sucking (1021 hits)
Category: NoneRating: -0.46 on 38 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Barts_Dad (View user info) at 2008-07-09 15:17:44 EDT
http://www.ubersite.com/m/117567
Son,
Your mother has written me, and I have to say your behavior is troubling.
I know I haven't been there for you as much as I'd like, but I want you to think of the heartache you're causing your mother.
Please stop bothering the neighbor's dogs. The German Shepherd was one thing, but that Yorkie is defenseless. It's also illegal, and just because Mrs. Dziatkowski is blind don't think she won't find out eventually. Remember Uncle Albert and your cousin's Schnauzer.
And be nice to your sister. Susie didn't mean to stretch out your sweater. When you all got to Aunt Esther's and your mom realized some of the luggage had been left behind, she just had to make do. It's not her fault your shoulders are so much narrower than your little sister's. It doesn't mean you have the right to wear her things to spite her, no matter how "awesome" her panties feel against your skin. Remember Cousin Johnny and the little Mexican girl from next door.
I'm also concerned about your friends. The Matthews boy is so much larger than you, I'm afraid you'll get hurt during practice. And since when does the wrestling team meet in his garage when his parents are out of town? Your mother called the school and they say you two aren't even on the team. It doesn't seem fair you're always on bottom, either. Your mom says the rug burns look awful.
And stop rooting through your mother's medicine cabinet. Vaseline is expensive. Nobody's lips get that chapped.
Well, that's all for know. Try and be good, son. It would mean a lot to me.
I'll send you something nice for your 35th birthday next month.
See you in 3 to 5.
Love,
Dad
User Reviews
Submitted by PayMeLater (user info) at 2008-07-10 16:47:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2008-07-10 12:56:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by PayMeLater (user info) at 2008-07-09 23:50:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Bubba and I fuck around but I doubt either one of us really gives a shit about it.
===================
I GIVE A SHIT!!! I didn't sleep worth a damn last night because of you. Butthead.
HAHAHAHA! Good one Beavis.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2008-07-10 12:56:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by PayMeLater (user info) at 2008-07-09 23:50:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
First of all, Bubba has claimed me to be about five different people and I'd never even heard of some of them, but it's not like I care and it's actually kind of funny.
blah blah blah blah
Bubba and I fuck around but I doubt either one of us really gives a shit about it.
But you really seem bothered by the comments of others on ubersite. I mean, I really think it bothers you.
I wonder how you'd like someone talking to your pregnant wife like that?
What a badass you must be in real life. Very impressive.
===================
I GIVE A SHIT!!! I didn't sleep worth a damn last night because of you. Butthead.
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2008-07-10 08:57:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
All you needed to do to make this post a success is write the words:-
"...Is what I do best!" and then click submit.
Submitted by Littlebint (user info) at 2008-07-10 04:10:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Well here I was looking for a post with some answers
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2008-07-10 03:46:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Hmmm bandwagons arent usually much fun and this mini bandwagon is no exception.
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2008-07-10 01:59:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Try new Joy it ©
An Ubersite original product.
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2008-07-10 01:58:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
The sheer joy it you seem to get from manufacturing all this e-drama is really quite entertaining to watch Willard.
You push buttons like no one else... which is why it's so obvious to me who you are.
I just can't help but smile.
DAMN YOU.
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2008-07-10 01:40:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
HotWillie FTW!
You sure got me good.
Submitted by PayMeLater (user info) at 2008-07-10 00:37:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm not new, I just haven't been hanging around uber every day for the last ten years like you.
The chick you're ragging on sounds like she's fucking fourteen.
Why don't you read those comments aloud to your wife and tell her you wrote that shit to some pregnant teenager on the internet?
She'll be so proud of her big internet tough guy husband, I'm sure.
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2008-07-10 00:29:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
blah blah blah.
You are not very convincing Willard - but if you want to play-act this "new guy" act you go for it sunshine. It's obviously very important to you.
Now, if my darling wife went around acting like a sour cantankerous bitch... I would expect her to get treated in the same fashion. (She doesn't.)
As you seem SOOOO interested - I'll explain it for ya:
See, I have been nothing but nice and overtly friendly towards this 'toe' character - and lately she has left a trail of snarky, nasty, an all-round cunty comments direct about and at me.
And >gasp< they HAVE bothered me, yes.
OMG!
At the end of the day these assembled letters are nothing more than words... and when people read and interpret them some might very well evoke some feeling. It's all relative and heavily saturated in context and experience.
Rest assured, pookie, the words you churn out evoke little more than slight amusement tinged with a bit of boredom deep down in my soul... sorry.
Submitted by PayMeLater (user info) at 2008-07-09 23:50:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
First of all, Bubba has claimed me to be about five different people and I'd never even heard of some of them, but it's not like I care and it's actually kind of funny.
Second, my point was that for a guy who's about to be a new father your comments to that "sour bitch" and her "cunting ways" was fucking stupid.
I didn't even know who you were, either, until I read some review that you were having a kid and I thought hey that's pretty cool.
Then I read your idiotic rant on the pregnant chick's post. I read the reviews and didn't see anything she even said to you, so I can only assume you're doing the same thing as here, stopping by to -2 someone for some petty slight as if it matters.
Bubba and I fuck around but I doubt either one of us really gives a shit about it.
But you really seem bothered by the comments of others on ubersite. I mean, I really think it bothers you.
I wonder how you'd like someone talking to your pregnant wife like that?
What a badass you must be in real life. Very impressive.
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2008-07-09 23:33:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I think getting banned from this dump and dusting off this old account to flirt with Bubba is a bit more 'retarded' than calling a sour bitch out on her cunting ways there Willard... but what do I know?
I'm pretty sure I quit this place a couple times.
As you are SO interested - kid is on its way any time now.
Submitted by PayMeLater (user info) at 2008-07-09 22:26:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Don't emoticon me, bitch.
Rim me like you promised.
JAAA-AAACK! Make Bubba tongue me!
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2008-07-09 19:26:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
you lied. asswipe.
:D
Submitted by PayMeLater (user info) at 2008-07-09 18:57:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Bubba, are you saying you're not going to tongue my ass like you do with Jack?
Fulfill the contract, bitch!
The fact I'm an ugly, lying loser should make you feel right at home.
As the ob/gyn screamed when he wrenched me from my mother's loins, "YOU, SIR, ARE IN BREACH!"
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2008-07-09 18:51:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
ubmitted by PayMeLater (user info) at 2008-07-09 17:55:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Icarus is correct, only I wrote part of it in gym class when the other girls were in the shower.
OKAY BUBBA I'M ALL DONE.
I changed the agreement and gave you 5 +2s and 5 -2s.
I hope that's okay, my friend.
=================
You lie, on top of being ugly. Loser.
Submitted by PayMeLater (user info) at 2008-07-09 18:50:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Just wait till tomorrow, Shlongy.
Bart's kids are going to blow your nuts off!
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-07-09 18:46:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-07-09 15:02:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
barts mom blows as much as bart does, apparently.
PS. Now we can add barts dad into the mix.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-07-09 18:41:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Christ you're useless.
Here's how you do it right.
http://www.ubersite.com/m/99214
Submitted by PayMeLater (user info) at 2008-07-09 17:55:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Icarus is correct, only I wrote part of it in gym class when the other girls were in the shower.
OKAY BUBBA I'M ALL DONE.
I changed the agreement and gave you 5 +2s and 5 -2s.
I hope that's okay, my friend.
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2008-07-09 17:46:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Mildly amusing. Kind of comes off as something you might write in 9th grade study hall.
Submitted by PayMeLater (user info) at 2008-07-09 17:45:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
DEAL!
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2008-07-09 17:44:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by PayMeLater (user info) at 2008-07-09 17:41:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I'll do ten if you do that thing with your tongue McCallum likes so much.
===================
You do the ten first. . .
Submitted by PayMeLater (user info) at 2008-07-09 17:41:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I'll do ten if you do that thing with your tongue McCallum likes so much.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2008-07-09 17:33:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by PayMeLater (user info) at 2008-07-09 17:24:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I <3 Bubba
========================
Prove you're not lying. +2 thirty of my posts. NOW!!
Submitted by PayMeLater (user info) at 2008-07-09 17:24:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I <3 Bubba
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2008-07-09 17:21:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by PayMeLater (user info) at 2008-07-09 17:09:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Thank you, Bubba.
When things go bad you always seem to be right there, my friend.
=================
Of course. Haven't you read the handouts? I CAUSE all the bad stuff to happen. Don't call me friend, Jonny/Willie/ PayMe/ anyotherassholenameyouchoose.
Submitted by PayMeLater (user info) at 2008-07-09 17:09:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Thank you, Bubba.
When things go bad you always seem to be right there, my friend.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2008-07-09 17:06:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by PayMeLater (user info) at 2008-07-09 16:47:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Yozz (user info) at 2008-07-09 16:03:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
You know - when you get banned, NO ONE is going to notice.
Bubba will notice.
-------------
And applaud.
Submitted by no1hasdis (user info) at 2008-07-09 16:54:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Not great, not that bad either. Solid 0.
Submitted by PayMeLater (user info) at 2008-07-09 16:47:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Yozz (user info) at 2008-07-09 16:03:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
You know - when you get banned, NO ONE is going to notice.
Bubba will notice.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2008-07-09 16:17:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by PayMeLater (user info) at 2008-07-09 15:45:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Well, it IS titled sucking.
==============
It does what the title says. You really stink, ya know?
Submitted by Yozz (user info) at 2008-07-09 16:03:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
You know - when you get banned, NO ONE is going to notice.
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2008-07-09 16:01:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by PayMeLater (user info) at 2008-07-09 15:45:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Well, it IS titled sucking.
Submitted by SgtHartman (user info) at 2008-07-09 15:47:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh, the guys are work are going to have a field day with this.
-- Homer Simpson
Submitted by PayMeLater (user info) at 2008-07-09 15:45:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Well, it IS titled sucking.
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2008-07-09 15:29:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
:(
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2008-07-09 15:26:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I didn't find this to be terribly funny.
Truth be told you tired too hard.