A feeling of folklore (1051 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 0.55 on 76 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by JesterLilt (View user info) at 2008-06-11 05:36:02 EDT
It's a beautiful sunny day and on days like this I get a bit homesick. I think I possibly come from one of the most picturesque places in the world. I wouldn't say the most interesting, its quiet, life is slow and not much happens. In the winter it is stark, grey and unwelcoming but in the summer, particularly in June the sea is blue, the sky bluer, perilous cliffs stand guard majestically and the green fields roll over the archipelago of islands like a finely woven duvet.
Every time I go home, the people are the same, the same bars, the same shops... I like it that way, its something constant in my life. When I go home I know I will go back and find it exactly the way I left it. I can walk into a pub and strike up a conversation with somebody I've known since I was a kid and the conversation will pick up exactly where it left off.
History is slicked over every crevice and orifice, you can hear it in the wind, a barely audible whisper of society mostly forgot, of hard struggles, epic tales, folklore, music and magic. I love folklore and here is one of my favourite childhood stories.
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Assipattle and the Mester Stoor Worm
In Orkney lore, there was an evil creature known as the Mester Stoor Worm.
An air of mystery surrounded the origin of the Stoor Worm but it was generally believed that he had been hatched into life by a malignant spirit.
Wherever he came from, he was placed in the depths of the sea, where he was destined to become "one of the nine curses that plagued mankind".
The Stoor Worm's fetid breath was poisonous to any living thing, and he destroyed ships like eggshells.
With his massive forked tongue he could, at a whim, sweep entire cities into the sea or crush the largest castle and suck every living thing into his gaping mouth.
Whenever the Stoor Worm lay with his head near a kingdom it was expected that the people of that unfortunate land had to satisfy his terrible hunger and supply the creature with food.
Every Saturday at sunrise, the Stoor worm would wake, open his cavernous mouth and yawn nine times. He would then demand a meal of seven virgins for as the old tales record: "although he was a venomous beast he had a dainty taste."
Now, a long time ago, the Stoor Worm set his awful head near the shore of an ancient country and as usual, the folk of that country had to feed the beast every Saturday at sunrise.
Needless to say the unfortunate people of this land soon grew tired of giving up their daughters, watching them being devoured in the pitiless jaws of the worm so they took the advice of an old wizard. This wizard said to the folk that if the King's daughter were fed to the Worm, he would leave and trouble them no more.
On hearing this, the King grew sorry. The Princess was his only daughter and he loved the child dearly.
Nevertheless, his duty to the Kingdom was clear and he was forced to agree - to save the land his beloved daughter should go to the Stoor worm. The grief-stricken King pleaded tearfully against this judgment and was granted ten weeks respite - ten weeks in which he sent couriers to all corners of the land seeking a hero to slay the mighty Stoor Worm in the hope that he might save his daughter.
The King declared that the man who could slay the Stoor Worm would be given the kingdom and the famous sword Sikkersnapper, that he had inherited from Odin himself. Many valiant warriors attended the call but upon seeing the great beast all but twelve fled. These twelve brave men were not successful.
On the last day, a hero arrived.
An unlikely hero in the form of a common farm boy named Assipattle. The youngest of seven sons, Assipattle lived with his father and mother and brothers on a farm by a burn. All his family worked hard on the farm save Assipattle, who could be persuaded to do little. He spent his days lying beside the big open fire in the kitchen caring little when be became covered in the thick peat ash.
Assipattle's mother and father despaired of him and his brothers cursed him for a fool, kicking and beating him regularly. The entire family would laugh out loud when Assipattle recounted his fantastic tales and sagas in which he was the hero of countless incredible battles.
Upon hearing of the King's plea, Assipattle had slipped away from the farm set out to sea in his little boat carrying only a bucket in which lay a smouldering peat from his hearth. As he approached the slumbering monster he could see its head as big as a mountain with eyes like dark round lochs.
The sun began to rise and as it was Saturday, the creature began to yawn. Assipattle steered closer as the creature yawned a second time. With each yawn a vast tide of water was swept down into the Worm's throat until finally, when he was close enough one of these waves swept Assipattle's tiny little boat into the Stoor Worm's maw.
Assipattle and his boat were carried through a cavernous mouth, then down a long throat, through twisting passages and deep dark tunnels. Mile after mile he was whirled, with sea water gurgling all around him until at last the current lessened and the water level dropped. The boat grounded and Assipattle knew he only had a short time before the Stoor Worm yawned again so climbed from his boat and ran as he had never run before.
Turning one corner after another he finally came across the creature's liver. Pulling out a "muckle ragger" (large knife), Assipattle cut a hole in the liver and stuffed the smouldering peat into the wound. He blew on the peat for all he was worth, despairing that it "wid no tak" but finally it took light. With a crackle and a splutter the Worm's monstrous liver began to burn and was soon blazing like a "Johnsmas Bonfire"
Assipattle ran back to his boat and managed to clambering aboard just in time for the burning liver had made the Stoor Worm retch. A flood of water from its stomach picked up the little boat and set it hurtling back towards the Worm's mouth. With a spray of water, Assipattle was spewed from the Stoor Worm's mouth and hurtled back over the sea before landing safely on the shore.
Once back on shore, Assipattle watched as the fire grew bigger.
Black smoked billowed from the monster's nostrils and in his agony his forked tongue shot out and caught hold of one of the horns of the moon. Fortunately it slipped from moon and fell with such a crash that it made a deep rift on the earth.
The tide rushed into the rift and became the Baltic Sea. The Stoor Worm twisted and writhed in torment, flinging his head up into the sky. Every time it fell back to earth the whole world shook and groaned.
With each fall, teeth dropped from the vile, foaming mouth. The first lot of falling teeth became the Orkney Islands with the next forming the Shetland Islands.
Last of all, when the Stoor Worm was almost dead, the Faroe Islands fell with an almighty splash.
In the end the creature coiled itself together tightly into a huge mass that was said to become the far country of Iceland. Once the sky had cleared and the sun shone again, the King took Assipattle into his arms and called him his son.
A week later, Assipattle and the Princess were married in the Royal Palace and never was there such a wedding and never shall there be one like it again for the folk rejoiced that the Stoor Worm was finally dead.
http://www.orkneyjar.com/folklore/stoor.htm
User Reviews
Submitted by psikosismc (user info) at 2008-10-11 15:03:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by devildog (user info) at 2008-09-04 15:23:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Great post.
Submitted by Naplander (user info) at 2008-08-30 14:48:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by bubba69 (user info) at 2008-08-24 15:50:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by spidy (user info) at 2008-08-18 15:38:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Linus is a jerk
Submitted by Linus (user info) at 2008-08-18 15:20:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 BOOM -- Dunno how much this is gonna do since I've +2d most of your posts anyway =P
Submitted by JohnnyACDC (user info) at 2008-08-12 07:18:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Interesting eh?
Submitted by artemisia (user info) at 2008-07-29 03:36:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by myshit (user info) at 2008-07-23 04:21:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Retal is fun !!
Submitted by shadow (user info) at 2008-06-17 17:30:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I envy you.
Whenever I go "home" or to any of those distant places I once called home, they've gone and built some shopping mall or housing complex.
Built Luxury Condos right on the lake where we used to drink and make trouble.
Built a shopping complex on the lonely road that used to lead to my mother's.
Built an industrial park in the little valley between the deep river and the broad highway.
It's all rubbish now.
Submitted by Banjo (user info) at 2008-06-13 09:59:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
'fraid not F.J he's a scallop diver amongst other things. Hand picked scallops, a delicacy selling for lots of money. He wants a website but doesn't want to pay any money for it. I said I'd do it with a health warning that it will both work and probably look half decent but it will be no masterpiece in the cyberworld and fairly basic such as my part-time talents are.
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-06-13 09:39:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Is your brother's website any good? Is it a rival Serious Writer's Forum?
http://www.ubersite.co.uk/ is available!
Submitted by Banjo (user info) at 2008-06-13 09:27:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
That's it, I'm going to cry!!!!! 2 hrs spent pissing about with something I don't save it and Flash crashes. Buggering bollocksing shitting hell nothing annoys me worse than something like that.
I was busy animating a scallop shell for my bros new website, it was looking so pretty following some fractal inspiration. I guess I'm going to have to start over. What a fucking pain in the arse.
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-06-13 08:59:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Well, don't be too long over it. My ennui is epic.
Submitted by Banjo (user info) at 2008-06-13 08:56:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm working on something at the moment... or an idea at least. TheBarron aka HBTS has inspired me although when inspired I usually end up posting something completely different.
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-06-13 08:44:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Write a story Banjo. I am bored.
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2008-06-12 11:52:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-06-11 08:25:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
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Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-06-11 13:21:07 BST (#)
Ranking: 2
Apparently buffalo mozzarella (or Mozzarella di Bufala Campana) is made from water buffalo milk!
http://www.fornobravo.com/brick_oven_cooking/pizza_ingredients/mozzarella/mozzarella1.html
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Well roll me a fag and say I'm smokin'!
I'll be buggered.
I thought the Yanks had all but wiped out the buffalo. Crazy 'mericans.
I wonder if you can milk llamas, camels and yaks?
you can milk pretty much anything with nipples.
there are buffalo in SD too, mostly at custer state park. many many buffalo ranches though.
Submitted by Banjo (user info) at 2008-06-12 04:07:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I haven't read it no, I didn't even realise there was a book but now I do I'm heading down the bookshop to buy it!
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2008-06-11 22:00:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
have you read battle royale? i saw the movie and didn't like it much, but that's probably because i LOVED the book
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2008-06-11 15:56:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Lovely
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2008-06-11 15:53:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
thought has been pursued, not as a means but as an end--- the poem, the painting, the reverie has been sufficient of itself
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2008-06-11 15:41:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Excellent.
Submitted by Banjo (user info) at 2008-06-11 14:33:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-06-11 13:45:42 BST (#)
Ranking: 2
I really want to go to that place up north with the huge circle of ancient standing stones. Can't remember what it's called but it looks magical.
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The Ring of Brodgar or the Standing Stones of Stenness.
http://www.orkneyjar.com/history/brodgar/
Beautiful place... can't imagine why I didn't shove a pic of it up here. Big hippy fests at Brodgar during the solstices. Amazing nights.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-06-11 12:30:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
:)
teehee
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-06-11 12:29:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I heard that.
*shakes fist*
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-06-11 12:26:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2008-06-11 16:24:50 BST (#)
Ranking: 1
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/American_Bison
3000-3500 Wild Buffalo in Yellowstone
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Oh, I guess what I learned from the Simpsons was almost correct.
And thanks too, Pandora.
(FJ probably doesn't wash his cock very well, experima, that is what gives his chick the nasties)
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-06-11 12:07:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I don't know the specifics, but its something to do with the bladder getting bruised and then an infection spreading.
'Tisn't very nice at all.
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2008-06-11 12:06:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
well, that was implied...but i just wondered why it would cause cysts of all things. wtf.
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-06-11 12:02:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i also hate to ask but what do you mean you cause cystitis, fj?
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It can be caused by lots of rough sex.
I'll leave it at that.
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2008-06-11 11:54:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i really enjoyed this, and the photos were very cool too.
nice post. i'd never heard of this story, and now i have!
i also hate to ask but what do you mean you cause cystitis, fj?
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2008-06-11 11:24:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/American_Bison
3000-3500 Wild Buffalo in Yellowstone
Submitted by pandora (user info) at 2008-06-11 11:21:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-06-11 08:25:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
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Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-06-11 13:21:07 BST (#)
Ranking: 2
Apparently buffalo mozzarella (or Mozzarella di Bufala Campana) is made from water buffalo milk!
http://www.fornobravo.com/brick_oven_cooking/pizza_ingredients/mozzarella/mozzarella1.html
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Well roll me a fag and say I'm smokin'!
I'll be buggered.
I thought the Yanks had all but wiped out the buffalo. Crazy 'mericans.
I wonder if you can milk llamas, camels and yaks?
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Water buffalos are mostly from Asia. We don't have those in the U.S., but I have seen regular buffalos on wildlife reserves. I don't think there are any living wild anymore.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2008-06-11 11:13:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Agent Bork: Chief! Ya know that guy whose camper they were whackin' off in?
Agent Fleming: Bork, you're a federal agent! You represent the United States Government! Never end a sentence with a preposition.
Agent Bork: Oh, uh... Ya know that guy in whose camper they... I... I mean, that guy off in whose camper they were whacking?
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2008-06-11 11:03:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Wow, the snooozefest on this campsite's post is the biggest fucking reviews EVER
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2008-06-11 11:01:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Wow, the campsite on this post's reviews is the biggest fucking snoozefest EVER
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2008-06-11 10:54:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
ahem Wow, the campsite on this post's reviews is the biggest fucking snoozefest EVER
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2008-06-11 10:47:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Well then stop requesting said pictures of my 'junk', and I'll stop
Submitted by GangsterSquid (user info) at 2008-06-11 10:22:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Method please stop e-mailing me pictures of your 'junk'.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2008-06-11 10:19:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Neidhart below
Submitted by GangsterSquid (user info) at 2008-06-11 10:11:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Remember when Apollo was EVER a funny 'brit'?
Yea, me either.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2008-06-11 10:09:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
remember when the brits were funny when they camped?
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2008-06-11 09:48:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Wow, the campsite on this post's reviews is the biggest fucking snoozefest EVER
Submitted by orph (user info) at 2008-06-11 08:53:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Great pictures
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-06-11 08:45:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I really want to go to that place up north with the huge circle of ancient standing stones. Can't remember what it's called but it looks magical.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-06-11 08:25:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
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Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-06-11 13:21:07 BST (#)
Ranking: 2
Apparently buffalo mozzarella (or Mozzarella di Bufala Campana) is made from water buffalo milk!
http://www.fornobravo.com/brick_oven_cooking/pizza_ingredients/mozzarella/mozzarella1.html
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Well roll me a fag and say I'm smokin'!
I'll be buggered.
I thought the Yanks had all but wiped out the buffalo. Crazy 'mericans.
I wonder if you can milk llamas, camels and yaks?
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-06-11 08:21:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Apparently buffalo mozzarella (or Mozzarella di Bufala Campana) is made from water buffalo milk!
http://www.fornobravo.com/brick_oven_cooking/pizza_ingredients/mozzarella/mozzarella1.html
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-06-11 08:20:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Wensleydale cheese with cranberries rules.
Cranberry juice will prevent you from contracting cystitis. I like cranberry juice with orange juice, crushed ice and vodka.
Submitted by Banjo (user info) at 2008-06-11 08:18:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I LOVE cranberry juice. In fact, its amazing with cheese. I love feta cheese, can't stop eating the stuff when I have it even though it is a taste overdose.
Thinking about it, I should have put some pictures of Orkney cheese up there, its to die for.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-06-11 08:16:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
dear God, is buffalo mozzerella really from that huge cow creature then?
I really won't believe it until I see it with my own eyes - a picture of a maid milking a buffalo.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-06-11 08:15:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
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Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-06-11 13:12:48 BST (#)
Ranking: 2
Apparently it is made from 70% sheep's milk and the rest is goat. But is is a 100% taste sensation.
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Thrush is 70% from a sheep???
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-06-11 08:14:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You don't want them Banjo. You have to drink gallons of cranberry juice to clean your system out.
I DETEST cranberry juice. That's why I rarely use the whole thing any more.
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-06-11 08:12:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Apparently it is made from 70% sheep's milk and the rest is goat. But is is a 100% taste sensation.
Submitted by Banjo (user info) at 2008-06-11 08:12:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Olympian sized penis eh? You'll not find many girls would turn down such an attractive challenge.
I think I am lucky, I have neither had cystitis or thrush. Both sound horrifically uncomfortable.
Now I'm closing this subject for good.
Arran, aint ever been there Orph, been to Shetland though, it really is desolate.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-06-11 08:10:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I have always fancied feta with sliced tomatoes drizzled in olive oil.
I will try it. Is it from a goat? I won't eat food from the Devil's familiar.
Also, I hope you took all these pics yourself, Banj ;)
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-06-11 08:05:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Feta is marvellous. Crumbly, creamy, dreamy.
I don't really want to talk about my thrush. I got a lotion and some pills and it went away.
It was my own fault, apparently. My penile proportions are of such Olympian standards that I have a history of causing cystitis, and it all went downhill from there...
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-06-11 08:05:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
What would you rather I discuss, Banj? My milky nipples or engorged lady bits? lol.
In relation to this post, I went and stayed in Lochranza, Isle of Arran. It was one of the most beautiful places I had ever seen. And I was almost gored by a rutting stag.
It was fuckin' huge.
BEAUTIFUL.
Och yes.
Submitted by Banjo (user info) at 2008-06-11 08:01:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
http://www.answers.com/topic/gloup?cat=technology
Less of the thrush already people! Orphelia, I feel for you but you're making my insides want to seek out a new home elsewhere and you're probably hundreds of miles away, no mean feat! Also, cheese is one of my favourite foods, all varieties and I'm going off it warp speed.
Although, man thrush is way worse than lady thrush... ewww!
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-06-11 07:59:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No, seafood sauce - Mayo, ketchup or tomato puree, paprika, cayenne pepper, worcestershire sauce.
I have never had feta. Isn't that a scandal?
Where was your thrush FJ? Did you get it from a dirty whore? :)
Submitted by The_Drake (user info) at 2008-06-11 07:59:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Dude, across the pond they have so much cooler name for shit.
"the hills of hoy", "the brough of birsay", "the shire", etc.
we have "Flint", "Boise" and "Cleveland"
America sucks at naming things.
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-06-11 07:55:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
What are you having, cream cheese, extra lumps? haha.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Feta :o(
*gags*
I hear that salad cream and ketchup makes the best seafood sauce. Allegedly.
I had thrush once, it was painful.
Submitted by Flying_buttmonkey (user info) at 2008-06-11 07:53:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I've always wanted to go to Skara Brae. Now THERE's some history for you.
Farnborough has nothing interesting about it :(
I might make something up, see if it takes.
Hear Ye! Hear ye! And listen well goodmen, of the tale of the Buttmonkey that Flew...
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-06-11 07:51:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
What are you having, cream cheese, extra lumps? haha.
I just had a slice of Passion cake, I most upset. What I took to be walnuts are in fact sultanas. This incident has thrown my entire day into turmoil.
Also, lady ay the deli - adding tomato ketchup and a dash of malt vinegar to mayo does *NOT* magically transform said condiment into seafood sauce. You had the right idea, maybe even got a third of the way there, but you did fail at making my lunch.
Submitted by Banjo (user info) at 2008-06-11 07:49:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2008-06-11 12:22:38 BST (#)
Ranking: 1
Just read the reviews. Apparently it's a 'gloup', and not a 'goup' at all.
Now I am not sure I want to pull out my kayak and paddle up your gloup.
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Yeah, not the most enticing name in the world but a beautiful place nonetheless. I've been down into the cave at twilight and its one of the most breathtaking places I've ever been. I've not done in kayaking up in Orkney because I never cared much for the kayak club up there but done pleaty of scuba diving. Been kayaking a few times down the east coast of Scotland and some beautiful wee caves and inlets to paddle in and out of. Next time I am in Orkney I've made a mental note to brave my fear of the kayak club and go out with them.
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-06-11 07:46:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I use Firefox.
And I am just about to start eating my lunch, so if you are quite finished with your thrush announcements...?
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-06-11 07:41:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
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Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-06-11 11:24:05 BST (#)
Ranking: 2
To see the filename, right-click the image and select 'View Image'. The filename comes up at the top of the window.
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Huh?? I just hover my cursor over the file.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-06-11 07:39:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Didn't that gay, Big Brother loser - who won - come from Orkney? Cameron?
What a twat.
(Thrush update - look away FJ - my pessary is fizzing away nicely in my lady slot, I am almost cured!)
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2008-06-11 07:22:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Just read the reviews. Apparently it's a 'gloup', and not a 'goup' at all.
Now I am not sure I want to pull out my kayak and paddle up your gloup.
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2008-06-11 07:15:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Lovely, but why must you take a beautiful place and give it some utterly godawful name? I mean, take the pic at the lower left. It's certainly a place I'd like to visit and maybe do some on-water exploring. But in order to tell you that, I'd have to say, "Your goup looks pretty enticing. Very lush. I would like to pull out my kayak and paddle up your goup." Takes some of the fun out of it.
Of course, it's probably been called a 'goup' since before the Vikings landed on what is now Maine, so maybe nevermind.
I would like to pull out my kayak and paddle up your goup. Yes I would.
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-06-11 06:58:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
jesus uber is populated by a bunch of whining girls lately.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Quick! Link this comment to the uber board!
*nnnnnnngggghhhhhh*
Aah, that's better.
Submitted by tloshjohnson (user info) at 2008-06-11 06:42:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
jesus uber is populated by a bunch of whining girls lately.
Submitted by Banjo (user info) at 2008-06-11 06:41:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
F.J which posts would those be? He hasn't got any posts... or is that the point?
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-06-11 06:24:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
To see the filename, right-click the image and select 'View Image'. The filename comes up at the top of the window.
Apparently you need to come up with magnificently witty and incisive filenames if you are to keep brilliant minds like tloshjohnson happy. After all, the filenames on HIS posts are always sensations...
Submitted by Banjo (user info) at 2008-06-11 05:50:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
How do I get the filename to come up? Its not very descriptive, just OrkneyPics and seeing as there's a label next to each picture does it really matter? Although the 'Goup at Deerness' should read 'Gloup and Deerness' - happy typos.
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-06-11 05:49:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This was cool, but I do wish you'd written your own version of the story.
The only lore from my hometown regards an over-sized cat that is believed to wander the woods, eating rabbits, called the 'Beast of Balgonie'.
Submitted by tloshjohnson (user info) at 2008-06-11 05:44:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
filename
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2008-06-11 05:41:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
One Sunday morn young Lambton Went a-fishin' in the Wear; An' catched a fish upon his huek, He thowt leuk't varry queer, But whatt'n a kind a fish it was Young Lambton couldn't tell. He waddn't fash to carry it hyem, So he hoyed it in a well.
Whisht! lads, haad yor gobs, Aa'll tell ye aall and aaful story,
Whisht! lads, haad yor gobs, An' Aal tell ye 'bout the worm.
Noo Lambton felt inclined to gan An' fight in foreign wars. He joined a troop o' Knights that cared For neither wounds nor scars, An' off he went to Palestine Where queer things him befel, An' varry seun forgot aboot The queer worm i' the well.
Chorus
But the worm got fat an' growed an' growed, An' growed an aaful size; He'd greet big teeth, a greet big gob, An' greet big goggle eyes. An' when at neets he craaled aboot To pick up bits o'news, If he felt dry upon the road, He milked a dozen coos.
Chorus
This feorful worm wad often feed On calves an' lambs an' sheep, An' swally little bairns alive When they laid doon to sleep. An' when he'd eaten aal he cud An' he had has he's fill, He craaled away an' lapped his tail Seven times roond Pensher Hill.
Chorus
The news of this most aaful worm An' his queer gannins on Seun crossed the seas, gat to the ears Of brave an' bowld Sir John. So hyem he cam an' catched the beast An' cut 'im in three halves, An' that seun stopped he's eatin' bairns, An' sheep an' lambs and calves.
Chorus
So noo ye knaa hoo aall the folks On byeth sides of the Wear Lost lots o' sheep an' lots o' sleep An' lived in mortal feor. So let's hev one to brave Sir John That kept the bairns frae harm Saved coos an' calves by myekin' haalves O' the famis Lambton Worm
Chorus
Noo lads, Aa'll haad me gob, That's aall Aa knaa aboot the story Of Sir John's clivvor job Wi' the aaful Lambton Worm!