The BOSH Man! IS HAPPY TODAY IS FRIDAY/WANTS TO DRINK BEER/IS GONNA BE HUNG OVER TOMORROW!! (1395 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.82 on 41 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Dude, thats BOSH! (View user info) at 2008-05-30 11:17:51 EDT
The other day I travelled back in time to jam with Marvin Berry. Just kidding. I went back in time and punched Marvin Berry in the neck and jammed with Molly Hatchet instead. I would also like to point out that I am typing this with only my index finger on my left hand. Have you ever tried that? It's pretty dumb. In fact I hate it. Don't try it.. it was probably Scruggs' idea in the first place.
Speaking of Scruggs, every morning I google his name to see if he's dead yet. Fuckin guy is like 84 by now. Yesterday I threw stink bombs at his groceries and laughed hysterically at his reaction. Then I kicked him in the neck and lit up a cigarette.
Larry Bird stopped returning my calls. I think it might have something to do with the feces quiche i made for him on his birthday. Now if you ask him, he'll tell you that it wasn't a quiche at all, and that it was just 100% feces, and he'd be right. What can I say? I'm just a sore winner and haven't gotten over the time me and Ed Norton beat him and Dr. Greenthumb in a game of 2v2. Side note, we played by 1's, game til eleven.. we won by like 14 points. That's how fuckin bosh that was.
This idea didn't work: http://www.ubersite.com/m/112920
After purchasing 2650 guitars, all i could afford was a kiddie pool, and even then there wasn't a hose nearby to fill it up, although you couldn't really tell from the top of the building. We told Scruggs that it just LOOKED like a tiny pool and it just LOOKED like there was no water in it because we were so high up. He found out the hard way after i pushed him off. Bitchin' solo, though.
I have never seen wrath so fierce as i did this morning when I told Wesley Willis I shoved his Crayola's up Count Chocula's ass.
Thunderlips got pissed off the other day when I told him that his atomic leg drop is an inferior finishing move. So pissed that he gave Fagatron, my pet pegasus, an atomic leg drop which actually killed him. I realized my mistake and bought Thunderlips some beer and apologized. Email me if you'd like to attend the wake: theboshman.at.gmail.com
PS make sure you have a jet pack if you want to come. I only have one and the service is taking place in Fagatron's homeland at Cloud Fortress, which is about 6 miles up in the sky.
The Kid Who Knows Everything recently won the lottery for like the 15th time (obviously) and spent his millions on buying Earl Scruggs elaborate gifts. Scruggs was so happy. About a week later, The Kid and I built about 93 treasure maps and sold them to some idiots we know. The maps all lead to the gifts Scruggs had recently received. Since the treasure maps are a legally binding contract, Scruggs had no choice but to forfeit his fortunes. I think he cried 4 times. The Kid took a dump on Scruggs' wife, I just lit up a cigarette and nodded in agreement.
Warm it up, Kris.
User Reviews
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2008-06-03 00:14:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
bosh
Submitted by triangle_man (user info) at 2008-06-02 18:41:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
scruggs will die next month
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2008-06-02 12:15:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
The fuckers in the Camded Yards booth started playing "Sweet Caroline" during the seventh inning stretch, as a 'treat for all you Sox fans.' Then they cut it off after about 30 seconds, posting a big fat "...NOT" up on the scoreboard. At that moment I wanted to fling phosphorous grenades into a bus full of nuns, provided those nuns were taking a bus to attend to people at Camden Yards.
It was nice to see Ellsbury steal seven bases over the weekend. I don't think Ramon Hernandez could throw a nun out at second, even after she'd been burned to a crisp by a phosphorous grenade.
You should make those signs, and use them. If I spot them I promise to punch whoever I'm sitting next to in the face.
Submitted by shadow (user info) at 2008-06-02 12:04:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Crack is the only reasonable explanation for this.
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2008-06-02 11:43:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I had some friends over for the game and we were saying the same thing.
Of course I feel like any crowd at any stadium would be able to appreciate what manny accomplished that night, but it was as if they were at Fenway..
If I had a shot of jack for every orioles fan i saw at the game on saturday's broadcast, i probably wouldn't get drunk.
Then again, its like that everywhere (except the bronx).
Oh well, it was a good weekend for Boshton sports.
PS i am going to a couple games this month and a couple more later this summer. I have tickets for 4 games, but will probably go to more. Maybe I should make a sign that will catch Rem and Orsillo's eye.. something like "Hi i'm 10 and this is my first sox game! I love your moustache!"
then when the camera gets on me, ill pick up another sign that says "The BOSH Man! IS AT A SOX GAME!!"
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2008-06-02 11:35:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
If you're going to reach a goal, you may as well do it with a blast to deep center.
How sad must it be to be the Orioles when the Sox are in town? So much for having a hot home crowd behind you. Easily 75% of the people were Boston fans. Easily.
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2008-06-02 11:23:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
that was a fuckin bomb, too.
there was red sox coverage on NESN for like 48 hours straight this weekend.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2008-06-02 11:17:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2008-05-30 12:10:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I will celebrate for you this weekend as the Sox take on the O's in Baltimore.
Manny better knock in his 500th HR in front of me. If he knows what's good for him.
---
......AND HE DID.
HR #500 and I was there.
First I'm there for the Buchholz no hitter. Now this. Clearly I can't "just" attend Red Sox games anymore. Even the team knows to step it up when I'm around.
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2008-06-01 02:42:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I think I died, this was so fucking bosh.
Wait, let me check...
Yep, dead.
Submitted by messmind (user info) at 2008-05-31 19:07:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
damn bosh!
Submitted by Hookhand (user info) at 2008-05-31 12:55:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2008-05-31 09:53:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I have seen journey and peter frampton and carlos santana for free before, but not zz top.
I did see them on the beer drinkers and hell raisers tour:
zz top
lynyrd skynyrd
ted nugent
powerful.
so FUCK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!
also i am good at reading the future.. if you look at the title of the post, you will see that i predicted that i'd be hung over today.
Submitted by whiskey_jack (user info) at 2008-05-31 06:47:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh I also saw One Republic in concert, they have that "Apologize" song. I must admit they played a very good show. I'm just not really into that type of music but when it comes to free good shows I'm just dandy.
P.S. I'm much cuter than the lot of you fucks.
Submitted by whiskey_jack (user info) at 2008-05-31 06:40:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I saw ZZ Top in concert last Saturday for $5 so FUCK YOU! Then after them was a 30 minute awesome firework display. So what I'm trying to say is I'm better than you and fuck you and your favourite food!
Submitted by St_Jimmy (user info) at 2008-05-30 19:51:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2008-05-30 16:53:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No time to read, but I like the title. At first, I wrote "I like your title," but it looked too much like "I like your tittie." My stomach turned at the thought of saying "I like your tittie" to a dude...even you...so I changed it.
________________________
HaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHa!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Oh yeah, Auto crisscross +2
REAL FACT: Daddy Mac now owns a used car dealership in Helena, Montana. Mac Daddy is a moderately successful promoter still living in NYC with his "close companion" of 8 years.
Crisscross will make you jump, indeed.
Submitted by czwij (user info) at 2008-05-30 16:54:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
yeah, yer pretty bosh awright.
even in yerup you'd be considered bosh an that's sayin supthin.
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2008-05-30 16:53:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No time to read, but I like the title. At first, I wrote "I like your title," but it looked too much like "I like your tittie." My stomach turned at the thought of saying "I like your tittie" to a dude...even you...so I changed it.
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2008-05-30 14:52:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
all those cereal narcs are serial narcs
fuckin narcs always narc'n
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2008-05-30 14:43:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
That Count Chocula is such a narc.
Submitted by sadie73 (user info) at 2008-05-30 14:10:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by crosschris (user info) at 2008-05-30 13:55:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Crosschris likes your chriscross quote. Happy 100th post.
Submitted by DeathJester (user info) at 2008-05-30 13:30:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by traxadron (user info) at 2008-05-30 11:26:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Bosh man was better at some point. But now senile, old and gray, your time is done old timer.
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This is like saying that Rock was better at some point, but it's now all shitty homogenous turds squeezed out multi-cut style and printed out on toilet paper for us to lick clean and beg for more.
Yeah, damn right it's true, but you're just a punk kid and you don't get tell us the way it is.
NOW GET THE FUCK OFF MY LAWN.
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2008-05-30 13:30:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
that was just a hoax
either that or i'm hangin around with a zombified wesley willis, which is also pretty bosh.
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2008-05-30 13:28:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I have never seen wrath so fierce as i did this morning when I told Wesley Willis I shoved his Crayola's up Count Chocula's ass
dude, wesley died in 2003.
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2008-05-30 13:04:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2008-05-30 12:53:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
100th Bosh post BOSHNESS
Submitted by Susie_Derkins (user info) at 2008-05-30 12:18:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Feces quiche nearly caused nose tea. The last hell ride I took with Wesley Willis, he headbutted Sherman Helmsley and whupped Captain America's ass. It was awesome.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2008-05-30 12:10:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I will celebrate for you this weekend as the Sox take on the O's in Baltimore.
Manny better knock in his 500th HR in front of me. If he knows what's good for him.
Submitted by The_Drake (user info) at 2008-05-30 11:55:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
dude...
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2008-05-30 11:50:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
They call me the D-A-double D-Y-M-A-C
And there ain't another brotha bad as me
Submitted by comicbookguy (user info) at 2008-05-30 11:45:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
cuz that's what I was born to do
Submitted by Yozz (user info) at 2008-05-30 11:42:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Yozz has No Comment
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2008-05-30 11:41:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i'm about to
Submitted by orph (user info) at 2008-05-30 11:38:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Old bosh.
Submitted by GangsterSquid (user info) at 2008-05-30 11:36:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Warm it up, Kris.
I'M ABOUT TO
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2008-05-30 11:26:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I meant my last few remaining eggs shrivel and die.
Fucking Fridays. Can't concentrate for shit!
Submitted by traxadron (user info) at 2008-05-30 11:26:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Bosh man was better at some point. But now senile, old and gray, your time is done old timer.
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2008-05-30 11:25:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I have never seen wrath so fierce as i did this morning when I told Wesley Willis I shoved his Crayola's up Count Chocula's ass.
God I love you.
Have a great weekend. I plan to write yet another letter to Rob Zombie asking him for some sperm before my last few remaining ovaries shrivel and die. I want to birth an Antichrist you see. I wonder if he'll call the FBI on me. Again.
Ok, that was stupid.
Have a great weekend anyway.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-05-30 11:23:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Don't you just hate it when you have to put the first comment in yourself?
Happy 100, I guess.
Submitted by FALLEN (user info) at 2008-05-30 11:23:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Dude.
you know what this is?
Yeah you know.
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2008-05-30 11:21:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
100th post