so I wouldn't get sued you fucking cunt desk. Plus you are gay for even knowing that what aren't you like 30 genko?
Hurty you are just fucking lame. So are your lame camwhore pictures in an attempt to seem witty, or even funny because we all know you don't have any real friends in real life.
But in Uber, your a cunt and that is all that matter! Go Hurty!
Submitted by PerkMan (user info) at 2008-05-15 19:31:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
no I'm not kidding with you indo he actually did say that.
I guess its time for me to leave the fairy tale land of college and get used to boring, mudane, over react on everything type of fucks that frequent the world.
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2008-05-15 19:31:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I probably read about 30 words, got bored of your retardation and gave up.
In other words, STFU Apollo.
Submitted by Genko (user info) at 2008-05-15 19:29:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Her name is Miley, you illiterate fuck.
Submitted by indoninja (user info) at 2008-05-15 19:29:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
James: Perkman I like it when you mess around with me and stuff. I don't mind getting hit in the nuts that's man shit. That's just the way we mess around.
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YOu are the best alter ever....
Submitted by PerkMan (user info) at 2008-05-15 19:29:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Wow! Hurty now we know that you are a judgemental bitch who makes assertions about things with out even looking at it. I think that makes you a racist fat cunt.
Get off my post yah racist fat cunt!
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2008-05-15 19:27:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I didn't even read it.
Submitted by PerkMan (user info) at 2008-05-15 19:26:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
really Hurty? Why? Is it because I made fun of fatties like you in this post?
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2008-05-15 19:20:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by PerkMan (user info) at 2008-05-15 19:18:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Linus- I guess I do. I'm a normal guy and I like treating everyone well. I mean I feel a relationship is between you and you're girl. That's your world. Don't muck up my world with all that bullshit.
Plus I'm a normal guy. I love football, baseball, drinking, girls, going to school and I also like reading and writing, also shooting, and just hanging with my buddies and feeling like your in a "group" I love having a big group of friends.
I know I have a narrow view of how one is supposed to act. But don't toss away your friends for some fucking "pussy" that shit will leave in in a heartbeat. Also if you treat your friends bad while you have a girlfriend a lot of friends don't come back. I don't think I am with this one.
People don't understand. Your girlfriend DOES NOT HAVE TO BE YOUR BESTFRIEND. You have friends for that. Also if you keep your friends when your older you end up having a better life.
Submitted by PerkMan (user info) at 2008-05-15 19:15:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Well fuck it I got to turn in some shit. But feel free to post your thoughts uber. I need feed bag on the sitiuation. I mean its over in about a couple of weeks.
James is trying to come crawling back because like he said "Last night I realized that I'm not going to see you guys anymore it finally hit me"
Yeah, bollocks you fucking cunt. Its going to hit you when we say "Fuck off, cunt" then you're really going to feel like shit.
Submitted by Linus (user info) at 2008-05-15 19:14:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Do you follow "The Normal Man's Guide to Being Normal" or something?
That's how narrow your definition of life seems.
Submitted by PerkMan (user info) at 2008-05-15 19:12:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
two posts a day I know. But I felt in the moment.