Flying joos and guerilla kangaroos. (491 hits)
Category: NoneRating: -0.12 on 9 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by tato ninja (View user info) at 2008-07-03 15:12:13 EDT
I wish it was opposite day. Remember when you were a kid and you could spend the whole day (or about every hour when you remembered for 5-20 minutes at a time) claiming it's "Opposite Day" and it's completely acceptable? You could smack your friends, but hey, you didn't want to. It's opposite day, damnit!
You wanted to be obedient and listen; but it's opposite day! Kids are so crazy they will mismatch their socks (on PURPOSE???!!) or say "yes" when they mean, "no!".
I think having matching socks is highly underrated. I only get them about once every three months. Fuck laundry and fuck socks, too. I digress.
Where does chinchilla meat go when they make the coats, btw????
I thought of this while in traffic, and no cars would stop or slow down to let the cops get through. This asshole truck was next to me, and WOULD NOT PULL OVER OR EVEN SLOW down. I finally had to stomp on my brakes in front of the 5-0 and swerve into the other lane; I'm glad there were no cars there. Damn Asian drivers fucking up the confederate roads. I'll be goddamned.
O wait, I think it may have been opposite day a bit ago. My boss hired 6 or 7 felons recently released from FEDERAL PRISON. He fired me a few days later stating, "I'm going to keep trying to find that perfect person. Perfect. You're not it."
By the way, I know I'm no gershderned rocket scientist, but holy shit, all I did was open doors and say, "hi" and "bye" to people; which takes more effort to type than actually execute.
I'm going to buy a horse. Fuck traffic.
Did I mention this had no point.
It's not a story so ... eat nuts.
Blue diamond jalapeno smokehouse
or wasabi.
Damned delicioso.
....................................................................................................
^---Idk?
User Reviews
Submitted by heyzues (user info) at 2008-07-04 14:29:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
it made me smile.
Submitted by KirillovianShitStain (user info) at 2008-07-04 04:03:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Fuck you. I shit my pants when I finished reading the first paragraph. Now there's a huge shit stain on my new boxers.
Submitted by myshit (user info) at 2008-07-04 03:42:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
You are so 'far out' man.
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2008-07-03 20:47:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Where does chinchilla meat go when they make the coats, btw????
taco bell
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2008-07-03 18:15:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by ICO (user info) at 2008-07-03 16:51:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
This is a definite 'Worth reading'.
Submitted by tatersninja (user info) at 2008-07-03 16:08:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
um. Fuck you?
I don't pay taxes anyway. I'm a prostitute/ slam pig so I don't have to worry about something so bourgeois as that.
God, I love nuts.
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2008-07-03 15:45:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I heard that if you breathe helium and sing the National Anthem on Independance Day and post a video of it on Youtube you don't have to pay income tax next year. Just send the paperwork in with the Youtube link on it in the income space.
Submitted by Poots (user info) at 2008-07-03 15:34:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
pooping poles and eskimo holes.
For the record, I like eating nuts espicially if they have lots of skin on them.