The Frisbee Theory (534 hits)
Category: GeneralRating: -0.13 on 17 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Geddy Lee (View user info) at 2008-07-09 00:06:04 EDT
Like any person in their early 20s, I've met a respectable amount of people over the past couple of years. It can get quite overwhelming when you meet a large number of people at once, because how do you possibly know if these people are even remotely interesting outside of a social environment? It would be an absolutely exhausting process getting to know each and every person you meet on a deep enough level to decide whether or not you have a meaningful friendship in the coming years. Perhaps some kind of written exam would simplify the process, but then again, this is the social equivalent of panning for gold on an unexplored planet made of yellow coal, which is something we have all done before, of course.
But I digress.
The backend to my theory came to me as a startling realization the other day while I was at a graduation party. There were some little kids throwing around a comically-oversized frisbee, and none of the kids could correctly throw it. Learning to effectively toss a disc around is an ability that comes with age and experience. It's an acquired trait, much like learning to appreciate the aftertaste of a cold beer, or the burn of exhaling cigarette smoke through your nostrils. The ability to throw a frisbee is directly related to the life experience of the disc tosser, and it is this very theory that has given me a new outlook on friends, and on life in general.
I'm willing to bet any amount of money or non-liquidated personal assets that the kind of people that I do not like to hang out with do not know the first thing about how to toss a disc. The strange vibe I get when I come into contact with somebody that I could never see myself becoming good friends with manifests itself into a single sentence that scrolls across my brain: "this person does not know how to throw a frisbee." As soon as this thought crosses my mind, I immediately take a mental note to never let this poor, uncoordinated sap involve them in my live.
One might take my previous statement and distort its meaning to something along the lines of "this judgmental prick doesn't give people a chance." I assure you this is not the case. I'm simply making the connection that the vibe you get from somebody who does not fit your typical 'friend' mold probably does not know how to toss a frisbee.
It is my firmly held belief that if I carried around a frisbee with me at all times and had every person I met try and throw it to me from a quarter mile away, I could save a great deal of time and frustration by immediately filtering out the non-hackers. While it may not be a socially acceptable alternative to the normal process of conversing with people, I think it can be used to help speed up the "getting to know you" process, which plagues our modern age of instant-gratification and endless social networking websites.
Keep in mind that this is a simple theory, void of any kind of field testing (which is still pending).
As far as I'm concerned, there are two kinds of people in this world: those who can throw a frisbee at a trajectory angle of 15 degrees and hit a target from a quarter mile away, and those who couldn't avoid the dreaded frisbee slice to save themselves from a slow, painful execution.
User Reviews
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2008-07-10 20:56:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I crack myself up.
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2008-07-10 20:55:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2008-07-10 19:05:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2008-07-09 08:33:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i always thought this was the Pot Theory
there has always been a natural gravitation in my life towards people that smoke or have smoked and are cool with Pot.
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Mine's with drinkers. Unfortunately there's a lot of old men at my local pub. Which means I have friends called 'Alan' and 'Gerry' and they're all pommy bastards too.
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Mine's with women who smoke pole.
Submitted by Hookhand (user info) at 2008-07-10 20:44:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
For the user name
Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2008-07-10 19:05:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2008-07-09 08:33:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i always thought this was the Pot Theory
there has always been a natural gravitation in my life towards people that smoke or have smoked and are cool with Pot.
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Mine's with drinkers. Unfortunately there's a lot of old men at my local pub. Which means I have friends called 'Alan' and 'Gerry' and they're all pommy bastards too.
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2008-07-09 08:33:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i always thought this was the Pot Theory
there has always been a natural gravitation in my life towards people that smoke or have smoked and are cool with Pot.
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2008-07-09 08:29:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by The_Drake (user info) at 2008-07-09 07:47:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I really doubt anyone would want to be your friend that much.
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2008-07-09 07:26:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
http://www.ubersite.com/m/83238#1814573
Can I be your friend? Do you have a puppy?
Submitted by sexualchocolate1984 (user info) at 2008-07-09 06:31:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I didn't bother reading this, lost interest in the first paragraph.
Pretty much, if you have a connection with someone you'll end up getting to know them better and if you're compatible you'll create a friendship. If you feel you have to try to get to know someone there's not the connection you need and you'd be best off not bothering.
Take it as it comes, if something happens it happens, don't force stuff like that as you'll end up with a group of "friends" that you don't really like and I'd bet they don't really like you either.
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-07-09 05:31:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
When I was at Uni, I knew a guy called Reggie that played on the Ultimate Frisbee team. He was a complete biscuit.
Ergo, frisbees are for biscuits.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2008-07-09 05:26:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
I found this post strangely offensive.
Learning who you do or do not like and why is something you should have gotten sorted out in infant school. As you are still having difficulty with this basic concept I advise you to simply 'love everybody' except people who get angry because they might be violent.
Either that or you could just recede from the social strata completely. Get hold of a plastic bag and ride the bus, looking at people.
Submitted by myshit (user info) at 2008-07-09 04:38:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
It would be an absolutely exhausting process getting to know each and every person you meet on a deep enough level to decide whether or not you have a meaningful friendship in the coming years.
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Bollocks, absolute and utter tripe.
exhausting? getting to know your frineds better?
Don't be so fucking absurd.
Submitted by woolfe (user info) at 2008-07-09 04:02:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
incredible
Submitted by Franger (user info) at 2008-07-09 03:59:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Bushy (user info) at 2008-07-09 00:21:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
First, i very much doubt that you can throw a frisbee a little over four hundred metres (a quarter mile), let alone hit a target at that distance. Maybe, just maybe, one of those super sized aerobees could be tossed 400 metres, but then you need 400 metres of straight, unimpeded distance. Also, as a test for a friend, standing 400 metres away, or even asking someone to stand 400 metres away, is a shit start.
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Completely correct, i'm doubting this fuckspear could even throw it 100m.
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2008-07-09 00:35:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
My first thought was that you're a judgmental prick who doesn't give people a chance.
Settle down, hoss. Just kidding.
When you get older, you can judge a person pretty well just by looking in their eyes. At least I can. At least I think I can. But I am I am I am Superman and I can do anything.
Are you the real Geddy Lee? I saw you in 1983. Given that you're 22, that would have made you -3 years old. Neat trick.
Submitted by Bushy (user info) at 2008-07-09 00:21:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
First, i very much doubt that you can throw a frisbee a little over four hundred metres (a quarter mile), let alone hit a target at that distance. Maybe, just maybe, one of those super sized aerobees could be tossed 400 metres, but then you need 400 metres of straight, unimpeded distance. Also, as a test for a friend, standing 400 metres away, or even asking someone to stand 400 metres away, is a shit start.
"Hey man, good to meet you! now fuck off to a distance of a quarter mile!"
further, you're theory is neither profound nor original. it is simply your manifestation of a realization all people reach at some point in their early/mid twenties. IE. that not everyone is going to be your friend, that you don't have to like everyone you meet and not everyone will like you.
But you get a plus one because you drew me into writing a review, and made me remember my play-dough theory of conversation.
Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals (user info) at 2008-07-09 00:19:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
You wouldn't meet many girls.
Watching them throw things is like watching an octopus try to untangle a fishing net.