Holes (1228 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.77 on 32 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by AlwaysAnEagle (View user info) at 2008-06-16 10:36:20 EDT
At seven o'clock, when the sun goes down, most people are in front of their TVs, watching the latest hottest whatever. I pull up my chair and watch the end of an era, over and over again, every night, with a glass of whatever's available and alcoholic. I tried this once with nothing but water and completely lost the plot on every possible level. The show just isn't the same. I always find myself paging idly through a book, not reading, not thinking, but just turning pages, back to front and front to back, reading the incomprehensible braille from years of use on the covers.
It's an excellent show, this private event of mine...it's the story of the end of an era. As the fading light glances across the floorboards, it catches on small impressions trailing from the bedroom to the front door, and after a few moments of watching them, I begin to hear their echoes as well. I could always find her in a crowd, you see. Even in the busiest places, the airy, even clicking seemed to float over the rest of the ambient noise, stealing any chance at surprise away from her. She tried anyway, throwing her arms around my waist and pressing her face against my back, ignoring the hazards of summer sweat or spilled coffee. I grew accustomed to acting startled. The day she left, though, trailing scarves and an awful sort of silence, the sound of those shoes changed to a furious stamping, yelling out all the accusations she refused to send my way. To a certain degree, I doubt she could have expressed the depths of her frustration even if she would have deigned to speak to me.
When the light has gone down and the sound of her shoes is rolling around the apartment, I see her. I see her in the kitchen and the closets and on the couch idly adjusting her hair. I see her perfectly maintained eyes peering through the holes where her books used to be on the bookcases I built in June when the air conditioner was broken. I put things where they're "supposed" to go on my own now...when she moved them on her own, I'd nudge them back out of place, refusing to allow her prescribed order to overtake mine.
In the end, I could have given her that much. I formed so much of her; I could have let her shape some small part of me. It's not that she didn't leave a mark, but rather that I limited her to superficial scratches and small flesh wounds. She finally became too much of a project to take with me, and I left her at the side of my own distant road. She'll be fine, of course, maybe more fine than I will be, but as I sit here with a battered copy of Pygmalion and ice cubes drifting low in the glass, I wonder if she'll ever leave, and if the holes left in my apartment will ever be filled.
I've made passing attempts at filling in the gaps. I walk to the bookstore each night, returning with books to bolster my shelves. I've done my best to create a gentleman's closet where her clothes once hung alongside mine, adding in soft silver objects and a place to work over my shoes. The drawers are long since reordered, and there's more space between hung shirts, so I go into the stores I pass and come out with more shirts than I need. Still, no matter how many things I move, no matter how often I close my eyes, I feel those holes around me, waiting to pull me in, echoing with the sounds of her and what I said and didn't say and couldn't and wouldn't, and I am left, over and over again, with only my nightly show and tiny holes in my floorboards, impossible to fill.
User Reviews
Submitted by secono (user info) at 2008-07-26 18:13:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by PayMeLater (user info) at 2008-06-22 17:16:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2008-06-19 13:04:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2008-06-17 21:26:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
kracka sighting two below.
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2008-06-17 20:57:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
nice
Submitted by Kracka (user info) at 2008-06-17 20:14:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Nellypaal (user info) at 2008-06-17 06:20:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by Fey (user info) at 2008-06-17 05:17:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by sexualchocolate1984 (user info) at 2008-06-17 04:57:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Was hoping for sloppy gaping holes.....
This was weird, is someone heartbroken?
Submitted by Littlebint (user info) at 2008-06-17 04:29:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Lovely
Submitted by DonkeyOnTheEdge (user info) at 2008-06-16 18:03:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Its a fucking revolution. Bring it on.
Submitted by MackTuesday (user info) at 2008-06-16 16:24:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Might have been a poem.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2008-06-16 16:21:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
hauntingly beautiful
Submitted by Lib (user info) at 2008-06-16 14:57:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Good read
Submitted by Chroniclysm (user info) at 2008-06-16 14:42:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Good stuff. Haven't seen that name in a long time.
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2008-06-16 14:35:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
What it has only been two years? About?
Submitted by shadow (user info) at 2008-06-16 13:33:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
AAA ftw.
Submitted by Ltap (user info) at 2008-06-16 12:57:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I didn't understand it, but I liked it.
Submitted by Pentameter (user info) at 2008-06-16 11:44:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I have no words.
Submitted by Mr_Trollope (user info) at 2008-06-16 11:38:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Perfect length, perfect story.
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2008-06-16 11:27:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
yeah AAA
Submitted by CarterPFly (user info) at 2008-06-16 11:18:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
That flowed beautifully.
Submitted by TheBrad (user info) at 2008-06-16 11:14:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
She finally became too much of a project to take with me, and I left her at the side of my own distant road.
That is a great line.
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-06-16 10:53:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Didn't read it.
But I'm a sheep so +2
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-06-16 10:51:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I have no idea what the fuck this was about but it's a good title...I know that much.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2008-06-16 10:50:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2008-06-16 10:49:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Be sure that your windows and doors are locked tonight.
ESPECIALLY if you live alone.
Submitted by creep_firebombing (user info) at 2008-06-16 10:48:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Jesus Christ. I almost forgot you know how to write. You're brilliant and I love you.
Submitted by GangsterSquid (user info) at 2008-06-16 10:48:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
That sounds about right.
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2008-06-16 10:45:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Literature right here. You should post more.
Not even kidding.
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2008-06-16 10:40:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Josie FTW!
-bamf
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2008-06-16 10:39:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
<3