When is a Gnome not a Gnome?When he's got his head up a Fairy's dress he's a Goblin (397 hits)
Category: NoneRating: -1.5 on 12 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Mr Trollope (View user info) at 2008-06-22 09:24:46 EDT
...So we sat and talked , deep into the night , me and the giant gnome man . He drank beer , I drank coffee . His wife fussed around and prepared food for us . We were joined presently by another guest , a businessman from Finland .
They all agreed that Tromso was a good place to head for . I explained that money was running low and I had to find work soon . They said I would find work in Tromso . They were not wrong as it turned out . They use a lot of wood in Norway , the hotel was wooden , I slept in a wooden room that creaked and groaned like an old boat rocking in a gentle swell . But it was warm ,and in the dark January night the outside temperature plummeted to minus twenty while I slept peacefully on . By mid-morning the next day , I had bought a coach ticket to Tromso at the tourist office in town , had found the coach stop , boarded the coach , bagged a window seat , and was sat waiting impatiently for the journey to get under way . The price of the ticket was half that of the train fare , and it included two nights in motels along the route .
The coach certainly looked the part , studded tyres all round and spare ones on the roof , with heavy hauling winches and ropes fitted front and back , I had seen shovels and pickaxes in the luggage compartment , and there was a kind of snowplough arrangement fitted to the front that was adorned with a long row of headlamps . It was 400 miles to the Arctic Circle , and another 250 after that to Tromso . There were two drivers , one started to look round inside the coach , perhaps making sure we were all there .
The doors closed with an efficient swish and the other driver crashed the gears and we were off , heading into the circle . It was already pitch dark , there is not much daylight during Winter in this part of the world , sneeze and you miss the event . We had soon shaken off the confines of the city and the coaches headlights blazed a trail through the unfolding countryside . There was snow everywhere , piled up in high banks along the roadside , draping the impressive fir trees , and cloaking the land in deep untouched drifts of pure white . The studded tyres made a pleasantly constant metallic thrum as the coach drove steadily onwards . Passengers busied themselves , getting comfortable , reading books and newspapers , some settled down and slept . I looked out the window , staring into the sidesweep of the headlights , alone with my own thoughts and the therapy of the slowly passing miles .
That evening the coach pulled into the car park of a small but pleasantly welcoming roadside motel. Everybody disembarked and gathered in the reception area where we were allocated rooms for the night and advised by the drivers to be back on the coach at 7 am the next morning . most of the travellers headed for the motel restaurant , I took the anti social option and locked myself in my room , wooden again , relying on the food I had brought with me . I spent the rest of the evening watching episodes of the Benny Hill show and Dallas , dubbed in Norwegian , on the room tv , which was very entertaining . But not half as entertaining as the trouser press machine I discovered lurking behind the door . I washed my small collection of clothes in the bathroom , using hotel shampoo sachets, and dried them all in the trouser press , creating clouds of steam and much sizzling in the process.
I think I may have inadvertently , and quite casually , created my own d.i.y. sauna . I was having too much fun , and decided to sleep before it was too late . I set the built in alarm clock at the side of the bed for 6 am , heated up my pillows nicely in the trouser press and was asleep before they had cooled . I was in , or near , a town called Brenna , just thirty miles from the Arctic circle , and a long way from anywhere I had ever been before .
User Reviews
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-06-27 07:48:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
http://www.writebuzz.com/channels/work-details.asp?id=4908
Submitted by Mr_Trollope (user info) at 2008-06-23 04:13:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I dont blame you, wouldnt read my latest post if this bored you though
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-06-23 04:10:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
I got bored half way through
Submitted by Mr_Trollope (user info) at 2008-06-23 03:17:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
oh except val obviously
Submitted by Mr_Trollope (user info) at 2008-06-23 03:17:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
thanks all you alters!!
Submitted by Val (user info) at 2008-06-23 02:21:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
You killed my love of words. Murderer.
Submitted by Ltap (user info) at 2008-06-22 22:14:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
holy fuck this was bad
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2008-06-22 18:19:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Mr_Trollope (user info) at 2008-06-15 14:07:49 CDT (#)
Ranking: 0
meow meow meow, puuur skrapmetal's cat ;)
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Fuck off fag.
Submitted by Mr_Trollope (user info) at 2008-06-22 12:07:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
this is going down worse than a nun at a penguin convention
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2008-06-22 09:29:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You're welcome.
Submitted by Mr_Trollope (user info) at 2008-06-22 09:29:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
thanks, i think.
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2008-06-22 09:28:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm actually impressed you wrote something that wasn't utter bilge.