Basking in my own Magniloquence (521 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.29 on 14 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by CATAL (View user info) at 2008-07-02 14:02:35 EDT
Life is good when you're me, because I'm larger than life, I'm amazing, nay, awe-inspiring. People see me walking down the street and avert their eyes, casting their bodies down prostrate upon the ground saying rosaries or some such nonsense. And I just laugh, laugh, laugh, giddy with my own insane genius sparked forth by that rare quality in men that only a select few possess. Alexander the Great had it. Louis XIV had it. Walt Disney had it. And now I have it. Aha ha ha ha ha ha!
Yes, yes, I know how you all feel, "Who is this Adonis? This magical man? This man puts all else to shame simply by sneezing?" I am CATAL, though my full title shall be foregone, for the sake of you, poor uberites, I fear my full title should melt your brains and detonate every bone in your bodies at the speed of light. 'Tis a pity, but rest assured, that when the apocalypse does come, it will come in the form of loudspeakers chanting my magnificent name!
You simple folk, you poor uberites, no doubt are asking yourself why you may count yourselves so lucky, so fortunate, to be pleased and enthralled by my words and company at the present moment. I have come to preach the word of me, his high eminence, his graciousness, his most unequaled self in all matters. And that word is "Krumpiloffinhakkin!" Those who are worthy shall understand its meaning and significance. And on that wonderfully, magnificent, ode to me, which supersedes all other possible and impossible, probable and not, real and unreal hymns, chants, and praises, I leave you, go now, go back to those pathetic aspects of your lives that don't involve me. 'Ta!
O Fortuna
velut luna
statu variabilis,
semper crescis
aut decrescis;
vita detestabilis
nunc obdurat
et tunc curat
ludo mentis aciem,
egestatem,
potestatem
dissolvit ut glaciem.
Sors immanis
et inanis,
rota tu volubilis,
status malus,
vana salus
semper dissolubilis,
obumbrata
et velata
michi quoque niteris;
nunc per ludum
dorsum nudum
fero tui sceleris.
Sors salutis
et virtutis
michi nunc contraria,
est affectus
et defectus
semper in angaria.
Hac in hora
sine mora
corde pulsum tangite;
quod per sortem
sternit fortem,
mecum omnes plangite!
User Reviews
Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2008-07-03 18:16:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2008-07-03 03:22:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Toe is so narky sometimes
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what's narky?
Submitted by Ltap (user info) at 2008-07-03 08:43:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Lemmings +2
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2008-07-03 08:12:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by DonkeyOnTheEdge (user info) at 2008-07-02 19:21:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Your title was probably off putting. Vidja games rule.
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-07-03 04:54:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Hitler...?
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2008-07-03 04:36:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
"...I'm larger than life"
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and twice as ugly.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2008-07-03 03:22:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Toe is so narky sometimes
Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2008-07-02 23:02:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
no.
Submitted by DonkeyOnTheEdge (user info) at 2008-07-02 19:21:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Your title was probably off putting. Vidja games rule.
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2008-07-02 17:03:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I fear my full title should melt your brains and detonate every bone in your bodies at the speed of light.
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That happened yesterday. :(
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2008-07-02 15:08:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
not really "die" so much as "fall over dead from boredom".
Is there a difference?
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2008-07-02 15:00:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I might die soon, fyi
Submitted by Yozz (user info) at 2008-07-02 14:23:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I'm not worthy
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2008-07-02 14:15:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Anagram of Can Always Trust A Liar: Truly Await Carnal Ass
Submitted by SgtHartman (user info) at 2008-07-02 14:10:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I think that you may have this website confused with some sort of pro wrestling.
and that makes me laugh.