For Ye Olde UberDirectory... (1131 hits)
Category: RomanceRating: 0.93 on 70 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by ChaosJester (View user info) at 2008-06-03 22:53:29 EDT
...As if my narcissistic ass needed an excuse.
User Reviews
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2008-10-04 12:01:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
where in the blue hell are you?
Submitted by Fey (user info) at 2008-08-10 17:11:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You should definitely continue with the beard. What with your complete lack of head hair, it's good to balance out your eyebrows with something.
Submitted by PayMeLater (user info) at 2008-06-05 21:31:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
DO YOU SUCK DICK?
BOB ONCE FOR YES
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-06-04 18:46:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
;)
(I missed ya)
Submitted by ChaosJester (user info) at 2008-06-04 18:29:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Awwwww. Don't be like that, Slothie.
You know I loves you with all my shriveled little...heart.
Don't hate. 'Preciate!
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-06-04 17:53:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Lord Jesus, I just realised, you have only been back five minutes and already you have posted twice AND had a post made in your honour.
This, combined with the unfortunate return (slight) of Fey, makes my suicide level precariously high.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2008-06-04 15:35:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
How Kevin Youkilis-esque of you.
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2008-06-04 12:35:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
you have wizzard eyebrows.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-06-04 12:14:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Shut the fuck up, cocksucker. (below) You must seriously be proud of your lack of brains, your lack of money, your lack of couth, your lack of class and your lack of friends or even acquaintances.
Submitted by GangsterSquid (user info) at 2008-06-04 12:09:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by centaur (user info) at 2008-06-04 05:53:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
It must have gone into meltdown over the last few weeks.
What with Oath v Method, Oath v Apollo, Oath v pretty much anyone, Oath v Beano
______________________
WHAT THE FUCK EVER. I AM A NICE GUY
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-06-04 12:07:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Anton LaVey Jr.
Submitted by shadow (user info) at 2008-06-04 11:11:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
just a few chin hairs away from Lex Luthor.
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2008-06-04 10:37:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Going with the "nut-tickler" beard I see? When are you skipping town next?
Submitted by Yozz (user info) at 2008-06-04 10:10:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You look like a Mii.
Submitted by GangsterSquid (user info) at 2008-06-04 09:49:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
lol CJ has his high school GED framed in the background.
Submitted by Nellypaal (user info) at 2008-06-04 08:57:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Sympathy.
Submitted by The_Drake (user info) at 2008-06-04 08:11:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
so........hairy
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2008-06-04 06:34:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Ello kitten.
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2008-06-04 06:19:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
At what point do you think they realise that they've paid a dollar to 'rile' internet nerds? Maybe it's as they masturbate tearfully over lolcats, maybe it's just after sending cob77 to a complete stranger (having masturbated over it already)... Who knows.
Submitted by centaur (user info) at 2008-06-04 05:53:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
It must have gone into meltdown over the last few weeks.
What with Oath v Method, Oath v Apollo, Oath v pretty much anyone, Oath v Beano, Beano v Director etc and so on.
It does all get rather tedious.
But then, take the uberboard for example. I'm sure that people see one another scrapping and then add comments to the uberboard to make it look like one of the scrappers added it... hence adding fuel to the fire.
Then they sit back and enjoy the fireworks.
I guess it amuses some people.
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2008-06-04 05:44:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Actually you're right, I watched that crappy IT Crowd show and have learned they are layabout dossers, good for nothing apart from the occasional cliched joke.
You're right though, I do have a nifty Widget installed on my computer that bleeps whenever douchebaggery takes place on Uber. I had to turn the sound off though, since every time I log in, my whole computer crashes with the strain.
Submitted by centaur (user info) at 2008-06-04 05:40:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2008-06-04 05:37:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You know the IT guys probably laugh at you as you go around Director posts?
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You think the IT guys keep up with what is going on?
100K people work for my company.
This year TO DATE in the UK alone the SPAm filters have blocked one billion spam messages, go know how many trillions of megawhatsits of data pass through the system.
It's only you keeping tabs on me, not the IT guys.
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2008-06-04 05:37:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You know the IT guys probably laugh at you as you go around Director posts?
Submitted by centaur (user info) at 2008-06-04 05:35:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2008-06-04 05:31:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm not looking for a fight, I just think it's kind of lame is all.
I don't start the old nine to five (thirty, cunts) again until Monday, what's your excuse?
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I'm at my nine to five, it's for a HUGE company and I don't feel like working most of the time. I can get away with it because I'm good at what I DO do.
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2008-06-04 05:31:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm not looking for a fight, I just think it's kind of lame is all.
I don't start the old nine to five (thirty, cunts) again until Monday, what's your excuse?
Submitted by centaur (user info) at 2008-06-04 05:29:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Ranking: 0
You created that maf one as well. It's a website dude.
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Hurty, if you're bored and looking for a fight I suggest you go elsewhere.
I am aware that this is a website and I don't really need you pointing that out to me, ALL DUE RESPECT SHOWN.
Don't believe everything that happens on here hurty, I'd have thought that a user who frequents this site as often and for as long as you would know that by now.
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2008-06-04 05:26:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You created that maf one as well. It's a website dude.
Submitted by centaur (user info) at 2008-06-04 05:24:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2008-06-04 05:13:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Centaur, Astra, Kristy are all yours as well no?
What's the point in any case? Why do you care so much?
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Nope.
Hence your comment about 'caring too much' makes no sense.
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2008-06-04 05:13:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Centaur, Astra, Kristy are all yours as well no?
What's the point in any case? Why do you care so much?
Submitted by centaur (user info) at 2008-06-04 05:09:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You were kind of correct, I mean huh? at you 'just how many' comment.
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2008-06-04 04:53:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
My bad, I'm sure you're a completely legitimate user and not just another crappy alter.
Submitted by centaur (user info) at 2008-06-04 04:48:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2008-06-04 04:33:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Christ Beano, how many of these olde users have you got?
------------
Huh?
Submitted by DrogoRoch (user info) at 2008-06-04 04:41:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Ah Chaos with fur on his lip and chin.
Hope all is good sir. Make sure you travel through Devon sometime for a beverage or 2.
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2008-06-04 04:33:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Christ Beano, how many of these olde users have you got?
Submitted by centaur (user info) at 2008-06-04 04:32:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
For attracting that fucking idiot Director to your post.
Submitted by czwij (user info) at 2008-06-04 04:10:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
you dont look like the nosferatu
shave dammit
Submitted by woolfe (user info) at 2008-06-04 04:08:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-06-04 04:06:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
(By 'Dear God', I wasn't refering to you).
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-06-04 04:06:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Dear God, you have resorted to the 'hair on my face will make up for the lack of follicles on my head' beard.
EXCELLENT.
Submitted by orph (user info) at 2008-06-04 03:56:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
IMAX called - they want their screen back, you know, the one you're using for a forehead.
Submitted by lechuza (user info) at 2008-06-04 01:54:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
dude, there is just too much forehead it boggles the mind.
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2008-06-04 01:31:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I hate it when you use big words to make it sound like you are smarter than you are.
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2008-06-04 00:49:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i think the sun suits you actually
Submitted by Director (user info) at 2008-06-04 00:26:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
SORRY YOU LOST YOUR HAIR AT 22 OLD HOSS THAT'S GOTTA SUCK BUT LOOK AT IT LIKE THIS AT LEAST IT WASN'T BECAUSE OF CHEMO OR SOMETHINGE EQUALLY HORRIBLE THERE'S ALWAYS A BRIGHT SIDE ALWAYS LOOK ON THE BRIIIIIGHT SIDE OF LIFE, FEEEOOO, FEEEOOOOO, FEEOOOOO DE DO DE DOOT!
Submitted by ChaosJester (user info) at 2008-06-04 00:14:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I wouldn't say that I'm insecure about being bald (although I've got to admit that it's never made me jump for joy either). To be honest, I sort of like the cueball look. Still, having one's hair fall out at 22 is a rather...humbling experience.
I am also (frequently) reminded (by others) how ironic it is that just about every part of me is covered in bristly, black fur whilst my dome is blissfully free of any such encumbrance.
Lucky me.
...
Fuck Genetics.
Submitted by Director (user info) at 2008-06-04 00:05:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I MEAN, THEY'RE JUST PRETENDING TO BE BADASS. THEY'RE NOT REALLY BEING BADASS.
Submitted by Director (user info) at 2008-06-04 00:04:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I DON'T KNOW HOW BADASS THOSE GUYS ARE IN REAL LIFE THOUGH BECAUSE, WELL, YOU KNOW, THEY'RE ACTORS, NOT REALLY ACTION HEROS.
Submitted by Director (user info) at 2008-06-04 00:03:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
MY EX WIFE LOVED SKINNER FROM X-FILES THOUGHT HE WAS HOT SO YOU GO BALDY AND GET YOURSELF SOME POONTANG!
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2008-06-04 00:02:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2008-06-03 23:15:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You have two caterpillars on your twelvehead
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On average, Uber makes me laugh out loud once per day. Yesterday, it was Shlongy's quip about no homos welcome at his impending betrothal. Now, I know I shouldn't have laughed, but I did. Today it was the above comment. My nap was lovely. Thanks for asking. If I were to tell the truth, no, my nap was not lovely, as my wife called and woke me up. Hmmmmm. Mistake. I should add that there is a grouchy rottweiler at the house and an even grouchier woman with guns. And she knows how to use them.
Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals (user info) at 2008-06-04 00:00:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Being insecure about being bald is almost as dumb as being insecure about dick size. I've never met a chick who had major issues with baldness. Think how badass Bruce Willis, Vin Diesel et al are.
It's one of those weird vanity points that men get riled up about but women don't care about. And, because women don't care, a real man shouldn't care either.
Submitted by Director (user info) at 2008-06-03 23:58:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
WELL MY HAIR GROWS AT AN EXTRAORDINARY RATE THERE IS THIS GIRL WHO IS BATSHIT CRAZY THAT I USED TO FUCK AND SHE CUTS IT FOR ME BUT WE NO LONGER FUCK AND I CAN HAVE HER SAVE IT FOR YOU IF YOU'D LIKE AND YOU CAN BEGIN TO GLUE MY EXCESS HAIR TO THE TOP OF YOUR BALD HEAD.
Submitted by X54 (user info) at 2008-06-03 23:58:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Nice bookshelves big spender.
Submitted by ChaosJester (user info) at 2008-06-03 23:55:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Trust me. If I could grow hair, I would.
:(
Submitted by Director (user info) at 2008-06-03 23:43:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
IN THAT CASE I AM PROUD OF MY MOP OF WAVY SALT N' PEPPA HAIR THAT ABSORBS ALL MY HEAD OIL BECAUSE I DON'T THINK IT'S FAIR TO OTHER HUMAN BEINGS TO BE SUBJECTED TO BALD MEN'S HEAD OIL IT'S JUST REALLY KIND OF NASTY IF YOU THINK ABOUT IT LIKE SAY FOR INSTANCE YOU PLAYED GROSSBERGER IN THE MOVIE "STIR CRAZY" AND GENE WILDER SLAPPED YOU ON THE BALD HEAD HIS HAND WOULD COME AWAY ALL SLIMY AND WET AND ICKY AND THAT'S JUST NOT VERY POLITE, YOU KNOW WHUT I'M SAYIN' YO?
ARE YOU BALD BECAUSE YOU'RE ACTUALLY BALD OR ARE YOU BALD BECAUSE YOU THINK IT LOOKS COOL I THINK THAT IF GOD WAS GOOD ENOUGH TO GRANT YOU THE ABILITY TO GROW HEAD HAIR THEN YOU HAVE AN OBLIGATION TO GROW FUCKING HEAD HAIR SO WHICH IS IT AND DON'T YOU LOVE JESUS?
Submitted by ChaosJester (user info) at 2008-06-03 23:37:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
The shiny head thing comes from the amount of oil the scalp produces (which is greater than pretty much anywhere else on the body). Normally, such oils are absorbed by the hair on one's head. In my case, however, it just sits there, gleaming proudly for all to see. Like, if you will, a shining beacon of virility.
Yup, that's me. A pillar of musky masculinity.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2008-06-03 23:36:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
HOW DARE YOU ZERO MY POST?!?!?
Submitted by Director (user info) at 2008-06-03 23:33:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I MUST SAY HOWEVER THAT YOU HAVE AN EXTRAORDINARILY SHINY HEAD AND HAIRY ARMS WHY DO BALD GUYS ALWAYS HAVE BIG FUCKING SHINING HEADS?
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2008-06-03 23:31:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by Director (user info) at 2008-06-03 23:29:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
NO I CAN NO LONGER BE MEAN TO YOU BECAUSE I HAVE A NEW PERSONA AQUI WHOM I HATE EVEN MORE AS HARD AS THAT MAY BE TO BELIEVE AND I TAKE BACK ALL THE HORRIBLE THINGS I HAVER EVER SAID TO YOU AS WELL AS ALL THE -2'S I'M SO SORRY WILL YOU EVER BE ABLE TO FORGIVE ME?
Submitted by ChaosJester (user info) at 2008-06-03 23:26:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I think D-Choad's about to pop a blood vessel.
Relax, dude. It's me. Feel free to be nasty.
...
I sort of like it.
Submitted by Director (user info) at 2008-06-03 23:25:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
NO SHE'S WRONG THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS A BEST PICTURE OF YOU EVER YOU STILL DO AND ALWAYS WILL LOOK LIKE A CREEPY FUCKING PEDO WHO EATS DUNG BEETLE GUTS AND HIDES IN DARK CLOSEST WHIMPERING EVERYTIME MOMMMY SPANKS YOUR BOTTOM BUT +2 FOR MY NEW ATTITUDE TOWARDS UBERSITE AND ALL IT'S DENZIENS WHO ARE ALL WONDERFUL AND AMAZING HUMAN BEING EXCEPT FOR BEING THE SICK TWISTED SCARY FUCKSTICKS THEY ARE AT ALL OTHER TIMES OK THANKS I'M DONE NOW AND OUT OF BREATH PANT PANT PANT BYE BYE.
Submitted by Off_The_Wagon (user info) at 2008-06-03 23:22:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by ChaosJester (user info) at 2008-06-03 23:19:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Well that took about three seconds.
Bravo, my good man. Bravo.
*slow clap*
_______________________
I should have waited an additional second and proofread the title.
Submitted by ChaosJester (user info) at 2008-06-03 23:16:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You think so, Ex?
I've been getting an awful lot of that harsh Texan sun, lately.
The day after I got back from Germany, I spent fifteen minutes out in the sun. An hour later, my scalp was peeling. True story.
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2008-06-03 23:15:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You have two caterpillars on your twelvehead
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2008-06-03 23:08:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
this is the best picture of you ever
Submitted by Genko (user info) at 2008-06-03 23:03:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 filename.
Submitted by Director (user info) at 2008-06-03 23:00:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
OH FAR OUT GROOVY ONE OF MY EX GIRLFRIENDS AND I WERE GOING TO MOVE TO ROUNDROCK IN 2000 BECAUSE IT'S AWESOME AND I WAS SICK OF THE COLD WEATHER BUT SHE DUMPED ME FOR A CUBAN GUY AND MOVED TO FLORIDA BECAUSE HE LOOKED LIKE RICKI MARTIN AND HE WAS 10 YEARS YOUNGER THAN ME WEEEEEEEEEEEP.
ALISON YOU BITCH I HOPE YOU'RE READING THIS SLORE CUNT SHE DEVIL.
Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals (user info) at 2008-06-03 23:00:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You look like the lovechild of [children's TV show character] and [80's police drama secondary character], if [children's TV show character] was a [negative personality trait] and [80's police drama secondary character] was a [sexual insult].
Submitted by ChaosJester (user info) at 2008-06-03 22:57:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Outside of Austin...maybe.
Submitted by Director (user info) at 2008-06-03 22:55:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
BRAND NEW DIRECTOR!
Where in Texas are you from, baldy?