No arrests, felonies, or jail for this ninja this 4th. It's not even 10am though. (Camwhore???) (515 hits)
Category: NoneRating: -1.3 on 18 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by tato ninja (View user info) at 2008-07-04 09:38:05 EDT
Ok, I have no plates. Long story short, Mapquest can go fuck it's conniving bitch-self and leave me to get lost on my own, thank you very much.
I didn't have my license, I'm insanely scatterbrained and I'm lucky I shit in the toilet half the time. Registration is...somewhere. And my license is out of state anyway. I've been darting angry glances into my mirrors for the past few weeks expecting to get pulled over at any time, most likely for speeding. I tend to go 15-25 over the limit 82.76% of the time... I'm a badass what can I say?
So I'm sitting half-retarded in the left turn lane and notice a cop two cars back and in the ... non-left turn lane..? Whatev. I gots my dunkin' donuts $2 abortion and I'm awake. All is well in the world.
I just forgot what I was writing. Fuck Dunkin' Donuts. (Which, you need 6 months experience drive though experience on a RESUME to apply there. My gf went in and apparently just stared at the guy. . . It's Tampa.)
Anyway, this guy I bought the car from "fixed" the AC for $320; but it doesn't work and sucks my balls like a happy starfish on a wet rock. So, I said "fuck him." Mature, I know. So I'm thinking there's an arrest warrant or something out because ... well there should be. He runs my shit and with my <b>great<b> luck; I know I'll be sitting in a waiting cell on my way back to Bennigans. Maybe by the time I'm out of federal prison I'll be closer to perfection for him...
No ticket. Tato- 1 World - 0
"Take care of it."
"Um. Stupid question. Can I get plates at the DMV?" (Tato -2 World- Fuck.)
" I was going to go last week. I mapquested it and took me to some fucking dead end piece of shit so I didn't...."
"Yeah." He tells me where the closest one is.
"Do I need to get my FL license, or can I just use my Iowa one?" There are signs all over work telling me to get it within ten days of moving. I don't know why I'm playing vapid bitch. (Tato -Infinity Plus 1, plus good luck, World- Who gives a shit? I just got out of a ticket somehow!!)
I'm done rambling now.
The whole point of this, you may be wondering.
I got a new tat.
I suck at waking up in the mornings.
I got a mosquito bite.
Dunkin Donuts is just fucking scary.
But, I didn't get a ticket, arrested, car impounded, and I still have a new tat!
User Reviews
Submitted by tatersninja (user info) at 2008-07-10 17:50:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
What's gtfo?
Submitted by Ejryuu (user info) at 2008-07-10 17:14:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
The phrase isn't "Tats or GTFO" but it's pretty close! Try again.
Submitted by tatersninja (user info) at 2008-07-10 16:41:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I used to work in a tattoo shop and got yelled at a lot for not helping stupid cunts.
They would 99% of the time get
Butterflies
Flowers
Stars
or hearts.
I got this because it was free, and it looks good with my other tat. Both of them are girly; but I don't get them to "reflect my inner self because that's a TRUE expression (or is it xprsshun) of myself lolllsoslzozlsosl ".
Btw I couldn't tell if you were being sarcastic or not. So I half-defended myself.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2008-07-10 03:52:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-07-04 15:58:02 BST (#)
Ranking: -2
cool tramp stamp
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Oh.
Right, tattoos on women can look hot but only the right kinda women.. Most women tend to go for the shitty butterfly on the foot or chinese symbol on the shoulder. Why why why why why.
Rock chicks can get away with it because they look so fucking cool. Plus they have proper tattoos.
Submitted by tatersninja (user info) at 2008-07-09 22:47:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Um ,it's not supposed to be dead or decaying, sometimes flowers do that thing where they fall off, they are not permanently attached. It's a fucking apple or cherry blossom retard. And my name's not melissa, but way to be insanely creepy orpehelia.
I have no clue what FJ is talking about.....
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-07-04 11:39:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
When a woman thinks that her house is on fire, her instinct is at once to rush to the thing which she values most. . . A married woman grabs at her baby - an unmarried one reaches for her jewel box.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-07-04 11:07:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
The petals falling off the dead, decaying weed are way cool, Melissa.
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2008-07-04 11:04:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
You are the reason the world thinks Florida is fucked up. Go back to Iowa and stop polluting my State with your stupidity and poor tattoo work.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-07-04 10:58:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
cool tramp stamp
Submitted by artemisia (user info) at 2008-07-04 10:51:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Submitted by tinactin (user info) at 2008-07-04 10:42:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
you referred to your "gf", people arent going to assume you're lezzie
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So you fucked up your alter already?!
Lol
Submitted by tatersninja (user info) at 2008-07-04 10:49:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
As in friend who is a girl. Most of my friends are manly bear-men, so I have to clarify, but I know.
Um. Yeah, all those indigenous folk are definitely childish and stupid. And ... that's probably one of the most ignorant things I've heard. You must be from Tampa. Or the South at least!
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2008-07-04 10:47:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Engraving permanent little pictures on your body is childish and stupid.
Submitted by tinactin (user info) at 2008-07-04 10:42:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
you referred to your "gf", people arent going to assume you're lezzie
Submitted by tatersninja (user info) at 2008-07-04 10:38:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Can you PLEASE tell me what an alter is?
I'm assuming it's someone who already has an account that has made another "fake" account to post complete SHIT to piss everyone off.
But, I'm just pissing everyone off anyway. Yeah, people keep thinking I'm a guy. I think myshit referred to me as a "him".... what the fucking bloody hell?
Submitted by Littlebint (user info) at 2008-07-04 10:30:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Are you a bloke? Because it looks like you have a very girly back
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-07-04 10:11:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by DonkeyOnTheEdge (user info) at 2008-07-04 10:00:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Worst. Alter. Ever.
Submitted by tatersninja (user info) at 2008-07-04 09:38:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Holy hell that came out HUMONGOUS!