taste test (364 hits)
Category: NoneRating: -1 on 10 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by <Art> (View user info) at 2008-07-06 15:57:22 EDT
The crowd roared with applause, and with a click of a button were banished to silence.
"You don't have to be so angry all the time."
"How can you watch that crap?" He tossed the control on the opposite couch.
"What crap? It's funny!"
"Fuck that, you didn't laugh once the past ten minutes."
Silence rode through on the back of the air conditioners inaudible whistle
"So what did you want to do then?"
The words danced in provocation of thought, and left her soft white lips with a strong aftertaste of naivety.
He looked in to the honey brown eyes of his beloved, before quickly darting his own toward the floor
"I'm going for a walk."
His focus quickly shifted to the door. He turned and made his way; each step required a struggle and a deep breath to cool his soul, as a lasting gaze burned deeply in to his back.
The cool, controlled atmosphere of the apartment did not match the conflicting distemper prowling through his mind like a jungle cat.
He exited to a dark, damp world, sticky and sweet with humid air. He pulled the moisture in to his nose, and let the pressure fill his lungs.
The world was uncomfortable, but it was also quite real.
He caught eyes with a square brown building built to match the doldrums of the neighborhood.
Nearby, an old and creaking gate was disintegrating to rust, as it wearily inched back and forth; a second-story windowpane reflected his perturbed brow.
He let out an exhausted breath, leaving a syrupy aroma, tingling in his nose and coating his wet tongue. He swallowed deeply as the aroma wafted through his receptors and overcame his senses.
His minds eye became fixated on a hazed desire. The silhouette grew more vivid with every fleeting moment, until he was staring in to bright, exuberant eyes, colored with honey.
He recalled the singular beauty which beckoned for him, as he embraced every fleck. The pungently sweet air gushed through and over him as he drowned in a wave of sickly sweet memories.
He arrived, and stood at his doorstep for an eternal moment. The lights were off and the ordinarily audible television was black with silence. He took a deep breath, knowing the gap between happiness and truth may very well lie chasms apart, as he slowly opened the front door.
User Reviews
Submitted by Ltap (user info) at 2008-07-07 10:10:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
This non-story doesn't deserve anything but a -2die.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2008-07-07 05:52:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I don't get it.
I mean to say, obviously you're wanting me to say something like "ooh, why is he being so random? I MUST find the answer, this piece is so compelling" but I'm afraid all I feel is that the protagonist is a douchebag and so the author probably is as well. Although I'm sure you're not.
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-07-07 04:33:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
a strong aftertaste of naivety?
Submitted by loveinbrevity (user info) at 2008-07-07 04:24:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
No Comment
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-07-06 20:29:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Taste my batch.
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2008-07-06 20:07:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
"He took a deep breath, knowing the gap between happiness and truth may very well lie chasms apart, as he slowly opened the front door."
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This the worst.... oh. Good.
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2008-07-06 20:04:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
"He took a deep breath, knowing the gap between happiness and truth may very well lie chasms apart, as he slowly opened the front door."
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This is the worst writing I can recall reading. I may have read worse but I've blocked it out. Mayhap I will block this out too.
Submitted by frankthebear (user info) at 2008-07-06 16:58:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
did you eat a thesaurus or what?
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2008-07-06 16:41:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Good thing this is in black and white. Otherwise, the whole thing would be purple.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2008-07-06 16:25:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
The words danced in provocation of though
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i really didn't like THAT