Break out the guns… (1070 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 0.57 on 34 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Jack McCallum (View user info) at 2008-06-18 18:12:48 EDT
Okay, that's fucking it. Enough is enough and I've had enough.
Tomorrow I break out the guns, head to downtown San Francisco, and start shooting. In true California fashion I will tell you now that none of this is my fault. I was driven to insanity by endless, and I mean fucking endless news coverage of the whole gay marriage issue. TV, newspapers, radio, internet, it's fuckin everywhere and it has pushed me over the edge. Just saying that for the record. In case I don't make it to Friday.
Speaking of saying things for the record, I think gay marriage is great. Any process that enables the creation of solid family units is better for the nation. Since they have had to face so much adversity most gay couples form very strong unions, and that's good. Good for the health and welfare of the kids they raise, be they their own children or adopted ones... which is good for society. Raise a kid right and it won't become a criminal scumbag or another welfare-sucking leech. A strong union is also good for the economy because it means lots of couples buying houses and keeping steady jobs. It will also mean more overall acceptance of the gay lifestyle as well, which means they will be a lot less in-your-face demanding more and more shit after most of their demands have been met and I say Amen, bruthas and sistahs, cause I'm no homophobe, but I don't want to see two dudes tying tongues or reaching into each other's pants either. The more commonplace this perverse shit becomes the more the homos will realize they don't have to become walking grotesques and their every move will not have to be some sort of overt statement and they'll keep that bedroom shit in the bedroom where it belongs like the rest of us normal people. Hey, I'm all for empowering the ass-bandits. I think they've gotten a raw deal over the years and now they can just live instead of hiding an aspect of their personalities, and hopefully that will mean an end to the heinous spectacle of Gay Pride Parades because I know that if I walked down the street wearing nothing but a pair of cowboy boots and a cockring around my engorged penis holding up a banner that said I LIKE PUSSY I'd get busted by the SFPD faster than you can say Fred Phelps furiously felches fudge from faggot fundaments*, but somehow that shit is an expression of your sexual preferences when the shit packers do it and that just ain't right.
Anyhow, as I said, if the cock jockeys and rug munchers want to wed, that's great, but by fucking Christ this shit has gotten more media coverage than the quake over in China or wherever the fuck, you know, the one that killed all the yellow people, and sure, we got a surplus of those motherfuckers cause all they ever seem to do is make shit for Walmart in sweat-shops or make little yellow babies at home, but there was still a shitload of pain and suffering in that disaster and hey, wasn't there like, a storm that wiped out some of those in-betweeners, you know, those weird glob-num-glub talking ones who are half yellow and half brown, shit, they are still suffering too, but all we hear about is gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay.
Enough is enough.
* hahaha look at the uberusers scrambling to dictionary.com.
User Reviews
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2008-08-25 21:08:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2008-08-25 21:04:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Just to further my point:
RACISTS/DISCRIMINATORY/ANTI-OBAMA(goes back to racist)ETC... POSTS BY JACK:
1. http://www.ubersite.com/m/118305
2. http://www.ubersite.com/m/118112
3. http://www.ubersite.com/m/118090
4. http://www.ubersite.com/m/117913
5. http://www.ubersite.com/m/117808
6. http://www.ubersite.com/m/117641
7. http://www.ubersite.com/m/117614
8. http://www.ubersite.com/m/117591
9. http://www.ubersite.com/m/117554
10. http://www.ubersite.com/m/117505
11. http://www.ubersite.com/m/117364 (the very fact that you LIKE scalia)
12. http://www.ubersite.com/m/117316
13. http://www.ubersite.com/m/117303
14. http://www.ubersite.com/m/117258
15. http://www.ubersite.com/m/117174
16. http://www.ubersite.com/m/117136
17. http://www.ubersite.com/m/117084
17 OUT OF YOUR LAST 40 POSTS.
you have issues.
Submitted by crsunlimited (user info) at 2008-06-26 17:48:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
You should have worded this not to kill the gay community, but instead kill the media gurus who thing this crap is worth putting on the air 24 hours a day. That way no one would have called the cops because it's not a hate speach/crime against gay/les it would just be commentary towards the media.
Plus 80% of us would be behind you. It's not the story that we get tired of, its the 24 hour coverage of said story after we have heard it once.
Submitted by triangle_man (user info) at 2008-06-23 17:42:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
good choices
Submitted by X54 (user info) at 2008-06-19 11:23:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I heard an ad on a San Francisco radio station yesterday for a jewelry store. Shreve, I think it was. They "interview" couples talking about buying wedding rings, only now the couples are male-male and female-female. It cracked me up. Probably a smart advertising strategy, though.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-06-19 11:04:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by joedaddy (user info) at 2008-06-18 21:54:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
watching a couple of blue-hairs suck face made my junk disappear
--
HAHAHAHAHA!!!
Submitted by sexualchocolate1984 (user info) at 2008-06-19 09:51:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I want those guns!
We're only allowed sports / farming guns over here in th UK.
: (
Submitted by The_Drake (user info) at 2008-06-19 08:58:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 Random Fuckos
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2008-06-19 08:22:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Leave the fags alone - if they're committed and monogamous (and even married) they're not hurting anyone, and if they're more stereotypical then their lifestyle will kill them off soon enough. If you would do some good with those guns, kill your television.
Submitted by PepsiCoke (user info) at 2008-06-19 05:42:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2008-06-18 23:18:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
OK, Jack. Which hurts more now, your tongue or your cheek?
------
Probably equal. He could barely fit my Mandingo dong in his throat. No question it did some damage on the way down.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2008-06-18 23:18:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
OK, Jack. Which hurts more now, your tongue or your cheek?
Submitted by joedaddy (user info) at 2008-06-18 21:54:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
watching a couple of blue-hairs suck face made my junk disappear
Submitted by FilledwithHate (user info) at 2008-06-18 20:47:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
The news media has overdone it a bit, but it is not like there is a lot of fun stuff to hear about--floods, shit blows up in Iraq, breathless daily updates on the price of light, sweet crude, and the amazingly high price of gas highest in the nation here in Cali, etc. And they say same-sex marriages may add $680 million to the state economy over 10 years, about half coming from out-of-state. Bring it on, the money is good; just spend all your time on Ubersite rather than acually watching news. There was some study after 9/11 that said watching news too much was bad for you; maybe that applies all the time, not just after 9/11 style disasters.
Submitted by GangsterSquid (user info) at 2008-06-18 20:27:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
To alcohol! The cause of -- and solution to -- all of life's problems!
-- Homer Simpson
Homer vs. the Eighteenth Amendment
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2008-06-18 20:17:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2008-06-18 20:08:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
http://www.dargate.com/251_auction/251_images/2270.jpg
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Hahahahaha
That's beautiful.
Stop watching TV news is my advice. I did, and feel less violated and insulted. You see, on internet web sites, you can pick what you want to read. What a liberating concept. Of course, I still watch Fox News on occassion when I need a good laugh.
Submitted by beer-turtle (user info) at 2008-06-18 20:14:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Maybe you shouldn't live in California man.
It seems to make you tense.
Try Wyoming, far fewer people per square mile.
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2008-06-18 20:13:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Seriously Jack, marriage in any form is an evil curse. If homosexuals want to damn themselves to that hell, and the media want to cover it excessively, so much the better.
Oh, those poor deluded FOOLS!
Marriage.....<shudder>
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2008-06-18 20:08:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
http://www.dargate.com/251_auction/251_images/2270.jpg
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2008-06-18 19:57:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
the whole thing is just so not a major issue anywhere else.
as I get older I start to get more and more creeped out by the religious people and more and more turned on by the homs.
Submitted by X54 (user info) at 2008-06-18 19:52:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dEQuW2v6U2o God Hates Fags
Fred Phelps's daughter reminds me of that religious nutcase lady in "The Mist." But younger. I'd do her.
Submitted by Charlton_H (user info) at 2008-06-18 19:38:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2008-06-18 19:25:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Google news for "iraq+blunder" = 2000 articles
Google news + McCain = 140,000 articles (including one about him calling for 45 more nuclear reactors...news to me)
Google news for Obama = 180000 articles
Google news for "US+elections" = 45000 articles
Google news for "Iowa+flooding" = 26000 articles
Google news for prostitute turns up over 5500 articles
Gioogle news for electro turns up over 5700 articles
Hell, Google news for kkk (with no recent blatant cross burnings) brings up over 500 articles.
Being awfully choosey about your searches, aren't you?
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-06-18 18:55:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Google news + "gay marriage" = 2,854 articles.
Did any of you see clips of Fred Phelps daughter? She flew out to protest these marriages. It makes for some jaw-dropping viewing. She's as crazy as a shithouse rat.
Submitted by X54 (user info) at 2008-06-18 18:53:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Well, I imagine the media might take a break from gay marriage for a story about a gun nut threatening to go postal in SF. Good strategy!
Submitted by Yozz (user info) at 2008-06-18 18:46:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Glock 26 FTW.
I loves me some Kahr P9 too.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2008-06-18 18:40:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
JESUS CAN'T HELP YOU, JACK. He's busy doing the electric slide at all those receptions.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-06-18 18:34:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Relax, for Christ's sake. It's a commentary on the media. Posted on the internet. Posted on Ubersite. Jesus.
Submitted by X54 (user info) at 2008-06-18 18:33:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2008-06-18 15:31:38 PDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I hope none of those fags you speak of forward this post to your local authorities, but just in case, I'll look for you on the news tomorrow. I mean, if a brown person wrote a post like this about San Franciscans in general, Homeland Security would be all over it.
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No, they wouldn't. That's profiling, and they don't do that for fear of upsetting our Arab brothers.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-06-18 18:32:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
What's TV news coverage like on your end, Shlongy? Not the gay ting but news in gneral. Do you only get snippets of international stuff, you know, unless France explodes or something like that?
I know coverage is a lot wider in Canada and the UK. What about Australia?
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2008-06-18 18:31:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I hope none of those fags you speak of forward this post to your local authorities, but just in case, I'll look for you on the news tomorrow. I mean, if a brown person wrote a post like this about San Franciscans in general, Homeland Security would be all over it.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-06-18 18:30:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Hey, some guy in an off the rack suit and shades is standing in our lobby. He just flashed a badge and
Hold on, my boss needs to see me. Back in a sec.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-06-18 18:29:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Seriously man, talk about media saturation. Don't know what it is like in other states but California has always been pretty insular when it comes to news reporting. Sometimes it drives me nuts. There's a whole world out there and that's the only thing being discussed here.
Thank Christ for BBC news online.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-06-18 18:28:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
As I was saying...Posting this on the intraweb probably isn't your wisest move of all time, Hitler.
Submitted by X54 (user info) at 2008-06-18 18:27:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Don't do it, Jack! I agree with you 100%, but it's not worth it. Besides, the police have already locked onto your IP address with a cruise missile.
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2008-06-18 18:21:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You really need to get laid. And coming from me, that says something.