Ubersite
Home - About Us - Contact
"Work is the scourge of the drinking classes." - Oscar Wilde
Welcome to Ubersite!
Search Ubersite
Search for:

Most Recently Reviewed
  1. Random Pictures III
  2. What really goes on at a u...
  3. Jesus.
  4. The 15 best feelings in th...
  5. Halloween Costume
  6. Stag, Do
  7. Galileo's finger
  8. This isn't creepy at all...
  9. Super Important Question
  10. New Product Evaluation: C...
more...
Most Heated
  1. Sleep now? (56 heat)
  2. What's your Theme Song, Ub... (32 heat)
  3. This site should be more l... (23 heat)
  4. When will women stop sendi... (23 heat)
  5. This isn't creepy at all... (22 heat)
  6. Super Important Question (19 heat)
  7. Wuthering Heights – A book... (17 heat)
  8. Super Yum? (14 heat)
  9. New Product Evaluation: C... (13 heat)
  10. A Stoned Question (12 heat)
more...
Most Viewed Messages
  1. The Ultimate MS Paint: It... (1217192 hits)
  2. "If I cum now, will it be ... (774552 hits)
  3. How The Hell Do I Get Out ... (507863 hits)
  4. Exploiting Peer-to-Peer Ne... (427500 hits)
  5. Motivating the Weekend (383875 hits)
  6. How To Pick Up Chicks (352652 hits)
  7. Knockoff porn movie titles (327950 hits)
  8. My J-Date Misadventure (317837 hits)
  9. Masturbating on Skype with... (314080 hits)
  10. Badass Australian Cows (275545 hits)
more...
Most Viewed Authors
  1. Bart Cilfone (1573205 hits)
  2. S. William Moore II (1562777 hits)
  3. Razor (1536834 hits)
  4. JMG114 (1497443 hits)
  5. Sydeburnz (1433870 hits)
  6. MickGinny (1400920 hits)
  7. loki (1144135 hits)
  8. Jonukah (1084747 hits)
  9. VACANCY (1072382 hits)
  10. Sayonara (1066588 hits)
  11. weeeeep (1027345 hits)
  12. Obama Fofana (994345 hits)
  13. Yankees! (980370 hits)
  14. Tom (923517 hits)
  15. THE MIGHTY APOLLO (847866 hits)
  16. I Got A Life So I Don't Ha... (834004 hits)
  17. ++TIGER++ ++LILLY++ (815597 hits)
  18. Sorrell (805901 hits)
  19. Wally (798484 hits)
  20. RIP™ (779155 hits)
  21. Tremble, hetero swine! (760715 hits)
  22. Phallic_Cymbals (752534 hits)
  23. RON PAUL 2008! (749694 hits)
  24. HIDDEN101 (741692 hits)
  25. Will Zone (728446 hits)
  26. T then ToM (720256 hits)
  27. User Blocked (714737 hits)
  28. iddqd (701391 hits)
  29. kaos-king (688128 hits)
  30. kaos-king (670620 hits)
Click here to return to the list of messages.

PYS: How I Landed (Crash and Learn) (501 hits)

Category: None

Rating: 0.41 on 10 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Labels:

Submitted by X54 (View user info) at 2008-05-23 22:41:03 EDT


Like a cigarette butt flicked out the window of a speeding car, I throw myself into the night.

"One-thousand, two-thousand, three-thousand, oomph."

Spinning on untwisting risers, balls squished in ill-fitting harness, dark shapes like giant jellyfish surrounding me, I head for the faint black stripe on the pitch black ground.

"No winds on the DZ." The bastards always say that. The ground rushes by, below.

Fuck! I don't want to land on the runway, just near it. Right toggle, run with the wind.

I'm still flying downwind when the runway surprises me. I forgot to lower my rucksack, which is hanging from my harness below my reserve. Pavement knocks the wind out of me. The rucksack smashes my knees. The parachute drags me across the tarmac. Searching for the quick release to deflate it, my hand instinctively deploys my reserve. I'll catch hell for that when I turn it in.



http://www.ubersite.com/m/116860







airfuckingborne.jpg (23 kB)

Submit to Digg Submit to StumbleUpon

User Reviews


Submitted by X54 (user info) at 2008-05-24 21:32:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

Point taken.

Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-05-24 18:26:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2

Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-05-24 18:24:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2

Go outside and get some sun or some exercise, fuckhead.


Submitted by GangsterSquid (user info) at 2008-05-24 10:05:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Excellent.

Submitted by moneyshotforyou (user info) at 2008-05-24 05:57:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

first thing I will cover are the four points of performance

First point of performance is proper exit check body position and count......




Cherry....

Submitted by messmind (user info) at 2008-05-24 05:32:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1

No Comment

Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2008-05-23 23:47:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1

.

Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2008-05-23 23:46:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0



Submitted by coley (user info) at 2008-05-23 23:09:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1

Ah. Clearly my jump was made strapped to another more experienced human being and little to no terminology was learned.

I prefer my mental picture of risers as in 'those things you stood on in choir in junior high'

Submitted by X54 (user info) at 2008-05-23 23:04:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

The risers are the two straps that connect the parachute to the harness. They often got twisted and you'd spin around and around as they untwisted.

Submitted by coley (user info) at 2008-05-23 22:59:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1

I jumped out of a plane once and it was awesome.

I was, however, confused by your reference to something like "twisted risers"...?


Jeez. No beer ... no opera dogs ...

-- Homer Simpson
Bart the Genius