Join Us or Die (916 hits)
Category: Quotes & StoriesLabels: fiction
Rating: 1.62 on 38 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Flash Harry (View user info) at 2008-05-20 08:51:28 EDT
Steve sat at his desk and stretched his back out. It crunched, to his great satisfaction, a sign that he had been working far too hard this week, again. Never mind. It was Friday and he had plans to take the little ones to the park at the weekend. He looked forward to it immensely.
He was just settling into his chair with a warm latte when the email came through. He clicked and read the message with a sudden surge of uneasiness. It was from the Boss. Summoning Steve to the Boss' office. Nothing good ever came from being summoned to the Boss' office.
He placed his drink down with a trembling hand, and made his way to the elevator. On the way he stopped to tell Robert, the supervisor, where he was going.
"You've to go and see the Boss?" asked Robert in a tinny voice. "You stupid son of a bitch - what did you expect?"
Steve ignored the question and walked around the corner, through the open doors, and pressed the button to take him to the top floor. All the way up. The number glowed a dull red, and the lift kicked into life, climbing higher and higher. It was understood that the more power you had, the higher up your office was. He was going right to the top. He felt his heart pound as the lift slowed, and the doors shuddered open with a cheery ping.
Steve stepped out and the receptionist ushered him into the office without a glance. He heard the Boss before he saw him; that familiar, laboured breathing. The rhythmic, terrifying inhalation, followed by the relaxed, sinister exhalation. Over and over. The Boss' voice suddenly boomed out, echoing around the metallic chamber and sending shivers of nausea through Steve's bones.
"Admiral Steve," came the menacing boom.
"How did you know it was me?" asked the employee, aghast.
"I find your lack of faith disturbing," came the response. Then the Boss appeared, dressed in black from head to foot. He was a huge, ominous presence, sure-footed and broad around the shoulders. He took a seat, and gestured that Steve should do likewise.
"Now Admiral, I will be brief. I am displeased with your appearance."
"But its Casual Friday, Sir," whimpered Steve.
The Boss grunted in disgust. "Do you know why I introduced such measures as Casual Friday?"
"To motivate the workforce, I suppose."
"Correct. But since you insist on making a mockery of it," the Boss clenched his fist, "perhaps I can find new ways to motivate them."
Steve swallowed hard. He had thought Casual Friday gave free reign to wear whatever was comfortable...
"Casual Fridays are a thing of the past," asserted the Boss.
"Y-yes Sir. Shall I tell the others?"
The Boss thought about this for a moment, sucking air noisily in and out of his body.
"No. Leave them to me. I will deal with them myself. Now, get back to work."
Steve said a silent prayer, and stood to leave. As he did so, his windpipe narrowed for a moment, causing him to splutter.
"Don't fail me again, Admiral," warned the Boss, releasing the pressure on Steve's neck.
User Reviews
Submitted by loveinbrevity (user info) at 2008-07-21 11:21:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-05-21 05:08:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2008-05-21 01:46:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
http://youtube.com/watch?v=Ye4U7Qp5sNU
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2008-05-21 00:41:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by VileSin (user info) at 2008-05-20 19:29:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by TheGoat (user info) at 2008-05-20 18:16:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
tee hee.
Submitted by Darth_Famine (user info) at 2008-05-20 17:48:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
*SPEW*
Submitted by matnotharry (user info) at 2008-05-20 14:07:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I laughed heartily : D
Submitted by Lib (user info) at 2008-05-20 13:23:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Val (user info) at 2008-05-20 12:50:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i giggled, and i don't fancy myself a giggler.
Submitted by lostnphound (user info) at 2008-05-20 12:33:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
you got me good you fucker!
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-05-20 11:58:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
*flutters eye lashes*
But why?
============
I don't really want to get into my fetish for Lucha Libre masks right now.
Submitted by Littlebint (user info) at 2008-05-20 11:56:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-05-20 11:53:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Interesting. But would she sleep with you? and if so, what would she make you wear on your head?
=================
This is entering dangerous territory, Bint.
--
*flutters eye lashes*
But why?
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-05-20 11:53:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Interesting. But would she sleep with you? and if so, what would she make you wear on your head?
=================
This is entering dangerous territory, Bint.
Submitted by Littlebint (user info) at 2008-05-20 11:52:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-05-20 11:33:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I have a dress like that, all I need now is the helmut
===============
Funny you should say that. I was thinking about it and I reckon I would sleep with a hot girl in a stormtrooper mask.
--
Interesting. But would she sleep with you? and if so, what would she make you wear on your head?
Submitted by SgtHartman (user info) at 2008-05-20 11:47:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by orph (user info) at 2008-05-20 08:57:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
very good.
Submitted by Yozz (user info) at 2008-05-20 11:40:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
A solid +3. GODDAMN YOU BART!
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-05-20 11:33:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I have a dress like that, all I need now is the helmut
===============
Funny you should say that. I was thinking about it and I reckon I would sleep with a hot girl in a stormtrooper mask.
Pretty weird I suppose.
Submitted by Littlebint (user info) at 2008-05-20 11:32:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I have a dress like that, all I need now is the helmut
Submitted by lostnphound (user info) at 2008-05-20 11:24:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by X54 (user info) at 2008-05-20 11:24:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Hookhand (user info) at 2008-05-20 11:07:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Brilliant
Submitted by shadow (user info) at 2008-05-20 10:59:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
... cosplay ...
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2008-05-20 10:42:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Banjo (user info) at 2008-05-20 10:30:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
As always, you never fail to deliver.
Back to work now I guess...
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2008-05-20 10:15:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
worth reading, i suppose.
Submitted by Ltap (user info) at 2008-05-20 10:11:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Should have been posted on a Friday, but still +2.
Submitted by Amontillado (user info) at 2008-05-20 10:02:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by GangsterSquid (user info) at 2008-05-20 09:52:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
That pic is rocksome.
Submitted by Poots (user info) at 2008-05-20 09:37:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Awesome story.
and
We got death star! We got death star! We got death star! We got death star!
Submitted by sexualchocolate1984 (user info) at 2008-05-20 09:28:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
hahahahaha, didn't see it coming.
Loved it.
Just wish it was Friday....
Submitted by Nellypaal (user info) at 2008-05-20 09:10:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Ha.
Submitted by DrogoRoch (user info) at 2008-05-20 09:07:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I like the picture, the story lacked somewhat.
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2008-05-20 09:03:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Belter!
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2008-05-20 09:02:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Hahahahaha, that pic is class. Storm troopers are always comedy.
http://youtube.com/watch?v=4wGR4-SeuJ0
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2008-05-20 09:00:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Just for the pic.
Wow.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2008-05-20 08:58:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh dear.
Submitted by orph (user info) at 2008-05-20 08:57:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
very good.