Pimp your Skillz -- An OathMeal contest (yes I'm lame enough to pay you strangers to entertain me) (1011 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.3 on 50 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by OathMeal (View user info) at 2008-05-22 11:16:20 EDT
"Oathmeal, you really need to STFU. All you talk about on Ubersite is homosexuality and beating people up. It's lame and you're a tool."
*sigh*
I guess you're right. It's not enough that I come here almost daily and perform my duties as Ubersite's Provost Marshall, no. IT'S NEVER ENOUGH FOR YOU PEOPLE.
Ok fine.
I haven't done a contest in a few, so let's get this shit going.
(real quick: shout outs. Yozz (visage of a serial killer), MWG, Captain Thorns (can't play guitar worth shit and he knows it), Orphelia (hawt), L_M (hawt as well especially when paired with prior list item), ilikesteak (who has been much less of an annoyance recently), Vexx (I want an update), and of course Method (stop calling me plz) and, posthumously, Sicosemen (again...with the calls. It's not funny anymore.).
TEH RULES:
- 150 words. That's all you get, including articles and conjunctions. Anything beyond that and you're disqualified.
- Your submissions don't even have to contain text. A good image post might well win above something typed up.
- Fiction, non-fiction, prose, social commentary, Alien-on-Human erotica, etc...the type of writing you submit matters not.
- Highest rated post by midnight MST on MONDAY MAY 26th wins. That means I tally the ratings for all submissions then.
- Winner gets their choice of prizes:
1. $20 immediate paypal payment
2. Random item from my apartment (I deliver goodness when this option is chosen. Ask Captain Thorns.)
3. Donation to your choice of charity in your 'name' - $30
4. Nothing
- 'PYS' must be in the subject line of your submission and you must link your post here in the reviews.
- YOU MUST USE ONE OF THESE TITLES:
How I Landed
Disrespect = Death
Nevermind
Today We Fight for Aspirin
My Last Canteen's Worth
Serial Rapist Hopscotch
Fur, Muir, Curs and a Girl
Reality vs. Fatality
Stop, Collaborate and Glisten
15 Stones
The Final Gear
Subatomic Foreplay
Satan Can't Dance
Bicycles for Barry
Dropkix
Crash and Learn
The Fire in Dr. Kearn
The Fist
Last I Heard
My Dog Just Swallowed My iPod
God Swallows
An Air of Poison
Sympathy for the Unborn
That's it. You are now armed. Do not disappoint me.
User Reviews
Submitted by Charlton_H (user info) at 2008-06-16 17:13:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by GangsterSquid (user info) at 2008-05-24 10:59:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2008-05-24 09:22:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Oathmeal only wants boyfriends who have great skills.
__________________________
I'm a man of discriminating taste and expect my boyfriends to be well qualified. Duh.
Submitted by PukingDog (user info) at 2008-05-24 10:43:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
http://www.ubersite.com/m/116911
Exactly 150 words.
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2008-05-24 09:23:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
sorry, skillz.
I forgot this contest was EXTREME
:)
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2008-05-24 09:22:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I don't even have any good skills. You know, like nunchuku skills, bow hunting skills, computer hacking skills... Oathmeal only wants boyfriends who have great skills.
Submitted by 8track (user info) at 2008-05-24 08:43:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
0atsey, you is the king.
Submitted by X54 (user info) at 2008-05-23 22:43:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
PYS: How I Landed (Crash and Learn)
http://www.ubersite.com/m/116907
Submitted by orph (user info) at 2008-05-23 04:31:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/116895
Submitted by gisele (user info) at 2008-05-23 04:00:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Still fat and still ginger eh bretty boy?
Submitted by theBarron (user info) at 2008-05-23 03:59:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Recognize: http://www.ubersite.com/m/116894
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2008-05-23 02:55:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/116887
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2008-05-23 01:07:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals (user info) at 2008-05-22 22:15:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
http://www.ubersite.com/m/116883
Submitted by GangsterSquid (user info) at 2008-05-22 18:09:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by bob (user info) at 2008-05-22 18:09:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Are you allowed to repeat titles?
__________
Yes.
Submitted by bob (user info) at 2008-05-22 18:09:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Are you allowed to repeat titles?
Submitted by Ballare (user info) at 2008-05-22 17:52:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/116876
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2008-05-22 17:20:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
STFU
http://www.ubersite.com/m/116877
Submitted by Darth_Famine (user info) at 2008-05-22 17:16:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Sounds like fun
Submitted by messmind (user info) at 2008-05-22 16:58:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh noes! a repost : http://www.ubersite.com/m/116874
Submitted by messmind (user info) at 2008-05-22 16:13:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/116873 It's a pink thing.
Submitted by DeathJester (user info) at 2008-05-22 15:26:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/116872
A repost of an earlier submission, because nobody knew what the fuck I was on about.
Hopefully the videos will offer clarification.
Submitted by Squirrelly_Girl (user info) at 2008-05-22 15:12:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You know, I like this contest because I benefit from the submissions as well. :)
Submitted by 8bithero (user info) at 2008-05-22 15:02:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/116869
Submitted by Aussie_em (user info) at 2008-05-22 14:17:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-05-22 12:47:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Actually, I am working on a new post.
It'll be my Uber debut for 2008.
All I can say about the post is "I went on a date" and took a few pictures.
------------------
rule 34 comes into effect.. FALL 2008
Submitted by 8bithero (user info) at 2008-05-22 13:31:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I think I'll compete simply for the charity donation option.
Submitted by Yozz (user info) at 2008-05-22 13:02:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I MADE A LIST! *Yozz wonders why he made a list* *Yozz thinks, "Fuck it - it doesn't matter* I MADE A LIST!
Submitted by GangsterSquid (user info) at 2008-05-22 12:51:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-05-22 12:47:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Actually, I am working on a new post.
It'll be my Uber debut for 2008.
All I can say about the post is "I went on a date" and took a few pictures.
___________________
Great.
Like Ubersite really needs beastiality pictures.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-05-22 12:48:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I guess it won't be my "debut" since I posted in February.
It'll be my "second quarter" post.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-05-22 12:47:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Actually, I am working on a new post.
It'll be my Uber debut for 2008.
All I can say about the post is "I went on a date" and took a few pictures.
Submitted by GangsterSquid (user info) at 2008-05-22 12:45:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2008-05-22 12:42:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2008-05-22 11:35:54 CDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by GangsterSquid (user info) at 2008-05-22 11:53:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
MWG you still have a few days...A WINNAR COULD BE YOU.
-------------------------
How about you just send me something anyway.
If you do, in return, I'll send you some sweet nude photos that some chick in Iowa sent me.
=======================
EW, AJ sent you pictures?
______________
hahahahahhahhaha
Submitted by GangsterSquid (user info) at 2008-05-22 12:44:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Why don't YOU enter my contest, Shlongy? There's money involved, after all.
OH WAIT. I FORGOT. YOU CAN'T WRITE.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-05-22 12:42:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Fuck off. I thought you quit Ubersite, you stupid fuck.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2008-05-22 12:42:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2008-05-22 11:35:54 CDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by GangsterSquid (user info) at 2008-05-22 11:53:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
MWG you still have a few days...A WINNAR COULD BE YOU.
-------------------------
How about you just send me something anyway.
If you do, in return, I'll send you some sweet nude photos that some chick in Iowa sent me.
=======================
EW, AJ sent you pictures?
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2008-05-22 12:35:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by GangsterSquid (user info) at 2008-05-22 11:53:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
MWG you still have a few days...A WINNAR COULD BE YOU.
-------------------------
How about you just send me something anyway.
If you do, in return, I'll send you some sweet nude photos that some chick in Iowa sent me. She used a star shaped hole puncher to cut out all the nipples, but there's got to be at least 30 of them in there, and they show more than nipples anyway.
Also, no worries, I already asked, they were from HER personal collection and as such have not been spoiled by man juices. I didn't ask about woman juices, but you can imagine what you want there.
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2008-05-22 12:25:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh yeah here's my entry http://www.ubersite.com/m/116861
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2008-05-22 12:23:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2008-05-22 11:46:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
well it's official....uber can't get any fuckin' gayer
--------------
That's what you think. As soon as you say something like that, the front page is going to turn into lemonparty central.
Submitted by gonefiguring (user info) at 2008-05-22 12:20:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
My entry in your fun contest. http://www.ubersite.com/m/116863
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2008-05-22 12:15:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Ok, now that THAT'S out of the way...I may participate in this little shindig. I'll decide later today depending on how quickly I can blow through my workload.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2008-05-22 12:14:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"I deliver goodness when this option is chosen. Ask Captain Thorns."
---------------------
SHITE, I TELL YOU, PURE SHITE
^_^
Submitted by GangsterSquid (user info) at 2008-05-22 11:53:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
MWG you still have a few days...A WINNAR COULD BE YOU.
Submitted by GangsterSquid (user info) at 2008-05-22 11:49:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Oops. Sorry guns! :P
Submitted by GangsterSquid (user info) at 2008-05-22 11:48:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Fag below.
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2008-05-22 11:48:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh, you sneaky bastard you. I ALMOST posted again for your contest in the hopes of winning and having something sent to me, as I am so fond of receiving things. I stopped just short of submit before I realized this was simply another of your nefarious tricks to take my other post off the page.
Almost got me, almost you did, but you didn't count on my dumb luck.
You could still send me something anyway though, the post was well made, and it was entitled Reality vs. Fatality, and had a picture of a self-immolating monk and a picture of Scorpion's flame fatality.
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2008-05-22 11:46:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
well it's official....uber can't get any fuckin' gayer
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-05-22 11:40:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I don't post on Uber anymore but if I did, I'd enter your contest.
You are rather 'hawt' too. :)
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2008-05-22 11:38:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i'm gonna win
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2008-05-22 11:33:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Well shucks. Ta for the shout out.
Need some thought to play.....though I have an idea.
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2008-05-22 11:26:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
My Dog Just Swallowed My iPod.
If somebody can make this a true story I'll chip in five bucks of my own. A TRUE STORY. Your dog has to swallow your mp3 player and you have to be pissed off when you write your post or
YOU
GET
NOTHING
Submitted by ilikesteak (user info) at 2008-05-22 11:17:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Auto +2 seeing my name
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2008-05-22 11:17:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Hahaha, Halo Legos?