Lars Ulrich and the Crue Battle Vikings: An Epic Submission for the HBTS Poetry Classic! (2718 hits)
Category: Quotes & Stories -> PoetryLabels: favourites
Rating: 1.57 on 132 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by experima (View user info) at 2008-05-26 15:25:09 EDT
The Viking, Fjord Bjork
Pink and portly as pork
O he with the pendulous wattle
He girded his loins
Filled his coffers with coins
And set sail in his space-ship for battle
By his side trusty Blarf
Pon, Stor, Malfi, and Narff
And a beautiful Norse wench called Mia
Forty more crew
Joined this pillaging brew
With other names straight from Ikea
Interplanetary pillages
Of cosmical villages:
Bjork set his Aryan sights on Mars
For an intergalactica
Fight with Metallica's
King of the Martians, Lars
King Lars was flanked
By the dubious ranks
Of '80s hair bands of the day
Whitesnake and Heart
And Poison had departed
Earth 'cos their music was gay
LA Guns, Foreigner,
Ratt, Motley Crue
Formed the ragtag space hair band of muppets
Cinderella and Styx
Joined Lars in '86
Right after "Master of Puppets"
With rape in his heart
for the ladies of Heart
Bjork siled on into the night
When he got to Mars
The imperious Lars
readied his troops for the fight
Bjork and his crew
Drew their swords; a few
dudes from Def Leppard were out on the pish
The one-armed guy tripped
And over was flipped
And Blarf gutted him like a fish
As Heart got their due
Tommy from Motley Crue
Got an LA Gun and began the hunt
He was off by a mile
When, Pam-Anderson style,
Mia blew him to bits, the cunt
When the Martians got wind
Of the death of their friend
They donned ceremonial Pentacles
Sprayed Aqua Net in their hair
Wore their best leather gear
And put skull rings on all of their tentacles
The Vikings were screwed
When they saw all these dudes
Advancing from gas clouds afar
They stopped in mid-pillage
of Bon Jovi's village
The army--it played air guitar
Their blonde, blue-eyed necks
And their surprising sex
Were cut short that terrible day
When the Martians and the Hairies
The Xenus, Steve Perrys,
Kicked more ass than Kid-N-Play
So much blood was shed
The horn-hat wearers dead
Again the mighty rockers could roam
Tears welled up as Styx
Joined Lars and Nikki Sixx
in the victory song, "Home Sweet Home."
User Reviews
Submitted by Ejryuu (user info) at 2008-07-16 16:13:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 Doggy Style winner!
Submitted by Nietzsche (user info) at 2008-07-05 20:55:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You are ruthless
Submitted by Lurby (user info) at 2008-07-05 16:17:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Thank you, thank you, thank you.
This poem took a bit of work.
Excellent.
Submitted by frankthebear (user info) at 2008-07-01 20:39:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by iambetteratit (user info) at 2008-06-25 15:15:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2008-05-29 08:33:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2008-05-28 16:38:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
straight line below
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2008-05-28 16:37:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
there's nothing gross about female plumbing
it's part of the wondrous circle of life my sweet
i do hope all is well with you in that area now and you were spared any unsightly cracks
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2008-05-28 16:32:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
thanks for grossing up the post willie
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2008-05-28 16:20:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
at least we know your unfortunate blockage isn't due to improper tampon disposal
are you binging and purging again?
you know that's not good especially with all that pitty paradise juice you've been ingesting of late
there are better ways to lose those post menopausal pounds my dove
or if proper diet and exercise simply isn't an option, you can find an old 3-gallon tank in the penny saver that will flush your troubles away post-haste
Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2008-05-28 16:20:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Director (user info) at 2008-05-28 13:16:13 PDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Because, NUUUUR, she lives in a different time zone. So I'm assuming the time on HER screen is different from the time given on MY screen.
Yeah, I went to college, but I graduated in 1990, and it was in Texas, so don't expect too much from me.
=====
ahahahahahahahahahaahahaahahahahaaha...
Submitted by Director (user info) at 2008-05-28 16:16:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Because, NUUUUR, she lives in a different time zone. So I'm assuming the time on HER screen is different from the time given on MY screen.
Yeah, I went to college, but I graduated in 1990, and it was in Texas, so don't expect too much from me.
Submitted by Director (user info) at 2008-05-28 16:14:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Anyway. Back to "Lost worlds," for me. Stonhenge n' shit. Not that I have much interest in a bunch of ancient rocks, but nothing else is really on.
I'd rather they did something on Aztec, Incan and Mayan structures. Particularly Aztec. Those fuckers were awsome.
Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2008-05-28 16:13:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Why would the minutes change, Director?
Did you *really* go to college?
Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2008-05-28 16:13:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Director's almost analogy turned me on a little bit.
Submitted by Director (user info) at 2008-05-28 16:12:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Groovy.
So, it says you responded at 16:10. That's military time, you know. (Blonde girl and all).
But that's what time it is *here,* not where you are. So on your screen it says approx. 13:14, right?
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2008-05-28 16:10:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
yes i am at work
Submitted by Director (user info) at 2008-05-28 15:20:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
WTF? You at work?
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2008-05-28 15:19:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
SRSLY!
Submitted by Director (user info) at 2008-05-28 15:16:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
If you fucked everyone that came here and rated you with a +2 because you have a vagina, you'd have enough semen to fill up Lake Superior.
That's a godawful lot of jizz.
Also, your vagina would be pretty worn out.
Just sayin.
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2008-05-28 15:11:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
go haiku woo!
Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2008-05-28 15:03:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
It really wasn't.
I was offended nonetheless.
And at 10:30 I was making a business stats test my bitch.
Which basically means, drinking at 10:30 *would* have been better.
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2008-05-28 14:57:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
i can't believe i just gave myself a 2
it wasn't that clever a response
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2008-05-28 14:56:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
your computer's the one that takes 3 hours to send anything, slim!
champagne at 10:30 is better
Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2008-05-28 14:35:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Well, if you bought a computer from the 21st century perhaps you could handle them.
Who says champagne at 11:30 AM isn't a great idea? No friend of mine, that's who.
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2008-05-28 13:20:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2008-05-28 12:24:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2008-05-27 14:45:21 PDT (#)
Ranking: 0
what a cute little face!
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-05-28 12:18:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Retal :o)
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2008-05-28 12:08:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
banjo: berg's not back.
just a one-off for me.
haiku? shouldn't you be sending me some sort of massive file or something?
Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2008-05-28 11:43:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Alright, I +2ed, where's this decrepit cunt I keep hearing about?
I have to be nice too!?
This just doesn't seem worth it, anymore.
Submitted by Banjo (user info) at 2008-05-28 09:14:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
hahaha
Berg is back!
I guess he's probably been back for ages and I'm just slow though.
Nice to see you again Rob.
Submitted by orph (user info) at 2008-05-28 07:36:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2008-05-28 02:38:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
<3
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2008-05-28 02:10:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5elDAVhSNCg
As promised.
<3
Submitted by PukingDog (user info) at 2008-05-28 02:07:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Always makes me think: "Oh wait - was she a great big fat person?" and "Love your suit." and "It does this whenever it's told, or else it gets the hose again. Isn't that right Precious? Yes..."
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2008-05-28 01:59:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
ps: what you should have said is "i'm having an old friend for dinner."
and then i could have said "what time am i supposed to be there again?"
HAR HAR
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2008-05-28 01:57:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i actually watched that movie yesterday
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2008-05-28 01:56:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
patience is a virtue clarice
good night experima the nice
i do so enjoy our banter but i'm having a young friend for dinner
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2008-05-28 01:55:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
you were just dying to say that somewhere weren't you
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2008-05-28 01:54:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
and at $4 a gallon...
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2008-05-28 01:53:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
yours wasn't as good as mine. you should have said, they're big and wide and come out when it's wet
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2008-05-28 01:52:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
they're also long and curved and you love when they come out
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2008-05-28 01:51:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
if it's gold, baby see a doctor
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2008-05-28 01:51:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
yeah, PD you can change your rating up and down and the overall changes. you just can't make it higher by doing the same one over and over.
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2008-05-28 01:51:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
what about the pot 'o gold?
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2008-05-28 01:50:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
rainbows? they're thin, and bent, and have little men at the ends of them. sort of like your....
Submitted by PukingDog (user info) at 2008-05-28 01:49:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I always thought once you replied your first rating was the only one that counted. Now I understand that if you reply again with a different rating it fucks up your first rating? Is that right? If so, sorry about that. I can't keep up with all the Ubershite...
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2008-05-28 01:49:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
ahaha
i would have said
and at the $4 a gallon
goddamnit my timing is off clarice
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2008-05-28 01:48:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
what are those like i hear all kinds of stories
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2008-05-28 01:47:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i'm walking into an insult.....3.......2.......1........
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2008-05-28 01:47:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
it's full of rainbows too
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2008-05-28 01:44:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
wait a goddamn minute
YOU HAVE A VAGINA?
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2008-05-28 01:43:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i like pukingdog because he posts some fucked up shit and some of it's hilarious. and he's right. some people rate me negatively for the same reason some people rate me positively, because i represent some fucking uber archetype to them or whatever. SHE HAS A VAGINA? -2! ooooooh she has a vagina??? pluuuuuuuuus twooooooooooooooo!
other people just rate and leave. other people like fucking with me and my head full of rainbows.
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2008-05-28 01:41:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
yes puking dog is right + fucking 2
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2008-05-28 01:39:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
sometimes they just come to me
Submitted by PukingDog (user info) at 2008-05-28 01:38:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by iddqd (user info) at 2008-05-27 22:28:27 MDT (#)
Ranking: 0
okay - the first response is a joke.
the second is an insult directed at the lonely fucks who give you and other women on this site good reviews and positive comments for the most inane, poorly written shit - because presumably, theyre lonely fucks who think giving a woman a positive review on a website will somehow lead them to pantyland. its something that has pissed me off since forever, and will always continue to do so. accordingly, i will not ever shut my mouth about it. theyre losers, and they should be told so, in the hope that they might one day wake up to themselves and go and find actual women to go and praise into the bedroom, not some fantasy digital one.
course, they might just be being nice (and im sure that *some* are), but that's just gay and should also be punished.
this may well be a 'fun' poem - that doesnt stop it from being shit. if you cant handle someone being bluntly negative with you, then dont show your poetry to people.
***********************************************************************************************
Everyone hates those people, but you have to realize that a lot of people like this girl because she is NICE. It may make you want to puke, but really why would you give a fuck? Call it shit and move on... you are a good writer and the average post these days is garbage, like Bubba posting "So What is Your Favorite Color Ubersite? :)" and that probably makes you crazy. Me too.
This has a little creativity and there is a lot worse. I like her and am not disillusioned about sexing her or even meeting her. I read her stuff and rate it on merit and it's usually a 2 because it usually has some thought put into it. I could give her a -2 if I thought that's what it called for. And for every person who sucks up to her and gives her a 2 just because she is hot, there are 2 fucking wankers that -2 things for no reason... whatever
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2008-05-28 01:37:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
how long did it take you to come up with that gem of wit
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2008-05-28 01:35:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
you know with the price of rainbows at $4 a gallon out here its going to cost you a fortune filling up before the summer thinking season
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2008-05-28 01:27:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
me: O RLY?
you: YA RLY!
me: SRSLY?
you: SRSLY!
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2008-05-28 00:54:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i like fucking with you
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2008-05-28 00:51:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
and some people genuinely like me.
HANDS UP WHO LIKES ME?
fuck off it's a young ones quote
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2008-05-28 00:46:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
if you'll look around, plenty of people are bluntly negative to me. you weren't criticising the poem in the remarks i responded to.
this poem is not some work of art? no shit! it was a joke about poetry on uber.
i get a mix of creepy as fuck comments and nice comments and fucking mean comments. some people are cool and some people are thoughtful and some people are sociopaths.
that's uber.
Submitted by iddqd (user info) at 2008-05-28 00:28:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
okay - the first response is a joke.
the second is an insult directed at the lonely fucks who give you and other women on this site good reviews and positive comments for the most inane, poorly written shit - because presumably, theyre lonely fucks who think giving a woman a positive review on a website will somehow lead them to pantyland. its something that has pissed me off since forever, and will always continue to do so. accordingly, i will not ever shut my mouth about it. theyre losers, and they should be told so, in the hope that they might one day wake up to themselves and go and find actual women to go and praise into the bedroom, not some fantasy digital one.
course, they might just be being nice (and im sure that *some* are), but that's just gay and should also be punished.
this may well be a 'fun' poem - that doesnt stop it from being shit. if you cant handle someone being bluntly negative with you, then dont show your poetry to people.
Submitted by PukingDog (user info) at 2008-05-27 23:30:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Pretty good poem.
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2008-05-27 17:45:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
what a cute little face!
Submitted by centaur (user info) at 2008-05-27 17:07:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2008-05-27 12:34:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
there's always alters though. hi centaur!
----------
Hey ex!
Didn't like your poem :o(
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2008-05-27 15:08:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
yay!
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2008-05-27 14:09:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2008-05-26 16:05:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I await with bated breath the entry from our resident Poet Laureate, the Mighty Orgasmatron. Can he outdo this? Has he lost his rhyming fervor? Is he still alive? Film at 11:00.
---
This story of yours will become breaking news next week. Stay tuned.
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2008-05-27 13:03:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2008-05-27 12:34:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
...it seems unfair.
what i think is that repeated -2s from the same person should start cancelling themselves out and raise the rating.
=============
ahahahaha
yes my love why couldn't i see it before its so very simple
just punish those who bring sadness into your life
and what greater sadness for the loverly experimoan than the undeserved blemish of a -2?
and what greater punishment could be imagined than to subvert the evil intent of those who fail to appreciate her wondrous talent?
yes yes its all so clear
oh that we could return to a time when ratings were young
to become unspoilt once more
oh that we could not only stop the clock but somehow propel it backwards
oh that ratings were pictures and we could present them in such a way as to become that sweet sweet person we were oh so many years before
why oh why is life so unfair?
why oh why are ratings so unkind?
ratings = life
why oh why
and el oh el
and ess oh ess
save me bart from the ravages of time
take me bart to a more innocent world
take me bart
take me!
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2008-05-27 12:56:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I want Lars Ulrich to die. The weeping cunt.
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2008-05-27 12:34:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
thanks, blt, that makes sense, even though it seems unfair.
banjo, yeah it's good repeated -2s don't affect the rating over and over. what i think is that repeated -2s from the same person should start cancelling themselves out and raise the rating. that way certain people wouldn't be attracted to doing that.
there's always alters though. hi centaur!
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2008-05-27 12:29:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
thanks, you all.
i appreciate your sense of humour, as this was supposed to make hbts smile at the silliness of uber poetry.
i'm glad a few others smiled, too.
that's all.
iddqd, i'm ashamed i ever respected you, which i used to, back when you'd offer thoughtful, intelligent, and technically correct critique to me. i enjoyed your point of view. it just makes your mannerless, baseless, and tasteless outbursts on this happy, silly post all the more embarrassing for you...they reflect on you, not me. always on you.
Submitted by Banjo (user info) at 2008-05-27 11:25:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This one I liked much better!
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2008-05-26 19:39:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
okay.
1.75 on 34 reviews. then shlongy -2s it: it goes all the way down to 1.33. then diavola +2s it: up to 1.4?
===========================
It only picks up a rating once from each user unless they change it in which case it averages it out. Means that the same person can +2 you until the cows come home but it won't make diddly squat difference. However, if they then -2 their average rating will be a 0. The more ratings you get, the less of an impact it makes because it is taking a mean from a much larger number of users. This is why Schlongy had a bigger impact than Diavola.
This is how my mathsy brain has come to understand it.
Submitted by centaur (user info) at 2008-05-27 08:32:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Pretty crap really.
Submitted by woolfe (user info) at 2008-05-27 07:39:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by beeltea (user info) at 2008-05-27 04:40:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
right, id. Because I think I'm going to hook up with experima. It would only take an eight hour flight, I think. That would be fairly manageable.
I have to plus two her she complimented my picture. It's called "exchanging pleasantries". Maybe they don't do that where you are from.
Submitted by iddqd (user info) at 2008-05-27 04:19:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
shut the fuck up you desperate losers.
jesus fucking christ people sicken me
Submitted by czwij (user info) at 2008-05-27 03:59:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i hate poetry.
unless it`s this kind of poetry.
well done, madam, well done
*raises glass*
Submitted by beeltea (user info) at 2008-05-27 03:42:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2008-05-26 19:39:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
okay.
1.75 on 34 reviews. then shlongy -2s it: it goes all the way down to 1.33. then diavola +2s it: up to 1.4?
---
it's an average. a 2 is not going to help a 1.75 all that much, but a -2 will kill it.
for example, a post with 9 +2's and 1 +1= 1.9. Add another +2 to that the average will only increase to a 1.909; but giving it a negative two will drop it to 1.54. I think I did that math right.
Anyhow, the poem was pretty good. I can never tell with poetry.
Submitted by iddqd (user info) at 2008-05-27 02:41:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
ps, this 'poem' REALLY fucking sucked, and these losers are giving you +2's in the misguided hope of seeing your decrepit cunt.
Submitted by iddqd (user info) at 2008-05-27 02:39:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
how old were you when that photo was taken - 24-25?
Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals (user info) at 2008-05-26 23:19:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Uhhm. Uber and poetry is not good. No, not even when Orgasmatron does it.
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2008-05-26 22:34:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
bye, D.
Submitted by Director (user info) at 2008-05-26 21:59:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Jessica and I just drove out into the countryside to pay the landlord for our downtown office rent. As we were driving I counted 27 churches, and the woman only lives about 15 miles out of the city. Are there really that many religious people in the USA?
I guess they're the reason George W. Bush got re-elected.
:-(
The Michigan countryside is stunningly beautiful.
+2 because mention of Motley Crue always makes me think of my very first girlfriend, ever. We would drive out to the beach in my car and Jackie would, without fail, every day for an entire summer, put "Too Fast For Love," in my tapedeck and on every single song where Tommy Lee banged cowbells, she would do it in time with him.
Ah Jackie. I wonder whatever became of you. Probably a mother of 3. I wonder if she even lets her kids listen to Motley Crue? Probably not.
That is all. This is my sign off from here, foeva, yo. Tired of this joint, and kind of spooked by my new stalker.
Ya'll take care now.
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2008-05-26 21:56:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
im thinking yes
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2008-05-26 21:54:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
there once was a haggot from burbank
whose twat was a virtual spermbank
she posted her crap
so the virgins could fwap
butter face was the image of her flank
did i post this already because it feels familiar
Submitted by peacenik_in_hell (user info) at 2008-05-26 21:53:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"The Vikings were screwed
When they saw all these dudes
Advancing from gas clouds afar
They stopped in mid-pillage
of Bon Jovi's village
The army--it played air guitar"
______________________
i love that imagery.
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2008-05-26 21:46:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by peacenik_in_hell (user info) at 2008-05-26 18:11:15 PDT (#)
Ranking: 2
lots of good little bits. the pam anderson reference cracked me up.
little trouble with the name Bjork though, I keep thinking of a singer from Iceland more than anything.
------------
the fjord bjork thing was the most ridiculous thing i could think of naming him :)
Submitted by X54 (user info) at 2008-05-26 21:40:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This wasn't bad for a poem.
Submitted by peacenik_in_hell (user info) at 2008-05-26 21:11:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
lots of good little bits. the pam anderson reference cracked me up.
little trouble with the name Bjork though, I keep thinking of a singer from Iceland more than anything.
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2008-05-26 20:53:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
yes i still got it baby
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2008-05-26 20:53:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
lets see how quickly i can get it back up
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2008-05-26 20:52:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
you're right it goes down like director on a weekend furlough
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2008-05-26 20:51:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
lemme try that out
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2008-05-26 19:40:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
and noooooooooooo i'm not bitching about it. just never understood it.
PEACE OUT YO
word to ya muthas
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2008-05-26 19:39:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
okay.
1.75 on 34 reviews. then shlongy -2s it: it goes all the way down to 1.33. then diavola +2s it: up to 1.4?
I know Diavola's my alter. I just wanted to see how much the ratings changed.
I don't understand how the math works. Bart? How does the math work?
Submitted by diavola (user info) at 2008-05-26 19:33:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
another masterpiece! wow!
lol
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-05-26 18:02:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
This fucking sucked, too.
Good thing I kind of like you though.
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2008-05-26 17:23:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i know he's a cunt. that's why he was banished to mars after 'master of puppets.'
is there anyone who doesn't hate lars? if there is, i haven't met them.
okay, i'm off.
:)
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2008-05-26 17:20:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This was awesome. Lars Ulrich is a cunt though.
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2008-05-26 16:59:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
non sognerei di esso, il mio amore
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2008-05-26 16:59:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Ma vattelo a pigliare in culo.
<3
i'm going out now. ta!
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2008-05-26 16:54:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
per favore, noli me tangere, angelo mio.
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2008-05-26 16:50:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
is that a poster from when you were a senior?
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2008-05-26 16:49:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i bet it was paradise juice
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2008-05-26 16:48:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
it was peachy
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2008-05-26 16:48:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
how was plum island?
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2008-05-26 16:47:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
did you miss me clarice?
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2008-05-26 16:46:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
haggot?
haggot?
a G-hot G?
your anagrams are showing
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2008-05-26 16:42:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
thanks baby
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2008-05-26 16:41:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
sweet guitar solos :)
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2008-05-26 16:40:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
There once was a haggot from Burbank
Whose twat was a virtual spermbank
She posted her crap
So the virgins could fwap
Butter face was the image of her flank
<3
Submitted by messmind (user info) at 2008-05-26 16:38:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You didn't finish it. Vikings and long hair.
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2008-05-26 16:37:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by messmind (user info) at 2008-05-26 13:31:24 PDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No word of the guys i ripped of here : http://www.etisrebu.com/Audio/10.mp3
----------
i hear bee gees. they were more 70s than 80s, i think
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2008-05-26 16:35:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
saccy: lars rhymed with mars, and hurty had to have aliens in addition to vikings and metal bands. it was quite a dilly of a pickle.
kid-n-play was a random 80s reference because a) it rhymed with day and b) i thought including a random black totally 80s act would add a little spice, yo
i'm glad you read it all :)
i was quite proud of the tommy death scene and the def leppard drummer-gutting myself
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2008-05-26 16:34:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2008-05-26 16:28:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
only bubba would be old/retarded enough to recommend 'google' as a good tool to find information.
thanks bubba, we've heard of it.
=====================
Who read it to you, you stupid dipshit?
Go fuck yourself.
Submitted by messmind (user info) at 2008-05-26 16:31:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No word of the guys i ripped of here : http://www.etisrebu.com/Audio/10.mp3
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2008-05-26 16:31:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I know hurty hates Lars Ulrich, but I hope, young lady, that you are not putting Metallica in the same category as those hair bands.
And where did Kid-n-Play fit into all this? Despite all my confusion I very much enjoyed this.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2008-05-26 16:28:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
only bubba would be old/retarded enough to recommend 'google' as a good tool to find information.
thanks bubba, we've heard of it.
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2008-05-26 16:26:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
ha! i got most of the ones listed in wikipedia! yessssssssssssssssssss
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2008-05-26 16:24:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
literally...
ah, well. too late now!
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2008-05-26 16:19:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Experima: Google 1980s metal bands. Lots of shit.
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2008-05-26 16:10:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i don't know if anyone else will do one. hurty just said my other one was faggotry and he'd 2 poetry when i wrote something about vikings and metal bands.
i may have failed by including "foreigner" but i couldn't think of a lot of names of bands from the '80s.
also i don't know what styx ever did to anybody but they were great for rhymin'.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2008-05-26 16:05:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I await with bated breath the entry from our resident Poet Laureate, the Mighty Orgasmatron. Can he outdo this? Has he lost his rhyming fervor? Is he still alive? Film at 11:00.
Submitted by Director (user info) at 2008-05-26 15:55:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Sweet Child O' Teh 80's.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2008-05-26 15:50:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I just wanted to sneak in a dipshit limerick. . .
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2008-05-26 15:47:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
eh? tu, sweet bubba?
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2008-05-26 15:45:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Poetry fag from a raunchy old hag
Even her picture was queer
Anthrax be damned
Some face should be slammed
In a mosh pit filled full of beer.
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2008-05-26 15:28:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
yay! this made the great JoeyG want to post????
pls do an epic poem too!
Submitted by messmind (user info) at 2008-05-26 15:28:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by JoeyG (user info) at 2008-05-26 15:27:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 I'm gonna post again.
Submitted by JoeyG (user info) at 2008-05-26 15:27:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 I'm a gonna post again.
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2008-05-26 15:26:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
"sailed on into the night."