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PYS: How I Landed (Crash and Learn) (460 hits)

Category: None

Rating: 0.41 on 10 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Labels:

Submitted by X54 (View user info) at 2008-05-23 22:41:03 EDT


Like a cigarette butt flicked out the window of a speeding car, I throw myself into the night.

"One-thousand, two-thousand, three-thousand, oomph."

Spinning on untwisting risers, balls squished in ill-fitting harness, dark shapes like giant jellyfish surrounding me, I head for the faint black stripe on the pitch black ground.

"No winds on the DZ." The bastards always say that. The ground rushes by, below.

Fuck! I don't want to land on the runway, just near it. Right toggle, run with the wind.

I'm still flying downwind when the runway surprises me. I forgot to lower my rucksack, which is hanging from my harness below my reserve. Pavement knocks the wind out of me. The rucksack smashes my knees. The parachute drags me across the tarmac. Searching for the quick release to deflate it, my hand instinctively deploys my reserve. I'll catch hell for that when I turn it in.



http://www.ubersite.com/m/116860







airfuckingborne.jpg (23 kB)

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User Reviews


Submitted by X54 (user info) at 2008-05-24 21:32:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

Point taken.

Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-05-24 18:26:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2

Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-05-24 18:24:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2

Go outside and get some sun or some exercise, fuckhead.


Submitted by GangsterSquid (user info) at 2008-05-24 10:05:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Excellent.

Submitted by moneyshotforyou (user info) at 2008-05-24 05:57:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

first thing I will cover are the four points of performance

First point of performance is proper exit check body position and count......




Cherry....

Submitted by messmind (user info) at 2008-05-24 05:32:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1

No Comment

Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2008-05-23 23:47:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1

.

Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2008-05-23 23:46:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0



Submitted by coley (user info) at 2008-05-23 23:09:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1

Ah. Clearly my jump was made strapped to another more experienced human being and little to no terminology was learned.

I prefer my mental picture of risers as in 'those things you stood on in choir in junior high'

Submitted by X54 (user info) at 2008-05-23 23:04:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

The risers are the two straps that connect the parachute to the harness. They often got twisted and you'd spin around and around as they untwisted.

Submitted by coley (user info) at 2008-05-23 22:59:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1

I jumped out of a plane once and it was awesome.

I was, however, confused by your reference to something like "twisted risers"...?


Marge, this ticket doesn't just give me a seat. It also gives me the
right -- no, the duty -- to make a complete ass of myself.

-- Homer Simpson
Dancin' Homer