Asshole of the Year (958 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.87 on 27 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Chris Rivers-Liebig <reverse88.at.hotmail.com> (View user info) at 2003-08-08 10:10:15 EDT
No this isnt about McBain. *Cue Hallelujah chorus*
Instead, its about me. Im the asshole of the year. Maybe. Allow me to explain...
During March break I was at Mt. Tremblant in Quebec for a bit of snowboarding with my family and a handful of friends. I was on my way up a lift with my sister and her friend, both of whom I like a lot, and we see a kid going down the hill below us. He's only on one ski. I have no idea where the other ski is, but the kid is doing amazing at managing to balance himself. So I, being the nice guy that I am, yell down encouragement. "That's amazing kid!! Good luck!" And thats it. Not sarcastic, not mean. Actual encouragment.
About 10 seconds later, Ive forgotten I ever saw the kid, and am back talking.
At the top of the lift, I get off and my sister's friend trip and I fall over top of her and we lay on the ground about 5 meters from the edge. In the chaos to get up and out of the way, Im stumbling around, and as I finally stand up, some guy gets of the lift, comes up and says "Hey... Can I take your picture?" Im surprised and start to ask why but *flash*, Im on his film. He then says
"At my ski club we have a contest for Asshole of the Year... I figure someone who makes fun of little kids should be a sure winner! Good luck!" and saunters off, ignoring my explanations at the fact I was actually being a good person.
Im in shock, because I really wasnt trying to be a jerk, and I get embarassed by some loser. So as I stand there, with people looking at me strangely, I realize what I have in my pocket. MY camera.
So I quickly unbuckle my board and run up to the guy from behind. I tap him on the shoulder, he turns and I quickly flash a photo and say "Now I can enter too. Asshole." He's maybe mid 40's, Im 18. He pulls back and nails me one, right in the jaw. That was a mistake.
Immediately three bystanders, who saw the entire thing, jump him and pummel him violently, while I pick my surprised self up off the snow. I wish the picture had turned out, so I could post it, but he through his arms up and blocked the lens, so all I have is a black/white blur.
I never found out if I won asshole of the year, but I decided that I can self-proclaim it.
User Reviews
Submitted by lowsodiummonkey (user info) at 2003-10-17 08:53:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Goulash (user info) at 2003-10-17 08:45:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
The irony is you would have to be an asshole to actualy run an "asshole of the year" column
Submitted by dbcooper (user info) at 2003-09-03 15:32:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by itchy (user info) at 2003-08-21 12:33:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Man, you are a posting *machine*. The scary thing is that it is all good (Not in an MC Hammer "Its all good" way, which is stupid).
I laughed because you measure things in "meters." What the hell are those?! Silly Canadian.
Submitted by firefly (user info) at 2003-08-13 13:38:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Freak_Nasty (user info) at 2003-08-13 11:53:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I would have loved to see that. Had that happend to someone I knew, I also would have given him a beat down.
Submitted by Rivers_Liebig (user info) at 2003-08-11 13:26:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Zoidberg/Plummer: Thanks for the kind words. I aim to entertain.
Drink_DDT: Yeah... I sent your package a while ago. Bit of stuff. Also, thanks for the compliment. Im glad to hear that Im not scorned and ridiculed by all.
Submitted by drink_DDT (user info) at 2003-08-11 07:50:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hahaha. I love it when strangers do such strange things to people (and I'm not talking about porn).
I've notice all your posts are really good. You may be the first person in the history of this site to just show up and start kicking ass. Plus apparently you sent me a package. I love it when strangers do nice things to people (and again, I'm not talking about porn).
Submitted by jake_plummer (user info) at 2003-08-08 19:44:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
damn, it would have been awesome to see the blurry picture you had taken!
jake,
keep up the good work
Submitted by Headfirst (user info) at 2003-08-08 13:42:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
hardy har har
Submitted by Zoidberg (user info) at 2003-08-08 12:02:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
See! Proof that you can be a teenager and make a good post, without huge spelling errors/punctuation problems.
And it was INTERESTING too!
Now the next one of you motherfuckers who makes a "Which is better, 7up or Coke" post and wastes my time, I shall kill your firstborn
Submitted by Rivers_Liebig (user info) at 2003-08-08 11:13:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
DJMAtt - Wow. I need to go find some of your posts and rate them well. Thanks for the +12.
Moneypenny - Glad to hear that Im being taken honestly. All my other posts actually happened to me as well.
Submitted by Phinch (user info) at 2003-08-08 11:13:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i cant wait for snow.
+2 for canadian snow.
last winter I skied and boarded at whistler/blackcomb. It was their worst season in 20 years, it was also the best snow i've ridden in my 20 years on snow. Its not that tahoe sucks, its just that canada kicks ass.
Submitted by DJMattB241 (user info) at 2003-08-08 11:06:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
-End-
Submitted by DJMattB241 (user info) at 2003-08-08 11:06:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by DJMattB241 (user info) at 2003-08-08 11:06:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"how should i.... complete the waaaaaaallllllllllll"
Submitted by DJMattB241 (user info) at 2003-08-08 11:05:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
yeeeah
Submitted by DJMattB241 (user info) at 2003-08-08 11:05:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
yeeeah
Submitted by DJMattB241 (user info) at 2003-08-08 11:04:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for not being about mcbain!
+2 for the story
+2 for today being friday
+2 for me getting to leave early
+2 for me getting to DJ tonight
+2 cuz Pink Floyd just came on the radio
not that i'm in a good mood or anything.
Submitted by Moneypenny (user info) at 2003-08-08 11:00:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
1st genuinely amusing post that i read to that I believe actually happened +2
Submitted by Insanethemind (user info) at 2003-08-08 10:57:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Fuck, meant not only to rate it (+2) but I also do not know where I got that.
Apologies
Submitted by Nicole3 (user info) at 2003-08-08 10:53:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I liked your retort. Too bad you got hit, though the fact that he got pummeled may have been worth it.
Submitted by Rivers_Liebig (user info) at 2003-08-08 10:46:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Insane - Thanks for hosing my rating. :) I dont know where you got that Im from La Belle Province. I sadly, am English through and through, and live near Toronto. Mais je parle francais, parce que je l'ai prennais pour 12 ans. If you ever do hit Canada, feel free to swing by! Ill be in Nova Scotia during the school year for university, and in Ontario for my summers... but if you're up, Ill be glad to take you in.
Submitted by Insanethemind (user info) at 2003-08-08 10:42:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Two things:
1. Being from Montreal, is English your second language? If it is, then, shit you write it quite well. 2 July-10 July I had two friends, Genvieve and Marie-Pierre stay with me here in Florida for their break from school. I met M.P last summer in Cinque Terra, Italy, and plan on visiting them (and you?) sometime. Who knows when.
2. This reminds me of December '02, and my journey to Prague, CZ for my X-mas break from school. I was in Jizeerske Hory for the new year and for some skiing ( I have never been on a snowboard and had only skiied on snow once before, 7 years prior) and I must admit that the slopes there were hardly Minnesota. I got up to the lift and to grab hold, you were supposed to get this little bar stretching horizontally and put it between your legs, thus skiing up the mountain. I missed, ending up holding the fucking thing with both hands, similar to water skiining up a steep incline. I made it about 4/5s of the way up, before it became impossible to hold on any longer and let go, falling directly in the path of other people coming up. I tried to get out of the way, but alas, I was too slow. "Do prodela" (about the equivelant of up your ass or so my friend's tell me) I hear some Czech's yell, right before they plow into me and fall off. I was asshole of the year that time. Way to make Americans look super smart and good at athletics, huh?
Submitted by d_d (user info) at 2003-08-08 10:39:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
fuck that guy.
im gald he got dropped.
Submitted by EspoDmouth (user info) at 2003-08-08 10:28:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Good Stuff.
+2 for getting your ass beat.
peace
espo
Submitted by Razor (user info) at 2003-08-08 10:27:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
HAHAHAHAHA