Trains (719 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.75 on 31 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Hornet (View user info) at 2008-07-02 12:54:02 EDT
There is a rail line behind my house. Old freight trains run along that line. Before I bought the house people warned me that a train running through the area will have a serious impact on property values. I don't mind it though. In fact I like the sound of the long freights, especially at night. The sound of steel wheels clicking across the rails is something that many of us rarely hear these days and I find it almost comforting. Sometimes that rough music is accompanied by the forlorn sound of the train whistle like a call for help from someone who is lost.
A woman died on those tracks last month. She was an Arab, or an Indian. I heard a bus driver talking about it when I was getting my morning coffee and a bran muffin at George's. Every once in a while someone is hit by a freight, always accidentally. I think that is strange. The freights don't move very fast and they shake the ground and have whistles and that bright light, visible even in daytime. The bus driver said the woman walked to the tracks near an intersection. He saw it happen while he waited in a line of vehicles behind the crossing gate. The gate was down, red lights were flashing and a loud bell was clanging. The woman kneeled down on one of the wooden ties. This was not an accident. The train operator tried to stop, but he was too late.
The bus driver said, "She was a tiny little thing with dark skin and grey hair. When the train hit her she came apart in neat little pieces. I hardly saw any blood. She was wearing one of those wrap-around things..."
I suggested, "A sari?"
He said, "Exactly. All these layers of pink and green cloth like gauze. The train hit her and she just came apart, and as those parts rolled away from the tracks strips of her clothes wrapped around pieces of her and when they came to a stop they looked like little wrapped bundles of laundry. One of the local cops said the guy operating the train is getting counseling. He was really shook up."
I drive by a dry cleaner every day on the way home from work, and now when I see those familiar white and blue paper-wrapped bundles stacked in the window and waiting to be picked up I wonder what is really inside them.
User Reviews
Submitted by simple_catalyst (user info) at 2008-07-22 23:31:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by messmind (user info) at 2008-07-03 17:02:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I sense more kick from where that came from.
Submitted by matnotharry (user info) at 2008-07-03 16:34:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I enjoyed reading this
Submitted by shadow (user info) at 2008-07-03 16:25:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
This was pretty good, but I'm not sure it's "Kicker of all ass" good.
Longer, more detail, beef up the imagery... the usual.
Still, though, you should keep at it.
Submitted by jade_digitalmedia (user info) at 2008-07-03 15:48:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I always used to like things wrapped in one color of paper, but now I'll always remember this indian woman from your story.
Way to ruin my happy thoughts assmonkey.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-07-03 10:37:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
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Submitted by sexualchocolate1984 (user info) at 2008-07-03 15:10:11 BST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-07-03 05:19:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Is it still "Write Like Ghola Friday"?
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No as this isn't dull.
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I beg to differ, this is VERY dull.
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trains, chopped up women, saris, what more could you ask for?
apart from a plot, i mean.
go spread your happiness over uber, chocy ;)
Submitted by sexualchocolate1984 (user info) at 2008-07-03 10:10:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-07-03 05:19:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Is it still "Write Like Ghola Friday"?
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No as this isn't dull.
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I beg to differ, this is VERY dull.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-07-03 05:19:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Is it still "Write Like Ghola Friday"?
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No as this isn't dull.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-07-03 05:17:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2008-07-03 08:01:36 BST (#)
Ranking: 1
Really needs to be longer, my man. Enjoyable nonetheless.
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I agree with this statement, I really enjoyed reading this at 5am when baby woke me by kicking my spleen.
However, I would never condescend to say 'my man'.
Unless you were my husband. Which is entirely impossible.
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-07-03 04:52:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
All I can hear from my bedroom window are seagulls eating the homeless.
Oh, and first thing in the morning the guy with the cart: "Bring out yer dead...BONG!...Bring out yer dead...BONG!..."
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2008-07-03 04:34:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Concise, powerful and interesting.
It is everything that Fallen's post wasn't.
Submitted by czwij (user info) at 2008-07-03 03:55:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i like trains
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2008-07-03 03:01:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Really needs to be longer, my man. Enjoyable nonetheless.
Submitted by DonkeyOnTheEdge (user info) at 2008-07-02 21:49:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
A promising start to an Uber career. Don't turn to shit like the rest of us.
Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals (user info) at 2008-07-02 21:01:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This was fucking GREAT!
Submitted by X54 (user info) at 2008-07-02 17:57:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2008-07-02 12:36:25 PDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'd like if this were longer!
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I second that.
I like listening to the train at night, too. As the crow flies, the tracks are about ten miles from my house. But if atmospheric conditions are right the sound rumbles up from the valley, over the foothills and into the mountains. I'll think of your Indian lady when I hear it now, her parts scattering like brightly colored streamers in the wind.
Submitted by Hornet (user info) at 2008-07-02 16:12:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Thank you for your comments. I did not think this would be good.
Submitted by comicbookguy (user info) at 2008-07-02 15:48:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2008-07-02 15:36:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'd like if this were longer!
Submitted by Lib (user info) at 2008-07-02 15:32:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Pentameter (user info) at 2008-07-02 15:27:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Freaky.
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2008-07-02 15:09:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
another 2 from me
Submitted by Poots (user info) at 2008-07-02 15:08:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I wonder how far, on average, a human nipple will stretch.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2008-07-02 14:50:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2008-07-02 14:45:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2008-07-02 14:05:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Yozz (user info) at 2008-07-02 13:58:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Is it still "Write Like Ghola Friday"?
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2008-07-02 13:30:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I have a horrible feeling this wont get many ratings.
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2008-07-02 13:16:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
cool, but its probably just laundry
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2008-07-02 13:11:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Interesting...
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2008-07-02 12:56:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
That's kinda interesting.