Déjà Vu All Over Again (652 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.64 on 17 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by X54 (View user info) at 2008-06-19 00:26:23 EDT
(Inspired by Déjà vu? by JesterLilt at http://www.ubersite.com/m/116838)
Karen dutifully stands at the bus stop waiting for the last bus home extremely intoxicated.
She knows she's extremely intoxicated because she's using too many adverbs in her internal dialog. "That guy totally looks like he might fuck me," she thinks, eyeing a man standing nearby.
Karen enjoys fucking, especially when she's drunk. She has no trouble getting laid, although she tends to attract breast men. Unfortunately, she finds breast men immature. She thinks she might prefer leg men, but for whatever reason they never seem interested in her. So she has to make do with breast men. Breast men all have certain, similar personality traits. Observing this, she's come to consider herself a bit of a self taught psychologist.
Trying to appear steady, she marches up to the man. "Will this bus get me to..." She giggles, having forgotten whatever sexually loaded destination she'd thought up moments ago.
"All the way around the world," slurs the man, ogling her breasts. They both laugh, although Karen is laughing at the man rather than with him. She has pegged him as a breast man. Breast men always find themselves funnier than they actually are.
On the bus, he plies her unnecessarily with vodka from a little metal flask, watches her breasts jiggle at every bump in the road and goes on and on about his past. He was in a heavy metal band. He played sports. He had a cool car. Wishing he would shut up, Karen tries to distract him by massaging his cock through his pants.
"Where's your stop?" she says, interrupting him to hand back his empty flask.
He looks out the window, says "Fuck" and rings the bell. They have to walk back to his place, which is in an industrial park. He has what passes for a room in the attic of a steel warehouse. They climb a rusty metal stairway, Karen stomping drunkenly in her combat boots.
She hopes he'll forgo foreplay, but he insists on sucking her nipples like a baby pig. A piglet. She thinks of Winnie the Pooh's best friend and stares up at the ceiling, maintaining her arousal by rubbing herself against his scratchy, hairy belly flab. In a fleeting moment of lucidity, she sees that the ceiling is just the underside of the building's corrugated metal roof. Then Piglet is inside her, pumping and panting as though he'll have a heart attack. The next thing she remembers is sneaking down the metal stairs, boots in hand, careful not to wake him.
Some weeks later Karen stands at the same bus stop nearly unconscious drunk, again waiting for the same late bus.
She accidentally stumbles against a man who catches her before she sprawls into a muddy ditch. Her spirits soar. Such chivalry, she thinks, must mark him as a leg man. Her hope comes undone, however, when he drools on her breasts, then tries to paw her sweater dry. "I'll spit shine 'em for ya," he says, laughing himself breathless at his own wit.
Karen falls into a despondent pit of self contempt. What is it about her that attracts such boors? She emerges from her funk periodically as if she's swimming underwater and surfacing once in a while to gauge her surroundings. Events flash by as a sequence of brief, disconnected scenes: stumbling as she climbs aboard the bus; a groping hand under her sweater; her stop passing by; disembarking with the man who drooled on her; a small, gloomy room and a rancid smelling bed. "Is it okay if I call you Mommy while I suck on your tits?"
"Oh God, that ceiling looks familiar," she thinks, staring up at the underside of a corrugated metal roof.
She gasps, "Piglet!"
Later, she prods him awake before leaving. She wants to know his name, to reduce the risk of a third encounter.
"Shlongy," he says.
Rolling her eyes at the irony of that, she stomps down the rusty metal stairs.
User Reviews
Submitted by X54 (user info) at 2008-06-20 10:07:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Thanks! It was a great idea.
Submitted by Banjo (user info) at 2008-06-20 05:58:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Yip, that's how I remember her telling me it. Well done, much better than my original effort.
Submitted by MackTuesday (user info) at 2008-06-19 17:08:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
As opposed to deja vu the first time around?
Submitted by PayMeLater (user info) at 2008-06-19 13:25:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2008-06-19 11:26:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by X54 (user info) at 2008-06-19 10:50:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2008-06-19 02:53:49 PDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Isn't this inspired by wossname? She did a post in that "one of these four sexy stories is true" thing and this one was one about her mate.
Still good though.
I disagree with the author's low opinion of breast men. The only woman who doesn't enjoy breastmen is blowflygirl.
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Inspired by Déjà vu? by JesterLilt at http://www.ubersite.com/m/116838. Maybe there's more than one story on that topic.
I'm being tongue in cheek about breast men. The only reason I'm not one myself is because women with big tits won't have anything to do with me.
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2008-06-19 10:28:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
that girl has a great personality
Submitted by Ltap (user info) at 2008-06-19 09:50:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I knew it was coming. Somehow.
I still liked it.
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2008-06-19 09:45:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You're on a roll, huh? Good post.
Submitted by FALLEN (user info) at 2008-06-19 09:30:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'd hit that.
Submitted by sexualchocolate1984 (user info) at 2008-06-19 09:02:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
That was a fun read.
I'm a face and shoulders man, it's all about sexy shoulders. Shoulders and nipples. mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm nipples.
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2008-06-19 08:28:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I would hit it.
Submitted by AyeCarumba (user info) at 2008-06-19 06:54:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
My leg or breast man status is directly related to my level of intoxication. More beer, more boobs.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2008-06-19 05:53:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Isn't this inspired by wossname? She did a post in that "one of these four sexy stories is true" thing and this one was one about her mate.
Still good though.
I disagree with the author's low opinion of breast men. The only woman who doesn't enjoy breastmen is blowflygirl.
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-06-19 05:23:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Wicked. I'm gonna have to try some cross-gender narrative.
I'm a boobs man myself - hope girl don't REALLY think of them like that...
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2008-06-19 01:06:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
SPT must stand for Several Pretty Tits.
Submitted by X54 (user info) at 2008-06-19 00:27:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Oops. I forgot to label this SPT.