On Good Days - A Short Story (573 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.18 on 16 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Domochevsky (View user info) at 2008-06-23 11:28:20 EDT
Penelope didn't like her name. She most often truncated it to the curt, precise 'Nel'. It had taken Lewis a good week of knowing her before he caught on to this, and even now he sometimes slipped and called her by her full name. Their meeting was far from Lewis' mind as she lay on her side in his bed. Her breath was sweet, slow and steady against his cheek. She rolled over languorously, draping her naked form over Lewis. He loved her weight, how it pressed him into the mattress and made him acutely aware that he wasn't just imagining her. Not tonight at least. The Nel of his dreams lacked such corporeal mass. And just like his dreams, she had come to him, kissed him, wanted him. Nel had a slightly boyish quality to her, and even though Lewis had a penchant for tomboys, he couldn't see anything puerile about her in this moment. Hauntingly beautiful. Nel raised her head, lips brushing against the side of his face, stopping next to his ear.
Think you can make me come again? She whispered.
Yeah, Nel, I think I can handle that.
Lewis woke the next morning to Nel sliding out of his bed. Her pale skin blinding in the morning light. He ran his hand down her back as she slipped away from him into the cool September air. Some of the trees had begun to change already, their leaves danced in the sun outside his window. Nel searched the crumpled clothing on the floor for her underwear. She scooped them up, inspecting them as though something could have happened to them in the few hours since they were last worn and gingerly drew them over her legs. The snapping of the elastic band against her skin cut through the silence.
I... Lewis started
...Have to go. She finished, pulling on her jeans. I'll see you in class, Lewis.
He watched her put on her tee shirt over bare breasts. Did she have a bra? Lewis wondered to himself. No, he remembered, she hadn't been wearing one.
Want to have lunch after Anatomy lab? He grasped at the straw. He knew it was a 50-50 chance.
Yeah. That'd be great. Hey, can you, um, check the hallway before I go?
Sure.
He put on some underwear and opened the door, peering into the hall linking his room to the four others.
All clear.
Thanks. She kissed him gently. Someone taught you to kiss well. She remarked as she left. Lewis heard the front door open and close. The slam had an air of finality to it that he disliked. He got back into bed just as his alarm went off. 7:45.
Lewis began his normal morning ritual. Cereal. Always cereal. Sometimes he ate it three meals a day. He poured a scoop of protein mix into the blender, and ate while waiting to hear John's alarm clock followed shortly by Melanie's. Amanda didn't have a morning class, but was out running before any of the other roommates were up. The blender whirred loudly. Protein. Made up for a diet of corn flakes, he figured. The glass emptied, he searched the living room for the appropriate books and binders while John and Melanie stumbled into the kitchen.
Hey guys.
Morning shake? John said sarcastically, gesturing at the blender.
Yeah. Sorry 'bout the noise.
Heh. That's not all I've heard from you. Who stayed over last night?
Not now. I'm late for class.
Lewis hurried to the door. John chuckled.
We thought you'd never get laid, man.
Slam.
Nel was waiting for him. Seven rows from the front of the lecture hall, farthest two seats to the right. They were both left-handed. It worked out well. No bumping elbows. Sometimes Nel sat in the second row, next to the tall guy from the swim team. She'd confessed to Lewis that she had a crush on him, and the swimmer's presence only served to further undermine Lewis' confidence. He and the swimmer were not quite antithetical, but there were definitely contrasts. Not tall. Not on the swim team. No meth habit. No glazed-over look in his eyes. But today she was waiting for Lewis.
Hey! He worked hard to make his voice sound natural, unforced and without the I-slept-with-you-last-night subtext. He pulled out a notebook and pen. 9.24.06. Anatomy. As if he would be unable to locate his notes if they were improperly labelled.
Cut laterally along the trapezius. Pull the superficial muscles aside. Use you blunt probe to tease apart the erector spinae muscle. Deep to this, and lower you will see the multifidus. Lewis faithfully carried out the directions. He carefully dissected the long strands of muscle from each side of the preserved cat's spine. When he thought about the cat as a whole, he felt a pang of guilt, but as a collection of parts it was less troublesome to his conscience. Studiable. Manageable. Wrote memorizable. As an act of contrition he sometimes mouthed a silent thank you to the cat, its limbs splayed out like a dying martyr from the old testament. Lewis committed the muscle's name and location to memory before moving on. The smell of formaldehyde was so strong his nose was running. He nodded to his lab partner, a small girl who rarely spoke and seldom assisted in the dissection. This didn't bother Lewis; he preferred to work at his own pace unobstructed by a slow or incompetent counterpart. They wrapped the prostrate cat in plastic and returned it to its cabinet. Nel had finished before him and was walking out the door.
See you on Friday. He called to his partner, rushing to catch up to Nel.
His partner didn't reply. She didn't care much for Lewis.
Nel stood at the stove, tending the grilled cheese sandwiches. Lewis put some fruit and carrots on a plate. He saddled up next to her, stirring the tomato soup. Tentatively he put his arm around her waist. Soft and firm at the same time. She put her hand over his, tenderly, and squeezed before brushing him away. Cut medially along the sternum. Pull back the pectoralis major to expose the pectoralis minor and serratus anterior. It sent a distinct message: Toe the line; don't cross it. Not until I say so. Lewis always took the good with the bad. The good makes the bad worth it, he thought. They sat together on the couch, reading personal ads from the paper and assign them grades.
BBW, 29, ISO LTR with HWP SWM from PDX. Too many abbreviations. C plus.
Male, 25, I just want a girlfriend.
What's going on here?
It's to the point. Give it a B. No, B minus.
Nel lay her head on his shoulder, her short hair tickled his chin.
Jellybean. She said.
Huh?
Its a word association game. Just say the first thing that comes to your mind.
Bouncy ball.
Rubber Tree.
Zipper.
YKK.
Oh, good one.
Developmental Biology was their next class together. Sperm have no motility until they enter the vagina, where they are activated by vaginal secretions. The mitochondria at the base of the sperm head drive its flagellum. Lewis took these bits of information down reliably committing them to the paper. He knew that he wouldn't read the words again until the week of the exam, but he took care to color code the ones he thought will be most important. No motility underlined in blue. Lewis left the classroom ahead of Nel, walking slowly in the hopes that she would catch up. She doesn't. Lewis decided that she had probably had enough of him for the day. Nel was like that. Fickle. By her on admission.
Sometimes you annoy me. She told him once. But sometimes I just love you so much.
But not today. Lewis walked back to his apartment. He was still running on residual endorphins from the night prior. They broke down the general malaise he so often felt. He went to the trash bin in his room and fished the condom wrapper out of it. Lewis was no virgin before Nel, but this time felt so poignant. Significant. Connected. He threw the wrapper back, but left it at the top of the pile. A reminder. Lewis' phone rang.
Hey! Not much. Sure, sounds good. I'll see you in a bit. Adios.
Nel was coming over. Lewis wasn't sure what that meant. He had cereal for dinner.
With all the roommates home, and Nel, it made five. The small living room felt claustrophobic with so many. Nel had sat in the recliner, making no movement towards Lewis. Her mannerisms did not betray them, and despite John's fervent questioning of Lewis, their secret remained undisclosed. Lewis had been friends with Penelope, John, Amanda and Melanie since they all came to the university as freshman. They called themselves a surrogate family. Lewis had entered college attached to his highschool girlfriend; a relationship that had carried on too long, and took even longer to end. He had always been attracted to Nel, but It wasn't until the closing of his sophomore year that he broke up with his girlfriend and in a drunken stupor confessed his attraction. Nel turned him down. The smell of lemon vodka would forever remind him of the rejection. For his tryst with Nel to happen now... He had trouble coming to terms with it. After some family time, the roommates dispersed, leaving Lewis and Nel alone. She smiled mischievously, her eyes bright even in the dim fluorescent light. She stretched out in the chair, putting her feet in his lap. He obliged, massaging them gently. He relished touching her.
You spoil me. She sighed, relaxed.
I know. he laughed, mostly at himself; his own absurdity.
Do you think it's true about sperm? Asked Nel.
Dunno. I feel like I've seen them move. I mean, it seems like they should be able to move before they enter the vagina.
Want to find out? She prodded him with her feet.
They walked to the science building. The night was crisp and the smell of autumn was strong in the air. She ambled close to him. Almost touching. It reminded Lewis of the night she called him, drunk and sick. He ran from his apartment to find her sitting on a bench in the quad. The same bench they had sat on the evening before, Penelope explaining how Lewis was such a gentleman; how if she could somehow put Lewis in the swimmer's body, she would be attracted to him. Now she was slumped in the seat, inebriated. Her shoes had disappeared into the ether, vomit on her socks. He took her to his apartment. Cleaned her up. Lewis slept on the floor next too the couch, emptying her puke pail all night. Nel thanked him the next day, but they had never spoken of it again. That was months ago. Now they passed the bench again, and Lewis wondered how much of that night she remembered.
They signed in with the building monitor and hastily made their way to the microbiology lab, chuckling to themselves.
We need a sample. Nel said.
Are you going to help me collect it? Lewis mused.
Yeah, right; we need it sterile. She said, handing him a latex glove.
Lewis took a spare petri dish and returned with the biological material required for their experiment. They tried various dyes. Coomassie blue killed sperm, they discovered. Phenol red failed to increase visibility. Abandoning the dye strategy they peered into the microscope. Their results were conclusive: sperm are entirely motile sans vaginal secretions. The door to the lab opened, startling the nascent researchers. It was just the building monitor, making his rounds. He left them without question.
Scared the shit out of me. Lewis sighed.
Nel laughed. They absconded furtively after carefully hiding the remains of their experiment in a trash can.
Too bad we can never tell Prof. Fischer about this. Nel laughed. Want to come over? She asked him, smiling.
Lewis loved her smile.
She drove Lewis back to his apartment the next morning before class. It was raining. Big drops pounding hard against car roof.
Thanks. Lewis said. Every drop that doesn't hit me is a favor.
Write that down. Nel told him. You'll like it later. He did.
Lewis rushed through his two bowls of cereal and quickly took a shower. He didn't want to wash her off of his skin, but Lewis knew that he'd be unable to concentrate so long as he could smell her. In anatomy Nel sat next to the swimmer. Lewis sulked in the seventh row. He took the opportunity to remind himself that he wasn't her boyfriend. He wasn't sure what he was to her. There was a latex blowout in the inguinal region of his cat. Made finding the ureter impossible. The bright red rubber sprayed from the left renal artery, covering the entire pelvic region with an unnatural pall. He looked on another group's dissection to confirm the locations he needed to remember. When you've finished your checklist you can put your cats away for the day. Lewis was curious how a smaller cat's veins could withstand the pressure of the latex injection while his larger specimen's ruptured, he suspected that arterial walls had been weakened by the larger cat's higher blood pressure, not that he could confirm or refute his theory. I'm over-thinking this, he thought to himself.
Nel often slept over, or invited Lewis to stay with her. Most times she would curl up next to him and sleep, nothing more or less. I should stop this, Lewis would think to himself as she played the little spoon, her back pressed tightly to his chest. He'd rather have a warm body next to him than the alternative. When she came to bed wearing only underwear, Lewis knew to expect more. Nel would pull him close. Like a lover, not just an animate teddy bear. Lewis wondered if this is how people behaved in marriage; sex rationed out like packets of artificial sweetener. I love you, Lewis wanted to say. He knew better. She would look at him afterwards as they lay together. Look at him like she wanted to be seeing someone else. Transverse to the temporalis muscle is the masseter. Note it's size. One of the stronger muscles in the body, it controls gross motor functions in the jaw.
Snow littered the ground outside Nel's window, flakes falling slowly in the yellow streetlight. They had a long night ahead, studying for their final Anatomy exam. They procrastinated well together, constantly earning high grades despite protracted cram sessions the night before.
What do the greater and lesser omentum do? Nel quizzed him.
Protects the abdominal organs. It can increase fat concentration over an injury by contracting and expanding as needed. He replied.
Great. Your question.
Lewis had many things he wanted to ask. None of them related to the exam.
What is it called when an egg implants outside the uterus?
Ectopic pregnancy. Ask me something tough.
What are the layers of the cranial meninges, superficial to deep?
Dura mater.
Nel had been dating recently. Carefully choosing the layers of each outfit so that, if she so desired, a sweater could be removed or unbuttoned to reveal an appropriate amount of skin.
Arachnoid mater.
She would debrief Lewis after the fact, crawling into his bed, wrapping herself in his arms.
Pia mater.
He wasn't worth cleavage. She said of one suitor, laughing. I'm sending you mixed signals, aren't I? She wondered out loud, nuzzling into his shoulder.
You're such a burrower. He replied warmly.
I know. She said, her voice muffled by his armpit.
Lewis had made weak, ineffectual attempts to date as well. But he found it hard to search for a person he'd already found. The few girls he did take out never had a chance. He'd have felt guilty about that if there had been any overtures of interest from them, but they always seemed equally disinterested. Small favors, Lewis told himself.
Nel was impatient but happy as Lewis fumbled with his glasses. New frames. Very handsome, she had told him. They were going on a dress-up dinner date to celebrate nothing in particular. Melanie and John were sitting in the living room. They had long since given up speculating on Nel and Lewis, and had segued to a tentative acceptance of the non-relationship. Lewis cinched his tie and put on his suit coat, a very nice one, considering he'd gotten it at the Goodwill.
Ready? He said.
She pulled him into his bedroom, closing the door.
I'm sorry for being impatient. She told him while straightening her slacks.
Okay. He replied, kissing her on the cheek. I know this was kind of a big deal for you. Actually going out.
Let's gooooo. She was in abnormally high spirits. This encouraged Lewis.
Goodbye friends. She called into the adjacent room. I love you, John, I love you, Melanie.
They left the apartment and walked to Lewis' car, snow slushing under their feet.
What about me? Lewis asked.
Hm? Oh, we have an understanding. She said.
Yeah. He paused. On good days.
I love you, Lewis. She said in a sing-song voice. Walking ahead of him she twirled in the snow.
Jellybean. Lewis replied, not sure if she could hear him.
User Reviews
Submitted by Fey (user info) at 2008-06-30 04:14:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
What earth_collapse said. You get a plus two anyway, because I've plus twoed worse.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2008-06-30 03:34:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
what is with the olde skool UberMasters coing out lately??
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2008-06-26 00:24:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I remembered your name from Ubermadness.
Submitted by GodChicken (user info) at 2008-06-23 18:15:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Chroniclysm (user info) at 2008-06-23 17:57:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Yeah. Maybe I do have the right ... What's that stuff?
-- Homer Simpson
Deep Space Homer
?
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2008-06-23 13:31:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by scottp8113 (user info) at 2008-06-23 12:57:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Not bad, it was told well enough to keep me interested and it flowed well. Is there an ending to it?
Submitted by earth_collapse (user info) at 2008-06-23 12:12:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You have a good voice, a good sense of structure, a fairly powerful opening, and a strong premise... but this was fairly arduous to read.
Thee characters were not believable, they didn't seem entirely human. They were quirky, but stock.
This idea of a non-relationship is interesting, especially how you explore it, though not enough attention is paid to how each character entirely feels about it. What's at stake? Where's the conflict? Is there jealousy? Fear of abandonment from Lewis? Is there any realization, any transition for either character?
This is Lewis' story, for much of the thought is directed by him, which doesn't go very far in discovering motivation for Nel, who's truly the crux of the story. She meanders through as a slut, an unlikable slut. Is that how you want the reader to feel? Do you think giving the reader more ability to like her might drive the story more appropriately? We need to know why she does the things she does. Why does she date other men but feel so much love for Lewis? Why does she continually sleep with him, spend time with him, and care about him? And for that matter, what the fuck does Lewis see in her besides beauty?
Hope this helps.
And work on your formatting, it was really fucking difficult to read without quotations and spacing.
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2008-06-23 12:11:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
That was not short.
Fuck it. I thought it was a good read. It entertained me, it flowed well, I'm not going to ask anything else of it and I think it would have been pish at half the length.
Ta.
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2008-06-23 11:55:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
I was interested enough to scan the introductory portion, and I must say I am surprised at your proposal that I peruse and mentally process the entirety of this offering!
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-06-23 11:53:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Nothing special.
Submitted by SgtHartman (user info) at 2008-06-23 11:51:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
holy fuck im not reading all that.
A for effort mang.
Submitted by The_Drake (user info) at 2008-06-23 11:45:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Short story my ass.
Im not reading all that.
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2008-06-23 11:43:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Not much to say really.
Submitted by sexualchocolate1984 (user info) at 2008-06-23 11:43:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Phew, read it all.
Don't bother, it's quite shit. Not awful, but quite shit.
Submitted by GangsterSquid (user info) at 2008-06-23 11:29:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
What the fuck! I'm not reading all that!