The (mis)adventures of apartment life (324 hits)
Category: GeneralRating: -1.26 on 19 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by dangerdude (View user info) at 2008-06-26 23:22:32 EDT
This
I moved into my first apartment a few weeks ago. It's cool, I'm young and at school. I'm not a thirty year old virgin living with my parents, I promise. Last year I lived in a frat house, it was wonderful. I didn't have to shower, I had all the booze I needed, and I could get up at the crack of noon everyday and roll out of bed and go to class. But finally the year ended, and I decided to get an apartment with a couple of my friends.
So far, it's worked out pretty well. the neighbors across the hall are all on the cheer-leading squad (Jackpot!), the place is big, and I can walk around barefoot without the danger of gangrene, or large rodents mistaking my toes for food. But, with the good, comes the bad, as always. Now most of my roommates are cool. One of them is kinda smelly, and his room is a mess, but I just keep the door closed and he's usually at work, so no big deal. I keep telling myself that I'll get around to training him, but so far he hasn't really needed it. But my other roommate is a real head-case. I'm going to call him Sebastion. Thats not his real name, his real name is Matt, but I'm going to call him Sebastion because I feel like it and its a funny name. Anyway, he's definatly good to have around. We get along, and he's a neat freak, so he balances out the smelly one pretty well. But he's bizarre. He scares girls off, walks around and answers the door with no shirt on, and he and his girlfriend were up last night til like 3 in the morning making jungle noises the kept me up, and I slept in for class today.
Do any of you know someone who always says everything twice? Even if its the most mundane comment that has no impact whatsoever on anyone's life, he makes sure that you've heard him? That's Sebastion. Take for example, his addiction to guacamole. I don't get it. I decided one day to make some guac and watch the cubs game, so I do, and now he makes it practically every day. Sebastion will come home from work, head over to the kitchen, and whip up some guacamole. Then he will sit down, eat the whole thing of it, and tell me the whole time how much he loves guacamole. Now don't get me wrong, I love the stuff, its delicious. But after smelling that shit every day, its kinda gotten old.
Now I'm not going to sit here and tell you everything that irks me about this guy. You wouldn't have th patience for that, and it would have to be a multi-volume set anyways, so I'll just finish by telling you what he did today. So I'm doing laundry, and I finish washing a load, and its time to throw it in the dryer. I open it up, and wonder why it smells so delicious and minty fresh. I take a peek and to my horror, every square inch of the inside is covered with some sticky, white substance. turns out he forgot to take a FULL pack of gum out of his pocket when he did his laundry the other day, and now I had to scrape all of that shit off. Not cool.
Well anyways, I'm done bitching. I think I'm going to go get hammered now. I'll keep you guys updated if he does anything else retarded. Peace Uber.
User Reviews
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2008-06-27 07:59:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
well congrats on that internship LM, nothing better than leaving Uber!!
sure we will keep on chatting
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2008-06-27 07:06:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm ok pickle. I'm just a bit sad that I have to spend my last day working solo on the boat inside because it's raining. Can't varnish in the rain. Plus I wont be around on uber very much at all (if ever) after today because I start my internship at the hospital on monday.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2008-06-27 06:52:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You sound down in the dumps LM. I was only being sarcastic anyhoo.
Soon to be the weekend and my lady has set me free.......im wondering how to spend it.
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2008-06-27 06:50:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Sorry, my computer had a senior moment and I didn't notice.
*looks woefull*
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2008-06-27 06:47:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
well the 3 reviews in a row........
sorry did i wake you up?
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2008-06-27 06:42:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2008-06-27 06:25:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Oh LM!
____
What?!
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-06-27 06:35:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
You sound about as fun as a mouthful of wasabi.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2008-06-27 06:25:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Oh LM!
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2008-06-27 06:22:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Wow, the problems you have with your college roommates make the death toll from the recent earthquakes and floods seem trivial in scope and pale in storytelling detail. I'll bet once CNN reads this they'll have a crew at your place in no time, so the world will know your plight.
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2008-06-27 06:19:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
I'm going to call him Sebastion. Thats not his real name, his real name is Matt, but I'm going to call him Sebastion because I feel like it
This was the only thing that stopped this being an out and out -2 DIE. Really pickle, this was awful. Your writing on the whole is not entertaining and it flows like ketchup. I don't want to have to beat a story out of you. Next time, writing something and then put it in a file and don't look at it again for a week. Read it through and after tweeking and cheeking that you really think what you have written could entertain someone else. Post. If you don't think so, scrap it and go and talk to other people who are sharing flats. YOu will find that the things that bother you about your flat mates are very very trivial incomparison to what they are dealing with. How your flat mates and you are behaving is compleately normal for people who have just moved in to their first flat. Give the guy a break, he left gum in his pocket. Though, having said that, stop being such a woman and make him clean it off.
Sorry about the essay. Take it easy. I hope you do post again.....but on the above conditions.
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2008-06-27 06:19:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
I'm going to call him Sebastion. Thats not his real name, his real name is Matt, but I'm going to call him Sebastion because I feel like it
This was the only thing that stopped this being an out and out -2 DIE. Really pickle, this was awful. Your writing on the whole is not entertaining and it flows like ketchup. I don't want to have to beat a story out of you. Next time, writing something and then put it in a file and don't look at it again for a week. Read it through and after tweeking and cheeking that you really think what you have written could entertain someone else. Post. If you don't think so, scrap it and go and talk to other people who are sharing flats. YOu will find that the things that bother you about your flat mates are very very trivial incomparison to what they are dealing with. How your flat mates and you are behaving is compleately normal for people who have just moved in to their first flat. Give the guy a break, he left gum in his pocket. Though, having said that, stop being such a woman and make him clean it off.
Sorry about the essay. Take it easy. I hope you do post again.....but on the above conditions.
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2008-06-27 06:17:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
I'm going to call him Sebastion. Thats not his real name, his real name is Matt, but I'm going to call him Sebastion because I feel like it
This was the only thing that stopped this being an out and out -2 DIE. Really pickle, this was awful. Your writing on the whole is not entertaining and it flows like ketchup. I don't want to have to beat a story out of you. Next time, writing something and then put it in a file and don't look at it again for a week. Read it through and after tweeking and cheeking that you really think what you have written could entertain someone else. Post. If you don't think so, scrap it and go and talk to other people who are sharing flats. YOu will find that the things that bother you about your flat mates are very very trivial incomparison to what they are dealing with. How your flat mates and you are behaving is compleately normal for people who have just moved in to their first flat. Give the guy a break, he left gum in his pocket. Though, having said that, stop being such a woman and make him clean it off.
Sorry about the essay. Take it easy. I hope you do post again.....but on the above conditions.
Submitted by zoobie2000 (user info) at 2008-06-27 05:44:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
i hope you get gang-raped by aids infested crackheads who force you to lick their balls. now go and get fucked up the arse
Submitted by Chroniclysm (user info) at 2008-06-27 03:11:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Chroniclysm (user info) at 2008-06-27 03:10:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Searchiiinn....SEEK AND DESTROY.
Submitted by GodChicken (user info) at 2008-06-27 01:17:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by Jorge_Burrito (user info) at 2008-06-27 01:05:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2008-06-27 00:10:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I'm sorry, our 'danger' quota is full up at the moment. Perhaps you can apply again in a few years?
Submitted by Wildman (user info) at 2008-06-26 23:44:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
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