Doomsday Vault? (948 hits)
Category: Science & EnvironmentalRating: 1.1 on 36 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Director (View user info) at 2008-06-06 22:07:41 EDT
http://60minutes.yahoo.com/segment/177/doomsday_vault?comment_offset=11#comments
The country of Norway has, apparently, built a massive vault in the coldest spot possible up in the great frozen north.
It is nearly impenetrable by mankind and they call it "Fort Knox On Ice."
Inside are "hundreds of millions" of seeds from "over 100 countries" worldwide. The reasoning for it all is in case we ever finally do nuke ourselves to oblivion, or there is some natural end of the world catastrophe, etc., etc., etc.
All those seeds are assembled and kept safe in an effort to "protect the world's fragile food supply."
I thought it interesting that Norway built it, and our very own Bill Gates paid to ship all the seeds to it.
I often wonder what I miss out on by being a poor, average Joe.
Darn rich people. They don tell me nuffin'.
Anyway. Great idea, right?! It's the Noah's Ark of the seed world! And don't all Norwegian men have long flowing white beards? Coincidence? I think not.
I digress. This is a marvelous idea in only one scenario that I can think of; say our friends in South Australia suddenly had some horrendous disaster that completely destroyed their wineries: all grape vines and seeds are utterly destroyed.
No problem! Mr. Kevin Rudd just places a collect call to Mr. Jens Stoltenberg in Norway, explains the situation, promises a hundred million barrels of Lindemens Chardonnay as collateral, and presto voila! Good old Jens slings a few thousand grape seeds towards Oz to replenish those drunken cocksmiths down under.
The only problems I see here are:
1) If there is, say, a nuclear holocaust, who the fuck is going to be alive to replant shit?
2) How the fuck are they going to get into "Fort Knox On Ice?"
3) Even if there are people left alive, they'll be the survivalist nutjobbers from the Virginia hills, and they aren't going to have a goddamn clue as to how, when or where to plant a Transylvanian blood turnip seed. All they've been planning for is shooting the local government officials as they approach the compound, and looking for biblical passages justifying fucking their sisters and daughters in the End Times.
For, you know, the future of mankind.
ANYWAY.
All this got me to thinking, and while I know none of you appreciate that, just hear me out. Seeds are fine and dandy. Seeds are marvy. Seeds are the salvation of us all. But, guys...
What about pussy? We have GOT to save the pussy!
RIGHT?
Man, what if something happens to Mexico, and every single little Senorita with a spicy temper and a firm brown ass is wiped off the planet forever?
THIS CANNOT STAND.
What if there is another even more massive Tsunami, and western men...I mean...mankind is suddenly deprived of all those little slant eyed hookers with firm little titties and pert little mouths?
We need to do something about this, and do something fast. I propose that we, the Ubersite population, get a Save The Pussy Foundation going. Most of us are virgins anyway, and live at home in the basement, so we've got lots of spare change lying around from our bus-boy jobs.
I know I do.
So here's what I suggest. We should all send our pennies to someone from Ubersite who is reasonably trustworthy, who knows a thing or two about finance and investment, and who has actually been laid at least once and might be able convince bitches...I mean women....to go to the North Pole and lock themselves in a vault to wait for the end of the world.
It can't be me. I'd just blow all your money on booze and Detroit crack whores, but surely there are some among us who have tasted the sweet, forbidden nectar of pootnanny at least ONCE in their lives, right?
Right?
Let's do it!
GO TEAM UBERSITE RAA!
User Reviews
Submitted by DasHeer (user info) at 2008-06-11 11:51:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2008-06-10 15:28:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
.
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2008-06-10 15:28:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2008-06-10 09:33:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Aren't you dead yet, loser?
Submitted by silverbolt (user info) at 2008-06-09 15:46:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Please die idiot.
Submitted by The_Drake (user info) at 2008-06-09 11:00:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I've lost my virginity!
But that means I have a kid...and therefore no extra money.
*sigh*
Submitted by jamix420 (user info) at 2008-06-08 11:23:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
You should be a politician, man....;)
Submitted by firefly (user info) at 2008-06-08 10:43:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by kristy (user info) at 2008-06-08 03:17:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
You're a real idiot.
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2008-06-07 16:38:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
So do they or do they not have marijuana and opium poppy seeds? I'd be interested to know if they're altruistically saving species or just making paranoia-induced moral judgements.
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2008-06-07 12:20:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Director (user info) at 2008-06-07 11:36:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You should read it lungy. It's a veritable masterpiece.
I don't like or dislike anyone on this website. They're words on a screen. Well. I "like" you. Will you marry me?
------
Only if you're really a woman. And attractive...both physically and spiritually. And only if I get divorced. And only if my kid likes you. And only if you start drinking again. I'm currently married to a teetotaler. I don't need that again.
Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2008-06-07 11:50:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Director (user info) at 2008-06-07 07:29:45 PDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Nice Uberboard message, worm. I bet all of Britain sleeps easy, knowing someone with your maturity level is a father.
=====
Uber baffles me in that way constantly, it seems like the people that act the most retarded on this site breed.
Makes sense, I guess.
Didn't read this.
Submitted by centaur (user info) at 2008-06-07 11:47:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Director (user info) at 2008-06-07 10:29:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Nice Uberboard message, worm. I bet all of Britain sleeps easy, knowing someone with your maturity level is a father.
------
accusations accusations.
The Euro 2008 Tournament starts in 13 minutes.
Put your meltdown on hold and watch a real sport.
Submitted by Director (user info) at 2008-06-07 11:36:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You should read it lungy. It's a veritable masterpiece.
I don't like or dislike anyone on this website. They're words on a screen. Well. I "like" you. Will you marry me?
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2008-06-07 10:40:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I "like" both Director and Beano, but kinda wish they'd have a beer and chill the fuck out. Sorry, Director. Not for the suggestion of you having a beer, but for the fact I didn't read your post. Have a +1 on good faith.
Submitted by Director (user info) at 2008-06-07 10:29:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Nice Uberboard message, worm. I bet all of Britain sleeps easy, knowing someone with your maturity level is a father.
Submitted by Ltap (user info) at 2008-06-07 09:55:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Director (user info) at 2008-06-07 05:37:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
When beano reads this, he's going to ring the cowbell. The yak will waddle towards him with that vacant yak look in her eyes, hoping she's getting some oats, and Beany boy will say, "LOOK AT THIS! I HATE THIS GUY! I HATE HIM I HATE HIM I HATE HIM I HATE HIM! I'm going to look up more of his personal information!"
You're beyond pathetic, even. And too fucking stupid to even get the right information. Way to make your country proud, dipshit.
Nighty nighty yak fucker. Have a nice life.
----------------------------
I find your hate amusing and irrelevant and I like beano better. He's a bit closer to a normal human, I think.
Submitted by centaur (user info) at 2008-06-07 05:50:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by centaur (user info) at 2008-06-07 04:57:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
meltdown below.
Submitted by Director (user info) at 2008-06-07 05:37:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
When beano reads this, he's going to ring the cowbell. The yak will waddle towards him with that vacant yak look in her eyes, hoping she's getting some oats, and Beany boy will say, "LOOK AT THIS! I HATE THIS GUY! I HATE HIM I HATE HIM I HATE HIM I HATE HIM! I'm going to look up more of his personal information!"
You're beyond pathetic, even. And too fucking stupid to even get the right information. Way to make your country proud, dipshit.
Nighty nighty yak fucker. Have a nice life.
Submitted by Director (user info) at 2008-06-07 05:34:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Can't think of anything better below. Hopes internet strangers worldwide agree with him. Sad, pathetic, repulsive, uber obsessed, Yak fucker below.
Submitted by centaur (user info) at 2008-06-07 04:57:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
meltdown below.
Submitted by Director (user info) at 2008-06-07 04:35:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
In fact, didn't you go back and re-up your ratings with your own alters?
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
Fucking loser.
I saw your camwore beano. You should be thankful you've got a Yak at home. Spend some time with her. Feed her some hay. Milk her on occassion. Otherwise she's gonna leave you for this fellah: http://www.ubersite.com/m/81202
You don't want that, do you?
Submitted by Director (user info) at 2008-06-07 04:31:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by centaur (user info) at 2008-06-07 03:48:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Everything you ever wanted to know about Director
User id: 28859
Registered on or around: 2006-10-03 22:24:45 EDT
# Messages posted: 190
# Reviews written: 4044
# Times these posts have been reviewed: 6799
# Hits: 155378
Average rating of all messages: *****0.45*****
LOL
==============
You are sad beyond measure. I don't give a fuck you cut my rating in half with your shitty alters. The fact that you HAVE so many alters says more about you than my OH SO IMPORTAN rating can say about me.
Dude. Get off the computer once in a while. Baptize your child, the Anti-Christ in Satanic fire. SOMETHING. Go fuck your Water-Buffalo/Yak hybrid. I'd take care of bidness for you, but my dick can't handle the acid that cunt has in her twat.
Submitted by MichaelJackson (user info) at 2008-06-07 04:25:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Scandinavians are impervious to nuclear holocaust... duh
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-06-07 04:21:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
lol
Submitted by centaur (user info) at 2008-06-07 04:02:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Wildman (user info) at 2008-06-07 03:55:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Everything you ever wanted to know about centaur
User id: 286
Average rating of all messages: -0.17
^^^^^^^^^^^^
FUBAR
-----------
Point?
this shitty alter has neg rating?
wow.
Submitted by Wildman (user info) at 2008-06-07 03:57:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Everything you ever wanted to know about centaur
User id: 286
Average rating of all messages: -0.17
^^^^^^^^^
No LOL
Submitted by centaur (user info) at 2008-06-07 03:48:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Everything you ever wanted to know about Director
User id: 28859
Registered on or around: 2006-10-03 22:24:45 EDT
# Messages posted: 190
# Reviews written: 4044
# Times these posts have been reviewed: 6799
# Hits: 155378
Average rating of all messages: *****0.45*****
LOL
Submitted by Director (user info) at 2008-06-07 03:21:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Pathetic obsessive psychopathic freak below.
You never did say how the Anti-Christ and the Yak are holding up old boy?
Submitted by centaur (user info) at 2008-06-07 02:34:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
No Comment
Submitted by beer-turtle (user info) at 2008-06-07 02:24:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
this is not news...
been hearing about this for years
Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals (user info) at 2008-06-07 00:11:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I love how apollo tried to spread Scandinavia's credit to other European countries like that shitty island.
Also, fuck Australia. "Aussies" are a bunch of dumb faggots. If i had my way Indonesia would invade right now, and I'd be on a Queensland beach, laying out a welcome mat.
Submitted by X54 (user info) at 2008-06-06 23:05:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
It's a good idea, but I think the hardest part is figuring out how to "convince bitches...I mean women....to go to the North Pole and lock themselves in a vault to wait for the end of the world." I'd suggest a more surreptitious approach. It would be easier to convince them to go to the North Pole for some other reason. Once they're there, it would be easy enough to knock them over the head and drag them by the hair into the freezer. (I'll volunteer for that part.) We just need a clever ploy to get them up there, maybe something about a new shopping mall or something.
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2008-06-06 22:57:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2008-06-06 22:54:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
don't worry, Europe will save the world.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-06-06 22:35:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
60 minutes did a great segment on that.
As a fellow fan of firm brown Mexican asses, I suggest we... wait, I'm not writing what I was about to write in a public forum.