My Motator (366 hits)
Category: NoneRating: -0.44 on 9 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by ninja fuck (View user info) at 2008-06-15 02:31:37 EDT
The motator.
This was the VW Fox I bought for $85, the exchange of money was more of a formality than anything. It was an eighty-something-'90 model. Perfect paint (really), a gorgeous maroon beast that I would learn to really drive like I had some balls with.
The lights had to be plugged in, each time you wanted them on. It was a bitch to figure out in the dark the first few times. The door jammed, so I had to "tweak" it each time I shut it so it would open back up again. I was crawling through the window or climbing over the stick for a few weeks until it un-jammed; store parking lots (embarrassing), leaving friend's houses, leaving friend's family's houses(ugh); leaving school. The muffler started falling off one day, so I did what any person would do and let it drag along the highway and threaten to spark anything brave enough to be flammable. It jumped ship after I took off the leather belt we haphazardly strapped the muffler back on with. The seat/ pedals situation; were about 4 inches away from allowing me to reach comfortably. My friend wanted to drive to the store one night, and ended up pulling off the e-brake. He was stoned, said his e-brake goes up further; but shit that sucked. I learned to drive a stick on it, maybe that's why I'm so absurdly attached to this monstrosity, this deathtrap that posed, not very well, as a "car".
I kept the "lucky lions"; badass little black lion statue asian-esque/ indianish; that my room mate left in it on the dash, surprisingly; they never fell off, not when it was towed, not slamming on the brakes downhill, or uphill, or stalling out. Irrelevant but I'm layin' downs respex for tha' lions, weerd.
I got it in the summer, and the heater was broken. It just wouldn't turn off from "hi" and "hottest" simultaneously.
Being the handyman that I am; I was driving 105 down the highway in sub-zero temperatures and have the windows rolled down. In retrospect I could've been baking cookies then, but I had the vapors so wasn't thinking clearly. I punched that contraption like a herped dick headed toward my face with a vengeance. Voila, it worked after that.
Anywho.
I quit smoking the ganja; and this pissed off everyone. I still don't know why it's such a personal affront; but it is. My boyfriend, Kale, had this hookah he smoked out of, sometimes weed, sometimes tobacco. I really like the fruity tobacco.
I see my friend Llama smoking and she looks like she's inhaling noxious chemicals, not deliciously fruit-flavored tobacco. Its peach tobacco I watched him put it in, what the fuck is wrong with this cunt??
I rip that hose out of her hand and smoke my nuts off. Smugly smiling back at her, I know I've just owned her and I'm her new master.
Ten minutes later I realize that they've all plotted against me to get me to smoke. I'd be really pissed, but seriously, how could I be? I got stoned and smoked peach tobbacky.
Driving back from Kale's it's -16 out; and we figure since my muffler is gone, we can't keep the windows rolled up because we will probably die in the 9 minutes it takes to get us home. Being the badass mofo's we are; we're wearing mittens and hats and coats (it's -16, I'm not trying to get frostbite). I don't think we even thought to turn the heater on at that point, but we've got all the windows ALL the way down at 3am shivering and about to piss ourselves because the Motator is going to kill us.
I stall out or something at the stop light (I think I was going to run it and then thought I saw a cop approaching)
Me- "Hey, llama?"
Llama- "yea, what's up?"
"Shit, it's cold."
"Uh...... yeah."
.......
........
A few "Hey, Llama?" "What?" "I don't knows," later...
"Llama?"
"WHAT?!" I look over at her, I didn't have anything to say, or had forgotten.
"ahahahhahaha!! Dude, look at your hat, fag!"
"What? Fuck you!"
me- " bwahahah, you look like such a...(laughing) god you look like such a fucking RRREEEtard"
"Tardmo" (word = "more retarded than me")
L- "Well, look at you! At least I don't have strings hanging down like an Eskimo"
M- "I'm not an Eskimo. I'm Asian"
"YOU'RE the Eskimo!"
L- "Well, I can't be a (sic) Eskimo if you can't be one, neither!"
Fin. We just laughed all the way home. Like the three little piggies or whoever the fuck they are.
But, we got home safe and ate a bunch of food and went to bed laughing.
Good times. I think it was due to those lucky lions we didn't freeze to death or get pulled over that night.
~ Tato ninja.
User Reviews
Submitted by Chroniclysm (user info) at 2008-06-16 01:39:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Calevra.
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2008-06-15 12:12:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I kept the "lucky lions"; badass little black lion statue asian-esque/ indianish; that my room mate left in it on the dash, surprisingly; they never fell off, not when it was towed, not slamming on the brakes downhill, or uphill, or stalling out. Irrelevant but I'm layin' downs respex for tha' lions, weerd.
this is where it crossed from decent to shit.
Submitted by NotSteve (user info) at 2008-06-15 11:06:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Should have waited on your change.
Submitted by Ltap (user info) at 2008-06-15 10:09:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2008-06-15 09:42:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
A valiant effort compiling all those typewriters, but you're one monkey short of a masterpiece.
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Only one?
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2008-06-15 09:42:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
A valiant effort compiling all those typewriters, but you're one monkey short of a masterpiece.
Submitted by tloshjohnson (user info) at 2008-06-15 03:59:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
The seat/ pedals situation; were about 4 inches away from allowing me to reach comfortably. My friend wanted to drive to the store one night, and ended up pulling off the e-brake. He was stoned, said his e-brake goes up further; but shit that sucked. I learned to drive a stick on it, maybe that's why I'm so absurdly attached to this monstrosity, this deathtrap that posed, not very well, as a "car".
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wtf?
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2008-06-15 03:43:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
this post is the best anti-drug spot I have ever seen.
Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals (user info) at 2008-06-15 02:45:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
There's no good reason for this post to exist.
Submitted by thecaes (user info) at 2008-06-15 02:45:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
"Motator" is a weird but oddly alluring name for a car.