Shaving is for pussies (+ unrelated NSFW pic) (1847 hits)
Category: NoneRating: -1.05 on 19 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by esceptico (View user info) at 2008-06-22 09:54:21 EDT
Carlos is my best friend. We always discuss about important stuff like sex, but not your usual "tits or ass" but more like licking pussy, talking dirty shit or giving a perfect facial. One of our latest discussions revolved around being lucky in bed, you know, getting a pleasant surprise from a girl. He told me about this broad that supposedly had small boobs but naked she had plenty, my "getting lucky" was this chick I met that was shaven down there.
"Dude, that's awesome..." Carlos said
"Well, yeah... it was clean and everything. She said that she didn't stand having pubes. They disgust her."
"Oh man, I wish that happened to me... it's like a fantasy to me... you know... it's like having sex with a little kid..."
"...please, tell me you didn't say that..."
"Come on... you've had that fantasy, right? Don't you remember having sex when you were in elementary? Chicks didn't have any pubes then..."
"You are a serious horny bastard, aren't you? Well, I didn't have sex until I was 18, but yeah... I fingered some girls when I was 10 years old, it was nice I guess... but sex back then was kinda awkward, most of the time you didn't know what you were doing... one girl gave me a handjob inside her dog's house one time... but that kinda shit don't arouse me now..."
"Did you come on her face inside the dog's house?"
"The point is, if a girl is shaven is good for us, right? Do you take care of your pubes then? Maybe some girls might think that's arousing"
"Well, I haven't taken care of my pubes, but yeah... you may be onto something there..."
After that important conversation we decided to shave our pubes and see the reaction of some ladies. Carlos was the first getting laid at one party (He's more handsome than the fat guy writing this shit) and he had one of the best blowjobs ever according to him, mainly because she got really horny by seeing his male genitalia shaven and clean. So it was my turn.
I met this fat chick at a party. I was drunk and high and I totally forgot about shaving my pubes, so I wasn't try to prove anything. I bought these really cheap German condoms while going to the room I paid for, you know, in order to "making some sex". I'm not a condom person, but girls are afraid of getting STDs and crap... I say, if I get some herpes that means I got some good sex last weekend, let the doctors know about that. Anyways, she wasn't very hot. She smelled good though, kinda like "rich scent" going on, but fat as fuck. So anyways, we were in the room making out and shit when I dropped my pants, and what do you know.
"Why are you shaven?" She said.
"Well, I always do it... pubes... eww... they disgust me..."
"What are you? Gay?"
"Well, no... some girls like it... you know... it's clean and..."
"Don't give me that shit, I'm a girl and I think that's totally gay and unnecessary. Besides, you look awful... you have a hairy belly and somehow your pubes are all gone... it's like you have cancer or some weird skin disease..."
"Well, that's not important you know... "
"Ohh... and your dick doesn't look as big as you may think... it looks small anyways..."
After that stupid conversation, we had sex. It was awful, she was fat and moaned like she was having a seizure, and I decided not to shave myself anymore. Besides pubes prevent STDs, right?
On an unrelated picture, I think that the only problem with that kid is that she's seeing a woman not cleaning or cooking something delicious. That's bad parenting.
User Reviews
Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2008-06-23 14:13:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2008-06-22 21:22:01 PDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by DonkeyOnTheEdge (user info) at 2008-06-22 14:48:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
First of all, this post was a complete mess and I have no idea where to begin.
Secondly, every guy knows that if you manscape and have a hairy chest/stomach/happy trail you DON'T shave your pubes. You TRIM them down and shave your balls. That way it doesn't look like you had a cock transplant from a baby.
Lastly, women who shave most likely don't do it every day. That equals stubble. Stubble equals bad things. If you don't believe me, go fuck a five o'clock shadow.
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this review was better than the whole post. Are you ESL?
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ahahah, and I almost missed it in my after-post rage.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2008-06-23 10:51:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2008-06-23 00:22:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by DonkeyOnTheEdge (user info) at 2008-06-22 14:48:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
First of all, this post was a complete mess and I have no idea where to begin.
Secondly, every guy knows that if you manscape and have a hairy chest/stomach/happy trail you DON'T shave your pubes. You TRIM them down and shave your balls. That way it doesn't look like you had a cock transplant from a baby.
Lastly, women who shave most likely don't do it every day. That equals stubble. Stubble equals bad things. If you don't believe me, go fuck a five o'clock shadow.
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this review was better than the whole post. Are you ESL?
Submitted by Ltap (user info) at 2008-06-22 22:16:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
You're a douchebag. I can sense it.
Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals (user info) at 2008-06-22 21:27:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Sounds like you and Carlos should go an fuck the shit outta each other.
Submitted by PayMeLater (user info) at 2008-06-22 18:31:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I like to shave a woman's pussy and then go down on her. Drives them crazy.
It's especially good if they don't normally shave completely and you haven't dated very long.
Because she won't completely trust you down there with a razor and the adrenaline will make her orgasm even more exciting.
Then, of course, you go right for the ass.
Submitted by whiskey_jack (user info) at 2008-06-22 18:25:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Are you retarded? How do you not know if you complete shave your junk you have to shave any and all upper body hair? Dumbass
Submitted by Director (user info) at 2008-06-22 15:13:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Goddamn this was awful.
Submitted by DonkeyOnTheEdge (user info) at 2008-06-22 14:48:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
First of all, this post was a complete mess and I have no idea where to begin.
Secondly, every guy knows that if you manscape and have a hairy chest/stomach/happy trail you DON'T shave your pubes. You TRIM them down and shave your balls. That way it doesn't look like you had a cock transplant from a baby.
Lastly, women who shave most likely don't do it every day. That equals stubble. Stubble equals bad things. If you don't believe me, go fuck a five o'clock shadow.
Submitted by HerrSchniedelwichs (user info) at 2008-06-22 14:46:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
De gustibus.
There's a nice feeling you get when you've got a girl going down on you when you're shaven.
Have +1 for an interesting subject!
Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2008-06-22 13:14:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Couldn't get past the first two lines.
Submitted by Ballare (user info) at 2008-06-22 13:03:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
yesterday at the park in the men's bathroom there was a man at a urinal holding his baby and trying to aim with no hands and still stop his crotchfruit from falling onto/eating the urinal cake
I mean, I didn't see it, but my boyfriend said it was hilarious
Submitted by tloshjohnson (user info) at 2008-06-22 12:45:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
No Comment
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2008-06-22 11:30:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
blech
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2008-06-22 10:18:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
"giving a perfect facial?" Well doesn't that just scream 'douchebag?' And it only got worse.
Submitted by jamix420 (user info) at 2008-06-22 10:12:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I always figured it was kinda gay for a guy to shave too.... real men have hair.
Submitted by DirkDiggler (user info) at 2008-06-22 10:03:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
"Come on... you've had that fantasy, right? Don't you remember having sex when you were in elementary? Chicks didn't have any pubes then..."
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So you fucked a girl for the first time and tried to write a post like you had some experience. What a cock and I'm phoning the police, self confessed paedo above.
Submitted by Mr_Trollope (user info) at 2008-06-22 09:59:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
that photo is all kinds of wrong
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2008-06-22 09:57:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Lame, and I really don't understand guys who like shaved women. It was kind of cool as a kid, but now I'd just feel like a paedo. Nothing wrong with a bit of topiary, but going bald is spooky.