breastfeeding sucks (kinda NSFW pic) (2153 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 0.39 on 38 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by esceptico (View user info) at 2008-06-05 19:02:11 EDT
Im from chile, where most of the people here are catholic or christian, so you can imagine how things work down here. Lots of kids and babies are to be found in every single fucking street at every single fucking place at every single time. Don't misuderstand me, im a teacher so i hate kids even more than you do.
I was having lunch with an american friend of mine at this cool seafood place in this big flea market in santiago. We were expecting our plates when this big family sat next to us. So this lady drew a baby out of nowhere and started breastfeeding the bastard in public, thing that i can tolerate (come on, it's a baby) nor the fact that she didn't cover the boobie that this little fucker was sucking.
So we were expecting our food while this lady was flashing the saggy old boob being sucked, not by ron jeremy, but a baby.
maybe it's not a big deal for us, my friend was kinda shocked to the fact that this lady had no shame "come on they look like pigs" she said. After this contemplation and somewhat deep analysis she said something interesting "this reminds us to the fact we're all mammals... come on, we've all been there" i said "come on, you sound like a phylosophy teacher that i once had at university". Angie said "excuse me?"
well, i had this female teacher at university that one time started ranting about how much she loved the fact of seeing a baby being breastfed. She said "I feel like everytime a baby starts feeding from mother's breast, the baby is sucking the life out of her. In a way this baby is being enlightened by mother's love and life by the simple act of breastfeeding"
While some of my classmates were doing some deep thinking and agreeing with her by nodding their useless heads, i started thinking how much i hated this class, i hated my classmates and above all i hated this fucking teacher always trying to make fun of us because she was "smarter" and we were a bunch of kids just out of school that only have read a couple of books and played videogames while masturbating or watching "married with children"... yeah it was popular down here...
"lady... it's just milk" i said out of nowhere
"im sorry?" she said somehow offended by my comment, all my classmates were looking at me totally serious giving me this angry look
"ahhmmm.... well... i just... eehhmmm... no, nothing..."
The class just continued, they kept agreeing with every single thing she said, i went home, i masturbated and 10 years later i was at this restaurant with my friend watching this lady's boob inviting us to remind ourselves that we were babies once and our moms have had their tits sucked by a bunch of men before and after we arrived to this world.
User Reviews
Submitted by stone8946 (user info) at 2009-02-11 12:13:58 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
You're obviously not from Chile, you're command of English language slang and colloquialisms is too good for a native Spanish speaker.
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2008-09-13 20:33:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for this line...
"Don't misuderstand me, im a teacher so i hate kids even more than you do."
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2008-06-10 15:35:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by JustAnotherStudent (user info) at 2008-06-06 22:34:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Ok, first, breastfeeding doesn't make boobs saggy.. weight/pregnancy makes them saggy. I've had saggy tits since I was about 12 because I'm a fatass.
Second, I FUCKING HATE BREASTFEEDING. I tried it for one miserable week, feeling like my nipples were being rubbed by glass, the screaming of my child because he wasn't getting enough milk and was constantly hungry, the bleeding (my nipple literally split in two). Thank god for whatever group of people came up with Gentlease Lipil. My kid's healthy and happy, and I'm not having to breastfeed him.
Third... I am obsessed with latinos, you sexy? I haven't dated an American in.. hmm.. 4 years.. it's been all latinos and Africans...
(P.S. my nipple has healed and I'm so drunk I am shocked I can type)
Submitted by TheBrad (user info) at 2008-06-06 16:09:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2008-06-06 15:36:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
That's Ron Jeremy, you stupid fuck.
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oops i always get my porn stars confused.
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2008-06-06 15:36:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
That's Ron Jeremy, you stupid fuck.
Submitted by TheBrad (user info) at 2008-06-06 15:24:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Ltap (user info) at 2008-06-06 14:55:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
This might have got by with no review at all, but the naked latino man gave me enough motivational dislike to -2. However, +2 for not falling for the bullshit about how it's some special connection.
__________________________________________________________________________________________________
That's John Holmes.
And saggy brestfeeding boobs make me sad.
Submitted by Ltap (user info) at 2008-06-06 14:55:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
This might have got by with no review at all, but the naked latino man gave me enough motivational dislike to -2. However, +2 for not falling for the bullshit about how it's some special connection.
Submitted by creep_firebombing (user info) at 2008-06-06 08:36:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This post was alarming on no less than 17 levels.
Submitted by czwij (user info) at 2008-06-06 08:21:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-06-05 22:11:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I can't breast feed my kids. My boobs are so big, the midwife feared I would suffocate them.
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tempted to disbelieve, feely.
send fotographic proof to vilem.marak.at.gmail.com
nice camwhore, el dude
Submitted by Banjo (user info) at 2008-06-06 07:13:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I remember my big sister taking nappies out and changing my niece on a table in front of everybody in the middle of a restaurant.
"Fucking yuck," I thought. "People have to eat of that!"
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2008-06-06 07:12:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2008-06-06 12:04:54 BST (#)
Ranking: -2
El hombre en el asiento a través del pasillo durmió profundamente. Los miembros, hinchado y peludo, colgó suavemente por sus lados, oscilando con el autobús como retumbó y desvió aún más al sur. Yo no podría dormir. Yo no podría conseguir cómodo. Mi espalda dolió, no apoyado por la silla, y la piel dio culatazo en la irritación en el rozándose la materia
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Babelfish is hilarious
The man in the seat through corridor slept deeply. The members, hairy inflation and, hung smoothly by their sides, oscillating with the bus as it resounded and it turned aside still more to the south. I could not sleep. I could not obtain comfortable. My back hurt, not supported by the chair, and the skin gave to recoil in the irritation in being close the matter.
HAIRY INFLATION! HAHAHAHA!
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-06-06 07:09:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Hurty, if you lived nearer, I'd be tempted to come over and spank you with my slipper.
Ah, Tesco is here!
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2008-06-06 07:04:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
El hombre en el asiento a través del pasillo durmió profundamente. Los miembros, hinchado y peludo, colgó suavemente por sus lados, oscilando con el autobús como retumbó y desvió aún más al sur. Yo no podría dormir. Yo no podría conseguir cómodo. Mi espalda dolió, no apoyado por la silla, y la piel dio culatazo en la irritación en el rozándose la materia.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-06-06 06:49:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
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Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-06-06 09:53:39 BST (#)
Ranking: -2
Upper case
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Jesus, FJ, give the dude a break, didn't you see he is Chili-ish, english isn't his first language.
You try and translate one of your stories into Chili-ish.
Upper and lower case = least of your worries! :)
Submitted by matnotharry (user info) at 2008-06-06 06:47:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-06-06 03:11:46 BST (#)
Ranking: 1
I can't breast feed my kids. My boobs are so big, the midwife feared I would suffocate them.
Welcome.
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Death by breasts... It's like a wet dream come true
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-06-06 04:53:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Upper case
Submitted by centaur (user info) at 2008-06-06 03:45:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
shit, rubbish, crap, wank, horrible, terrible, trash, junk, wate of time.
Submitted by beeltea (user info) at 2008-06-06 03:22:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
oh god damn it, and then there was naked guy at the end. Terrible!
Submitted by beeltea (user info) at 2008-06-06 03:19:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
aren't catholics also Christians? Or did I miss something during my thirteen years of parochial school?
Sorry I didn't make it past your first sentence.
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2008-06-06 03:16:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Welcome to Uber!
Submitted by X54 (user info) at 2008-06-05 23:30:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I laughed. The only line I couldn't make heads or tails of was this one: "So this lady drew a baby out of nowhere and started breastfeeding the bastard in public, thing that i can tolerate (come on, it's a baby) nor the fact that she didn't cover the boobie that this little fucker was sucking."
"I feel like everytime a baby starts feeding from mother's breast, the baby is sucking the life out of her," reminded me of this song:
He shakes his death rattle
Spittle on his bib
And I don't do the dishes
I throw them in the crib
I'm eating you
I'm overfed
Your milk's in my mouth
It makes me sick
Now I've stumbled here
Failed to make it mine
They say I'm plump
But I throw up all the time
I'm eating you
I'm overfed
Your milk's in my mouth
It makes me sick
Do you fake it for me like I
Do you fake it for me like I
Do you fake it for me like I
My baby's in her arms
Crawling up her legs
Like a liar at a witch trial
You look good for your age
I'm eating you
I'm overfed
You milk's in my mouth
It makes me sick
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2008-06-05 23:27:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Meh.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-06-05 22:11:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I can't breast feed my kids. My boobs are so big, the midwife feared I would suffocate them.
Welcome.
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2008-06-05 21:29:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2008-06-05 19:20:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Not at all a bad first post. Bievenido a Uber, y +2 skepticism
Submitted by PayMeLater (user info) at 2008-06-05 21:24:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2008-06-05 21:03:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Makes me cry below.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-06-05 20:33:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Fuck you and everyone who left a review below this one.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2008-06-05 20:19:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
you're right, apollo.
if everyone around here was as welcoming and reasonable as yourself this forum just might survive.
i'll help you take back uber, starting with this post!
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2008-06-05 19:59:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Que?
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2008-06-05 19:52:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
give the guy a chance scourge, jeez.
+2 kicker of all ass
Submitted by esceptico (user info) at 2008-06-05 19:48:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
yeah, i wanna be the new pope
thanx for the comments
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2008-06-05 19:48:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
that may be, but it doesn't make this post a 'kicker of all ass' by any stretch of the imagination. sometimes caul's language usage is fucked all to hell (not that often, in defense of our favourite esl canuckian, but sometimes) and yet he can still make a post that progresses along something that can remotely resemble a human train of thought.
this wandered from one stupid place to the next and ended just about in the middle of nowhere.
WAY TO TRY AND LOOK REASONABLE TO PAINT ME AS THE BAD GUY.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2008-06-05 19:43:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
it's pretty clear that the author is ESL.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2008-06-05 19:39:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
is english your 15th language?
or were you just temporarily retarded when you wrote this?
Submitted by ChaosJester (user info) at 2008-06-05 19:27:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I'm sort of torn on the whole public breastfeeding bit.
I mean, on the one hand...TITIES!!!
On the other, however, they're rarely the sort of mammary glands that one would ordinarily wish to view. Plus they're in the process of being mauled by a ferocious proto-human.
SUCH a tragedy.
In short, it's a conundrum.
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2008-06-05 19:20:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Not at all a bad first post. Bievenido a Uber, y +2 skepticism.
Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2008-06-05 19:12:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I'm kinda confused. This didn't really make much sense to me.
+1 welcome to uber