My desert car trip thoughts (583 hits)
Category: NoneRating: -0.36 on 22 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Kirillovian_Shit_Stain (View user info) at 2008-07-02 02:49:05 EDT
"It's so fucking hot in this car." Jack wiped the beads of sweat off his forehead with the back of his hand, and cursed the day the air conditioner broke.
"Shut the fuck up Andre. I love this song." Jack's sister Heather sat in the passenger seat where a pool of sweat made her ass feel like it was covered in piss. It smelled that way anyway. String cheese is capable of interesting things when taken on car trips through the desert.
"Choosing to be here in this body, this body holding me, be my reminder that I am not alone..." The radio blasted its music through the speakers.
As their 1984 Toyota Corolla zoomed down the desert highway, endless expanses of flat land, sprinkled with a few cacti, provided them with scenery. Not much to look at if you're not a sun worshipping freak. The road divided the scene right in two, all the way to the horizon. The two did not speak, as they were irritated and hung over. For nearly two hours they simply listened to the music. But then the music stopped, and shortly after that they died.
"We interrupt this music broadcast to bring you an important announcement!" An authoritative voice cut into the song, and proceeded to ask the audience to pray.
"What the fuck? Change the channel, Heather." Jack was disgusted that his only comfort was taken away from him by some stupid news update.
Heather changed the station, but the same voice was speaking on every channel. Something about a terrorist attack, or a natural disaster or something. Jack and Heather submitted to the voice, and listened. Before the dumbass on the radio got his point across to them however, and this all happened in a very short span of time mind you, Jack saw something in the mirror.
It was as if the ground behind them was swiftly being overcome by an impossibly tall wall of fire. He took a closer look. He saw vortexes of flame spinning before it, and the wall was approaching the car. The two did not speak, but they looked at each other. Heather turned off the radio. Jack took his foot of the gas. They were incinerated. It's possible that they died of terror before their bones were burnt to dust, but there is nothing left of them to examine. And examinations need examiners. Everyone is dead.
User Reviews
Submitted by KirillovianShitStain (user info) at 2008-07-05 02:34:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by heyzues (user info) at 2008-07-04 13:50:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
This! This is what you bring?! You sit there and make personal insults and this is the shit you bring? To think that I wasted precious moments of my life thinking that maybe your criticisms were somehow educated. I will not rate this because I don't want some negative two war, but I will say that you are a fucking hypocrite.
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Dumbass.
Submitted by heyzues (user info) at 2008-07-04 13:50:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
This! This is what you bring?! You sit there and make personal insults and this is the shit you bring? To think that I wasted precious moments of my life thinking that maybe your criticisms were somehow educated. I will not rate this because I don't want some negative two war, but I will say that you are a fucking hypocrite.
Submitted by KirillovianShitStain (user info) at 2008-07-02 13:52:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Heather called Jack Andre because I can't edit anything.
And I'm glad I could inspire you, but I'm not the way you describe that noob in your story.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2008-07-02 11:33:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
wow
how's that for shite, trite and light?
Submitted by X54 (user info) at 2008-07-02 11:11:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Why did Heather call Jack Andre?
I would have liked this better without "and shortly after that they died" giving away the ending prematurely.
BTW, Mr. Kirillovian_Shit_Stain, you were the inspiration for this story: http://www.ubersite.com/m/117334.
"I hereby no longer care about the score. Flame away, flamers. I'll find the substance that the people who aren't total tools give me regardless, so we're all happy."
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2008-07-02 08:38:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
*sigh*
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2008-07-02 05:02:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
toe toe toe toe toe toe toe toetoe toe toe toe toe toe toe toetoe toe toe toe toe toe toe toetoe toe toe toe toe toe toe toetoe toe toe toe toe toe toe toetoe toe toe toe toe toe toe toetoe toe toe toe toe toe toe toetoe toe toe toe toe toe toe toetoe toe toe toe toe toe toe toetoe toe toe toe toe toe toe toetoe toe toe toe toe toe toe toetoe toe toe toe toe toe toe toetoe toe toe toe toe toe toe toetoe toe toe toe toe toe toe toetoe toe toe toe toe toe toe toetoe toe toe toe toe toe toe toetoe toe toe toe toe toe toe toetoe toe toe toe toe toe toe toetoe toe toe toe toe toe toe toetoe toe toe toe toe toe toe toetoe toe toe toe toe toe toe toetoe toe toe toe toe toe toe toetoe toe toe toe toe toe toe toetoe toe toe toe toe toe toe toe
Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2008-07-02 04:59:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
happy to contribute.
Submitted by KirillovianShitStain (user info) at 2008-07-02 04:53:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Well, thanks for stopping in to rate something stupid you wrote on my page, shit stain.
Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2008-07-02 04:52:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I was talking about my ending, you can go home now.
Submitted by KirillovianShitStain (user info) at 2008-07-02 04:47:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You know, the "ending" was more than half of the story, so can you be specific?
Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2008-07-02 04:44:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I recently had to drive a shitty toyota corrola as a courtsey car, it sucked. Especially in the rain. However, there was this one time....I won't elaborate, the ending was still shitty.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2008-07-02 04:38:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
do you check if stories are on other sites FJ??
Seems like an awful amount of effort!
Submitted by KirillovianShitStain (user info) at 2008-07-02 04:31:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
If it's http://peterss7405926.blogspot.com then yes. That me. I post a lot of shit in there and some of it goes here.
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-07-02 04:30:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
There is a blog with this exact story on it. Is that you, or...?
Submitted by KirillovianShitStain (user info) at 2008-07-02 04:29:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Good, because here's the horrifying truth! This is based off a dream I had. I thought it was absolutely nuts and I wanted to see what people think.
Submitted by orph (user info) at 2008-07-02 04:27:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I liked this. I'm glad there wasn't just another abrupt ending.
Submitted by tatersninja (user info) at 2008-07-02 03:53:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
???????
Submitted by KirillovianShitStain (user info) at 2008-07-02 03:34:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
huh?
Submitted by deej_deej (user info) at 2008-07-02 03:33:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
?eh?
Submitted by frankthebear (user info) at 2008-07-02 03:22:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
meh
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2008-07-02 03:15:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Ummmmm ok