Enjoying the Exerciser 2000 (505 hits)
Category: HumorRating: -0.53 on 16 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Nick (View user info) at 2008-07-09 08:25:50 EDT
I was scanning through a magazine the other day and came across a two-page ad that attracted my attention. It was for the Exerciser 2000 "Elite", a machine that allows you to "enjoy the benefits of passive exercise". If that's not an oxymoron I don't know what is.
The instructions are for you to "lie down, place your ankles on the ankle rest and let the machine do the work." The machine looks to be about the size of a couple of shoeboxes that houses an electric motor. On top is the padded ankle rest that is in the shape of a rounded "W".
The ad goes on to say, "When you turn the machine on, it creates a 2 inch, right to left movement that gently moves the body back and forth." I'm assuming it meant "side to side" otherwise the machine would go right to left one time and then the ride would be over; not much of a workout.
The best part of the ad is the area under "What people are saying about the Exerciser 2000 Elite". I have a theory about who actually submitted these testimonials. They were comedy writers who were on strike and needed to earn some money until they returned to work. This is my favorite:
"I have had constipation problems for over 25 years. Since I have been using the Exerciser 2000 Elite ™ I have been regular every day and have begun to lose weight. This is truly a blessing and is so easy to use." - Jeannie
"Begun to lose weight"... no kidding! Twenty-five years is a lot of storage.
User Reviews
Submitted by BranDo (user info) at 2008-07-11 02:23:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by Lurby (user info) at 2008-07-09 18:35:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Thanks for the feedback. I guess at least it had crackle. I'll work on the snap and pop and forget Larry David.
Submitted by DonkeyOnTheEdge (user info) at 2008-07-09 17:38:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Wrong direction, Chief. No snap, no pop. Its like a Seinfeld observation.
Submitted by no1hasdis (user info) at 2008-07-09 17:04:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
thanks for the update.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-07-09 15:02:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No kidding!
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2008-07-09 14:18:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2008-07-09 14:17:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2008-07-09 09:56:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2008-07-09 09:23:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Ruins beautiful things below.
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-07-09 09:10:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
There can be no question, my dear Watson, of the value of exercise before breakfast.
I mean, No Comment.
Submitted by sexualchocolate1984 (user info) at 2008-07-09 09:07:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by Nellypaal (user info) at 2008-07-09 09:04:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2008-07-09 08:50:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2008-07-09 08:50:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2008-07-09 08:44:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Commento
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2008-07-09 08:44:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment