Kids suck! (521 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 0 on 15 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Traxadron (View user info) at 2008-06-11 13:14:24 EDT
This week a close friend of a family passed away. When I came by, everyone was sobbing and talking crazy things. I completely understood the situation. Not long ago I was in a similar situation.
For those who don't know, its a very depressing place to be, since you can not help anyone by doing anything.
So I offered to do the best thing I thought I could. I offered to entertain their 5 year old boy who just lost his mother and was running around with a toy in his hand.
We went to get some ice cream, walked in a park and just talked about crap, school, girls, 5 year old conversations.
Then I tool him to Toys R US and got him a few toys. He was happy.
Then I spent 4 hours playing with him which sucked ass because all I wanted to do is get some sleep since I was up from 5 am and worked all day. Thats when I started to suspect my general hate for kids.
This kid is an angel, very bright for his age, but he is still a kid. You can not have a meaningful conversation, no stupid jokes, no sarcasm, no real basis for any of the arguments. Its sort of LaLA GOO GOO lalal tails,....oh look a crane!!!
At the end of the day I dropped him off and fled home. The father was very thankful and I was just glad I grabbed the child and dragged him away from the miserable family status.
I always knew I didn't like other peoples kids. But this experience just confirmed what life would be like with a child.
First 4 years is pure hell!!! No sleep, crying, puking,shitty diapers. NO SEX
After 5 is lots better but then he goes to shcool and you have to make sure he makes it alive every day, makes sure he gets the proper schooling and that he is not lagging. STILL NO SEX
past 10 is just goes into a spin. By then you are used to NO SEX, things might get a little better, unless you forget to pull out again and inherit another baby, at which point go back to first 4 years.
The reasons for having kids are too vague for me. The only benefit I can relate to is, having 3-4 kids to have a big family to have big family dinners and BBQ's trips and such. But that is if you can make it to the end, and your wife is still with you.
I have a small terrier, who I love dearly we do lots of things together. I got him when I broke up with my long time girlfriend. This little puppy saved my life. We take walks together, go to parks, do BBQ with family, my parents love him, he loves my music, loves car drives and is just an awesome well behaved dog. He even uses the pee pads in my house so no picking up crap all over the place. Just an angel. I think of him during the day and I am greeted with all the love in the world when I come home. None of these things a kid will ever deliver, untill the age of 13 and thats maybe. Kids cost 10 times the dogs do.
Fuck kids, and all of the kid having world out there!
User Reviews
Submitted by bob (user info) at 2008-06-14 01:11:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2008-06-11 19:59:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by bob (user info) at 2008-06-11 16:44:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by X54 (user info) at 2008-06-11 15:12:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I agree, kids are a drag. But then, so are dogs and girlfriends. They all need too much attention.
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If you get the right breeds, you'll get a dog who doesn't give a flying fuck about your attention 9/10ths of the time...it's awesome.
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And if you get a cat, it won't give a flying fuck about your attention 10/10ths of the time...which is even more awesome.
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Fuck cats. They're useless...you can even roughhouse with them or you'll kill em.
throw a 70lb husky around and they just bounce back up.
Submitted by JustAnotherStudent (user info) at 2008-06-13 17:06:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Kids are infinitely more fun when they are yours. My kid cracks me up constantly, while other peoples' kids make me want to get my tubes tied.
And the no-sex thing?? That's only if you're married. My boyfriend and I have an 11-month old boy, and we have sex at least 5 times a week. Married people? Only have sex when the chick decides she wants more babies.
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-06-12 06:58:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Kids are like farts.
You enjoy your own, for some strange reason, but other people's are awful.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-06-11 20:04:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
You wouldn't happen to be a kid yourself, would you?
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2008-06-11 19:59:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by bob (user info) at 2008-06-11 16:44:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by X54 (user info) at 2008-06-11 15:12:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I agree, kids are a drag. But then, so are dogs and girlfriends. They all need too much attention.
_____________
If you get the right breeds, you'll get a dog who doesn't give a flying fuck about your attention 9/10ths of the time...it's awesome.
-----
And if you get a cat, it won't give a flying fuck about your attention 10/10ths of the time...which is even more awesome.
Submitted by Ejryuu (user info) at 2008-06-11 17:57:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
You should've posted a picture of your dog.
Submitted by bob (user info) at 2008-06-11 16:44:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by X54 (user info) at 2008-06-11 15:12:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I agree, kids are a drag. But then, so are dogs and girlfriends. They all need too much attention.
_____________
If you get the right breeds, you'll get a dog who doesn't give a flying fuck about your attention 9/10ths of the time...it's awesome.
Submitted by X54 (user info) at 2008-06-11 15:15:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by MANICMOTHER (user info) at 2008-06-11 12:04:33 PDT (#)
Ranking: 0
The reasons for having kids are too vague for me.
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It's called continuation of the species, man.
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No, it's called "sex feels really good." Kids are an unfortunate side effect. How else can you explain why sex feels good?
Submitted by X54 (user info) at 2008-06-11 15:12:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I agree, kids are a drag. But then, so are dogs and girlfriends. They all need too much attention.
Submitted by MANICMOTHER (user info) at 2008-06-11 15:04:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
The reasons for having kids are too vague for me.
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It's called continuation of the species, man.
No one said you have to contribute to the gene pool.
Submitted by Lib (user info) at 2008-06-11 14:34:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I never gave up sex when I was of childbearing years.
That happened when I got old.
Submitted by PioneerBill (user info) at 2008-06-11 13:30:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
So ... you were never a kid?
Submitted by The_Drake (user info) at 2008-06-11 13:28:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by coley (user info) at 2008-06-11 13:23:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
your dog pees on pads in your house? ew. Take the poor bastard outside.
also: if you think everyone who has kids doesn't have sex for ten years, you got a lot to learn....
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Coley and I had a child together and didn't even wait until the afterbirth was out.
and let me tell you...coley had some nasty things inside of her.
Submitted by coley (user info) at 2008-06-11 13:23:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
your dog pees on pads in your house? ew. Take the poor bastard outside.
also: if you think everyone who has kids doesn't have sex for ten years, you got a lot to learn....
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2008-06-11 13:17:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
situation situation offered offered situation offered