phallo- facts (nsfw) (1805 hits)
Category: Science & EnvironmentalRating: 0.68 on 21 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Jinja Ninja (View user info) at 2008-06-04 17:31:26 EDT
Just ......
1. Smoking can shorten your penis by as much as a centimeter. Erections are all about good bloodflow, and lighting up calcifies blood vessels, stifling erectile circulation. So even if you don't care all that much about your lungs or dying young, spare the li'l guy.
2. Doctors can now grow skin for burn victims using the foreskins of circumcised infants. One foreskin can produce 23,000 square meters, which would be enough to tarp every Major League infield with human flesh.
3. An enlarged prostate gland can cause both erectile dysfunction and premature ejaculation. If you have an unexplained case of either, your doctor's looking forward to checking your prostate. Even if you're not.
4. The average male orgasm lasts 6 seconds. Women get 23 seconds. Which means if women were really interested in equality, they'd make sure we have four orgasms for every one of theirs.
5. The oldest known species with a penis is a hard-shelled sea creature called Colymbosathon ecplecticos. That's Greek for "amazing swimmer with large penis." Which officially supplants Buck Naked as the best porn name, ever.
6. Circumcised foreskin can be reconstructed. Movable skin on the shaft of the penis is pulled toward the tip and set in place with tape. Later, doctors apply plastic rings, caps, and weights. Years can pass until complete coverage is attained. . . . Okay, we'll shut up now.
7. Only one man in 400 is flexible enough to give himself oral pleasure. It's estimated, however, that all 400 have given it their best shot at some point.
8. There are two types of penises. One kind expands and lengthens when becoming erect (a grower). The other appears big most of the time, but doesn't get much bigger after achieving erection (a shower).
9. An international Men's Health survey reports that 79 percent of men have growers, 21 percent have showers.
10. German researchers say the average intercourse lasts 2 minutes, 50 seconds, yet women perceive it as lasting 5 minutes, 30 seconds. Are we that good or that bad?
11. Turns out size does matter: The longer your penis, the better "semen displacement" you'll achieve when having sex with a woman flush with competing sperm. That's according to researchers at the State University of New York, who used artificial phalluses (ahem) to test the "scooping" mechanism of the penis's coronal ridge. Next up: curing cancer.
12. The penis that's been enjoyed by the most women could be that of King Fatefehi of Tonga, who supposedly deflowered 37,800 women between the years 1770 and 1784 -- that's about seven virgins a day. Go ahead, say it: It's good to be king.
13. Better-looking men may have stronger sperm. Spanish researchers showed women photos of guys who had good, average, and lousy sperm -- and told them to pick the handsomest men. The women chose the best sperm producers most often.
14. No brain is necessary for ejaculation. That order comes from the spinal cord. Finding a living vessel for said ejaculation, however, takes hours of careful thought and, often, considerable amounts of alcohol.
15. The most common cause of penile rupture: vigorous masturbation. Some risks are just worth taking.
the photo is nice though, is it art do you think?
hah.jpg (11 kB) [image/jpg]
User Reviews
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-06-05 12:55:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I am pretty sure that Techno no longer actually owns this account.
Her posts were cool, and she'd comment and stuff.
No, these last couple of posts have not been ratty.
So 'fess up, who stole the account??
Come on, a cut and paste??
Submitted by messmind (user info) at 2008-06-05 12:23:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by BeforeEmily (user info) at 2008-06-05 11:21:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Fuck you.
Submitted by czwij (user info) at 2008-06-05 07:58:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
good
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-06-05 07:08:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by centaur (user info) at 2008-06-05 09:28:41 BST (#)
Ranking: -2
http://www.seansite.net/odds-and-ends/dont-know-about-your-penis
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While interesting and all... I can't give a direct cut n paste anything other than a -2die.
Submitted by sexualchocolate1984 (user info) at 2008-06-05 07:00:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm not gonna stop smoking, I've got a spare couple of cm's anyway so it's all good.
Nice post, very entertaining.
Submitted by centaur (user info) at 2008-06-05 04:28:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
http://www.seansite.net/odds-and-ends/dont-know-about-your-penis
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While interesting and all... I can't give a direct cut n paste anything other than a -2die.
Submitted by HateMudkips (user info) at 2008-06-04 23:29:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
"Doctors can now grow skin for burn victims using the foreskins of circumcised infants. One foreskin can produce 23,000 square meters, which would be enough to tarp every Major League infield with human flesh. "
well, there's no shortage of skin(cadaver?) for burn victims... use that instead of unnecessarily chopping off the sexual organs of infants
doctors can ALSO make your penis shorter, and sex less pleasurable for both you AND your partner by slicing the foreskin from your penis! AMAZING!
Submitted by HellRazer (user info) at 2008-06-04 21:49:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I <3 my penis.
Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2008-06-04 21:46:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I was watching 'Clerks' the other day, where they talk about trying to suck your own dick, i wouldn't put it past most guys - considering the inventive ways they have come up with to masturbate.
Submitted by matnotharry (user info) at 2008-06-04 20:40:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Yep, having a willy is great
Submitted by Hookhand (user info) at 2008-06-04 19:03:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2008-06-04 18:50:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
berty 'beat' me too it.
yuk yuk
american puns
most of these weren't true of course
Submitted by triangle_man (user info) at 2008-06-04 18:38:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
get to work on your next one
Vaginopedia
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2008-06-04 18:25:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
neat
Submitted by BeforeEmily (user info) at 2008-06-04 18:23:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
If any of these turn out not to be true, -2's for life!
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2008-06-04 18:00:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
What a load of bollocks.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-06-04 17:50:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I like to think you stopped smoking for the reason in number 1.
No, wait...
Submitted by Ballare (user info) at 2008-06-04 17:48:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I had a friend once get all excited about how he quit smoking and he'd noticed a significant improvement in Jay Jr.'s size and acrobatics.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-06-04 17:43:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hey Techno!
7 rocked my funny bone especially.
:)
Submitted by ICO (user info) at 2008-06-04 17:40:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Some were interesting, some weren't.