RIP Shopping List (1122 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 0.9 on 45 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Jack McCallum (View user info) at 2008-07-05 20:28:19 EDT
What happened to the shopping list? You know, a single piece of paper bearing notes written with a ballpoint pen, a useful tool costing a few cents?
Have you been to the supermarket lately? Ever time I go now I see people wearing extravagant and expensive phone earpieces and having intense discussions or loud one-sided arguments about what to buy. What the fuck is that?
"No I got the Charmin, motherfucker, and it is staying my my cart! I know Angel Soft is cheaper but I told you Charmin is on sale so I got the motherfuckin Charmin!"
Why are people wearing these earpieces on a Saturday morning at 10 AM? Was there some fundamental change in society in the last year or so that affected everyone but me, making everyone but me so important that they cannot be out of reach for a twenty-minute grocery run and cannot possibly let a call go to home voicemail or the cell in their pocket or purse? Why do people wear these things at the movies? Why in God's name do they wear them when they enter a bathroom stall at work?
This obsession with overpriced phone accessories is insane, overtaking even the most practical of people who normally don't spend money on shit like that. It will only get worse here in California, now that the hands-free cell phone laws are in effect. People who don't have fucking health insurance or choose to feed their kids 'affordable' macaroni and cheese and hamburger helper and other starchy shit instead of 'expensive' fresh fruit and vegetables will suddenly find it necessary to drop a hundred bucks on a fancy gadget with little blue flashing lights. Is it the little blue flashing lights? Is that the appeal?
I went to Fry's Electronics (jesus, what a great store) and bought an earpiece AND an auto charger for my phone for about $12. Why was my earpiece so cheap? It is wired, not wireless. Yes, I said it, and now you can mock me. When driving and making that rare really, really important cell phone call that simply cannot wait I use a cheap earpiece that connects me to my phone via a solid length of wire.
It works just fine, thanks, and unlike the 'important people' I don't wear it in the supermarket, at the movies, or while taking a dump at work.
User Reviews
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2008-07-08 17:58:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
At a Korean grocer in Pennsylvania, baby. The receipt isn't itemized by description, but the prices were
0.67
1.99
1.99
1.00
1.59
1.49
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8.73
And the bananas were from a different store. Admittedly, I still don't eat enough vegetables, but I've learned to buy less and go back if need be so I don't waste food. But that right there is 16-18 servings of fruit or veg. I'm only one woman, and I don't eat all my meals at home, so it lasts about a week.
Submitted by vergedor (user info) at 2008-07-08 13:46:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Where can you get
4 oranges
2 baby eggplant
1 pint of blueberries
1 pint of grape tomatoes
1 sweet potato
2 bananas
1 avocado
for less than 10$????
Price ranges in my area in canadian dollars:
4 oranges = 2.00$ - 4.00$
2 baby eggplant = 1.50$ - 3.00$
1 pint of blueberries = 3.00 - 5.00$
1 pint of grape tomatoes = 3.00 - 5.00$
1 sweet potato = 1.00 - 2.00$
2 bananas = 1.00 - 1.50$
1 avocado = 0.69 - 1.50$
Lowest possible price if everything is in season or in sale at the same time (which means never) is: 12.19$
Highest price is 22$... average from experience is 19$.
Who can live a week on that list? I eat that in 2 days easy. I find the price per calory of fresh fruits and vegetables very high compared to meat and processed food.
My solution: Grow your own fucking food. (Shit 4 generations ago, most of us left the family farm!)
On a final note, I dont want fruits because the government told me I should eat healthy! It's the reverse, I tell the government that I need affordable fresh fruits but with no results.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-07-08 13:43:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by gina (user info) at 2008-07-08 13:37:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
POW! THAT's how you do it, everyone! If a woman says something negative, go right for the ole' "she must be on the rag" zinger! Nice one, Jack!
--
No Ace, just you.
Submitted by gina (user info) at 2008-07-08 13:37:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
POW! THAT's how you do it, everyone! If a woman says something negative, go right for the ole' "she must be on the rag" zinger! Nice one, Jack!
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-07-08 13:02:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Gina, is this a lunar cycle thing?
Submitted by gina (user info) at 2008-07-08 12:34:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Wow, you sure nailed society on this one, Jack. Railing against cell phones and earpieces? Really? I am stunned by your originality and cutting edge astuteness. Next, I think you should do a piece on those frustrating people who leave their turn signal on, or the guys who wear their pants too low. I'd be willing to bet that, just like this one, your take on those subjects would be utterly different from the 10 million other diatribes that have been written on that very same subject!
And then you really bring it on home by calling those people.... wait for it.... self important! ZING! It's as if you have a direct access line to all that is relevant. Self important! See how Jack did that everybody? He took a current social phenomena and then raked it over the coals by pointing out how everyone who partakes of it is actually selfish and shallow! Man! That's good writing right there....
Some people actually have new and original thoughts, but I really appreciate how you don't trouble yourself with things like NEW and ORIGINAL, choosing instead to simply recycle the same curmudgeonly arguements that currently litter the web. THAT's innovation, THATS courage.
I keep waiting for the day you actually say the words, "Freedom isn't free" or "It's Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve." I will probably shake with ecstatic glee when I read one of those phrases in your post....
Here's a list of some other, cutting edge topics that I think would appeal to your rapier like intellect:
Sports stars making too much money
Celebrities making political statements (who cares, right jack?)
Self important people (I learned that from you, Jack) who drive hybrids just so they can feel superior
High gas prices
Insipid supervisors at work
White kids listening to rap
People who don't pick up after their dogs
Fancy restaurants (too expensive, not enough food, yeah?)
Vegetarians (If God hadn't intended for us to eat animals, why'd he make em out of meat?!)
Lesbians (fuck those bitches)
I could go on and on, Jack. So c'mon, man, bring it! These are just a few of the topics I can think of that have been written about thousands of times that you can cover in your own completely unoriginal and banal way that we all love so much!
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2008-07-07 23:13:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2008-07-07 16:30:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
going food shopping these days depresses me. On one hand we have the government going 'Eat Healthy! Eat Healthy!' but one tomatoe costs like 5 bucks - I don't want to frighten you with the price of avocados.
===
Really? I can buy a week's worth of produce for $15, some of that is usually organic. And I would never dream of leaving the place without an avocado. Like today they were closing up so I could only buy a few things, and I got
4 oranges
2 baby eggplant
1 pint of blueberries
1 pint of grape tomatoes
1 sweet potato
2 bananas
1 avocado
(SEE, I MADE A LIST)
For less than $10.
Also, Jack, I was going to make a comment about the recent increase in your YOU KIDS GET THE HELL OFF MY LAWNness, but the comment below said it better than I could.
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2008-07-07 18:10:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by PayMeLater (user info) at 2008-07-07 17:02:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I enjoyed your bit at the end of 60 Minutes last night.
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AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!
Submitted by PayMeLater (user info) at 2008-07-07 17:02:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I enjoyed your bit at the end of 60 Minutes last night.
Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2008-07-07 16:30:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
going food shopping these days depresses me. On one hand we have the government going 'Eat Healthy! Eat Healthy!' but one tomatoe costs like 5 bucks - I don't want to frighten you with the price of avocados.
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2008-07-07 15:58:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I've even seen people wearing them while giving interviews on TV - I don't mean the "man on the street" type, but the scheduled "Lets sit in front of a camera and a bunch of special lights in a nice setting and discuss X,Y,Z because you are someone people think is an authority" interviews.
although - I have found (having been given a bluetooth) that it IS much nicer not to have to hassle with trying to plug the headset in while the phone rings as I'm driving... However, the headset stays in the car, not on my head.
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2008-07-07 12:28:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I just emailed what I need from the grocery store to my wife. She will print this out at her work, add what she thinks is needed, and purchase said items at cheapest prices at grocery store this afternoon. She will not call me unless my desired items are out of stock and she requires a replacement item.
Simple, and efficient.
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2008-07-07 11:52:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I used to be the new-hire trainer at Fry's in Alpharetta. They have some seriously cheap stuff in there. Just don't get the extended warranty on ANYTHING... you should also avoid the appliance department at all costs.
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2008-07-07 10:27:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2008-07-06 18:02:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2008-07-06 15:15:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Why are you shitting on your cell phone?
===
cuz my english sucks?
-----
Lighten up, Muffin, I was just trying to get a chuckle.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2008-07-07 09:53:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
you're quite the complainer.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2008-07-07 08:49:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by myshit (user info) at 2008-07-07 04:39:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
iPhones... biggest con in the history of cons.
I was listening to the lady opposite me tell her friend how the new carnation of iPhone will have 'This new bit of technology and will be able to do this, and this and this...etc and so on'.
ALL stuff I have been able to do on my Nokia N95 for the past year. AND it didn't cost me anything, unlike these fucking idiots why paid 250 quid for an iPhone.
I laugh in their faces. IN THEIR FACES !
--------------------------------------------------
Ok there Maddox
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2008-07-07 08:48:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
well I think that there are some states (NJ) that have over the last year made it law that you have to be hands free in the vehicle. That said...I'm on your side. I was driving home from getting my wife her D&D fix friday morning and I saw a guy on his bike with his son on the sidewalk on his own bike and the guy was towing another 2 kids in one of those tag alongs behind him and I thought...how awesome...holiday time with the kids and as I got closer I saw the guy had his earpiece in and was in the midst of a conversation and I felt a little less optimistic about the situation.
Submitted by czwij (user info) at 2008-07-07 08:32:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
you mean to tell me that in the west you people have phones with which you can walk about?
wow! that's truly astounding.
i will admit i once saw a businessman with a brief-like case from which he pulled out a phone, wound up a lever in the case and started calling someone, but the case looked cumbersome and rather unweildy, as he carried it with two hands.
I guess it will be a drastic change in our lives when we can call from anywhere rather than line up at the post office to make a call.
school
snow
20 below
uphill
blah, blah, blah on and on
Submitted by Littlebint (user info) at 2008-07-07 05:10:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I still use a list then spend most of my time putting everything other than what I have on said list in my trolley, I like to see the list as a challenge
Submitted by myshit (user info) at 2008-07-07 04:39:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
iPhones... biggest con in the history of cons.
I was listening to the lady opposite me tell her friend how the new carnation of iPhone will have 'This new bit of technology and will be able to do this, and this and this...etc and so on'.
ALL stuff I have been able to do on my Nokia N95 for the past year. AND it didn't cost me anything, unlike these fucking idiots why paid 250 quid for an iPhone.
I laugh in their faces. IN THEIR FACES !
Submitted by TheBrad (user info) at 2008-07-07 03:02:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I wear my earpiece Everywhere. it doesn't connect to my phone, it just makes people think i'm normal when i walk around talking to myself.
Submitted by pandora (user info) at 2008-07-06 18:58:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
A lot of people are too neurotic to be alone with their own thoughts for more than five minutes. Considering the bullshit I hear them yammering about into their phones, I can understand why. Maybe if they weren't so boring and stupid, they would find their own thoughts amusing rather than intolerable. Also, the friends that they compulsively HAVE to call while they're shopping/crapping/driving their car might actually want to spend time with them. Oh well, thanks anyway for the added noise pollution.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2008-07-06 18:02:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2008-07-06 15:15:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Why are you shitting on your cell phone?
===
cuz my english sucks?
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2008-07-06 16:42:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Luddite has two d's. . .
Submitted by Hookhand (user info) at 2008-07-06 16:37:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Fucking ludite
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2008-07-06 16:31:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2008-07-06 15:09:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i play tetris while i take a shit on my cellphone
===========================
The classic misplaced phrase.
Submitted by DonkeyOnTheEdge (user info) at 2008-07-06 15:24:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
01000010 01110010 01101001 01101110 01100111 00100000 01100010 01100001 01100011 01101011 00100000 01110100 01101000 01100101 00100000 01110010 01100001 01110100 01100101 00100000 01100010 01101111 01110100 00101110
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2008-07-06 15:15:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Why are you shitting on your cell phone?
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2008-07-06 15:09:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i play tetris while i take a shit on my cellphone
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2008-07-06 14:35:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by MANICMOTHER (user info) at 2008-07-06 14:59:57 BST (#)
Ranking: 1
If you want to blame someone, blame America's crippling addiction to new tech products and our overly competitive nature
-----
That doesn't really work since we are quickly sliding toward third world, technologically.... We are already second world, and are allowing corporations to stifle innovation. Look at cell phones in Asia. Their internet access is faster than our cable modems. 30 Mb/s broadband is $25 a month over there.
We're the world leader in pretension, though.
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2008-07-06 13:40:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I have a set of stereo wireless headphones that work with my cell 'phone because it doesn't have a headphone jack. I put electrical tape over the flashing blue lights because I hate them. The 'phone also serves as a reminder system and so does very well storing things like grocery lists. You email your recepies to your 'phone and there's your shopping list.
Submitted by morello (user info) at 2008-07-06 12:38:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You are the VERY best Jack McCallum Author.
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2008-07-06 10:51:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by MANICMOTHER (user info) at 2008-07-06 14:59:57 BST (#)
Ranking: 1
If you want to blame someone, blame America's crippling addiction to new tech products and our overly competitive nature. In the 50's the term "keeping up with the Joneses" was referred to those starting neighborhood cold wars over who had the best cars, houses, furniture, patios, etc. Though we have grown in sophistication as our technological knowledge has expanded, we seems to have transfered that competitive drive to who has the best electronic toys.
Personally, I believe we're losing our souls, individuality, and our sanity to the gods of technology.
-----------------
100100010101011101010101010101111110 1010101 11010101010101010001010101110100101010, so there
Submitted by MANICMOTHER (user info) at 2008-07-06 09:59:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
If you want to blame someone, blame America's crippling addiction to new tech products and our overly competitive nature. In the 50's the term "keeping up with the Joneses" was referred to those starting neighborhood cold wars over who had the best cars, houses, furniture, patios, etc. Though we have grown in sophistication as our technological knowledge has expanded, we seems to have transfered that competitive drive to who has the best electronic toys.
Personally, I believe we're losing our souls, individuality, and our sanity to the gods of technology.
Submitted by Ainkara (user info) at 2008-07-06 05:26:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Well, finally. I don't get those things. My hands free kit came with my phone and matches in colour to my phone and is awesome. I think it picks up radio signals too. Why is something wireless something that so many people seem to want to have? Also, I think they look stupid. Partly because you have something big and ugly stuck on your ear, partly because it looks like you're talking to yourself.
Ok, that review was too long... In summary, I agree.
Submitted by HateMudkips (user info) at 2008-07-06 02:02:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I grocery shop with paper lists!
I make lists of everything, though.
-groceries
-bill-paying - even though most of the shit is deducted via ACH, i like to make a list every month of necessary things such as electricity bills and water bills
-liquor, wines and beers for upcoming social events
-car maintenance issues
-landscaping details
-normal household chores
-dear god, i'm making a list about making lists
Submitted by beeltea (user info) at 2008-07-06 01:09:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i was actually wondering how people handled shopping before cell phones. what is this "pen" you speak of?
Submitted by PayMeLater (user info) at 2008-07-06 00:41:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Do you fall asleep
counting your hits
like amiable sheep?
Submitted by loveinbrevity (user info) at 2008-07-05 22:34:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
If it makes you feel any better, that earpiece is probably giving them a horrible brain tumor. All of those toolboxes will most likely die a horrible and painful death.
Submitted by JustAnotherStudent (user info) at 2008-07-05 22:31:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I hate those earpieces, and always will. They do look super gay, and the flashing lights make it look even more ridiculous. Can you even see the lights when you are using it??
I use a written down shopping list, because I *gasp* cook actual meals for my family from actual fresh meat and produce. If I don't have the damn list, I forget things, and I hate having to go to the store more than once a week.
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2008-07-05 22:08:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Was there some fundamental change in society in the last year or so that affected everyone but me
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The outsider was born.
Submitted by snagglepuss (user info) at 2008-07-05 21:09:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
bzz bzzz click : "Resistance is futile - you will be assimilated..." ....... Locutus
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2008-07-05 20:52:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I still use a handwritten list.
I don't have a cell phone. My wife does, but she's the one with the medical issues.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2008-07-05 20:32:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
those earpieces are super, super gay.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-07-05 20:29:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Nobody calls the outsider.
*sobs*