Üf (NSFW) (2028 hits)
Category: Quotes & Stories -> PoetryLabels: poetry
Rating: 1.18 on 24 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Flash Harry (View user info) at 2008-07-07 06:33:48 EDT
If you can rate the post and not the poster
And shy away from those that circle-jerk,
If you can create heat without a toaster
And hold respect for those on Bored at Work,
If you can rate and not get bored of rating,
Or sniff out alters, don't be an alter,
Or wait for praise, never get tired of waiting,
And argue stubborn, and never falter:
If you camwhore - have strong skin that remains thick,
If you post porn - Enn Ess Eff Double-Yoo,
If you can live a life through just Type and Click
And use them for more than just Minus Two;
If you can bear to have the words you've written
Ruined by accusations of being ghey,
Or stare blankly at daft pictures of kitten,
And learn quickly, with just one-post-per-day:
If you disregard your average rating
And post utter tripe to be ridiculed,
And fail, and smile throughout the 'tarded slating
And never complain about all the tools;
If you write about all that is within you,
And still have more to say that doesn't suck,
And so earn the right to join this elite crew
Even when all they say is "What the Fuck?"
If you imagine things up that aren't yet things,
Or write with conviction - nor lose humour,
If No Comments serve to give wind to your wings;
If all posts count, the dumb and the dumber,
If you proofread with accurate spelling nous
And wield skillfully the apostrophe
Then, Über becomes friend, lover, and house,
And - which is more - you'll be a loser, like me.
User Reviews
Submitted by BobSandwich (user info) at 2008-07-21 11:43:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by loveinbrevity (user info) at 2008-07-21 11:28:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I should have read this first.
Submitted by JulsInsane (user info) at 2008-07-15 20:47:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Is it me or does the blonde kinda look like Juliet Lewis in a wig?
Submitted by netimportant (user info) at 2008-07-15 20:44:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Hahaha, this picture is awesome in so many ways. Damn, I have to get my ass of the internet. Later dudes.
Submitted by shadow (user info) at 2008-07-15 20:16:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I think the best part of that picture is Jebus looking away respectfully in the background.
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2008-07-08 04:06:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals (user info) at 2008-07-07 20:54:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
This is the highest rating i will ever give poetry.
Also, i thought "nous" rhymed with "moo".
--------
Caulaincourt would agree with you there.
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2008-07-07 20:05:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
no homo
Submitted by PayMeLater (user info) at 2008-07-07 14:28:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
It's proper to give a shout out to the original, as in "with apologies to Kipling" and so forth.
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2008-07-07 14:12:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/nous
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2008-07-07 13:11:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
the chunky one looks a bit like urbane.
Submitted by Linus (user info) at 2008-07-07 13:07:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2008-07-07 13:03:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-07-07 06:04:02 CDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I think it can rhyme with 'moo' or 'mouse'. Both are acceptable.
(I fucking hope so anyway. I have been pronouncing it 'mouse' for years)
Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals (user info) at 2008-07-07 05:54:59 CDT (#)
Ranking: 0
This is the highest rating i will ever give poetry.
Also, i thought "nous" rhymed with "moo".
nous rhymes with mouse.
I English anyway, not sure about Aussiese.
This was very gay btw.
Clever though.
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2008-07-07 12:47:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2008-07-07 12:46:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
cute
Submitted by DeathJester (user info) at 2008-07-07 12:42:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Jesus would approve of me approving of that picture.
Submitted by Ltap (user info) at 2008-07-07 10:08:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Fuck me. Poetry is shit, but I liked this. It reminded me the reason WHY we -2 poetry - not because it's poetry, but because people make it emo and ghey. Thank you.
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2008-07-07 09:38:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I love that jesus is in the background.
Submitted by Nellypaal (user info) at 2008-07-07 09:24:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
"Elite crew" ha ha.
Submitted by tloshjohnson (user info) at 2008-07-07 09:13:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Poetry.
Submitted by creep_firebombing (user info) at 2008-07-07 08:45:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by czwij (user info) at 2008-07-07 07:25:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
as they say in japan
exerant
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-07-07 07:04:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I think it can rhyme with 'moo' or 'mouse'. Both are acceptable.
(I fucking hope so anyway. I have been pronouncing it 'mouse' for years)
Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals (user info) at 2008-07-07 06:54:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
This is the highest rating i will ever give poetry.
Also, i thought "nous" rhymed with "moo".
Submitted by sexualchocolate1984 (user info) at 2008-07-07 06:53:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Normally poetry gets -2's from me, however this seems to feel somewhat relevant, sort of touched me but not in a ghey way.
Nice work. This should be the official rules for Uber.