The Gateway to Heaven. part 1 (351 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.06 on 18 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by The Brad (View user info) at 2008-06-30 23:53:17 EDT
Jason Donnely lived in a ramshackle cottage by the river. Two rooms and a porch with a view, the place had been hammered together in the 1950s and had been falling apart ever since. Once used by unknown rugged individuals for fishing vacations, it had no electric service, and an outhouse served as the toilet. The only running water was what passed in the river. A fireplace provided heat and allowed for his simple cooking, what meals Donnely ate were spooned from hot cans.
Once the property had been privately owned. Now it belonged to the county, perhaps seized for back taxes. Like much government land, it was poorly managed. No beaurocrats or game wardens had bothered Jason since the day, eleven years ago, when he had cleaned out the cottage and laid out his bedroll. No neighbors lived wihtin sight or even shouting distance of his secluded outpost, which suited him just fine.
Until 3:45 the previous morning, when he had been prodded awake by a visitor in a ski mask: Then what had seemed like comfortable solitude had become terrifying isolation.
He had fallen asleep without snuffing the oil lamp by which he read romance novels and drank himself into sleep and forgetfulness. The strangers eyes shone a sicky yellow in reflection of the lamplight. Looking down from his silent eyes, Jason took in the rest of the of the visitor. Black ski mask, black shirt and pants, his height was exaggerated by the position Jason took laying at his feet. The slim curved blade he held in his hand spoke volumes.
"You used to be a real person, a good person." the stranger said, "I am here to help you find your humanity." He spoke in a friendy voice, but his eyes were as hard as diamonds.
Jason spoke in a voice he had never heard coming from himself, a quarvering and fearful whisper that was meant to sound forceful and assertive. "I am a good person. I haven't hurt anyone. I just want to be left alone." The visitor smiled slightly, his mask revealing the motion, then he spoke again. "You were a person. Now you are masquerading as one. I am your salvation."
"You will speak for me." the visitors tone left room for no argument, "You will redeem yourself. You will speak to the person i tell you to speak to,you will tell him how you were alligned with me, and you will describe every moment of our encounter tonight." The stranger paused, the smile melting from something friendly into a deadly threat, and then pressed the blade he held aginst jason's left temple.
"This is what you will tell him. You will tell him you know me only as a stranger in black, a dark spectre sent to reform him from a place of darkness into light, an angel of life, sent to recall death. Your life is attached to his now, his death is your death, If he does not believe you."
User Reviews
Submitted by TheBrad (user info) at 2008-07-01 12:14:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i do not remember writing or posting this, i should drink less. or more. I will do more. more is good for me.
Submitted by X54 (user info) at 2008-07-01 11:09:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Needs more.
Submitted by The-Armed-Samurai (user info) at 2008-07-01 09:11:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/117427
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2008-07-01 08:12:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Has possibilities. Run your spell and grammar checkers, then proofread. Read it aloud. After doing all those things and making the changes doing so inspired you to make, post.
If you're going to use physiological details, research them. The Jugular Vein and Carotid Artery are close to the surface of the neck betweent he side musculature and the larnyx on both sides under the jaw. The thin area of the skull known as the 'temple' makes it especially easy to get a light/small object through the bone and into the brain but is too small in cross-section to allow a wide low-energy object such as a knife to pass deeply. Ice picks and small-caliber guns to the temple; knives go on throats. The base of the skull is also good for ice picks and knives as there is no skull to protect it, but using a gun there tends to make the head lose structural integrity and coherence in a rapid and energetic, and quite messy, manner. HTH
Submitted by tloshjohnson (user info) at 2008-07-01 05:21:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
HELLO... IS THERE ANYBODY OUT THERE?
JUST NOD IF YOU CAN HEAR ME....
IS THEER ANYBODY HOME.....
Anyone clicked the link?
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2008-07-01 05:08:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
im certainly not clicking on that
Submitted by tloshjohnson (user info) at 2008-07-01 04:57:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2008-07-01 04:43:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by tloshjohnson (user info) at 2008-07-01 09:37:00 BST (#)
Ranking: 0
EI, I wanna ask you something.
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Go on then
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what the hell is the link on the uberboard about.
Can you click it and report back?
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2008-07-01 04:43:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by tloshjohnson (user info) at 2008-07-01 09:37:00 BST (#)
Ranking: 0
EI, I wanna ask you something.
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Go on then.
Submitted by tloshjohnson (user info) at 2008-07-01 04:39:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Oh, and TheBrad I'm perplexed by this part 'No neighbors lived wihtin sight or even shouting distance of his secluded outpost, which suited him just fine.' Does it make sense?
Submitted by tloshjohnson (user info) at 2008-07-01 04:37:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
EI, I wanna ask you something.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2008-07-01 04:35:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You are always drunk you dirty bastard.
Submitted by iambetteratit (user info) at 2008-07-01 03:46:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by woolfe (user info) at 2008-07-01 03:37:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by MackTuesday (user info) at 2008-07-01 00:42:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This makes *no sense*, but it is somewhat intriguing, so I reserve judgment. +2 to preserve the average.
Submitted by Val (user info) at 2008-07-01 00:23:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i would sell my torso for some booze, but i'm too tired right now
Submitted by GangsterSquid (user info) at 2008-07-01 00:10:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Looks like something worth reading but I'm too tired to read it now.
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2008-07-01 00:09:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Better than your last post, I would suggest some changes but I'm too lazy at the moment.
Submitted by TheBrad (user info) at 2008-06-30 23:58:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I have a lot more to this story, but i am too drunk to type it out right now.