May cause the voluntary ingesttion of chemicals (379 hits)
Category: NoneRating: -1.09 on 11 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by loveinbrevity (View user info) at 2008-07-02 17:44:25 EDT
She sat on the bathroom countertop. Her feet were in the sink. Her face was two inches from the mirror. She was plucking her eyebrows. She inspected each pore on her face closely. She trimmed her nose hair. There was a thin layer of white paste on her upper lip. She was removing her mustache. She had just spent an hour straightening her hair. She stepped down from the counter top. She found her reflection repugnant. That is not uncommon in girls her age.
Every man she has been in love with is dead. That is uncommon in girls her age. Her first love had eaten Drano. This was no longer a common means of committing suicide. There are plenty of new innovations in that field, such as pills or guns. He had eaten Drano specifically to ensure that his suicide was a direct insult to her. He was under the belief that love was a choice. He believed that you could love whomever you wanted for however long you choose. Relationships only failed when either or both parties decided to stop loving the other. He believed that you had to make the conscious decision to stop caring or to stop working on your differences in order to fall out of love. He believed that Amanda had deliberately hurt him by choosing not to love him anymore.
Here is where the Drano comes into play. Amanda's favorite book is "Breakfast of Champions" by Kurt Vonnegut. Even though he had never read the book himself, he was aware that one of the characters wives had killed herself by eating Drano. He had once heard Amanda say that she found it poetic that Vonnegut had chosen Drano as her means of suicide. Since Danny had no concept of poetry himself, he decided to borrow from Vonnegut. He knew his use of Drano would hit particularly close to home for Amanda.
Amanda was not allowed to see the suicide note. She was told that it was cruel. Danny's mother told her that he hadn't been in the right state of mind when he wrote it. Amanda didn't think that anyone who would eat Drano could be in the right state of mind ever. Despite his mothers best efforts to keep the note under wraps, it some how ended up scanned and on Myspace, like most secrets do. The suicide note looked like this.
Mhmmm. Delicious. First round on you Amanda. Second round on me.
Good bye Blue Monday.
The Blue Monday business was also from the same book. He wasn't aware of that though. He had seen that same banner painted above Amanda's washing machine. In "Breakfast of Champions" Good bye blue Monday had been the slogan for a washing machine company. Danny assumed it was just more poetry that he could not understand.
She removed the white paste from her upper lip. She sat at her vanity set and began to apply make-up. Concealer first. She dabbed a small brush dipped in flesh colored liquid at her blemishes. She blushed her cheeks and elongated her lashes. Her lips, like sofa pillows, she dabbed with red balm.
She had been in love once before that. She was 16, he was 30. He had been her high school chorus teacher. They had a brief affair. She never had sex with him. She loved him none the less. He loved her too; said she was beautiful and innocent. She was pure and untouched unlike all the other whores who had done him so wrong in the past. He would hold her head and kiss her lips. He told her they were like sofa pillows.
He ate too many Xanax. Amanda wasn't the star in his suicide note. Her name was mentioned though. This note she was allowed to see. It said nice things. Suicide notes are life's version of the end credits in movies.
She finished applying her make-up. "I should come with a warning label," she said quietly to herself "may cause the voluntary ingestion of poison." She grabbed her coat and walked out the door. It was time for a beer.
User Reviews
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-07-05 13:51:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
What the fuck
Submitted by sexualchocolate1984 (user info) at 2008-07-03 11:32:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Off you fuck, and PLEASE take this EMO bullshit with you.
Eat yourself some draino.
Submitted by Ltap (user info) at 2008-07-03 10:11:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Fuck, I hate Oathy for starting this annoying bandwagon. Now all the emos are posting the contents of their fucked-up dreams.
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-07-03 09:34:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2008-07-03 09:32:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
i could like this if it didn't suck so bad.
she did this. she thinks about that. then he does this. and she thinks this.
fuck me running. seriously. give her some life, bring her off the page! or not. fuck it. what do i care?
Submitted by frankthebear (user info) at 2008-07-03 01:30:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
could have used a little more background, but otherwise not bad. remember: paragraph breaks are our friends
Submitted by HateMudkips (user info) at 2008-07-03 00:34:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
format aside, i liked this
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2008-07-02 20:58:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2008-07-02 17:54:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
post this again so it will be on the front page, quick!
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2008-07-02 17:46:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
get your finger and tap your return bar
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2008-07-02 17:45:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Repost with double spaced paragraphs quickly.